0418: "Stove Ownership"

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby aleflamedyud » Fri May 02, 2008 5:58 pm UTC

nahtanoj999 wrote:The flesh of the swine is unclean.

I *KNOW*!

...

That's why they sell beef bacon. So us "clean" folks can get our sin of gluttony on. And jerky. Delicious jerky...

Also, Randall, you really shouldn't do that with frosting... It's best when you make it from butter/cream/cream-cheese yourself. Also, don't make it a staple of your diet, however yum it may be.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Popidge » Fri May 02, 2008 6:14 pm UTC

The Tagger wrote:
EdgarJPublius wrote:5. Wait until bacon is cool, then eat
6. ???
7. Profit!



I have spent my 28 years on this earth trying to figure out Step 6. Alas, the great bacon mystery remains.


6. Goto 1

*Is eaten by Velociraptor*


Do Raptors like Bacon? Is this why Randall is afraid of them? Eating his Bacon?
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby sophomore » Fri May 02, 2008 6:24 pm UTC

If the grease is not desired for another task, bacon can also successfully be cooked on a grill. Certain George Foreman grills work, but for maximum effect, an out-door grill with at least a 2-package capacity is best.

bingosherlock77 wrote:Cans of frosting are best enjoyed with a box of Nilla Wafers.


Graham cracker-frosting sandwiches always went over better with me. Certain flavors just don't quite mesh with Nilla Wafers. Graham crackers go well with anything sweet.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby tryptanymph » Fri May 02, 2008 6:28 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:I think I want... a bacon burger. But not an ordinary bacon burger. A bacon burger with a fried egg on top. And some scrambled egg. And a sausage burger. And bacon. And some orange juice. With bacon in it.


And smothered in gravy, with crushed-up bacon in it.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Kalos » Fri May 02, 2008 6:34 pm UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
synthgene wrote:Frosting in a pressurized can is one of humankind's greatest inventions, if you hook a can up to an aquarium air hose you can eat it on the go. Everything should come in a pressurized can.
Like bacon!

http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/85

Holy crap... this comic just made me realize that I can make myself bacon whenever I want. Damn you XKCD!

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Awia » Fri May 02, 2008 6:45 pm UTC

I give you the worlds tastiest snack food, Bacon Popcorn!
All the tastiness of bacon, with the added corn of popcorn!

http://nosheteria.com/2007/02/snacking-thy-name-is-decadence.html
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Mikeski » Fri May 02, 2008 6:47 pm UTC

FearoftheDomo-Kun wrote:
asanisimasa wrote:EDIT: ...I wonder how bacon dipped in chocolate would taste?


I havn't had them myself, but i think i recall a topic regarding these in the food forum. Apparently not half-bad!


I refuse to believe it.

The world contains two types of food:
1) food that is improved by adding bacon
2) food that is improved by adding chocolate

Obviously, bacon itself is a type 1 food, and chocolate is type 2. Thus, a chocolate bar with bacon defies a fundamental law of the universe, and cannot be good.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby dabigkid » Fri May 02, 2008 6:54 pm UTC

Bacon-wrapped hot dogs <3
wut

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Mmmm, Pi » Fri May 02, 2008 6:59 pm UTC

Mhmmm, now I'm wondering what somehow bacon flavoured beer would be like. I don't think it would be too good at first thought.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby madcreator » Fri May 02, 2008 6:59 pm UTC

_sandswipe_ wrote:Right, time to go make some bacon pizza. Mmmm, deadly grease.


Wait, is that allowed?

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Mmmm, Pi » Fri May 02, 2008 7:11 pm UTC

Yes, and it's a good idea as well. Very tasty.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby EdgarJPublius » Fri May 02, 2008 7:20 pm UTC

DragonHawk wrote:
EdgarJPublius wrote:massive amount of effort would still be worth it for a reward of bacon,

Not for me. I just don't like bacon all that much. Sorry.

Now, fresh sausages... that might be motivation. But that still requires at least basic skills, and I'm missing the culinary gene, or something like that.
1. Turn on stove

See, like, right there, you lost me.

Seriously. I turned the power off to my stove over a year ago, when I spilled some water on it and didn't want a 220 volt, 80 amp short-circuit. I haven't turned it back on since.
electric stove tops are generally resistant to short circuiting, and even if yours somehow is not, thun it is probably safe to plug it back in by now
2. Put pan on stove

I don't own any pans. Well, that don't go in the microwave.
then buy one
3. Put bacon in pan

I could probably manage that, but don't you have to put butter in the pan, or turn the bacon over or move it around or something?
The natural grease of the bacon keeps it from sticking to the pan. And while flipping your bacon once or twice during the cooking process can result in tastier, more evenly cooked bacon, non-flipped bacon is still delicious and safe to eat

And you have to clean the pan after (or before, depending on POV, and how long you can put up with a dirty pan sitting in the sink). From what I've seen, cleaning a bacon pan is rather more than an automatic dishwasher can handle. Certainly more than mine can handle, which has trouble rinsing the soap off.

Cleaning a bacon pan isn't hard, or strictly necessary, since most of what's left in the pan after the bacon is removed is grease, acting quickly to rinse the pan out will prevent most messes, however, the only consequence of not cleaning a bacon-pan is that anything you cook with that pan subsequent to cooking bacon, will taste like bacon. This is more like a plus than a minus.

If for some reason you don't want future pan-cooked meals to taste like bacon, and have trouble cleaning the pan before the grease has congealed and worked it's way deliciously into the pans surface, you can eliminate the need for a clean-up by the simple expedient of covering the pan with aluminum foil before placing the bacon on it, that way, clean up simply consist of removing the foil and throwing it away.

:D
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby TexasDex » Fri May 02, 2008 7:23 pm UTC

Upon entering college, I discovered that I could buy twenty pounds of Gummi Bears online. My teeth shall never be the same.

http://www.bulkfoods.com/search_results ... amTxt=2463

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby R.K. » Fri May 02, 2008 7:28 pm UTC

DragonHawk wrote:
3. Put bacon in pan

I could probably manage that, but don't you have to put butter in the pan, or turn the bacon over or move it around or something?


All you need is bacon and a well heated pan. It has enough fat to fry itself. The only moving of bacon needed is flipping it over when the first side is cooked, and taking it out once the other side is.

DragonHawk wrote:And you have to clean the pan after (or before, depending on POV, and how long you can put up with a dirty pan sitting in the sink). From what I've seen, cleaning a bacon pan is rather more than an automatic dishwasher can handle. Certainly more than mine can handle, which has trouble rinsing the soap off.


Don't clean the pan, then. Stick it in the freezer or something. Use it for all your bacon. Mmm, grease.
[citation needed]

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby coldsteelrail » Fri May 02, 2008 7:33 pm UTC

It sucks that this comes up just when I decide to go on a regime! Umm,,, bacon!

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby SuprousOxide » Fri May 02, 2008 7:44 pm UTC

I like bacon on a bacon cheeseburger, or in a BLT, but I don't like just eating bacon by itself. Or as a side with eggs. So I don't keep any bacon in the house, usually.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby musicmunky » Fri May 02, 2008 7:59 pm UTC

It's like the time I was making waffles and (obivously) was cooking bacon as well. I ran into a problem though - I had a pound of bacon, and once opened, I didn't want my roommates stealing any and cooking it themselves. My solution? Cooked and ate the whole damn pound. Pure Bacon Ecstasy.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby JET73L » Fri May 02, 2008 10:59 pm UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:I've made a point of not learning how to cook bacon for exactly this reason. I already eat too much grilled cheese, and bacon on that... I'd be dead in a month. Unfortunately I fear I'll have to learn eventually... DAMN YOU BACON AND YOUR AWESOMENESS

synthgene wrote:Frosting in a pressurized can is one of humankind's greatest inventions, if you hook a can up to an aquarium air hose you can eat it on the go. Everything should come in a pressurized can.
Like bacon!

You beat me to the pressureised bacon comnment by two full pages. And that was the same reason I never use the nonstick pan for bacon, otherwise I could cook bacon more often than I wash the bacon pan.

asanisimasa wrote:EDIT: ...I wonder how bacon dipped in chocolate would taste? Or frosted bacon?

I've tried the latter. It's AWESOME.

Aleflamedyud wrote:And jerky. Delicious jerky...

Frosted beef jerkey is even better, it's more solid so you can scoop more frosting than with bacon.

Mikesi wrote:-Obviously, bacon itself is a type 1 food, and chocolate is type 2. Thus, a chocolate bar with bacon defies a fundamental law of the universe, and cannot be good.

It would be like a bacony payday candy bar, the salty pork fat of the bacon accenting the sweetened cocoabutter fat of the chocolate. You don;t know your junkfood chemistry.

Also, at the anti-microwave bacon people, I like this one brand of microwave bacon, under the express condition that it ischilled when eaten. That way, it is still crispy and chewy, without being rubbery. If any preprepared bacon is microwaved, it just becomes awful.

Our arteries are going to hell, after we all die of sugar overdose.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby XilDarkz » Fri May 02, 2008 11:45 pm UTC

sleepygamer wrote:
PatrickRsGhost wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:I think I want... a bacon burger. But not an ordinary bacon burger. A bacon burger with a fried egg on top. And some scrambled egg. And a sausage burger. And bacon. And some orange juice. With bacon in it.


And smothered in gravy, with crushed-up bacon in it.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby EdwardW » Fri May 02, 2008 11:55 pm UTC

Bacon.

Yummy by itself, but has anyone tried Bacon dipped with Cheese? (Yes, they are proper nouns, due to their significance in my life.)

Edit:

Mashed potatoes + Crushed up bacon = Amazing.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat May 03, 2008 1:20 am UTC

Steroid wrote:Beware: if you get a dishwasher, the curve turns into a parabola.
Unless the cost of a dishwasher affects how much bacon you can afford. Hmm.

ellecee wrote:
markfiend wrote:I believe that in UK English, what USAians refer to as 'frosting' is usually called butter cream.


Did anyone else read that as USAsians? :lol:
Yep. I was hoping I wasn't the only one.

dabigkid wrote:Bacon-wrapped hot dogs <3
Don't forget to butter the bacon first. ("Dad, my heart hurts...")
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Megatriorchis » Sat May 03, 2008 1:57 am UTC

How does one live without a stove? I think I would die without a weekly supply of brownies and a full homemade breakfast on Sunday.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby TheKhakinator » Sat May 03, 2008 2:06 am UTC

The Tagger wrote:By the way, for those health nuts out there, I have found that Turkey Bacon, fried on the stove like regular bacon, tastes just as good but with like half the bad stuff. I would probably have pure saturated fat running through my arteries right now had I not discovered it.

Turkey bacon? TURKEY BACON? That's like travelling on an AIR SHIP. Well... air ships rock... uh... it's more like... I don't care. I don't like turkey bacon.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Jekka_Lynn » Sat May 03, 2008 2:34 am UTC

JET73L wrote: Our arteries are going to hell, after we all die of sugar overdose.


Lol, I am 19 and have just now started to show some sign of getting diabeties. The signs i'm showing point towards type 2 diabetes the same type my dad just got diagnosed with. So I was talking to my Future-Mom-In-Law about it and she was like you get that when your old because you overdose on sugar then crash to maney times. It's like impossible for someone your age to get it. My fiance who has long since resigned himself to my sugar addiction looked at his mom and just started laughing. I have long since realized that I am goign to get diabetes and have dedicated myself to eating as much sugar as possible while I still can.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby R.K. » Sat May 03, 2008 3:11 am UTC

Jekka_Lynn wrote:Lol, I am 19 and have just now started to show some sign of getting diabeties. The signs i'm showing point towards type 2 diabetes the same type my dad just got diagnosed with. So I was talking to my Future-Mom-In-Law about it and she was like you get that when your old because you overdose on sugar then crash to maney times. It's like impossible for someone your age to get it. My fiance who has long since resigned himself to my sugar addiction looked at his mom and just started laughing. I have long since realized that I am goign to get diabetes and have dedicated myself to eating as much sugar as possible while I still can.


Diabetes is a terrible, destructive disease that kills roughly a million people worldwide per year, slightly fewer than car crashes. It leads to obesity, nerve damage, and ultimately tissue death in the extremities. Type 2 diabetes is preventable. You should talk to a doctor.
[citation needed]

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Senefen » Sat May 03, 2008 4:26 am UTC

Was the same day I realised frozen chips, when heated become hot chips. Also one bag contains a lot.
(Americans replace chips with fries)
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby shpoffo » Sat May 03, 2008 5:29 am UTC

This same bacon situation happened for me when I realized that I could make mochas at home, and that they were not the result of a magical physic only operational within the walls of a coffee shop

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby nightwing2024 » Sat May 03, 2008 6:10 am UTC

Mikeski wrote:
FearoftheDomo-Kun wrote:
asanisimasa wrote:EDIT: ...I wonder how bacon dipped in chocolate would taste?


I havn't had them myself, but i think i recall a topic regarding these in the food forum. Apparently not half-bad!


I refuse to believe it.

The world contains two types of food:
1) food that is improved by adding bacon
2) food that is improved by adding chocolate

Obviously, bacon itself is a type 1 food, and chocolate is type 2. Thus, a chocolate bar with bacon defies a fundamental law of the universe, and cannot be good.


WRONG

I've made Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies before.

They are better than sex with *insert your heartthrob here*

EdwardW wrote:Bacon.

Yummy by itself, but has anyone tried Bacon dipped with Cheese? (Yes, they are proper nouns, due to their significance in my life.)

Edit:

Mashed potatoes + Crushed up bacon = Amazing.


Bacon Cheese Fries.

One of the Holy Trinity of Bacon foods.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby timoDM » Sat May 03, 2008 6:13 am UTC

Something like this happened for me when I realized I could buy alcohol at the store... without there being any kind of special occasion. Weirdly, this realization didn't come until I was 22-almost-23. I had drank in bars before that (and drank in college dorm rooms before that), but for some reason the idea of buying liquor at the store struck long after I reached the age of majority.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Babam » Sat May 03, 2008 6:21 am UTC

I have an epic story to tell, the epic ballad of the bacon waffle.
Later tommorow when Im not on my PSP, and I can give it due credit.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Stickfodder » Sat May 03, 2008 7:35 am UTC

The Tagger wrote:
R.K. wrote:
Microwave bacon is as good as stove bacon, and faster. :)



Don't listen to this wackaloon. Microwaving bacon is a travesty, and a sham, and a mockery. Its a travashamockery.

By the way, for those health nuts out there, I have found that Turkey Bacon, fried on the stove like regular bacon, tastes just as good but with like half the bad stuff. I would probably have pure saturated fat running through my arteries right now had I not discovered it.


I ate turkey bacon for years thinking the exact same thing but than i had real bacon again the thick slice kind and the turkey bacon doesn't even come close to its true bacony goodness so i feel bad for you.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby mightymouse1584 » Sat May 03, 2008 7:50 am UTC

for me this graph corresponds much more closely to the day i started drinking. =\

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby evilpenguinlord » Sat May 03, 2008 9:39 am UTC

nightwing2024 wrote:WRONG

I've made Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies before.

They are better than sex with *insert your heartthrob here*



For those of you who are curious

http://neverbashfulwithbutter.blogspot.com/2007/12/experiments-in-deliciousness-bacon.html

I just made them following the recipe and they were awesome. Even people who were skeptical but tried them agreed.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Yellow Onion » Sat May 03, 2008 11:49 am UTC

This reminds me of moving in to my flat, we had a 24hour supermarket and Fish and Chips shop down the road, for about a week we had fish and chips for tea, and also had cook ups at odd times of the night eg 4am

bacon and whipped cream is awesome, actually bacon, whipped cream ,jam and pack cakes in various combonations is interesting

and at certain fish and chip shops here (New Zealand) you can buy deep fried, Battered Mars bars(or Moro Bars).

Deep fried Mars bar wrapped in bacon covered in Whipped Cream, sounds goooood

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby The Tagger » Sat May 03, 2008 1:00 pm UTC

Stickfodder wrote:
I ate turkey bacon for years thinking the exact same thing but than i had real bacon again the thick slice kind and the turkey bacon doesn't even come close to its true bacony goodness so i feel bad for you.



You're probably right. But I'm afraid to go back to the real stuff, because I'd eat so much I'd probably just turn into a giant piece of bacon.

...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, giant piece of bacon... (droooooooooooooool)

Pardon me, I have to go to the grocery store.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby TheKhakinator » Sat May 03, 2008 1:09 pm UTC

nightwing2024 wrote:I've made Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies before.

They are better than sex with *insert your heartthrob here*


WARNING: TASTE COOKIES BEFORE DUMPING YOUR HEARTTHROB SO YOU HAVE MORE MONEY FOR THESE COOKIES. YOU MAY BE DISAPPOINTED.

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat May 03, 2008 2:27 pm UTC

nightwing2024 wrote:I've made Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies before.

They are better than sex with *insert your heartthrob here*
...S...She cheated on me!? :cry:

Oh well, bacon.
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby Cytoplasm » Sat May 03, 2008 2:49 pm UTC

VelociraptorEvader wrote:
They be Nazi's you live with. Free the bacon eater from this almighty oppression.

I read somewhere that 100% of people that eat bacon once a week or less, die.... Well eventually they do. But probably quite a while after the people who indulge in bacon more than once a week have succumbed to massive heart attacks.



EEGADS! I need to eat some bacon; I still have too much to discover to die this soon!
Although I do think cardiac arrest runs in my family. I will have to balance my bacon eatings.
And yes, the Nazi I live with (who one happens to be half German. o.o) will not allow the eating of bacon often...
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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby TheManWith2Legs » Sat May 03, 2008 7:21 pm UTC

I don't know... I just hate this comic. I think it is the worst XKCD comic ever! It uses wrong stereotypes (everything tasting good is bad) and conspiracy theories (food having a huge impact on our health).

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Re: "Stove Ownership" Discussion

Postby R.K. » Sat May 03, 2008 10:37 pm UTC

TheManWith2Legs wrote:I don't know... I just hate this comic. I think it is the worst XKCD comic ever! It uses wrong stereotypes (everything tasting good is bad) and conspiracy theories (food having a huge impact on our health).


It doesn't imply everything that tastes good is bad, only that bacon is unhealthful in large amounts (which it is). Also, food does have a huge impact on health. At the macronutrient level, the body:

  • preferentially stores lipids as a reserve against future energy requirements
  • converts carbohydrates to glucose for immediate energy needs, storing the surplus as glycogen and as lipids if necessary
  • synthesizes proteins and glucose from amino acids, as needed

These three nutrients are necessary for life. Certain lipids and amino acids cannot be produced by the body, and must come from food. The brain can obtain energy only from sugars and ketone bodies (which are toxic, but must be produced from fatty acids during starvation). It should be obvious that any one of these may negatively impact health if consumed in excessive or insufficient amounts. Notably:

  • lipid excess leads to obesity, arterial plaque, and cardiovascular diseases (the leading cause of death by far)
  • lipid deficiency restricts the body's ability to absorb fat-soluble vitamins
  • excess sugar also leads to obesity, and can directly damage nearly the entire body, promoting diabetes and cancer
  • sugar deficiency leads to coma and death
  • amino acid excess can cause liver or kidney disease, due to the production of urea
  • amino acid deficiency forces the body to break down muscle tissue and leads to severe illnesses
  • diets high in fat and fructose have been shown to be especially harmful to the liver, most famously in the documentary Super Size Me, which preceded a study by the Saint Louis University School of Medicine

There are additionally a wide variety of nutrients eaten in lesser amounts, of varying importance. One of the most important is vitamin C, which in deficiency leads to scurvy, a fatal disease.

Bacon is unhealthful because, although it is an excellent source of protein, it provides large amounts of fat, cholesterol (increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease), and sodium (promoting dehydration and high blood pressure). Cured meat also increases the risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
[citation needed]


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