0388: "Fuck Grapefruit"

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sinister
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby sinister » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:38 pm UTC

I like grapefruit. I used to eat half a grapefruit every day before high school. It's a lot easier if you have the special grapefruit spoons. Also, I could 'accidently' shoot one or more grapefruit seeds at any one of my family who was being particularly annoying. Grapefruit is very healthy, and orange juice causes me stomache upset if taken first thing in the morning. The other parts of my breakfast were an english muffin with cinnamon and butter, and Twinings irish breakfast tea. Was i stuck in a ritual breakfast? perhaps.but considering i would have had about 4 hours sleep at best (having spent the night hacking, Apple ][+, 300 baud modem, blue box), it seemed best to have a breakfast plan which required as little decision making as possible. It would take me almost an hour before my brain could function after waking. Of course, this was before I got over my initial revulsion to the taste of coffee and became an addict. Now I can be in a productive, bad, and bitchy mood within ten minutes of waking.

i really couldn't go cookoo for cocopuffs. And they no longer included that famous whistle in captain crunch.

aricusmax
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby aricusmax » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:43 pm UTC

I'm wondering if the Mr. Munroe has ever tried Durian... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian - I dare, nay,I double dare! :twisted:

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Ondore
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Ondore » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:45 pm UTC

The reason Randall hates grapefruit is because he ended up stranded on a desert island after a grapefruit stuck the brakes on a bus he was riding to a Model UN conference.

Fuck Milhouse.

Randvek
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Randvek » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:53 pm UTC

Is it just me, or has there been a distinct lack of teh funny lately? I'm not entirely sure what is supposed to be amusing about this (or the last several, really).

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby theoretical_cat » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:01 pm UTC

My first reaction: "COOL! I should do this!"
Then I realized I hate pretty much all fruits. The only things in the positive Tasty axis (of this list) would be strawberries, cherries, plums, peaches, and pomegranate. Pomegranate and strawberry would be up there a bit, but the others would be pretty close to 0 :b And ALL the other fruits would be way down.
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Synergistic » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:10 pm UTC

I was disappointed by the lack of coconut until a friend asked me if I read it, and I went back to read it again and as I was complaining about the lack of coconut, I noticed the alt text.

But yes, coconuts suck, I found it much easier to go to an Oriental Market and get a sort of coconut soda.

rascher
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby rascher » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:17 pm UTC

MightyMouse wrote:The concept of 'difficult fruit' raises all kinds of questions. 'Easy fruit' may be more worrying though.


From digg, this may shed light on the issue:

http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/4634/oj3rdc7hk.jpg

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Sprocket » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:26 pm UTC

True story, I can not abide by a man who is a finicky eater. Especially if that man is against tomatoes and has only a few specific vegetables and fruits he will eat. True, a couple is better than those starch and meat guys, whom I truly can not handle at all, but who the fuck doesn't like bananas!? They're BANANAS! (*If we're talking about liking Gordon, on the other hand, well I understand keeping a distance there).

Anyway, point is, Randall...it could never be.

rascher wrote:From digg, this may shed light on the issue:

http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/4634/oj3rdc7hk.jpg

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby halcyon1234 » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:30 pm UTC

Isn't this like comparing apples to oranges?
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby justinhj » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:38 pm UTC

lol halycon

I like this cartoon, and disagree with the placement of the fruits, but I'm not the cartoonist so who cares.

It would make an awesome webpage where people can drag the fruit around to where they want it, then click a button to see the average (or insert your more clever statistical mechanism here).

Grapefruit is easy... I just chop it in two, then use a curved fruit knife to cut it away from the skin, then chop it into segments and eat it right out of the skin. Finally if nobody is watching I slurp the juice.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby thebandit » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:47 pm UTC

Let's try persimmons. Persimmons don't get a point, they get a vector. At first they're "HOLY HELL THIS IS AMAZING", but as you eat more of them, they drop rapidly in taste, because they're just too damn sweet, and get to "OH GOD I'M GONNA BE SICK. FUCK PERSIMMONS" rather quickly.

Commander Bob
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Commander Bob » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:51 pm UTC

I've never been offended by a xkcd comic until I saw how low apples rank on the tasty scale.

I know it's all preference, but for Christ's sake, how do you list an apple as untasty?!

cronic5
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby cronic5 » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:59 pm UTC

I like lemons...

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Black ICE » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:13 pm UTC

For the pineapple i used a katana and got it in less then a second :lol: (ok it took a few swings but i got it) as for the grapefruit...never had, probably never will after this comic. Coconuts, taste good to me, used a hammer go it in a few minuets :D

EDIT: this topic got hot really fast :shock:

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby benjhuey » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:17 pm UTC

Nectarines > Peaches
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Jach
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Jach » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:39 pm UTC

Wha...?

I love all of those fruits (especially grapefruit), except tomatoes and pomegranates. And they're all pretty easy too (if I ever get a juicer they get even easier). As for coconuts, if you don't care about the juice then just hurl it against the ground and enjoy.
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JackFirestone
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby JackFirestone » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:42 pm UTC

This chart will be different for every person. Unique like a fingerprint or DNA. Therefore this can be used as a new biometric method for authentication. Or at least as a SiteKey type of icon.

GoldenPhi
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby GoldenPhi » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:50 pm UTC

...hmmm
I guess the guy from this comic finally made up his mind http://www.xkcd.com/236

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:55 pm UTC

thebandit wrote:Let's try persimmons. Persimmons don't get a point, they get a vector. At first they're "HOLY HELL THIS IS AMAZING", but as you eat more of them, they drop rapidly in taste, because they're just too damn sweet, and get to "OH GOD I'M GONNA BE SICK. FUCK PERSIMMONS" rather quickly.


Persimmons are excellent. They're very tricky though. They look ripe (reddish orange) on the outside, but they have to be very soft or squishy in order to be determined ripe.

My great-grandparents had a few persimmon trees on their farm, as well as a couple of peach trees (killed by the blight), a few crabapple trees (great-granddad loved to eat those; also said they made a great jelly. I'll take his word for it), a golden delicious apple tree that surprisingly still produced apples, even after it was burned from the nearby barn having been burned down, a pear tree that one of our horses loved to get pears from, a brown fig bush, a black fig bush, several pecan trees, and a couple of winesap apple trees, which supposedly made the best homemade applesauce. They also had a large vine of muscadines and scuppernongs. I wish my dad hadn't killed most of it, but a lot of them had overgrown.

Back to the persimmons. I tricked my dad into eating an unripe persimmon. I thought they were ripe, but when I picked one up, it was still hard and firm. He took it, and cut it in half with his knife. I barely licked my half, but he bit into his. His entire face withdrew back into his head. I remember hearing Jerry Clower talking about a homemade treatment for baldness: horseradish, persimmon juice, and lemon juice. It won't make your hair grow back, but it will cause your sideburns to draw up to the top of your head.
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fjman
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby fjman » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:58 pm UTC

The more difficult portion to draw was the Z axis, and that's where the fun information really hides, as it's marked "How much fun it is to wach someone else eat this".

In that arena, the banana truely shines.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby EOTistatron » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:12 pm UTC

Anyone who says they don't like grapefruit needs to go to south Texas; you New Englanders haven't had real grapefruit until you've tried ruby red. Their only a bit more difficult than other citrus, since you need a spoon, but the only bad thing about the taste is you can't drink milk right after. If it's too sour, add some sugar. Excellent for breakfast.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby notzeb » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:34 pm UTC

Dude, what the hell. Randall knows nothing about fruit. Let me break it down for you:

#1 fruit of all time: Honeydew. With a little lime for flavor.
#2: Mango. Everyone knows this.
#3: Cantaloupe.
#4: Lemon/Lime. We have a lemon tree, sometimes I eat them raw :twisted:
#5: Grapefruit. Sometimes they need a little sugar.
#6: Pomegranate.
#7: Grapes.
#8: Coconut.
#9: Apples... unfortunately, some are not as good as others.
#10: Bananas. Although, these *are* very easy to prepare.

Worst fruit of all time: Pineapple. (Ok, there are worse fruits, but this one always finds its way into fruit salad :( )
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby shadowboy » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:41 pm UTC

Apples need to move way higher on the scale. Especially juicy & tart upstate NY apples (Cortland, McIntosh). I :heart: apples (my favorite fruit by far).

Grapefruit, Oranges, and Bananas need to go up on the tasty scale. Watermelon needs to go down on the tasty scale (I've always found watermelons to be rather bland). Pears needs to be reflected through the X axis (I've always found them rather bland, too).

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby The Hyphenator » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:42 pm UTC

I disagree with... most things on the chart. Tomatoes should be so far down they're off the chart; oranges, grapes, green apples, cherries should go up; everything else down.

Oh, and lemons should be inverted on the x-axis.

Still, this was a very creative one. I like the lack of explanation; it took me a second to figure out what was going on :)
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby spaceiscurved » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:43 pm UTC

I honestly agree with most of the comic, but I love oranges and bananas. And I don't think bananas are really all that hard. Haha, hard bananas. :wink:

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.
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Syphon
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Syphon » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:47 pm UTC

Fixed, for great justice. Kiwi is now the standard by which all fruit is judged.

Image

There's also a 4th dimensional W axis, with the data for "Name Hilarity" but I could'nt accurately graph on a tesseractic plane in Photoshop. Curiously, many fruit not visible on the normal axis appear there. Such as the boysenberry.

mattgcn
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby mattgcn » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:53 pm UTC

amablue wrote:I think this is much more accurate. It still needs to have some more fruit added to it though. Where are my various berries? He got blueberries, but no raspberries and black berries? And what about Kiwis and Limes?

Image

Most notably, lemons are moved way to the top, some of the fruits in the top right have been moved down, and strawberries and pomegranates have been moved up to the tip top (pomegranates are supposed to be even with Pineapples, but the length of their respective names made that impossible). Pure lemon isn't the greatest in the world, I know, but I still love lemons. I think apples in general should be higher up on the chart, but I've already saved and uploaded it so it's too late now :?

I also propose we add an imaginary axis to the graph so that I can add things like Chesto Berry, Wiki Berry, and Iapapa Berry. A fig newton to whoever gets the reference.


You mean Chessnuts, Kiwis and Papayas? The Pokemon berries all have a root in some sort of fruit :D

Ondore wrote:The reason Randall hates grapefruit is because he ended up stranded on a desert island after a grapefruit stuck the brakes on a bus he was riding to a Model UN conference.

Fuck Milhouse.


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maelstrom
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby maelstrom » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:04 pm UTC

aricusmax wrote:I'm wondering if the Mr. Munroe has ever tried Durian... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian - I dare, nay,I double dare! :twisted:


Durian tastes awesome, I don't care what anyone says. However, I like durian-flavored products better than durian itself (i.e. durian cakes and durian popsicles). They're less messy.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby TimM » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:06 pm UTC

So here I am joining a forum just so I can speak up for... various... fruit? Could grapefruit vs banana be the next emacs vs vi?

1 - Coconuts: easy - choose one with plenty of milk, drill out 2 or all 3 soft spots and drain/drink the milk. Then lightly toss the nut just over your head letting it drop on concrete. The muffled clop tells you you winged it. After that a few taps with a hammer will chase the crack round the nut and you lever the meat out by sliding a blunt knife round just inside the shell. "Then you have to patch your kernel, yeah, do that a couple times..."

2 - Pomegranates - very variable but when they're right they're right. I suppose Randall's is the Median Pomegranate.

3 - Why are seeded grapes difficult? Are there people who de-seed grapes before eating them?

Have to go. My spider sense says there's a forum somewhere where someone's dissing black coffee.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby CopaceticOpus » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:11 pm UTC

Two quick points:

1. Cherries are off the tasty scale. I've never seen seedless cherries, but if they can be made seedless they would be the perfect fruit.

2. Bananas are way easier to eat than peaches. If you doubt, trying eating one of each while at a computer. With the peach, you're gonna spray the screen with juice on your first bite and then end up with sticky fingers. With the banana, you can eat it with ease, pick it up and set it down at will, and type happily away.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby shadowboy » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:17 pm UTC

Now eating a blueberry muffin. I'd also like to add that blueberries should be way more positive on the y-axis. Blueberries are awesome.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby ndonolli » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:20 pm UTC

Dear Mr. Monroe,

We are no longer friends.

Love,
Me

P.S. With the exception of the offense you caused the grapefruit, I agree with about 94% of the placement of the other fruit.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby dramatic » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:31 pm UTC

CopaceticOpus wrote: Bananas are way easier to eat than peaches. If you doubt, trying eating one of each while at a computer. With the peach, you're gonna spray the screen with juice on your first bite and then end up with sticky fingers. With the banana, you can eat it with ease, pick it up and set it down at will, and type happily away.


I think you've nailed it. Easy/Difficult should be judged on simplicity/hazard of eating it while sitting at a computer (without keyboard protector). :mrgreen:

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Fruit secrets

Postby tgape » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:33 pm UTC

Pomegranates: Get a large bowl, at least three times the size of a pomegranate (within reason, bigger is better). Use a knife, preferably serrated, to score the skin 360 degrees around the poles. Ideally, you're cutting deep enough to get to the seeds, but not cut any of them. (Alternatively, for the less patient, you can just cut it straight through for the first step, although you lose a few seeds like this.) Fill the bowl with warm water, just deep enough to be able to submerge a pomegranate. Break the pomegranate in half. If you're using a smaller bowl, place one half aside; if the bowl is very large, you can let it float in the bowl. Take the other half, and then tear off a piece under water. Keeping the piece under water, gently pry the seeds from the piece of pomegranate pulp. Let the loosed seeds sink to the bottom; don't worry about a little pulp left on one of the seeds. Repeat until you've freed all of the seeds from the pulp. Separate the little pieces of pulp remaining on those seeds that have remaining pulp. Remove the pulp from the water. Strain out the water. You're left with seeds. (Why it works: the pulp floats, the seeds don't.)

Oranges: start at the poles. I personally find it works better for riper oranges, and it works better for juice oranges. A very ripe juice orange, however, may present a different difficulty: I've had a couple lack the structural integrity to keep the sections in one piece as the peel was removed. I was able to halve them, and then separate off the more durable sections, until there were just a few sections left that were too weak to retain their structure through more hand-peeling. I ate those together, like one would unpeeled orange slices (although they were a bit big for that.)

Seeded Grapes: as someone else mentioned, the seeds just make them crunchy. They're high in fiber. (I don't really know that. I'm just being cute. But they haven't hurt me yet.)

Bananas: let them ripen. Yellow bananas are relatively easy to peel. Green bananas are relatively hard to peel.


For what it's worth, pomegranates taste tart to me, with a bit of sweetness. If I recall correctly, my wife finds them to be mostly sweet, with a hint of tart. I've known other people who find them to be bitter, and so I definitely agree with the theory that they taste different to different people.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Ayelis » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:37 pm UTC

Randvek wrote:Is it just me, or has there been a distinct lack of teh funny lately? I'm not entirely sure what is supposed to be amusing about this (or the last several, really).


So, what was it about http://xkcd.com/1/ and/or http://xkcd.com/8/ that had you particularly Rolling On The Floor Laughing? Just curious.

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Unguided » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:40 pm UTC

Walking Dave wrote:I find your lack of dates disturbing.

Dates and coconuts suffer from similar problems:
Coconuts are too far to the left to fit on the graph and dates are too far up on the flavor axis to fit.

Dates are like the candy of fruit, I received a shipment of fruit from my grandmother last month and it contained a whole bag of dates. :mrgreen:

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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby Ari » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:55 pm UTC

Syphon wrote:Fixed, for great justice. Kiwi is now the standard by which all fruit is judged.

Image

There's also a 4th dimensional W axis, with the data for "Name Hilarity" but I could'nt accurately graph on a tesseractic plane in Photoshop. Curiously, many fruit not visible on the normal axis appear there. Such as the boysenberry.


Kiwifruit, you murderer of innocent flightless birds ;)

So we're missing, what? Dates, durians, capsicums, and horned melons?

(seriously, horned melons? What's next, do we add chilli? ;))
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby mrbaggins » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:56 pm UTC

Is Durian also named "Jackfruit"?

Because that thing smells rancid when its opened, but tastes awesome. Gigantic fruit (relative to everything other than watermelon) that has hundreds of little pyramid shaped spikes all over it...

And we're missing carambola's, or "star fruit" as well as dragon fruit, plums and apricots. Cherry tomatoes could be an easier form of normal tomatoes, like seeded/seedless grapes.
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby PhatPhungus » Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:11 pm UTC

Coconuts are actually quite easy to open (assuming you don't care about the milk), the trick is to throw them against a rock, rather than hit them with one.

Also, oranges are hella better than apples.
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Re: "Fuck Grapefruit" Discussion

Postby nilamo » Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:14 pm UTC

Oh man. It's amazing, we just went over these kinds of charts in my management class. On our quiz, I had to make one of these for music.

I love it.


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