0481: "Listen to Yourself"

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Jirin
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Jirin » Fri Sep 26, 2008 6:47 pm UTC

I think that, even in a Star Trek utopia, people go on message boards and be idiots.

I can imagine Jean Luc Picard posting on the web:

DARJEELING IS 4 LUZERS

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Supakitsune » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:30 pm UTC

This shouldn't be a virus; it should be a standard feature in every browser.
Additionally, people who are repeat offenders should be redirected to a RickRoll for increasing intervals of time.

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arbivark
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby arbivark » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:32 pm UTC

penguinsauce wrote:http://www.penguincomic.com
This might be the greatest webcomic strip in the history of the internet.

Well, it was pretty good, thx.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby william » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:36 pm UTC

gtkarber wrote:MCSAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2

Edit: this was a joke about youtube comments, but then I thought, "oh, what if someone thinks I'm a moron," so I changed it.

I guess you just want ODUMBO COMMUNISM.
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby OmegaLord » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

msittig wrote:I hardly ever read Youtube comments anymore... thanks to the Youtube Comment Snob extension for Firefox!

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/7115


You may have saved the internet for me.

Now I have to go back from chrome.
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby lingomaniac88 » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:59 pm UTC

I wonder if we can get Morgan Freeman to be that voice... :)

Seriously, I think that YouTube should take an effort to block out comments, especially comments like "Post this comment on 1000000000000...[Ackermann function of Graham's number) zeroes]...000 videos or your mother will die in 3 seconds" or anything that starts with the words "FUCK MAN I know."

Supakitsune wrote:Additionally, people who are repeat offenders should be redirected to a browser-eating RickRoll for increasing intervals of time.

Fixed.
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby fyrenwater » Fri Sep 26, 2008 8:12 pm UTC

This is even better than Neil Cicierga's "YouTube User Purge" trick video to get stupid posters to STFU. At least this idea makes people realize how stupid they are.

Quick, people should band together and make this happen!

msittig wrote:https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/7115

Totally got it. :D
Last edited by fyrenwater on Fri Sep 26, 2008 8:15 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
...It made more sense in my head.

gzero
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby gzero » Fri Sep 26, 2008 8:12 pm UTC

Right, since I already had a text-to-speech daemon installed (app-accessibility/speechd for any Gentoo folk, http://www.speechio.org/ for other Linuxes, other OS are on their own) I couldn't pass this up. It's not quite the virus as described in the comic, just a Python script that takes a link to a Youtube video and feeds the comments to speechd. I'm sure it could be made smarter as I wrote this in a few minutes.

Here's the script:

Code: Select all

#!/usr/bin/python
import urllib2
import sys
def usage():
    print "Usage: " + sys.argv[0] + " http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXX"
    quit()
if len(sys.argv) != 2:
    usage()
if not sys.argv[1].startswith("http://www.youtube.com"):
    usage()
nextIsComment = 0
try:
    for line in urllib2.urlopen(sys.argv[1]):
        if nextIsComment:
            line = line.strip(' \t\n').replace('<br/>', ' ').replace('&quot;', ' ')
            print line
        if 'watch-comment-body' in line:
            nextIsComment = 1
        else:
            nextIsComment = 0
except urllib2.URLError:
    print "Couldn't find link: " + sys.argv[1]
    usage()
except ValueError:
    print "Invalid link: " + sys.argv[1]
    usage()

Run it like this:

Code: Select all

./you2speech.py http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8axV56ujY

Which in this case gives following output:
I was all about this so me and my lady made a undressed rendition of this video
WTF are u talking about? I don't remember ever mentioning GOD??? oh yeah and mate sounds really geeky compared to the American buddy haha lol ok buddy sounds sooo much better. Yeah and we shouldnt be burning up Earth's resources it is pointless . There is nothing to explore in space until we have a clean energy source and a new propulsion system where we can really explore far away places and not damage the Earth but we need to evolve first so we dont take our anger to space [...]

Piping the output to catspeech (speechd's utility for sending stuff to /dev/speech) makes you hear the whole, tragic thing:

Code: Select all

./you2speech.py http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8axV56ujY | catspeech

Run at your own risk, both as you have no guarantees the script won't cause your computer to spontaneously combust and you might go slightly insane having to hear the inanity of Youtube commenters. :)

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Fri Sep 26, 2008 9:31 pm UTC

they need to do way instain youtuber> who post thier comments.
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Dropzone
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Dropzone » Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:10 am UTC

Spoiler:
gzero wrote:Right, since I already had a text-to-speech daemon installed (app-accessibility/speechd for any Gentoo folk, http://www.speechio.org/ for other Linuxes, other OS are on their own) I couldn't pass this up. It's not quite the virus as described in the comic, just a Python script that takes a link to a Youtube video and feeds the comments to speechd. I'm sure it could be made smarter as I wrote this in a few minutes.

Here's the script:

Code: Select all

#!/usr/bin/python
import urllib2
import sys
def usage():
    print "Usage: " + sys.argv[0] + " http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXX"
    quit()
if len(sys.argv) != 2:
    usage()
if not sys.argv[1].startswith("http://www.youtube.com"):
    usage()
nextIsComment = 0
try:
    for line in urllib2.urlopen(sys.argv[1]):
        if nextIsComment:
            line = line.strip(' \t\n').replace('<br/>', ' ').replace('&quot;', ' ')
            print line
        if 'watch-comment-body' in line:
            nextIsComment = 1
        else:
            nextIsComment = 0
except urllib2.URLError:
    print "Couldn't find link: " + sys.argv[1]
    usage()
except ValueError:
    print "Invalid link: " + sys.argv[1]
    usage()

Run it like this:

Code: Select all

./you2speech.py http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8axV56ujY

Which in this case gives following output:
I was all about this so me and my lady made a undressed rendition of this video
WTF are u talking about? I don't remember ever mentioning GOD??? oh yeah and mate sounds really geeky compared to the American buddy haha lol ok buddy sounds sooo much better. Yeah and we shouldnt be burning up Earth's resources it is pointless . There is nothing to explore in space until we have a clean energy source and a new propulsion system where we can really explore far away places and not damage the Earth but we need to evolve first so we dont take our anger to space [...]

Piping the output to catspeech (speechd's utility for sending stuff to /dev/speech) makes you hear the whole, tragic thing:

Code: Select all

./you2speech.py http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8axV56ujY | catspeech

Run at your own risk, both as you have no guarantees the script won't cause your computer to spontaneously combust and you might go slightly insane having to hear the inanity of Youtube commenters. :)
Okay, I just had to port this to Windows. I think the rather dubious quality of the built-in speech synthesis makes it sound even more amusing. Here's my modified version of the code:
Spoiler:

Code: Select all

import urllib2
import sys
import win32com.client
def usage():
    print "Usage: " + sys.argv[0] + " http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXX"
    quit()
if len(sys.argv) != 2:
    usage()
if not sys.argv[1].startswith("http://www.youtube.com"):
    usage()
nextIsComment = 0
try:
    speaker = win32com.client.Dispatch('SAPI.SpVoice')
    for line in urllib2.urlopen(sys.argv[1]):
        if nextIsComment:
            line = line.strip(' \t\n').replace('<br/>', ' ').replace('&quot;', ' ')
            speaker.Speak('<pitch middle="+24"/><rate speed="+5"/>' + line)
        if 'watch-comment-body' in line:
            nextIsComment = 1
        else:
            nextIsComment = 0
except urllib2.URLError:
    print "Couldn't find link: " + sys.argv[1]
    usage()
except ValueError:
    print "Invalid link: " + sys.argv[1]
    usage()
Requirements for it to work: Install pywin32. Launch PythonWin, go to Tools->COM Makepy utility, select "Microsoft Speech Object Library (5.0)" (the version number might be different) and click OK. Run the script as for the Linux version, except there's no need to pipe it into anything - it does the speaking itself.

mariusk
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby mariusk » Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:36 am UTC

Sprocket wrote:heh, I'm just imagining Bart Simpson continuously touching a hot frying pan. "Owe!" (touch) "Owe!" (touch) "Owe!" Though I suppose that is more Homer's milieu.


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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby GCM » Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:03 am UTC

Someone should actually do that. Morgan Freeman was a good idea :D.

I think Youtube could do this themselves, and give people a sticker on their name or something for having this feature on. Then the idiots become a lot more apparent.

But then again, I also think Youtube should limit replies to my comments (I comment on Youtube! Ahhhh!!) to 2 or 3 at most from one person. Some people have never heard "brevity is the soul of wit", apparently.
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Kaiyas
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Kaiyas » Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:36 am UTC

GCM wrote:Someone should actually do that. Morgan Freeman was a good idea :D.

Oh boy. Now everyone'll think they're a freemanic paracusiac.
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penguinsauce
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby penguinsauce » Sat Sep 27, 2008 2:38 am UTC

arbivark wrote:
penguinsauce wrote:http://www.penguincomic.com
This might be the greatest webcomic strip in the history of the internet.

Well, it was pretty good, thx.


I meant randol's :p but thanks for the compliment!

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SwissArmyAnts
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby SwissArmyAnts » Sat Sep 27, 2008 5:27 am UTC

I wonder if there's any way to apply this to the creators of crackpot sites as well. Sure, maybe those sites aren't as heavily trafficked as mainstream sites such as Youtube, but I think that it would still contribute to making the internet a better place. After all, many of the morons on the internet get their ideas from these guys.

We can do this guy for starters,
http://www.timecube.com/

Then we can move on to bigger fish:
http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicapollo.html
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(3) Therefore, God exists.

madAlric
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby madAlric » Sat Sep 27, 2008 7:23 am UTC

I'm pretty sure that this would be uncomplicated to implement. It would consist of multiple parts -- the exploit mechanism, the downloader, the reader (post-detection), the speech synthesis software, and obfuscation tools.

A: exploits galore! -- Exploits are simple, and available for almost all operating systems, browsers, and media programs. The ideal exploiter would be, rather than a single attack, a multi-headed method. It would use external drive exploiters, activex controls, java, javascript, flash exploits, and pretty much anything available at the time. It would install itself, prepare to infect another computer, and then download the payload. There are ways to get OSes to do this for you, too, in order to not trigger the firewall. It would then install the payload.

B: Payload/Downloader. This program would download and install the other components of the virus, provide command-and-control, enable a web server on the computer to allow other hosts to download from this one, and check periodically for updates to the core code of all components. Ideally it would use multiple methods, such as un-tracked torrent and HTTP download. This program would then install its three main duties, and then stand by. This program also periodically checks the health of the other parts of the virus as a whole. It should repair damaged components by deleting the old versions, and redownloading.

C1: Post-detection. This installs a BHO or extension for all browsers installed on the victim's system, and a service to watch HTTP traffic. It watches for submitted data from forms, strips out formatting codes, and passes the data to:

C2: Speech synthesis. This can be built-in speech synthesis, or homebrew. Homebrew would give more options as far as voice, but would otherwise be pretty much transparent.

C3: Obfuscation. This software changes the file-names of all exploit and program files using random combinations of [word fragment][word fragment][letter][number, should be 64 or 32, or not present]. This will help prevent human readers from thinking that anything foul is going on. (The most common virus detection I see at work is someone going "ah, random string of letters and numbers, with random capitalization. Must be malicious." The Russian Mafia hasn't gotten too good at obfuscation yet.) This program also changes some junk data in all associated program files, effectively changing the program's hashes, making signature detection useless.

4: Command-and-control: this will have one feature. It will allow a person to tell the package to stop running. This affects all running copies of the package which are listening for C&C. They will then switch over to broadcasting C&C stop messages to all units that connect for updates and C&C.


If you do make it, make it small, and make it efficient. I don't want to have a thousand customers coming in with their sticky laptops saying that their computers are talking to them and running slow. Make it obscure and hard to dissect. this will ensure the longevity of the program.

For examples of what security professionals look for in decoding exploits and downloaders, head over to the SANS Internet Storm Center (isc.sans.org). It's informative in both directions. Happy coding.

edit: oops, no hyperlinks for me yet.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby airwolf » Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:22 am UTC

the world has no idea how happy this comic makes me..lol

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby SirJimmy » Sat Sep 27, 2008 4:27 pm UTC

Why I joined the forums?

Cause I had to agree with this comic. So badly.

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Ceiren
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Ceiren » Sat Sep 27, 2008 6:38 pm UTC

This makes me want to pick up programming again.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Doodle77 » Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:01 pm UTC

Image
+4. Youtube comment raters are just as idiotic as posters.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:49 pm UTC

Nice to see some more BHM/Journal Girl comics.
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby anouk » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:38 am UTC

Doodle77 wrote:Image
+4. Youtube comment raters are just as idiotic as posters.

lol 'F+ etc' i don't know about where anyone else comes from... but the + would indicate slightly better than an F; slightly contradictory much? :lol:

i can't believe i just dignified that with a response :?
Someone say something funny please, I need a new signature.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Rysto » Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:56 pm UTC

Sprocket wrote:
SimonBob wrote:Wonder if they'd be smart enough to just turn down the volume on their speakers every time they posted?

heh, I'm just imagining Bart Simpson continuously touching a hot frying pan. "Owe!" (touch) "Owe!" (touch) "Owe!" Though I suppose that is more Homer's milieu.

It was an electrified cupcake, not a frying pan.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby martinultima » Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:52 pm UTC

nyeguy wrote:This is better than the virus that replaces windows with Ubuntu, themes it like XP, then moves all your files to the same folder locations and deletes itself.

The only legitimate use for that virus is breaking all your hardware and wiping out Flash/codec support so you can't watch YouTube either.
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Rowsdower » Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:21 pm UTC

This needs to be made. Although the computer will have a hell of a time pronouncing mispellings.

While they're at it.....there's many a forum where this would be useful.
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Mattman
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Mattman » Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:12 pm UTC

Shortgeek wrote:If it were implemented in the past, then the comments wouldn't have been there. This would mean that the NEED to create such a virus would never have happened, and thus we wouldn't have created it and sent it to the past. But if we don't create it, then the problem is there, and we DO need to create it. It's like circular logic, but with a twist that makes it impossible in this dimension -- Mobius logic, if you will. I'd rather be killed by an LHC than a temporal paradox. So personally, I wish that it wasn't implemented in the past. :P

Argh, it's late at night and I probably am rambling about random stuff too much. I've already posted 5 times on the same thread, on the same PAGE, in 30 minutes, and those are the only things I've ever posted. But I just can't.....stop.....posting....ramblings... maybe we need a virus for forum posts as well as youtube comments?


Which is why there needs to be someone experimenting with time travel by sending monkeys into the past to change things. However, that person can have no intention of changing anything in particular. So, we just have to hold out hope for the monkeys who would write Shakespeare, and when they inevitably do, that person will still be sending monkeys into the past for no particular reason. Problem solved! ... Except when those 2nd timeline monkeys inevitably rewrite Shakespeare because they discovered him for the hack he was and turn to Danielle Steele. But then the 3rd timeline monkeys would almost certainly come to our rescue...

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Alder » Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:46 pm UTC

I can't believe I missed this on Friday! What was I thinking!

Anyway, always happy with a Black Hat day....:D
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Shay Guy » Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:02 am UTC

:shock: Holy crap.

I think YouTube itself has done it.

I just posted a comment to a video, and there was a button that said "Audio Preview." And it worked. It was gone when I reloaded the page, though.

But if I didn't hallucinate that...man, I knew xkcd had power, but that might be a new record.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby bob001 » Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:57 am UTC

holy crap holy crap holy crap IT'S THERE!!!!!

EDIT: wait...its gone. hmmm
Last edited by bob001 on Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:26 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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gzero
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby gzero » Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:03 am UTC

This is for real, but they're not showing it for every video. I visited 5 or 6 different videos and clicked "Post a Text Comment" before the button showed up.

This is pretty huge. :D

Edit 1: It seems like the Internets are taking notice: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 031AAjpUVD

Edit N+1: See the new thread I started on the topic:
http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=28703
Last edited by gzero on Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:12 am UTC, edited 5 times in total.

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Ian35
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Ian35 » Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:46 am UTC

I was just on youtube, and there was definitely a functional "audio preview" button there for a few comments I made. Seems to be gone now tho, I hope it goes in for good eventually that place is a little over the top sometimes. The comment snob plugin for firefox has made it much more bearable, but still :)

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby ACU-LP » Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:17 am UTC

Is it possible that someone infected youtube with a virus like that discussed, but youtube removed it? I am guessing that despite the fact they removed it, it would still affect the first post a person makes after the infection date.

I am also guessing that if enough people ask, they'll try to bring the virus back (if it is such)
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby GCM » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:54 am UTC

Wow. My button did nothing; just stood there unclickable for a second and then came back.

Regardless, I had it read to me anyway, and as far as I'm concerned, I was the only person there who wasn't an idiot.
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby ACU-LP » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:55 am UTC

And in your further posts has it dissapeared?
I Am Raven wrote:Math is like a penis: it can be very satisfactory, but also a pain in the ass.
Red vs Blue wrote:Wash: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Caboose: Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.

DManess
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby DManess » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:39 am UTC

THERE'S SERIOUSLY AN AUDIO BUTTON! I freaked, because i saw it as i was posting a comment!

This is SO not a coincidence.

MysticalChicken
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby MysticalChicken » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:47 am UTC

Yeah, I was replying to someone's comment on Neko Case's "Furnace Room Lullaby" video and saw the "audio preview" button, so I clicked it. The computerised voice sounds funny, though, and reads things too fast and with no discernible punctuation, and sometimes mispronounces words.

Exarian
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby Exarian » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:51 am UTC

Image

YOUTUBE LISTENED TO XKCD! TRY IT!

DManess
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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby DManess » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:57 am UTC

i hope somebody does some extremely extensive research and tells us whether or not this actually stemmed from the xkcd comic.

if so, this could make xkcd go mainstream.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby SocialSceneRepairman » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:58 am UTC

Holy crap...

It's official. The battle for the Internet has ended.

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Re: "Listen to Yourself" Discussion

Postby rubber314chicken » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:07 am UTC

this is almost as epic as 4chan rick rolling the mtv awards
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