0388: "Fuck Grapefruit"

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Ghandi 2 » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:46 am UTC

Wait, why are bananas so far to the right on the easy scale? You can eat them with just your hands and without having to wash anything!

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Amnesiasoft » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:55 am UTC

The Y axis on this graph is flipped. Except coconuts. They can remain where they are.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby MysticTerminator » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:57 am UTC

Fuck bananas.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby whitneyk » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:58 am UTC

my first thought was, "where's the coconut?!?" and then the alt-text made my day

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Lumpy » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:59 am UTC

FTH wrote:Oranges need to be higher than apples!


And bananas. With an apple, all you have to do is bite into it, or alternatively, use an apple slicer. A banana is as easier than an apple, once you peel it, so it nearly evens out. But an orange? You would need very sharp, metal finger nails to tear the peeling off that thing without utensil help. So you can't use an apple slicer, and cutting it up into eighths (sometimes I cut it up into near ninths, sevenths, sixths, and fifths, but I suspect it'd have to be even with you guys) slowly with a knife involves the risk of slight cutting. Slight cutting is more painful around saltier or more acidic foods.

Then when I actually eat the orange, it's usually too cold for my sensitive teeth, and the juice gets all over my hands. A single watermelon is more difficult to handle than a single orange, but the payout per cubic meter is bigger. Even after I slice that watermelon into fourths or eighths, place it in the refrigerator, take one slice out later, place it under newspaper or something and dig into it with a spoon, it still feels like less trouble than feasting on the same volume of oranges. However, one has to take into account the fact that as one strays from the center area of the watermelon, the proportion of watermelon flavoring to just plain water increases. Then past a certain point, what is left of the watermelon flavor gives way to a nasty "rind" taste.

Grapes, seeded or not, seem much "easier" than apples to me. They are, as the candy companies say, "fun size" and "bite size." Apples aren't easy to bite into like a regular sized candy bar, either. It feels like biting into the side of a tree...in your hand. Bananas and grapes most definitely, for little monkey Lumpy, tie for best fruit. Orange juice and apple juice tie for best fruit derivatives.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Drostie » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:00 am UTC

The first thing I thought when I read this comic was "Someone is WRONG on the Internet! But... but... Randall! How could you?!"

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby rut774 » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:02 am UTC

So THAT'S how you compare apples and oranges.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby drpantzo » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:04 am UTC

slobrummer wrote:Was I the only one that saw this and instantly thought he was comparing tastiness of fruits to there difficulty level of being... raped. As in the old joke where someone warms up watermelon or what have you and cuts a small hole? That's what I got out of the "Fuck grapefruits". I was like... he made this? really? It's funny and yet so... not expected, then I decided I had to be wrong and sure enough no one else seems to have read it like that.


Question: What do you call the act of a man forcing himself onto a dried, Middle Eastern fruit? Answer: Date rape!

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby e946 » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:09 am UTC

Lumpy wrote:
FTH wrote:Oranges need to be higher than apples!


And bananas. With an apple, all you have to do is bite into it, or alternatively, use an apple slicer. A banana is as easier than an apple, once you peel it, so it nearly evens out. But an orange? You would need very sharp, metal finger nails to tear the peeling off that thing without utensil help. So you can't use an apple slicer, and cutting it up into eighths (sometimes I cut it up into near ninths, sevenths, sixths, and fifths, but I suspect it'd have to be even with you guys) slowly with a knife involves the risk of slight cutting. Slight cutting is more painful around saltier or more acidic foods.

Then when I actually eat the orange, it's usually too cold for my sensitive teeth, and the juice gets all over my hands. A single watermelon is more difficult to handle than a single orange, but the payout per cubic meter is bigger. Even after I slice that watermelon into fourths or eighths, place it in the refrigerator, take one slice out later, place it under newspaper or something and dig into it with a spoon, it still feels like less trouble than feasting on the same volume of oranges. However, one has to take into account the fact that as one strays from the center area of the watermelon, the proportion of watermelon flavoring to just plain water increases. Then past a certain point, what is left of the watermelon flavor gives way to a nasty "rind" taste.

Grapes, seeded or not, seem much "easier" than apples to me. They are, as the candy companies say, "fun size" and "bite size." Apples aren't easy to bite into like a regular sized candy bar, either. It feels like biting into the side of a tree...in your hand. Bananas and grapes most definitely, for little monkey Lumpy, tie for best fruit. Orange juice and apple juice tie for best fruit derivatives.


you're terrible at eating oranges. I eat them with my bare hands all the time without difficulty and they're great.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Paiev » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:16 am UTC

e946 wrote:
Lumpy wrote:
FTH wrote:Oranges need to be higher than apples!


And bananas. With an apple, all you have to do is bite into it, or alternatively, use an apple slicer. A banana is as easier than an apple, once you peel it, so it nearly evens out. But an orange? You would need very sharp, metal finger nails to tear the peeling off that thing without utensil help. So you can't use an apple slicer, and cutting it up into eighths (sometimes I cut it up into near ninths, sevenths, sixths, and fifths, but I suspect it'd have to be even with you guys) slowly with a knife involves the risk of slight cutting. Slight cutting is more painful around saltier or more acidic foods.

Then when I actually eat the orange, it's usually too cold for my sensitive teeth, and the juice gets all over my hands. A single watermelon is more difficult to handle than a single orange, but the payout per cubic meter is bigger. Even after I slice that watermelon into fourths or eighths, place it in the refrigerator, take one slice out later, place it under newspaper or something and dig into it with a spoon, it still feels like less trouble than feasting on the same volume of oranges. However, one has to take into account the fact that as one strays from the center area of the watermelon, the proportion of watermelon flavoring to just plain water increases. Then past a certain point, what is left of the watermelon flavor gives way to a nasty "rind" taste.

Grapes, seeded or not, seem much "easier" than apples to me. They are, as the candy companies say, "fun size" and "bite size." Apples aren't easy to bite into like a regular sized candy bar, either. It feels like biting into the side of a tree...in your hand. Bananas and grapes most definitely, for little monkey Lumpy, tie for best fruit. Orange juice and apple juice tie for best fruit derivatives.


you're terrible at eating oranges. I eat them with my bare hands all the time without difficulty and they're great.


+5 Insightful.

Oranges are in fact incredibly easy to peel, though not as easy as bananas. You don't need fingernails at all; I have very short fingernails and eat them just fine. You need practice at orange-eating :)

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Willl » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:21 am UTC

I love how usually every comic is followed by a hoarde of people proclaiming how it absolutely mirrors their thoughts/experiences/perspective on life... yet not one person seems to be like-minded with Monroe when it comes down to fruit.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby thebandit » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:30 am UTC

There needs to be a third axis for texture. On the bottom end of the axis will be apples and pears, which have the worst. fucking. textures. ever. On the high end would be things like bananas.

Blueberries, incidentally, are the most amazing fruits ever and deserve prime placement.

And where the hell are the raspberries? And blackberries? And goddamn carambola? (all of which are awesome)
Last edited by thebandit on Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:51 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby sk8ingdom » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:32 am UTC

Image
Nectarines are VASTLY superior to peaches in both texture and taste. That is unless, you're a peach fuzz kind of guy... Perhaps they are in the first quadrant outside of the viewing window of the plot. Contingent upon authors intent, I consider this a grave error or a powerful insight.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby djagir » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:32 am UTC

Obviously, oranges are so far down on the Y axis because they're not blood oranges.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby ph33l_da_l0v3 » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:35 am UTC

Oranges are definatley misplaced. They might be a tad difficult, but they should be in quadrant II not III.

<3 oranges

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby screech » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:36 am UTC

Aw...I like lemons...
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Arancaytar » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:38 am UTC

Darcey wrote:Two things:

Someone should really make an application where you can rate each fruit on a scale of -50 to 50 for each category, and then the application averages everyone's ratings together and rearranges the chart automatically. It would be really interesting to see how that compares to Randall's chart.


Just give me ten minutes or so... *code* =P
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby hoffmanbike » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:39 am UTC

i think we need a "z" axis for nutritional value

and i completly disagree with grapefruit, orange, and lemon being untasty (but definitly are hard to work with)

where are these fruits? lime, tangelo, tangerines, nectarines, clementines, peppers (yes they're a fruit from a botany standpoint), raspberries, blackberries, cranberries, mangoes, eggplant, squash, pumpkin, musk melons (what we call cantalopes), honey dew melons, raisins (technicality - i know), apricots, etc....

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Arancaytar » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:41 am UTC

sk8ingdom wrote:Image
Nectarines are VASTLY superior to peaches in both texture and taste. That is unless, you're a peach fuzz kind of guy... Perhaps they are in the first quadrant outside of the viewing window of the plot. Contingent upon authors intent, I consider this a grave error or a powerful insight.


Did this picture give a vague sense of Not Safe For Work to anyone else, or is my imagination over-active again?
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby __Kit » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:44 am UTC

I know no one cares, BUT, go WATERMELONS!!!
=]

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Chacor » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:50 am UTC

I'm honoured to find out that I'm not the only one who fucking hates grapefruits, and Randall Munroe does too. Fuck grapefruit.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby krynd » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:55 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:Why would the ability to weld a knife have any bearing on this discussion?

Because this is xkcd. Who here hasn't welded a broken knife? At least who here hasn't thought of welding two knives together and creating a do-it-yourself n00b-sword? All the win, minus the skill of forging.
Spoiler:
Maybe I should be better knives...



I don't eat fruit, so I wouldn't know about this graph's accuracy. However, given common reactions from people who do buy quality produce (as opposed to Randall, apparantly), bananas should flipped about x-axis, and oranges flipped about the origin.

Unless... Randall doesn't eat fruit either, and considers them (trees (mostly) that fruit grows on) all a worthless use of what could be quality grazing land for our bovine food friends.
Spoiler:
I now await a discussion segfault as people blast me for not eating fruit. Sorry, I just don't like the stuff. Or vegetables....
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby bdude » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:03 am UTC

I disagree with the placement of oranges in the tastiness axis, but 100% agree with your decision to place green apples higher than red apples.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Daniel » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:08 am UTC

Banana fills me with nothing but disgust and loathing.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby charmuska » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:10 am UTC

http://xkcd.com/386/
Hmm....


Anywho. Tastes aside, I am going to maintain that bananas and apples are about equal in the ease-to-eat department. Unless you get a less than prime banana. Those things can be hard to open if they don't want to. But, the apple's hardness, core, and tendency to make hands sticky trumps that in my opinion.

And to the one who said tomatoes are easy to eat: agree.

Still not sure how oranges are harder to eat than watermelon. You have to cut them both open. You have to spit out seeds from both. But a watermelon, you can't really hold the whole thing in your hands as you eat. Ah well.


Wondering where Randall would stick place kiwis and clementines.
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Rat » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:19 am UTC

fuck you randall

i had my first grapefruit in YEARS yesterday morning, and enjoyed it too.

not hard at all if you have the tools.. knife to cut it in half, sugar to sweeten, grapefruit sized bowl to hold it, and pointy spoon to dig out its guts... the bowl also serves as a container for all the juice you can squeeze out after youre finished.. mmm i think i'll have another when i wake up today



maybe not everyone is blessed with all that advanced technology, or proper taste buds

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby selfopening_door » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:22 am UTC

All this talk of watermelons reminds me of this. (Even though I can't say I like watermelons, I love the song.)

Also, BANANAS FTW!! :D

(Still have to try the "banana + apple in a bag -> perfect banana" trick though.)
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Robin S » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:35 am UTC

I confess to being a little disappointed. Grapefruit are one of my favourite fruits.
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby dramatic » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:43 am UTC

Wondering where Randall would stick place kiwis and clementines.


Kiwis are not on the chart because they would be classed as MEAT - and they are a protected species at that, so eating one would get you thrown in jail. Kiwifruit might be another matter.
Yeah yeah, another case of two nations divided by a common language.

And clementines = mandarins, n'est ce pas?

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Sam Knight » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:49 am UTC

FUCK salt!

Hahahaha, who else thought of that as soon as they saw the title?
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Tyris and Cortle » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:54 am UTC

mattgcn wrote:I enjoy the deluge of "fuck that shit!" in this comic. To add in my own,

Fuck you, man, lemons are choice
Hooaaaaaaaaaah!

e946 wrote:you're terrible at eating oranges. I eat them with my bare hands all the time without difficulty and they're great.
Most people would use their mouth. ;)


Like grapes, tomatoes need two placements, though there's no such thing as a seedless: specifically, shop-bought and home-grown. Yes, most fruit will have a difference but with tomatoes it's a vast gulf. They taste so much better when you let them ripen on the plant.
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Jérôme ^ » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:58 am UTC

The Y axis is really meaningless in this graphic; sorting by personal preference is pointless (and just look at all the answers this got on the forum, saying “Fruit A is so better than fruit B”. But maybe this was the goal and this cartoon was just a troll.) . Something more objective would have been: X = easiness to eat (this was really brilliant), and Y = “easiness of taste”, probably with labels sour / sugar. And let people make their choices from here.

Oh, and include an arrow pointing in the general direction of the durian !

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby brokengod » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:59 am UTC

Obviously, your science is not botany. Coconuts are nuts--not fruits. Or, at least the edible part of them as purchased in a grocery store.


Clearly, your science isn't botany either.

Nuts are fruit.

Also, grapefruits are awesome, though difficult.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Prometheus » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:01 am UTC

No matter what your opinion is of the taste of bananas (and I think they should be on the tasty side), I challenge anyone here to deny that they belong further into 'easy' territory.

I would plot kiwis about equal with blueberries for tasty, and even with oranges for difficult. Because while you can eat the skin, it's furry, so no thanks. You need a knife to peel it, and your hands get all juicy. I only placed it at same difficulty as orange, because I think orange should be equal to where lemon is.

Darcey wrote:I also cannot eat grapefruits, which rank in the top five for favourite fruit in my opinion, due to stupid medicines. ROAR.


Me too. I can't help but wonder if they are the same meds.
Well I thought it was funny.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Prometheus » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:05 am UTC

brokengod wrote:
Obviously, your science is not botany. Coconuts are nuts--not fruits. Or, at least the edible part of them as purchased in a grocery store.


Clearly, your science isn't botany either.

Nuts are fruit.

Also, grapefruits are awesome, though difficult.


Coconuts are droops. Modern Marvels told me so. I'm not so much into the biological sciences, but I do pick up information here and there.
Well I thought it was funny.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby brokengod » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:12 am UTC

You're both wrong. Coconuts are droops. Modern Marvels told me so. I'm not so much into the biological sciences, but I do pick up information here and there.


You mean "drupe".

Which is a fruit.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby QuestionablyLegalManeuver » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:19 am UTC

Who knew fruit could be such a controversial subject?
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Mr. Mack » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:20 am UTC

kellsbells wrote:Points for including a tomato on a fruit chart.


No, no points. Botanists consider tomatoes a fruit due to the fact that the carry seeds. However, this chart clearly pertains to fruits in a culinary sense, and dietitians consider tomatoes a vegetable due to the fact that fruits contain some form of sugar and tomatoes do not.

That aside, I think there's more to be discussed than just "tasty vs. untasty." For instance, lemons are sour and pomegranates always seemed somewhat bitter to me. Sometimes those are good things, other times it can be annoying.
Also, what oranges are he eating? I've have some South African navel oranges that were sweeter than pure honey.
Well, whatever, to each his own.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Prometheus » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:25 am UTC

brokengod wrote:
You're both wrong. Coconuts are droops. Modern Marvels told me so. I'm not so much into the biological sciences, but I do pick up information here and there.


You mean "drupe".

Which is a fruit.


you must have quoted that during the minute or so between when I posted, and when I removed the 'you're wrong' part. I misremembered the specifics of the argument, and erroneously started crap I didn't intend.
Well I thought it was funny.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Kebrel » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:27 am UTC

I guess Randal is just color blind, he got green and red apples backwards. Don't worry it's nothing to be ashamed of a lot of men are.


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