0401: "Large Hadron Collider"

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0401: "Large Hadron Collider"

Postby paragon12321 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:13 am UTC

Image

http://xkcd.com/401/

Alt text: When charged particles of more than 5 TeV pass through a bubble chamber, they leave of trail of candy.

I've always wondered what would happen if I was in charge at LHC. Every time it ends with a black hole where the earth was.
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Zak
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Zak » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:14 am UTC

I want to hit a balloon with some highly charged particles :(
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby UmbralRaptor » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:15 am UTC

LHC: because a kilowatt laser isn't enough?
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby william » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:18 am UTC

I get a hadron just thinking about it!
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4=5
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby 4=5 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:18 am UTC

I want to put high explosives in, and see if they will be contained

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Zak » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:18 am UTC

Ze pun, she killz me!
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby foolie » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:21 am UTC

So yeah, there should be a question mark. "Did you see the Higgs Boson?"

I suppose it's a partially subjective matter, but I really don't see how a declarative question is appropriate here.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby ohki » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:25 am UTC

Helicopter cancer... I think you have to fight those in Trauma center.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Tenth Speed Writer » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:26 am UTC

It'll be funny as mess if we learn absolutely jack from the LHC that we don't already know. I mean, sure, it's a leap forward in technology, and we'll be doing more than ever before... but come on. Everyone is expecting some godlike discovery. Higgs boson, what not, maybe we'll even find the magic quark that craps ice cream when you hit it with a particle that has the same spin as a seven year old after a can of red bull.

God.. It's like Star Wars Episode 7 for physics nerds.





William: *Retaliatory Pun Gank*
Last edited by Tenth Speed Writer on Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:30 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Linux0s » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:28 am UTC

Maybe they could make some grilled cheese sandwiches. That's always an appropriate use of technology.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby toujoursfolle » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:29 am UTC

(wow, still on the first page!)

Now they're gonna have to build an even BIGGER collider. And when they still don't find what they're looking for, an even BIGGER collider. And thus the cycle of theoretical particle physics continues.

Nothing against building bigger and better, mind you, as an astronomy student I tend to think the same way. But really, what else can the LHC do? Not much, I say.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Zak » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:29 am UTC

Now i want an LHC that's built around the sun...
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Oort » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:30 am UTC

For the first time, I'm dissapointed. Where's the question mark?

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby CellBlock » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:31 am UTC

I'm a little disappointed that there wasn't a hardon joke in the comic.

I mean, a hardon collision probably isn't something that would be illustrated (as people view the comic at school, work, etc.), but it could at least be mentioned.

Heh heh, hardon.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby malenkylizards » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:34 am UTC

Durr hurr, hadron = hardon durr hurr

My favorite spoonerism ever though has to be Biggs Hoson. To use in sentence:

"Ima get Bigg's hos on."

Durr hurr.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby phlip » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:35 am UTC

Linux0s wrote:Maybe they could make some grilled cheese sandwiches. That's always an appropriate use of technology.

Maybe we could test what happens when a grilled cheese sandwich and a bacon sandwich collide at a significant fraction of the speed of light...

I'm predicting deliciousness. And mess. Delicious mess.

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:37 am UTC

Let's see if we can flash-cook buffalo wings. Alef needs buffalo wings...
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby nightwing2024 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:38 am UTC

Can someone please explain this to me?
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby phlip » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:41 am UTC

nightwing2024 wrote:Can someone please explain this to me?

OK

Disclaimer: PhlipCo Pty Ltd and associates accept no responsibility for any hours of random Wikipedia browsing that occurs after following the above link.

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

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Malbert
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Malbert » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:44 am UTC

Hadrons are a kind of elementary particle. Wikipedia should explain them. Currently in construction is the Large Hadron Collider. When completed, it will cause Hadrons to collide at very high speeds to see what happens.

Ah! ninjas!

Spoiler:
May 2008. World will end.
Last edited by Malbert on Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:45 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby paragon12321 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:44 am UTC

malenkylizards wrote:Durr hurr, hadron = hardon durr hurr


I just realized I've been saying it wrong for all of these years.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby vaderdudenator » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:44 am UTC

phlip wrote:Maybe we could test what happens when a grilled cheese sandwich and a bacon sandwich collide at a significant fraction of the speed of light...

I'm predicting deliciousness. And mess. Delicious mess.


be sure not to add a high speed egg sandwich in there or it might collapse into a singularity of tastiness and destroy the world...
phlip wrote:Maybe we could test what happens when a grilled cheese sandwich and a bacon sandwich collide at a significant fraction of the speed of light...

I'm predicting deliciousness. And mess. Delicious mess.

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Zak
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Zak » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:45 am UTC

"To see what happens" is the best reason for anything, ever.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby pyroman » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:48 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:Now i want an LHC that's built around the sun...

meh if your going to make something that big might as well make a dyson sphere. who needs to study matter when you can blast it into oblivion via a 1000000 terrawatt laser
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby benjhuey » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:50 am UTC

phlip wrote:
nightwing2024 wrote:Can someone please explain this to me?

OK

Spoilered for size:
Spoiler:
Image


"A simulated event in the CMS detector, featuring the appearance of the Higgs boson."

Ladies and gentalmen, making a special, one-time appearance, may I introduce... the Higgs boson!

*Applause*
多么现在棕色母牛?

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby 1800yolk » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:56 am UTC

Damn! Google Reader is SOOO SLOW!

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby nightwing2024 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:59 am UTC

phlip wrote:Disclaimer: PhlipCo Pty Ltd and associates accept no responsibility for any hours of random Wikipedia browsing that occurs after following the above link.


I started from the LHC and ended at Wile E. Coyote.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby rwald » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:05 am UTC

Am I the only one who finds the final punchline less-than-funny? I mean, I like this comic, but giving a helicopter cancer? No amount of "it's only a joke" makes up for the part where helicopters don't have cells which can metastasize, and therefore can't get cancer.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Woaz » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:05 am UTC

Being a person of physics myself, I found this hilarious. :lol:

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby ahecht » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:06 am UTC

Dude, my helicopter died of cancer! Not funny!

(just kidding :wink:)

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby WontonSoup » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:11 am UTC

Yes, I would personally much larger see what happens when two large hardons collide at 0.6c

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby paragon12321 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:19 am UTC

There's a question mark now!

Ask and you shall receive.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby shadow_spork » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:35 am UTC

Why did I read that comic as "Large Hardon Collider" and expected the guy on the left to have something other than his limbs? :?

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby yjester » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:42 am UTC

Of course is less-than-funny, it's cancer and helicopters. Maybe insta-cooked squirrels are a better choice.

And I loved how everything is clearly out-of-scale and sketched. Levers, a laptop on the floor, the small ladders giving access to the sensor... It looks like a pastime project that went wrong, and that's ok. And can somebody explain me how Fermilab can run faster to find God's particle before LHC? It's something like "Ok, mr. physicists, extra shifts for all of you, nobody leaves this room til all these picobytes of data are analyzed!", or what?

shadow_spork wrote:Why did I read that comic as "Large Hardon Collider" and expected the guy on the left to have something other than his limbs? :?

Hardon?

EDIT: would it be funnier with cancer and Fermilab?
Last edited by yjester on Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:34 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Maseiken » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:47 am UTC

If I had collected the data on that collision, and were sending it to the Theorists, I'm not sure I could resist the urge to Rickroll...
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby samadam » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:50 am UTC

Uh, isn't the LHC all below ground, not in a tube above ground as the comic shows?

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Denizen » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:51 am UTC

Seen it in real world. Wasn't really impressed.

I mean, before seeing it, I was really exited... I'm going to see a really big machine, a toy for boys, who've got millions for making toys. It would be really cool.

And then it was just something cold and lifeless... Nothing moved, nothing was expected to move. No sound either... Horrible dissappointment.

Of course we got to see the computer cluster in Cern the same day, which was much more fun (thousands of computers, and they did make a sound.

As for the comic, it would have been much cooler without me actually seeing the machine.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby kjsharke » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:56 am UTC

Tenth Speed Writer wrote:It'll be funny as mess if we learn absolutely jack from the LHC that we don't already know.


But if we find something juicy, we will learn about the juicy things. If we look and there are no juicy things, then we learn about thirst.


Also, some people have worried about this killing everyone. If we pull the trigger and live, then we know that it's OK.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby Lykren » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:17 am UTC

so i heard in nature that they're working on a new method of smashing apart small crap; namely, having the proton stream ride on the wake of a plasma wave. thus, in theory, the same energy as the LHC will be able to get could be accomplished in just a few metres (not yards, i told you it was nature, not Science!)

on a related note, "riding on the plasma wave" would make a strong candidate for the awesomest name for a techno song, ever.

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Re: "Large Hadron Collider" Discussion

Postby malenkylizards » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:21 am UTC

As to why no erection joke was made...

Have you EVER seen a stick figure with a woodie? No. Have you ever seen a shtick figure with tits? No.

Is this a problem that ought to be fixed? Yyyyi'm not sure.

Btw, how is hadron pronounced? Like as in "had Ron discovered the subatomic particles floating in his erection, billions of dollars could've been saved." Or as in "Hey Dron! Look what I found in your penis! Let's put 'em in a collider and see what happens!"

I need sleep.


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