0418: "Stove Ownership"

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby R.K. » Fri May 02, 2008 7:22 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:I've made a point of not learning how to cook bacon for exactly this reason. I already eat too much grilled cheese, and bacon on that... I'd be dead in a month. Unfortunately I fear I'll have to learn eventually... DAMN YOU BACON AND YOUR AWESOMENESS


Microwave bacon is as good as stove bacon, and faster. :)
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby VelociraptorEvader » Fri May 02, 2008 7:28 am UTC

Haha hilarious. Mmm bacon. Damn out of bacon. Time to get more.
Bacon is always good. 'A slice of bacon a day keeps the doctor away'. I wonder why my chest hurts.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby markfiend » Fri May 02, 2008 8:01 am UTC

I believe that in UK English, what USAians refer to as 'frosting' is usually called butter cream. What we call 'icing' is just made from icing sugar and water, and sets hard. (Royal Icing has eggwhite added.)

My student years, it was pizzas rather than bacon.

And beer.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby 4x4lo8o » Fri May 02, 2008 8:12 am UTC

I don't like bacon

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby tryptanymph » Fri May 02, 2008 8:57 am UTC

Bacon. The Man Thread's one and only vice. And masturbation.

I think I want... a bacon burger. But not an ordinary bacon burger. A bacon burger with a fried egg on top. And some scrambled egg. And a sausage burger. And bacon. And some orange juice. With bacon in it.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Fri May 02, 2008 10:08 am UTC

I love this comic. It's so damn true. I made this discovery years ago when I first started living on my own. I remember one day sitting in my living room, watching TV, when I had the strong urge for something chocolate. Mainly, brownies. With ice cream. And chocolate syrup. That's when I realized "Holy Shit. I'm grown up now. I'm on my own. I want some damn brownies. I'll go to the fucking store and get a box of brownie mix." And so I did.

Did I cut the brownies up into small, reasonable portions? HELL NO. I baked them in a 8" x 8" pan and cut them into four large brownies. Yes, I did buy ice cream. Mayfield Moose Tracks, to be exact. Has little peanut butter cups and huge chunks of chocolate swirled in with vanilla ice cream. FUCK YES. Top it off with chocolate syrup and you'll be buzzing for a good while.

Unfortunately now that I'm living with my parents again I don't have that freedom. I can go to the store and buy some brownies from their deli/bakery. They're almost as good.

As for the bacon, I made that realization too. I realized that I could fry the bacon, set it aside, make up some gravy, crush the bacon up and mix it in, and serve it over some biscuits. And have it for supper.

sleepygamer wrote:I think I want... a bacon burger. But not an ordinary bacon burger. A bacon burger with a fried egg on top. And some scrambled egg. And a sausage burger. And bacon. And some orange juice. With bacon in it.


And smothered in gravy, with crushed-up bacon in it.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby the tree » Fri May 02, 2008 10:17 am UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:Unfortunately now that I'm living with my parents again I don't have that freedom. I can go to the store and buy some brownies from their deli/bakery. They're almost as good.
You can still make brownies, you will just be obliged to give a certain portion of them to your parents.

Oddly enough, I am loosing weight despite being a fresher, meh.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Steroid » Fri May 02, 2008 10:27 am UTC

Beware: if you get a dishwasher, the curve turns into a parabola.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Mmmm, Pi » Fri May 02, 2008 10:28 am UTC

the tree wrote:Oddly enough, I am loosing weight despite being a fresher, meh.

Same here. It was cool, until I went back home for Christmas and Easter and then managed to put most of it back on again. I think the main reason is that if I want food here, not only do I have to pay for it, I also have to walk to where I can get it from.

Back on topic, I really will have to get some bacon when I next go to the supermarket. I've not had any since I went back home for Easter.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby ellecee » Fri May 02, 2008 10:36 am UTC

For me it was pots of macaroni and cheese.

markfiend wrote:I believe that in UK English, what USAians refer to as 'frosting' is usually called butter cream.


Did anyone else read that as USAsians? :lol:

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Jekka_Lynn » Fri May 02, 2008 11:34 am UTC

Lol, I still live at home but I've figured out that I can buy my own awsome snacks and just keep them at work so my family doesn't eat them....YAY!!! For work fridges!!!!
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Fri May 02, 2008 11:57 am UTC

R.K. wrote:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:I've made a point of not learning how to cook bacon for exactly this reason. I already eat too much grilled cheese, and bacon on that... I'd be dead in a month. Unfortunately I fear I'll have to learn eventually... DAMN YOU BACON AND YOUR AWESOMENESS


Microwave bacon is as good as stove bacon, and faster. :)


LIES! ALL LIES! Microwave bacon FTL. Besides, with microwave bacon you don't have the grease with which to make delicious bacon-flavored gravy, with bacon, which you can dip your bacon in, like you would cheese for nachos.

Jekka_Lynn wrote:Lol, I still live at home but I've figured out that I can buy my own awsome snacks and just keep them at work so my family doesn't eat them....YAY!!! For work fridges!!!!


Unless you have someone at work who has a tendency to eat other people's lunches. We had a guy who did that at the main office once before. I replaced him back in 2002, and I never did that. Because of him, they had put up signs on the fridges (they have three) that said to not eat any lunches other than your own.

I have my own fridge upstairs in my room. It's a small dorm fridge that my parents bought at Home Depot for I think about $75. It has a small shelf in the door, and a rack for canned drinks. It can only hold five or six at a time though. It also has a small freezer, which I can store about 20 Michelina's frozen dinners in...if I wanted to. Right now all I have in there is a couple of bottles of Mountain Dew left over from my ghost hunting trip two weeks ago, a few cups of applesauce (need to toss those out), and a bowl of lasagna up in the freezer.

RE: losing weight. I had lost a bit of weight living on my own. I think it was because half the time when I'd get home from work I didn't feel like cooking, and by the time I'd finally figure out what I'd want for supper, it was a tad too late to really consider eating anything (read: close to bedtime). The fact that I had what could possibly be described as one of the most horrible kitchens in the world didn't help much, nor did living behind a BBQ restaurant, and less than a tenth of a mile down the road from a Jack's.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby LittleChrist » Fri May 02, 2008 11:59 am UTC

Is it just me or would this comic hit home more if the line on the graph looked more like a strip of bacon rather than a red line.

Microwaved bacon=ewwww.
The only true way to eat bacon is in its original hand cooked form.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby TheKhakinator » Fri May 02, 2008 12:05 pm UTC

I was around when the man thread started... and the first thing I thought when I read this was "delicious, oily fan service!"

VelociraptorEvader wrote:Haha hilarious. Mmm bacon. Damn out of bacon. Time to get more.
Bacon is always good. 'A slice of bacon a day keeps the doctor away'. I wonder why my chest hurts.

The doctor's keeping away because he's trying to avoid your arteries which are probably about to explode. But WHO CARES, bacon!

And as for realising awesomeness - on a roadtrip with friends, we realised we'd brought too much food, mostly too much sweet stuff (we had a lot of bacon, but too much bacon is never enough). We'd also bought cream for scones, even though we had ONE scone each (we went and got visitor's passes to our old school, and took our own ingredients, and told the teacher there we'd just be using an oven, not mentioning we weren't students there (We were in casual clothes, WTF!). They kicked us out halfway through making the scones. Wait, they were pikelets. Anyway, we had cream for them. So we had tons of excess cream. I'm like "OK guys, we have a lot of food and a lot of cream. Cream will be added to everything. Fruit cake, bacon, sausages, muffins, everything." Rocked.)

I also add cream to chocolate butternut biscuits. Sometimes jam too. OH YES.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Stockton da Vinci » Fri May 02, 2008 12:11 pm UTC

Bacon is good, but at my uni i have no access to frying pans or ovens, hence my bacon needs are going unfulfilled. I have have since managed to compensate for this by combining lollies and jelly crystals with nutella, or sometimes just glazed cherries. Deliciously diabetic.
By the way... Mi Goreng FTW. 45c for the best packet noodles in existence.

Still miss compulsive bacon though. *sigh*
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby cyberia » Fri May 02, 2008 12:17 pm UTC

Having read this thread I feel seriously compelled to go to 7-11 and buy bacon to have as a midnight snack.

My biggest 'living by myself' indulgence is normally nachos or getting a pizza with whatever weird combination of ingredients I want (anchovies, mushrooms and pineapple, anyone?) and eating the whole thing.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Linux0s » Fri May 02, 2008 12:27 pm UTC

Obesity-Oschmeesity!
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby DragonHawk » Fri May 02, 2008 12:44 pm UTC

I have this problem with ice cream. (Frying bacon is too much work for me. You must realize, I could burn water.) But I can go down the street to the Store 24 and buy a pint of Breyers Reeses peanut butter cup ice cream whenever I want. And eat the whole thing in one sitting. And eat it right out of the package. And no one can stop me. Moohoowaahhahaha!

I think I just heard my health insurance premiums going up.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby LarrySDonald » Fri May 02, 2008 12:51 pm UTC

My bacon craze hit with microwave bacon. Not as good as fried, but I'm too lazy to fry it. Microwave bacon trays shoved the reward/effort ratio high enough to work. I also noticed I could buy some marzipanish stuff in two pound blocks for almost nothing.

I was also mostly losing weight. Irregularity and lack of actual nutrition does that despite high calorie values, at the price of every other health function I guess - I never put on weight until I lived in a more stable situation.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Cytoplasm » Fri May 02, 2008 1:00 pm UTC

I get yelled at if I make bacon for breakfast more than once a week (so bacon doesn't happen often with me).


The ground-bacon burger..sounds so unnecessarily unhealthy. I think it should be banned for the sake of everyone's health (even if it sounds like a way to recycle ground bacon...ew).
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby TheKhakinator » Fri May 02, 2008 1:14 pm UTC

Yeah I get people saying "You'll die!". They often recieve a jovial "I'll die happily!" as a reply.

Also, when I said fan service, I didn't really mean this. I'm sure Randall is just as big a bacon fan as the rest of us.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby bingosherlock77 » Fri May 02, 2008 1:37 pm UTC

Cans of frosting are best enjoyed with a box of Nilla Wafers.

My friends and I have always had an odd addiction to burritos, to the point that we throw parties just to make burritos.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby phaiakia » Fri May 02, 2008 2:03 pm UTC

Tom wrote:For the record, for some reason the alt text was changed from
Although maybe it's just a phase, like freshman year of college when I realized I could just buy frosting in a can.
to
Maybe it'll just be a phase, like freshman year of college when I realized I could just BUY cans of frosting.
Interesting?


Perhaps Randall is as anal-retentive about editing as I am (and presumably many others on these fora are, too). I think the second way reads more cleanly.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby cyberia » Fri May 02, 2008 2:15 pm UTC

Well, I went to 7-11 and bought bacon, came home, cooked it and ate it.

And it was delicious :D

Although it's the first time I've eaten bacon in about six months :(
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby VelociraptorEvader » Fri May 02, 2008 2:30 pm UTC

Cytoplasm wrote:I get yelled at if I make bacon for breakfast more than once a week (so bacon doesn't happen often with me).


They be Nazi's you live with. Free the bacon eater from this almighty oppression.

I read somewhere that 100% of people that eat bacon once a week or less, die.... Well eventually they do. But probably quite a while after the people who indulge in bacon more than once a week have succumbed to massive heart attacks.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby EdgarJPublius » Fri May 02, 2008 2:52 pm UTC

What's with all these people saying 'oh it's too hard to fry up some bacon!'? haw is that even possible.

I mean, without even going into the fact that massive amount of effort would still be worth it for a reward of bacon, cooking bacon is like a 7 step process:

1. Turn on stove
2. Put pan on stove
3. Put bacon in pan
4. wait until done
5. Wait until bacon is cool, then eat
6. ???
7. Profit!

the whole process takes less than half an hour. And at the end, you have bacon.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby The Tagger » Fri May 02, 2008 2:57 pm UTC

R.K. wrote:
Microwave bacon is as good as stove bacon, and faster. :)



Don't listen to this wackaloon. Microwaving bacon is a travesty, and a sham, and a mockery. Its a travashamockery.

By the way, for those health nuts out there, I have found that Turkey Bacon, fried on the stove like regular bacon, tastes just as good but with like half the bad stuff. I would probably have pure saturated fat running through my arteries right now had I not discovered it.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby The Tagger » Fri May 02, 2008 3:01 pm UTC

EdgarJPublius wrote:5. Wait until bacon is cool, then eat
6. ???
7. Profit!



I have spent my 28 years on this earth trying to figure out Step 6. Alas, the great bacon mystery remains.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby prozacgod » Fri May 02, 2008 3:21 pm UTC

I wish to offer up some of my bachelor genius.

1 5-cup coffee maker, fill pot with water to between 2 and 3 cups
pour water in back.

Place dried Ramon noodles into coffee pot. Open flavor packet place in small pile right in middle of the ramon (where the water drips)

Turn on percolation, return when you hear the finale.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Alsadius » Fri May 02, 2008 3:49 pm UTC

Reminds me of a comic I saw once about the guy who realized he could buy trophies saying whatever he wanted at the trophy/engraving store. Of course, bacon is at least 200% more awesome.

As for living-by-myself indulgences, I really don't have too many bad ones. Playing my music at excessive volume and eating whenever I feel like it are about the only ones I can think of in particular. Plenty of occasional ones, of course, but nothing really pops out.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby dharmamama » Fri May 02, 2008 3:53 pm UTC

Just recently saw this in the store - is there anyone who would bother with putting it in a crust? Maybe for company.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Sandals » Fri May 02, 2008 4:13 pm UTC

see, with me it's the cleaning up after bacon that limits my bacon intake to a healthy level. although sausages take almost as long, but i still have them more often than i should....

and i've lost a lot of weight since i've lived on my own, but that's through laziness. i just can't be arsed with cooking!!!
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Strilanc » Fri May 02, 2008 4:30 pm UTC

You can microwave bacon in far less time than it takes to cook it on a stove.

*edit* damnit, someone mentioned it already.
Last edited by Strilanc on Fri May 02, 2008 4:58 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby _sandswipe_ » Fri May 02, 2008 4:43 pm UTC

Reminds me of the band therapy episode of Metalocalypse, where the crazed therapist gives the band members stickers for making breakthroughs.

Dr Twinkletits: You can't fire me! Where are you going to get your banana stickers?!!
Nathan kicks open a chest full of banana stickers
Nathan: Yeah it turns out you can just buy moral redemption.



Right, time to go make some bacon pizza. Mmmm, deadly grease.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby asanisimasa » Fri May 02, 2008 5:16 pm UTC

I have a confession to make: I don't really like bacon. I like ham and stuff, but not bacon. My girlfriend loves bacon, but I can only eat it occasionally. Is there something wrong with me?

Frosting in a can, whipped cream, cookie dough: all are made of pure delicious awesomeness.

Lately I've been melting chocolate a lot and dipping everything in it.

EDIT: ...I wonder how bacon dipped in chocolate would taste? Or frosted bacon?
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby william » Fri May 02, 2008 5:35 pm UTC

asanisimasa wrote:I have a confession to make: I don't really like bacon. I like ham and stuff, but not bacon. My girlfriend loves bacon, but I can only eat it occasionally. Is there something wrong with me?

Yes.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby FearoftheDomo-Kun » Fri May 02, 2008 5:37 pm UTC

asanisimasa wrote:EDIT: ...I wonder how bacon dipped in chocolate would taste?


I havn't had them myself, but i think i recall a topic regarding these in the food forum. Apparently not half-bad!
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby phaiakia » Fri May 02, 2008 5:39 pm UTC

Almost forgot about this... I heard about this alarm clock on the radio a while ago:

http://www.mathlete.com/portfolio/wakeNbacon.php

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Linux0s » Fri May 02, 2008 5:41 pm UTC

Ironically this morning Digg.com has a link to a (albeit brief) article on bacon vodka:

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/enterta ... vodka.html
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby DragonHawk » Fri May 02, 2008 5:44 pm UTC

EdgarJPublius wrote:massive amount of effort would still be worth it for a reward of bacon,

Not for me. I just don't like bacon all that much. Sorry.

Now, fresh sausages... that might be motivation. But that still requires at least basic skills, and I'm missing the culinary gene, or something like that.
1. Turn on stove

See, like, right there, you lost me.

Seriously. I turned the power off to my stove over a year ago, when I spilled some water on it and didn't want a 220 volt, 80 amp short-circuit. I haven't turned it back on since.
2. Put pan on stove

I don't own any pans. Well, that don't go in the microwave.
3. Put bacon in pan

I could probably manage that, but don't you have to put butter in the pan, or turn the bacon over or move it around or something?

And you have to clean the pan after (or before, depending on POV, and how long you can put up with a dirty pan sitting in the sink). From what I've seen, cleaning a bacon pan is rather more than an automatic dishwasher can handle. Certainly more than mine can handle, which has trouble rinsing the soap off.
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