0421: "Making Hash Browns"

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby VelociraptorEvader » Fri May 09, 2008 6:51 am UTC

Mmmm hash browns.... or more correct mmm flaming potato shreds.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby gormster » Fri May 09, 2008 6:55 am UTC

Random832 wrote:
glasnt wrote:Hashbrowns in australia are not the same as your fried potato squish :(

We totally have pressed hashbrown thingies.

America: http://jugalbandi.info/wp-content/uploa ... 8-copy.jpg

Those are real hash browns.

Those are McDonald's hash browns.


Arg! It is called a difference in terminology, people. Local variants, etc.

Also, I have had your Grated Potato Bullshit and it is disgusting.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby ImpossiblyMadHatter » Fri May 09, 2008 7:04 am UTC

It seems quite obvious to me here that nobody has ever hit anything with an object covered in flaming gasoline...

The drawing is totally valid for these two reasons:
1)The friction from the racquet would, in short, pull the potato forward. The resulting horizontal motion wouldn't be enough to throw the shoe-stringed taters far, but by adjusting the thickness of the racquet wire and force of hit you could (theoretically) donate enough kinetic energy for the potato to get it to its target.

2)By covering the racquet with liquid gasoline, hitting the potato would cover the potato itself in flaming fuel, which prolongs its exposure to heat and allowing the hash to fully brown.


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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby AtG » Fri May 09, 2008 7:05 am UTC

LittleChrist wrote:And wouldn't the racket make french fries?


Were they not renamed as freedom fries?

Wikipedia wrote:A politically-motivated euphemism like this is reminiscent of anti-German sentiment during the First World War, when sauerkraut was renamed as liberty cabbage, dachshunds (wiener dogs) as liberty pups, frankfurters as hot dogs (a name that has stuck), German Spitz as American Eskimo Dogs, hamburgers as liberty steaks or Salisbury steaks. Even the German measles were instead called liberty measles.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Newto » Fri May 09, 2008 7:24 am UTC

One thing everyone seems to be forgetting is that tennis rackets generally have plastic stings. So either the strings will melt and fall onto the batter(?), or the potato will stretch and separate the strings for the ring. Either way you end up with liquid plastic burns, or a potato in flaming neon green fishnet pattern (a sight to be seen none the less)

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby rwald » Fri May 09, 2008 7:53 am UTC

ImpossiblyMadHatter wrote:It seems quite obvious to me here that nobody has ever hit anything with an object covered in flaming gasoline...

The drawing is totally valid for these two reasons:
1)The friction from the racquet would, in short, pull the potato forward. The resulting horizontal motion wouldn't be enough to throw the shoe-stringed taters far, but by adjusting the thickness of the racquet wire and force of hit you could (theoretically) donate enough kinetic energy for the potato to get it to its target.

2)By covering the racquet with liquid gasoline, hitting the potato would cover the potato itself in flaming fuel, which prolongs its exposure to heat and allowing the hash to fully brown.


Randall remains a man of science; a gentleman and a scholar.


I'm frankly doubtful that the gasoline would coat the pieces long enough to heat them appreciably; a smooth surface such as metal or plastic can't hold a very thick layer of gasoline, so it would burn off pretty quickly. Also, one thing to remember is that when swinging a racket quickly, there's a risk of putting out the flame. It probably wouldn't extinguish the whole thing, maybe leaving the inner (i.e., slower-moving) part on fire, but the net would be extinguished as of the time when the potato hits it, so no fire whatsoever would be transferred.

Let's see, to do this properly, I'd recommend shooting a potato cannon at a wok (the wok positioned at a slight angle such as to catch the potato but not have it slump to the ground afterward, and also bolted above a flame). The potato will pulverize upon impact, and then cook. If you wanted to be fancy, you could tilt the wok more such that the potato would fall off, but place an additional heated surface underneath, or perhaps a series of slanted surfaces to flip the cooking hash. In any event, I really don't see how one could reduce the cooking step to a single "passes through flame"-type event.

Oh, and speaking of "hot potato," as someone earlier mentioned: You should try its counterpart, "cold apple." Where by "cold" I mean "chilled with LN2 until additional LN2 does not boil off immediately, meaning that the whole apple is at 77K." It's fun, trust me. Especially if you don't realize you're playing until someone yells "Catch!"

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby grythyttan » Fri May 09, 2008 8:03 am UTC

I wonder if Randall realizes that this will probably inspire at least three persons to create some kind of hash brown-making device containing a flaming tennisracket.

It will not end until someone goes by the name "grillface."

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Dobblesworth » Fri May 09, 2008 8:18 am UTC

http://www.liketocook.com/50226711/hashbrown.jpg is also what springs to mind when I think 'hash brown'. McDonalds may serve them as what you could probably call 'potato cakes', but hash browns in a semi-intact single form rather than strips of cooked sliced potato are the traditional representation from my experience of hotel 'Full English' breakfast menus.

I can personally only see it working as the potato is propelled forwards... on fire. There may be grating marks on the rear of the potato, but full shredding would probably result in limited forward momentum for it to reach the plate. I can't see a tennis racket managing to go through and mangel an entire potato. Chopping a sausage in mid-air does not propell the sausage slices forward any further than the length of a plate it would probably be chopped over, rather than flinging across the room. Hitting it towards a ceiling fan might work...

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby JET73L » Fri May 09, 2008 8:26 am UTC

Props (in starting order from left to right)

1. Cricket bat
2. potato
3. tennis racket
4. another tennis racket, set about 1/2 square off of 1st racket (hash browns should be julienned/shoestringed, one tennis racket would make them the thickness of thick french fries)
5. heated-air geyser (not steam geyser, that would just make the starches fall apart) OR
5b. superheated metal plate angled so that hash brown arc over and land on
6. breakfast plate (preferably held with oven mitts, by someeone wearing a hockey goalie's padding and motorcycle helmet)

Although there are far more than 14 ways even just the original plan could go wrong, even if you only include objects shown, and no outside influences occur. (Darwin awards would so accept these guys for Culinary Mistakes of the Year)
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Arancaytar » Fri May 09, 2008 8:32 am UTC

phlip wrote:
LittleChrist wrote:a pure bread fork.

People eat bread with a fork?


I can certainly see a young lady from York doing so.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Felstaff » Fri May 09, 2008 8:41 am UTC

So glad this didn't come with a 'Don't Try This At Home' tag.

Johnson, fire up the racquet my good man.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby GCM » Fri May 09, 2008 9:16 am UTC

Ooh. I've never made hash browns, but that is so what I would have done!

Shadowlost wrote:
Growth wrote:Hitting your hand with the tennis racket
Some kind of flammable clothing/spray catching fire
The potato simply hitting the guy with the plate
The potato knocking the glass on the plate and shattering it into his eyes
Very hot pieces of potato scalding either of them
THERE IS A CAN OF GASOLINE NEXT TO THE FIRE

That's all I can think of right now

Orange juice to the eyes after the plate flings up.
Fork (Spork, Foon, etc.) to the head after losing balance.
Not just hot, but flaming bits of potato burning the guy.
The flaming bits of potato hitting the gasoline can.

That's ten thus far, though I could make several out of the gasoline can.
Also, incidentally, this forum system has a feature I love. Something I've never seen. It tells me if a post has been made while I'm writing this post, thus allowing me to alter the post accordingly. Kudos to whoever designed that feature.

I believe you guys are forgetting the possibility of raptor attacks?

VelociraptorEvader wrote:Mmmm hash browns.... or more correct mmm flaming potato shreds.

I hear Lagasse makes those.

AtG wrote:Were they not renamed as freedom fries?

Freedom freedom freedom oy, freedom freedom freedom oy!

Newto wrote:One thing everyone seems to be forgetting is that tennis rackets generally have plastic stings. So either the strings will melt and fall onto the batter(?), or the potato will stretch and separate the strings for the ring. Either way you end up with liquid plastic burns, or a potato in flaming neon green fishnet pattern (a sight to be seen none the less)


There's the problem. Nothing in xkcd is exactly general, now, is it?

Hold on, I'm getting something...
Hash brown cooker (cannon).JPG
My bestest idea ever!
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There! Forgive the rigidity, all I've got it paint. :D
Last edited by GCM on Fri May 09, 2008 9:39 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby EsotericWombat » Fri May 09, 2008 9:27 am UTC

I'm most concerned about what residue the gasoline leaves on the potatoes. Could it work with Sterno?
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby jonas » Fri May 09, 2008 9:32 am UTC


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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby rowanmikaio » Fri May 09, 2008 10:22 am UTC

I'm so glad he put that comment about the hybrid-fork. That was my only thought about the entire webcomic.
I bypass the flying potato and the flaming racket to squint to see if he's holding a spork.
If it is, will it send the man with the potato through the flaming racket and then eat him using the other human as a utensil? I'm trying to figure out how cross-bred utensil supremacy would work.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby dotancohen » Fri May 09, 2008 10:27 am UTC

I thought the caption said "hash brownies" and I had imagined my own interpretation of the comic. Try it. On hash brownies.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby gormster » Fri May 09, 2008 10:36 am UTC

dotancohen wrote:I thought the caption said "hash brownies" and I had imagined my own interpretation of the comic. Try it. On hash brownies.


I have to admit, if I was high, this would probably be close to my methodology for making hash brownies.

Except chocolate probably would have been involved in some way and I would never have actually been bothered to set this up.

PS I had originally written "if I was baking" but then I realised that that might be a little ambiguous.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby cronholio » Fri May 09, 2008 10:41 am UTC

D'oh. Where I hail from, hash means hashish, so I assumed they were somehow trying to make cookies. Took me a while to figure out that your so-called hash browns are just some devilishly perverted (and in all probability vastly inferior) version of the original Kartoffelpuffer.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby spartagus » Fri May 09, 2008 10:48 am UTC

This looks like a deleted scene from Benny and Joon.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Tobes00 » Fri May 09, 2008 11:14 am UTC

grythyttan wrote:I wonder if Randall realizes that this will probably inspire at least three persons to create some kind of hash brown-making device containing a flaming tennisracket.

It will not end until someone goes by the name "grillface."


Do I detect a Scrubs reference?

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby VectorZero » Fri May 09, 2008 11:43 am UTC

Shii wrote:xkcd usually has a passion for accuracy so I am disturbed to see this comic violates the basic laws of physics. If you swing the racket forward at the potato with the intention of slicing it, it won't be launched towards the plate but rather it would fall on the ground after slicing. The guy should be preparing for a baseball pitch and a backhand swing if he wants the potato to go anywhere at all. But a potato from a bin is not sufficiently light to be sliced by gravity. There should be something else entirely that is on fire, and the racket should be normal.


Agreed. But not if this guy does it.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby michaelandjimi » Fri May 09, 2008 11:48 am UTC

It disturbs me that noone has made the connection between this being the 420th comic (due to 404 being skipped) and the word "Hash" in the title. Especially seeing as cronholio mentioned hashish.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby gormster » Fri May 09, 2008 11:48 am UTC

cronholio wrote:D'oh. Where I hail from, hash means hashish, so I assumed they were somehow trying to make cookies. Took me a while to figure out that your so-called hash browns are just some devilishly perverted (and in all probability vastly inferior) version of the original Kartoffelpuffer.


Nope! At least assuming your potato pancakes are similar to the other potato pancakes of some Scandinavian country that I can't remember whose spelling is equally terrifying. (Were they Dutch? They might be Dutch.)

Anyway, there's no ingredient in hash browns except potato. It's just another way to cook them.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Spoffin » Fri May 09, 2008 12:19 pm UTC

Shii wrote:xkcd usually has a passion for accuracy so I am disturbed to see this comic violates the basic laws of physics. If you swing the racket forward at the potato with the intention of slicing it, it won't be launched towards the plate but rather it would fall on the ground after slicing. The guy should be preparing for a baseball pitch and a backhand swing if he wants the potato to go anywhere at all. But a potato from a bin is not sufficiently light to be sliced by gravity. There should be something else entirely that is on fire, and the racket should be normal.

I think Randall is right and I'm gonna test it to make sure.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Fri May 09, 2008 12:33 pm UTC

I have seen hash browns in three forms:

    Patty or potato cake form, which is very common at a lot of fast food restaurants (McDonald's and Arby's, especially).

    Shredded potato form, usually a bit loose, often found at short-order restaurants like Waffle House (scattered-smothered) or Huddle House.

    Cubed, diced, or chunk form, sometimes referred to as breakfast potatoes or home fries in some areas.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby snowlord » Fri May 09, 2008 1:39 pm UTC

gormster wrote:Nope! At least assuming your potato pancakes are similar to the other potato pancakes of some Scandinavian country that I can't remember whose spelling is equally terrifying. (Were they Dutch? They might be Dutch.)


In Sweden we have Potatisbullar/Potatisplättar. You might be thinking of them.

But the Netherlands are not located in Scandinavia!

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Tommy » Fri May 09, 2008 1:53 pm UTC

I've seen this idea bandied about as a painful but entertaining method of making french fries before, but never hash browns. If only because the racket would have to be strung in a very unorthodox way to get the potato sliced thinly enough.

It would also, as stated before, have to be strung with something other than normal racket strings. It seems a lot of people have missed the important point that tennis rackets are designed for hitting objects around the size and shape of a potato, and I've never seen a tennis ball get sliced. Potatoes are tough cookies, even tougher than tennis balls. Now, if the tennis racket was strung with some form of motorised, lightly-barbed wire..

Other than that, I love the comic, if only because it's got me thinking of ways to improve upon the concept to actually make it work.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby cronholio » Fri May 09, 2008 2:09 pm UTC

Tommy wrote:and I've never seen a tennis ball get sliced


Actually, I bet you did.

Tommy wrote:Now, if the tennis racket was strung with some form of motorised, lightly-barbed wire..


If there was such a thing, I'd also have a number of other uses for it. :twisted:

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Tommy » Fri May 09, 2008 2:14 pm UTC

Damn sports terminology.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Random832 » Fri May 09, 2008 2:27 pm UTC

gormster wrote:
Random832 wrote:
glasnt wrote:Hashbrowns in australia are not the same as your fried potato squish :(

We totally have pressed hashbrown thingies.

America: http://jugalbandi.info/wp-content/uploa ... 8-copy.jpg

Those are real hash browns.

Those are McDonald's hash browns.


Arg! It is called a difference in terminology, people. Local variants, etc.

It's not a "local variant" if McDonalds sells it the same worldwide.

Also, I have had your Grated Potato Bullshit and it is disgusting.


I'll note that what I personally think of as "hash browns" are actually ~5mm potato cubes, rather than grated. - see http://www.spiceplace.com/images/old_ba ... browns.gif (though what comes up on GIS otherwise is mostly the grated stuff)

Then there's the hardees "hash browns" (also called hash rounds) that are small [roughly the size of a US quarter in diameter, and about maybe 1/4 inch thick) but which I can't find a picture of online - they're present in the country breakfast burrito http://cdn.news.aol.com/aolnews_photos/ ... 5509990032 but I can't find a picture of them by themselves.

And then there's tater tots. http://moderncrisis.com/bikenerd/photos ... _Large.jpg

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby zachary » Fri May 09, 2008 2:33 pm UTC

I have to say I am much enjoying the current breakfast themed continuity. Forum bacon and now comic hashbrowns.

Eggs?

Also... Shakleton: keep your delicious photos out of the thread. They hurt me. kthxbai
oh god no it's the SASQUASH!!!

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby gormster » Fri May 09, 2008 2:40 pm UTC

snowlord wrote:
gormster wrote:Nope! At least assuming your potato pancakes are similar to the other potato pancakes of some Scandinavian country that I can't remember whose spelling is equally terrifying. (Were they Dutch? They might be Dutch.)


In Sweden we have Potatisbullar/Potatisplättar. You might be thinking of them.

But the Netherlands are not located in Scandinavia!


Okay, yes, I am aware of that, but they also have a crazy Germanic language that is full of diacritics and odd consonant sequences and that I can make neither heads nor tails of.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Jest Phulin » Fri May 09, 2008 2:50 pm UTC

I almost hate to say this, but it's been done before...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo8_r5Po504

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby theyranos » Fri May 09, 2008 2:53 pm UTC

Shii wrote:xkcd usually has a passion for accuracy so I am disturbed to see this comic violates the basic laws of physics. If you swing the racket forward at the potato with the intention of slicing it, it won't be launched towards the plate but rather it would fall on the ground after slicing. The guy should be preparing for a baseball pitch and a backhand swing if he wants the potato to go anywhere at all. But a potato from a bin is not sufficiently light to be sliced by gravity. There should be something else entirely that is on fire, and the racket should be normal.


Someone with actual knowledge of physics can say whether this is feasible, but:
Image

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby zachary » Fri May 09, 2008 2:59 pm UTC

theyranos wrote:Today I learned I probably shouldn't try to draw fire.


Really?? I thought that was a quality infographic.
oh god no it's the SASQUASH!!!

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Fri May 09, 2008 3:06 pm UTC

Reading this comic reminded me of two things:

First, in the remake version of "Cheaper By The Dozen" when they played the game "Apple Shmear" using ripe apples and a tennis racket.

Second, an episode of Ed, Edd, and Eddy where the boys work on Rolf's farm, and Ed's job was to peel all of the potatoes. Edd sets up a machine that peels the potatoes and juliennes them through a tennis racket.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby TheAbstractor » Fri May 09, 2008 3:10 pm UTC

These are hash browns. These are the quintessential Platonic form of hash browns. This is the food that Americans are willing to make a 5 mile drive for at 2:00AM, while drunk and stoned, risking death, injury, and criminal prosecution in order to eat.

For those of you outside the US, when you visit, get yourselves to a Waffle House before you go. Preferably late at night, off an liitle-used exit of a country highway, halfway through your cross-country roadtrip. It's the only restaurant that, when you leave the restaurant, you will smell like the restaurant, and won't regretting doing so.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Jorpho » Fri May 09, 2008 3:35 pm UTC

Why is there no link to Salon's excerpt, "A Meditation on Hash Browns", from the Achewood cookbook?

...Oh. Because it's down right now. Makes sense.

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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby lowbart » Fri May 09, 2008 3:51 pm UTC

phlip wrote:
LittleChrist wrote:a pure bread fork.

People eat bread with a fork?

Not only that, but they have a special kind of fork for doing so?


Maybe it's a fork for pure bread.
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Re: "Making Hash Browns" Discussion

Postby Lossefalme » Fri May 09, 2008 4:37 pm UTC

spartagus wrote:This looks like a deleted scene from Benny and Joon.


I'm glad someone else thought of Benny and Joon too - I think it's a good thing that Sam didn't have a flaming tennis racket...


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