0478: "The Staple Madness"

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Probably Human
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Probably Human » Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:54 am UTC

I must be one of the only ones here that dislikes staple guns. It's not that they aren't amazingly awesome and all, its just that I'm scared of sharp objects and loud noises. Also, how on earth is that guy stapled to the ceiling? I don't think his clothes would be strong enough to hold him up there for long, and I'm sure no staples are thick enough to go through a human. Then again, he is a stick figure, so the staples wouldn't have to be thick at all!
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby sakeniwefu » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:32 am UTC

Probably Human wrote:I must be one of the only ones here that dislikes staple guns. It's not that they aren't amazingly awesome and all, its just that I'm scared of sharp objects and loud noises. Also, how on earth is that guy stapled to the ceiling? I don't think his clothes would be strong enough to hold him up there for long, and I'm sure no staples are thick enough to go through a human. Then again, he is a stick figure, so the staples wouldn't have to be thick at all!

With enough staples, nothing is impossible. :twisted:

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Sagard » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:33 am UTC

Once you date a Megan, it's impossible to forget her. I've been hung up on mine for fifteen months, and it hasn't been made any easier by the fact we're talking again after that long and openly flirting with each other.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Kebrel » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:35 am UTC

I am oddly bothered by the way "Affix" looks in this comic. :?

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Nemphael » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:43 am UTC

I remember that one episode of Scrubs when J. D. got duct taped to the ceiling. That was awesome! Yet now we need him stapled. Where does he live?

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Gelsamel » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:45 am UTC

smartalco wrote:Staple guns: because duct tape can't make that 'kaCHUNK' noise.


He obviously hasn't tried hard enough...
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby LSN » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:00 am UTC

"Must affix everything to everything!"

Will we FINALLY have a black hole THEN?

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Jorpho » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:01 am UTC

Wasn't it Lethal Weapon 3 where a bad guy was killed with a staple gun? The device also features prominently in Home Alone 2.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby SwissArmyAnts » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:09 am UTC

GodShapedBullet wrote:Incidentally, happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, everybody.


Yeah, I'm excited. Interestingly, it also happens to be Silly Hat Day at the elementary school where I work. Is it a coincidence that I have a very realistic Pirate hat that I'm always looking for excuses to wear? I think not.
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby linguistic » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:25 am UTC

I'll go ahead and blame the fact that I'm sick and sleep deprived for this, but... I have to claim the thickie award for this comic.

I... I thought the disembodied voice in the final panel was the voice of God. I didn't realise he'd stapled his friend to the ceiling.

I just assumed his stapling was so out of hand, it was an affront to God.

My name is Linguistic, and I misinterpreted an xkcd comic. :oops:
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Roiden » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:31 am UTC

Sagard wrote:Once you date a Megan, it's impossible to forget her. I've been hung up on mine for fifteen months, and it hasn't been made any easier by the fact we're talking again after that long and openly flirting with each other.


Fifteen... ouch, it's only been 6 for me. Mine was Meghan though but I still think that counts. Those Megans/Meghans certainly are a breed unlike any other.

Jorpho wrote:Wasn't it Lethal Weapon 3 where a bad guy was killed with a staple gun? The device also features prominently in Home Alone 2.


It was Lethal Weapon 2 and he used a nail gun but you were close enough

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby markfiend » Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:23 am UTC

NThisStyle-10-6 wrote:Staple Guns win if they are pneumatic.

No. When you shoot one 15mm leg of a staple through your fingernail and out the other side of your finger they really do not win.
linguistic wrote: I thought the disembodied voice in the final panel was the voice of God. I didn't realise he'd stapled his friend to the ceiling.

That's even worse than me, I thought the friend was upstairs or something. :oops:
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby stormoftara » Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:25 am UTC

GodShapedBullet wrote:Incidentally, happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, everybody.

It's also my birthday, me mates. *cough that has nothing to do with the comic*

In other news, Duct tape > Staples

When I was a kid I called it duck tape...*quack*

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Firnagzen » Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:27 am UTC

Staple hammers are far superior to staple guns, thus I shall talk only about them.

Staple hammers are indeed great, however, nothing can compare to duct tape when attca- affixing things together. HOWEVER! Staple hammers are very decent headcrab killing devices, possibly even better than crowbars. Keep that in mind, and that Gordon Freeman and the G-Man have been sighted at the LHC.

Staple hammers and guns... Truly, nothing can match that sound, but for utility, I owe my alleigance to duct tape. I have about 6 rolls in the room next to me, including one roll of the aluminum type which is awesome. :mrgreen:
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby branjb » Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:33 am UTC

The affix followed by the frame of kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK reminded me of the phenomenon that is affixing an i to the beginning of anything apple, or a k to the beginning of anything KDE.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Cytoplasm » Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:12 am UTC

I am a duct tape person but all I can say is YES to this comic.

It has brightened my morning. Go ka-CHUNK noises. Haha.
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby MalumOpus » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:07 pm UTC

stormoftara wrote:When I was a kid I called it duck tape...*quack*


Firstly, happy birthday!!

'Duck' tape is an acceptable term for it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duct_tape#Etymology

Quack!

We used to build starships out of duct tape and staples. Well, to be honest, not starships, but we had some pretty good outdoor/marquee parties held together with the stuff.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby ThemePark » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:15 pm UTC

branjb wrote:The affix followed by the frame of kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK reminded me of the phenomenon that is affixing an i to the beginning of anything apple, or a k to the beginning of anything KDE.

So kaCHUNK is really just a chunk of KDE?

I know, bad joke, but I was compelled to say it. Randall, get out of my head!
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby darthValiant » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:38 pm UTC

Lest we forget the bigger angrier uncle to staple guns: the powder activated nail gun (wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Powder-actuated_tool .) In addition to the ones you see in the wiki that are trigger activated, there are others ( home depot: http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/sto ... =100091715 ) that actuate by hitting them with a hammer. This is essentially a captive bolt pistol where the captive bolt forces a nail through nearly anything. They use .22-.27 caliber loads. 'nuff said.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:55 pm UTC

stormoftara wrote:In other news, Duct tape > Staples


And Office Depot > Staples > Office Max

*sound of crickets*

*cough*
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Hasufel » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:55 pm UTC

GodShapedBullet wrote:
smartalco wrote:
GodShapedBullet wrote:Isn't this guy the same character that stapled his hat to his head so he could hang upside-down in a tree?


That would be Harrison Ford, thats why his hat never fell off in the Indiana Jones movies


I meant this guy: http://xkcd.com/291/


Oh, but Indiana Jones' hat did fall off! That famous first scene that's always parodied is a good example. He just never liked to go without it. (Much like Captain Jack Sparrow!)

And I find this comic so ironically hilarious because 1. I was just stapling paper to a board (decoration for my teacher's room, in my aiding period; however, I was not using a staple gun. :( ) and 2. my name is Megan.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Hasufel » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:57 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:
stormoftara wrote:In other news, Duct tape > Staples


And Office Depot > Staples > Office Max

*sound of crickets*

*cough*


Hmm, I prefer Staples to Office Depot.
And packaging tape to duct tape. Though duct tape can look cooler.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby urger » Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:32 pm UTC

A colleague of mine once requested data from a certain government agency that I will not reveal was USGS. The data arrived on a set of 5 DVDs. Except they only sent 4 of them. No problem she just called and let them know one was missing.

A few days later the 5th arrived.
Stapled right through the plastic to an order form. :shock:

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Sprocket » Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:39 pm UTC

I've always wondered why there aren't more stapple and nail gun shootings/murders. You don't need a lisence and they're pretty effective. Sure you have to get a bit closer...
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby ckbryant » Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:52 pm UTC

Duct tape enthusiasts are only waiting to be initiated to the joys of gaffer tape, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaffer_tape. Gaffer tape makes broken things better than they were before you broke them, as the broken bone knits to become stronger than it was before the break.

Obviously, this leads to people deliberately breaking their equipment so that they can then repair it with gaffer tape. See, for example, Holga Cameras.

Similarly, nothing beats the resounding bang of a nail gun, except maybe those gadjets that actually use a .22 cartridge to drive a nail into concrete. Man, those things are cool.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Fallingwater » Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:00 pm UTC

Pfft. Hand staplers, or even hammer staplers, can't hold a candle to compressor-powered ones. No silly ka-chunk, they make a far more gratifying FSSCHOOM that says "put your hand under me and you'll have a hell of a time removing it".

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby theintegral » Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:09 pm UTC

Arrrr! I also have noticed Megan every time. But 'tis because she has the same name as me...

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Ghworg » Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:35 pm UTC

"but then, they switched... from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much,.. and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll have to... I'll set the building on fire..."

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby TzeraFNX » Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:51 pm UTC

Beret guy is definitely my favorite XKCD character. HE needs to star in more comics where his silliness can go unbridled!

linguistic wrote:I... I thought the disembodied voice in the final panel was the voice of God. I didn't realise he'd stapled his friend to the ceiling.

I just assumed his stapling was so out of hand, it was an affront to God.


I also thought it was the voice of God on first read... I think I've been reading Dinosaur Comics too much?

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby sje46 » Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:59 pm UTC

Does/did Randall have a girlfriend named Megan?

Also, Argg!

Ye shall call me Captain Blackjack, you scurvy!

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby PatrickRsGhost » Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:08 pm UTC

Ghworg wrote:"but then, they switched... from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much,.. and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll have to... I'll set the building on fire..."


I always thought he was talking about the Stanley-Bostitch staplers, which do have a tendency to bind up, and suck at stapling through more than 9 or 10 sheets of paper. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I have a Swingline on my desk I swapped my Stanley for after nearly throwing the Stanley through the window for not stapling through a 15-page document. The standard staples are supposed to be able to go through up to 20 sheets. The only way the Stanley would go through the document is if I hit it with just the right amount of force. Not enough, and the staple only goes half-way through. Too much, and the stapler binds up when two or more staples try to come out at the same time.

I'd call up to our main office and talk to the lady who handles ordering supplies for most of the offices. She said hell no to my request for an electric stapler. I asked my boss, and he said the same thing. They both have it in their minds the things cost over $100. I bought one that only cost about $30. I had bought it several years ago, got reimbursed for it, and my replacement is currently using it. I think it was a Stanley-Bostitch, but it always got the job done.
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby theyellowhobbit » Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:54 pm UTC

theintegral wrote:Arrrr! I also have noticed Megan every time. But 'tis because she has the same name as me...



I noticed in this one ("names") the girl was named Rachel, since my name is Rachel: http://xkcd.com/302/

At the time I decided it meant I should marry Randall :-p
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Grego » Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:00 pm UTC

Duct Tape > Staple Gun

I'm sorry Randall, but that's a fact of life you're messing with there.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby yakster » Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:00 pm UTC

Whenever I feen for that KaCHUNK, KaCHUNK, KaCHUNK, I hit up http://www.virtualstapler.com.

Not affiliated with the site, but I love that I can staple with a clone of my Ace stapler wherever I am.

-Yak

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby lysandra » Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:52 pm UTC

hahahahaha.... this reminds me of the Stapler Liberation Front of UCDavis, which stormed the senate meeting and declared that the computer labs had been without for far too long and then donated a bunch with a cry of KACHUNK!

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Alder » Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:59 pm UTC

Who is Megan? Does she have any particular significance...?
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby madsci » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:10 pm UTC

Hey, that's not funny. Back when I worked at Software Etc I had a coworker flip out on too much Diet Pepsi and go berserk with a shrink wrap machine. It still gives me nightmares.

The boss wasn't too happy about having to unwrap all of his sodas, neckties, and loose change, either.

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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby Chevron » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:35 pm UTC

I plan on printing this comic and stapling it to something.

I would also like to state my approval of the SlimStapler iPhone application.
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby ohnoesmilk » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:51 pm UTC

Probably Human wrote:I must be one of the only ones here that dislikes staple guns. It's not that they aren't amazingly awesome and all, its just that I'm scared of sharp objects and loud noises. Also, how on earth is that guy stapled to the ceiling? I don't think his clothes would be strong enough to hold him up there for long, and I'm sure no staples are thick enough to go through a human. Then again, he is a stick figure, so the staples wouldn't have to be thick at all!


I'm always afraid I'll accidentally drop the staple gun and it'll shoot staples at me.

But it would be cool to shoot a balloon with one...

Also, you can't make a wallet out of staples!

and ductape smells good. mmm.
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Re: The Staple Madness

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

I wonder if Megan is just his first choice when he needs a random girl's name? (Mine is usually Rena, sometimes Kagome or Sakura. :P)
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