0236: "Collecting Double-Takes"

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OneLess
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Postby OneLess » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:13 am UTC

You could probably get these at one of those "we sell everything but hardware hardware stores"-

-steak knives
-duct tape
-Bible
-200 pack of pencils

Don't ask me what the implication is, but if I were a cashier it would freak me the hell out.

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apricity
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Postby apricity » Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:18 pm UTC

Welcome, OneLess! You should head on over to the Introductions thread to properly introduce yourself :) Although that was a pretty awesome intro post right there.
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OneLess
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Postby OneLess » Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:04 am UTC

Ha, thanks! For some reason I didn't think to actually look and assumed there wasn't an introduction thread :oops:

saxmaniac1987
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Postby saxmaniac1987 » Thu Mar 22, 2007 3:42 am UTC

This is slightly off topic (its a funny condom story) but I think you guys will appreciate... Last night our school hosted what they dubbed 'condom bingo' basically, games of bingo interspersed with information about STDs and condom use. I was at a table with a bunch of friends, and the one girl won a game of bingo. All the winners of the bingo games had to also make a guess as to how many condoms were in this giant package of condoms. This girl got it right--250 condoms. The whole place bursts out laughing, and as she comes back to the table her boyfriend, who was sitting next to her, takes the package, stands up, puts the package over his head and yells "YESSS!"

Great times.
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Kin
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Re: Not exactly two items...

Postby Kin » Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:18 am UTC

yess wrote:The story happenned in communist Poland in the 80's. The economic situation was disastrous. Buying any basic supplies was difficult. Also people weren't as accustomed to sexual content as nowadays.

Anyway. Two of my friends went to the lakes in Mazury region for a week of sailing. As buying normal sailing gear was next to impossible, they decided to use condom rubber strips to store sails underboard in an organized way (especially the huge spinnaker sail, AFAIK).

The guy was a normal 20-sth dude with a big beard and the girl was a tiny, delicate blonde. They went to the only little grocery story in nearby village in the middle of nowhere.

He: 15 packs of condoms, please.
She: But honey, will it be enough for today?



Pewnie Tak. Alle, mozje nie.

Wootky!

excarnate
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Special Halloween edition

Postby excarnate » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:12 pm UTC

A bag of apples and a package of (straight) razor blades.

Then ask the cashier out.


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Postby f4hy » Mon Apr 16, 2007 7:45 am UTC

Box of condoms + happy fathers day card

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Nomic
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Postby Nomic » Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:13 am UTC

I went to the store and bought a carton of milk and a box of toothpics. Rather strange combinations, altought can't make up any double standard use for em. The reason I bought the milk was cause I had ran out of milk (that's why I went to the store) and while in there I noticed they had toothpics, which are exellent for painting very small things like eyes on my miniatures (I play Warhammer 40k)

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apricity
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Postby apricity » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:25 pm UTC

Ooh, that gave me a good idea. Go in with like 8 kids and buy condoms and thumbtacs.
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Postby Shro » Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:33 am UTC

Condoms, lube and a ridiculously cute stuffed animal or Finding Nemo or something. But seriously, don't buy your lube in a supermarket. Between the "Warm Lovin'" (by Durex I think) and the Meijer brand (yeah, I know... Meijer has their own lube?) the lube sucks. Silicon based lubes are better than water based lubes anyway... try ID Millennium or something.
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For the alt!

Postby Urzza » Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:05 am UTC

-Plastic Drop Cloth.
-Chainsaw.

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cephalopod9
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Postby cephalopod9 » Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:28 am UTC

I think you guys are trying too hard.
I mean a roll of film and and a pair of toy hand cuffs would probably get you some looks (bonus points if you keep eagerly checking the time). Really, it's just about changing the context things are put in. A couple I can think of:

-mouse traps and cooking supplies (frying pan, spatula or maybe a whisk)

-hair removal product (Nair) and tapes for a video camera

-pain killers and pliers (practice holding the pliers at odd angles when you're picking them out)

-laxatives and seive (make a comment along the lines of "oh those darn kids" when you get to the counter)

-one of those little sewing kits, maybe some tape, and disinfectant maybe some cleaner that specifies for blood stains if that's too subtle(look like you're anxious to get somewhere)

I'm trying to think of something that would (not) go with a gelatin mold...
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OmenPigeon
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Postby OmenPigeon » Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:56 am UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:I'm trying to think of something that would (not) go with a gelatin mold...


Small firecrackers and extra fuse.
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dmd
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Postby dmd » Wed May 02, 2007 11:01 pm UTC

This one was accidental, but one of my best and most subtle:

Neosporin, band-aid, box of matzah.


(I've always played it using a special set of rules: 1) Condoms, lube, anything like that is cheating. 2) It's best if you have two items that would be totally innocuous, and a third item which completely changes the meaning/context to make it horrid.)

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bbctol
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Postby bbctol » Wed May 02, 2007 11:56 pm UTC

I'll go with a cucumber, a Bible, and some epoxy. The mutter to the cashier, "Big night tonight."

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sr71bb
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Postby sr71bb » Thu May 03, 2007 12:50 am UTC

As noted in my introduction, I was mid-management. Started working as a cashier at the local grocery store at night for extra spending cash, and as a mental vacation from the daily tedium. I've seen plenty of odd combinations, but my favorite -

Light bulbs, a whisk, and lighter fluid. :thumbup:

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bbctol
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Postby bbctol » Thu May 03, 2007 12:54 am UTC

sr71bb:

Why do you type in red? Or do mods just edit your every post?

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The Ivy
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Postby The Ivy » Thu May 03, 2007 12:59 am UTC

My best friend in high school used to do this sort of thing. His favourite combination was a Bible, a stopwatch, and a plunger.

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sr71bb
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Postby sr71bb » Thu May 03, 2007 1:02 am UTC

bbctol wrote:sr71bb:

Why do you type in red? Or do mods just edit your every post?


It's orange-red, because orange is too light, and I'm lazy so it makes it easier for me to find my own posts when reading back. Does it upset/offend you?

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Thu May 03, 2007 1:05 am UTC

sr71bb wrote:
bbctol wrote:sr71bb:

Why do you type in red? Or do mods just edit your every post?


It's orange-red, because orange is too light, and I'm lazy so it makes it easier for me to find my own posts when reading back. Does it upset/offend you?


I think the main problem is that the mods use red text when editing other peoples' posts, so it looks like all of your post is one big moderation.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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Belial
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Postby Belial » Thu May 03, 2007 1:07 am UTC

I like it. If someone wanted to form a conspiracy theory, they could assume that everything he says is replaced by whatever the mods feel like, and somewhere there is a very frustrated sr71bb who has something VERY IMPORTANT to tell you all, but can't because of us meddling mods.

I am easily entertained.
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They/them

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apricity
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Postby apricity » Thu May 03, 2007 3:11 am UTC

Belial wrote:I like it. If someone wanted to form a conspiracy theory, they could assume that everything he says is replaced by whatever the mods feel like, and somewhere there is a very frustrated sr71bb who has something VERY IMPORTANT to tell you all, but can't because of us meddling mods.

I am easily entertained.


Oh me yarm CONSPIRACY
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it takes just a little practice to learn to be
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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Thu May 03, 2007 3:30 am UTC

Everything is fine, there is no need to panic.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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Syphon
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Postby Syphon » Fri May 04, 2007 2:07 am UTC

Duct tape, hunting knife, night vision goggles, KY Jelly, ultrathin condoms, onion.

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4=5
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Postby 4=5 » Mon May 07, 2007 2:30 am UTC

dmd wrote:This one was accidental, but one of my best and most subtle:

Neosporin, band-aid, box of matzah.


(I've always played it using a special set of rules: 1) Condoms, lube, anything like that is cheating. 2) It's best if you have two items that would be totally innocuous, and a third item which completely changes the meaning/context to make it horrid.)
what's bad about this one?

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dmd
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Postby dmd » Mon May 07, 2007 10:43 pm UTC

Somebody help this poor goy.

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Alcas
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Postby Alcas » Sun May 13, 2007 9:17 pm UTC

Use your imagination on this one:
Duct tape and Alka-Seltzer.

If you can find a supermarket that has it, I suppose you could add Living History by Hillary Clinton for extra freakiness. It wouldn't mean anything in particular but it would still work...
"It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people"

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PatrickRsGhost
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Postby PatrickRsGhost » Mon May 14, 2007 12:33 pm UTC

Some combinations likely to get you some double-takes or strange, horrified looks:

KY Jelly
No-Doz
Pack of Trojans

cheese grater
table salt
duct tape

bag of ice
hacksaw
saran wrap

10-ft. ladder
ceiling hook capable of supporting up to 300 lbs.
1"-thick hemp rope
(bonus points if you mutter "it'll all be over soon")

sleeping pills
kool-aid mix
bottled water
PRG

An important message for you:

010000100110010100100000011100110
111010101110010011001010010000001
110100011011110010000001100101011
000010111010000100000011110010110
111101110101011100100010000001100
010011000010110001101101111011011
1000101110

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Postby mr_snafleburger » Mon May 14, 2007 10:42 pm UTC

the worst i ever got as a cashier was a turkey baster, tampons, and a 2 liter of this dark red generic fruit drink.
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Postby Tetujin » Tue May 15, 2007 5:42 pm UTC

A few years ago a close friend of mine was telling me this story:

So he was in the local grocery store getting lube for, well, it's intended purpose. Right before he goes up to the counter he gets a call from his mother. she asks "Where did you go?" he replies "I went to the [grocery store]" "Oh! While you're there can you pick up some mayonnaise? we're all out." So he stood holding mayo in one hand and lube in the other, and even more unfortunately it was really busy that day so he was standing in line a good 15 mins surrounded on all sides by leering eyes.

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Woxor
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Postby Woxor » Tue May 15, 2007 5:49 pm UTC

For an engineering project a few years ago, my two group partners and I went to Walmart and bought several tubs of Vaseline, and nothing else.

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Postby pavon » Wed May 16, 2007 2:40 am UTC

My best accidental purchase. I was up late working on an art project, and was almost done except for one more part that needed some rubber bands. I figured I'd go to sleep and finish up later, so I could get up in time for work and wouldn't be to tired to go to a party the next night. But an hour and a half latter I still wasn't able to fall asleep, so decided to just run to the 24-hour Walgreens and get what I needed. On the way to the cashier I saw trash bags and realize were were out of ones for the bathroom trashcan, so I grabbed em and headed up to the counter with some small trash bags, heavy duty rubber bands, sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Didn't even realize it until I saw the look on the cashiers face.

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Postby Pixel » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:56 pm UTC

A friend of mine used to try and come up with the most *disgusting* combinations.

Her winner was a package of yest infection treatment and a container of cottage cheese.
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Postby wanderer » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:56 pm UTC

mikekearn wrote:I used to something similar, except I'd drop the stuff in peoples' carts when they aren't looking. Is it much meaner? Yeah, it probably is, but it's oh so much more fun. Especially if you do something like a box of condoms into an old couple's cart, or a tube of KY into a single guy's basket. Things like that.

This is what I and my coworkers would do when I worked at a large grocery store.

Although it was mostly done for humor, on one occasion, it had an ulterior motive.

One regular customer stunk to the high heavens; he wore a hat that read "I'm retired, so I don't need to bathe." And he didn't. Ever.

So while bagging his groceries, I slipped a bar of soap into his goods (he never bought any type of personal hygiene items, not surprisingly) as a hint. The next day he brought the soap back, claiming that he hadn't purchased it, so we could have it back.

As for myself, I am off to the grocery store, right after I introduce myself in the proper forum...

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muteKi
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Re: "Collecting Double-Takes" Discussion

Postby muteKi » Mon Oct 08, 2007 2:46 pm UTC

Apparently the explosm guys got the same idea later, more or less. A bit different but still funny.

Image
Image

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Moo
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Re: "Collecting Double-Takes" Discussion

Postby Moo » Mon Oct 08, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

Not sexually suggestive, I know, but my bf decided to lose some weight, and we had a few friends' birthdays coming up. So I went to the checkout with a month's supply of diet shakes and three boxes of chocolates. Felt a bit weird.
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Surgery
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Re: "Collecting Double-Takes" Discussion

Postby Surgery » Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:36 pm UTC

Best combo I've ever purchased:

-Black spray paint
-Duct tape
-Box of shotgun shells

I needed the shotgun shells as a prop for my photo project, the duct tape to fix my light box, and the spray paint to make a nice flat black background. But they didn't know that!

Also (I've done this too, also on accident) standing in the wal-mart parking lot at around 11 at night (when there's still people there) after you get out of your car with another friend, start fiddling with your oversized hoody, particularly around the collar, and ask your friend "do i look suspicious?", to which he replies "no, do i?". that got a weird look. (we actually were doing something suspicious and illegal that night, and by fiddling with my collar i was trying to hide the two way radio i had hidden there).

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theyellowhobbit
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Re: "Collecting Double-Takes" Discussion

Postby theyellowhobbit » Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:49 am UTC

My friend was once in line in a grocery store and the person in front of her was purchasing baby formula and cigarettes. Though that doesn't come close to what you guys have all come up with.
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Geekthras
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Re: "Collecting Double-Takes" Discussion

Postby Geekthras » Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:15 am UTC

Weedkiller
A measuring spoon for like 1/4 teaspoons
And about 4.5 gallons of vanilla extract.
Wait. With a SPOON?!

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Re: "Collecting Double-Takes" Discussion

Postby briguyd » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:03 am UTC

My girlfriend and I were bored one day and went to the grocery store... Excuse the crappy camera phone picture:

Image


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