Page 1 of 4

0236: "Collecting Double-Takes"

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:24 am UTC
by Gordon
Image
Alt: Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coat hanger.

First off: ROFLMAO. Secondly I think everyone in here should actually go out and try this tomorrow. I'll have to wait til Payday (next Friday) but this would actually be pretty funny to try and see if you can keep a straight face while doing it. I used to be a stock boy all through highschool and the first few years I went to university, I'd say the oddest thing I ever saw someone buying would've been a whole bunch of mouth wash and anti-hangover pills. Though that's more depressing than funny.

Here: http://xkcd.com/c236.html
:evil:

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:36 am UTC
by Pau!
Damn, you're sharp. These threads get made freakin' instantly.

Also; the alt-text, while hilarious, kinda discourages me from trying, because I can't think of anything that will even come close to beating that.

Except maybe...

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:45 am UTC
by warriorness
Randall sure has a lot of hobbies. I wonder if he ever mixes them up sometimes.

A tube of K Why-Jelly...?

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:48 am UTC
by warriorness
Even better than the alt text: A pregnancy test, and a single PLASTIC coat hanger.

That way, in addition to every other conveyed implication, the cashier also thinks you're a blithering idiot.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:02 am UTC
by genewitch
My favorite trick at the store when we're doing a "beer run" is to get just a ton of fifths of vodka and whiskey and rum and cases of beer, and one package of diapers. Then when you get the total, throw the diapers at a friend and say "put em back, don't have enough"


LOL!

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:04 am UTC
by ryan
Nice comic. Once my girlfriend and I went to Target and bought a bottle of caramel and the game "Twister". I thought is was pretty hilarisexy, but she got embarassed and left while I was paying.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:15 am UTC
by Jack Saladin
It's called "Collecting Double-Takes" and IS THIS ENTIRE FORUM COMPLETELY FUCKING INCAPABLE OF READING? HUH!? I FIND THIS EXTREMELY HARD TO BELIEVE, CONSIDERING THIS IS A TEXT BASED MEDIUM, AND THEREFORE THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION IS THAT YOU ARE ALL LEGALLY BLIND AND USE SOME SORT OF TEXT TO SPEECH PROGRAM TO READ OFF WEB PAGES - A TEXT TO SPEECH PROGRAM WHICH HAS BEEN HACKED BY SOMEONE WHO HATES ME IN ORDER TO ENSURE IT IGNORES NOT ONLY THE "RULES" THREAD, BUT ALSO THE "SERIOUSLY READ THE FUCKING RULES THREAD YOU FUCKING MORONS" AS YOU ALL SEEM DETERMINED TO NEVER INCLUDE A LINK WITH YOUR POSTS DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS.

It's not that hard... There's even a conveniently placed link right below every single comic. Like, right there. All you have to do is copy and paste. Not hard, not difficult - I genuinely believe a trained monkey could pull it off.

Not xkcders though. Nooo. That would be far to hard.

OH WAIT, IT'S NOT HARD AT ALL YOU'RE ALL JUST IDIOTS DETERMINED TO INVOKE MY WRATH.

That aside, as the first person to not include a link after my recent announcement, I will quite honestly have to have something horrible done to you. I'll take some time to mull over what it'll be.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:24 am UTC
by thefiddler
Saladin wrote:OH WAIT, IT'S NOT HARD AT ALL YOU'RE ALL JUST IDIOTS DETERMINED TO INVOKE MY WRATH.

Oh noes! You're on to me!

*runs and hides in a corner to avoid invoking Sal's wrath*

Just so you know, I was *really* tempted to call you "Sally" but refrained. One person has already pissed you off enough for one night.

Anyway, the comic. My facial expression was something akin to: O.O when I read it. And then sent it to my friend with "O.O Christ. WTF," to which he promptly replied with "Haha, I'm so doing that next time I'm at the store."

I'm scared, now. Someone hold me. :(

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:08 am UTC
by aldimond
*Holds Caitlin... up in a tiny globe... up high, high in the desolate mountain air, into the sharp first light of the rising sun. Her shadow extends from her perch, long down into the valley below, sinister darkness falling on the creatures that dwell there.*

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:24 am UTC
by Gelsamel
Everyone, lets laugh at Saladin, because he is funny.

lol@Saladin


VOICE OF MOD: -.-

Oh man we totally used to do this.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:28 am UTC
by Myself
The trick was to find a young cashier. The old ones have seen it all and nothing fazes 'em anymore. Our rules didn't specify "two items" though, we had a price limit. Usually five bucks.

Our best: Rubber gloves, flashlight, Vaseline, laxative.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:32 am UTC
by Gordon
Patashu wrote:Hehe caps lock.

Also perhaps he had a mind lapse and looked at the image's title instead of the page's title? I know I make slips up like that sometimes.

That is exactly correct.

Seems it would have been easier to just add the link to my post than go off like that, but meh my mistake. I'm not trying to provoke you Saladin but do me a favour and go to http://xkcd.com/current/ (which is what I go to). Yes I guess I should have actually looked at the page for a title. Anyway these threads are usually made one minute after Randall uploads the comic and since the time on my post ends in :24 you can imagine my surprise that I had to start the thread to begin with.

Anyway no hard feelings, but I assure you I am not a "moron". Alright I forgot the link so we'll say half-moron.

Under $5

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:45 am UTC
by BobCat
KY. Fleet enema, condoms, rubber gloves.

Hopefully, you have a date waiting in the car.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:37 am UTC
by ohki
A turkey baster and a watermelon. Sure its not sexual or shocking... but there's something hilarious about the combination.

Alternative... KY, a box of plastic wrap.... and a watermelon

Gordon wrote:Seems it would have been easier to just add the link to my post than go off like that, but meh my mistake. I'm not trying to provoke you Saladin but do me a favour and go to http://xkcd.com/current/ (which is what I go to).


Don't you miss the most humorous alt-text then?

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:14 am UTC
by benmcm
I work at a super market (grocery store) at the moment to save money for University.

Trust me, nothing phases me about what people buy. You get enough random things when they're not trying to confuse you. And after you've explained to someone what "Buy one get one free" means, I think you're prepared for most eventualities.

The best is men buying tampons though, they always look so nervous and sheepish.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:02 am UTC
by Gordon
ohki wrote:Don't you miss the most humorous alt-text then?

Ya, I had to go to the actual page to grab that. To be honest I usually just come *here* to read the new comic since, like I said, someone usually jumps on it right after it's been uploaded. I'm sorry I messed up the format so much, I'll make sure to never start another one of these threads again, I apologize.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:17 am UTC
by LE4dGOLEM
Gordon wrote:
ohki wrote:Don't you miss the most humorous alt-text then?

Ya, I had to go to the actual page to grab that. To be honest I usually just come *here* to read the new comic since, like I said, someone usually jumps on it right after it's been uploaded. I'm sorry I messed up the format so much, I'll make sure to never start another one of these threads again, I apologize.


You went to the actual page, requiring some kind of URL to get there, and missed it?

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:14 pm UTC
by hermaj
Look, everyone just drop it and get on with talking about the comic. I love that the moderators so bent on Gordon following the link rule are stomping all over the keep on topic one.


I for one am going to be very observant in the produce aisle from now on.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:23 pm UTC
by predatormc
If anyone in the UK (possibly elsewhere) remembers those Kellogs drop a jean size adverts, they now realise why I wince every time I see that woman straining to jip her jeans up with a coathanger.
DIY dilation and evacuation argh.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:59 pm UTC
by LE4dGOLEM
predatormc wrote:If anyone in the UK (possibly elsewhere) remembers those Kellogs drop a jean size adverts, they now realise why I wince every time I see that woman straining to jip her jeans up with a coathanger.
DIY dilation and evacuation argh.



I shall from henceforth never watch television again :shock:

soup

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:06 pm UTC
by Quake
Buying a six inch nail and a bouillon cube at spring equinox.
If in Scandinavia. In other places, exchange the nail with a stone :?


Keep on observing 8)

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:04 pm UTC
by bippy
Well at least Saladin is rational, civil, and has a good sense of perspective that fits with the light-hearted tone of a thread created to appreciate a good laugh so as to not ruin the fun of others with an over-serious, caps lock riddled rant.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:47 pm UTC
by tylerni7
Well if your in the produce section and already have the K-Y Jelly, buy a cucumber or something. I'm sure that'll get a few double takes.

Overall, I think I'd go with the K-Y, a bottle of vodka, and a children's movie like The Polar Express or something. (Most stores don't have a wide selection of movies, if any at all, but Super Stop & Shop has new releases and stuff)

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:04 pm UTC
by Subpoena
My best is a box of 12 condoms, a pack of 6 ping-pong balls, and 4 Glo-sticks.

I went in to get condoms, because I had run out, and pong balls, for beer-pong that night, and then randomly spotted Glo-sticks for $0.50 each.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:06 pm UTC
by x-virge
I like to play the inverse of this game in my head:

When standing in line at the cashier, look at what combinations of items other people have and imagine what sick, sick things they're planning.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:22 pm UTC
by space_raptor
What if you had a pregnancy test, a coat hanger, and duct tape?

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:29 pm UTC
by saxmaniac1987
What's also kinda disturbing is when you see an elderly man or lady buying condoms in with the rest of his/her groceries... I've seen it multiple times, and its kind of funny knowing that they're gettin' it on that night...

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:34 pm UTC
by Silverbolt
I found today's comic inspiring.

To the Supermarket!

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:15 pm UTC
by Corvin
eh, the radio station i work at runs contests like that all the time: "what's the oddest collection of items you can purchase for sexual pleasure AND a double-take from the cashier?"

usually the winner gets a gift certificate to a fetish store.

Corvin

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:18 pm UTC
by German Sausage
optimus prime mask and 4 liters of custard. we would have gotten my friend's body weight, but we couldn't be arsed carrying it home. it would have only cost about $15 too, because the custard was two days off expiring. we woke him up by pouring custard on his tummy.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:19 pm UTC
by harleypig
I had a girlfriend who taught me this game. My favorite was the following:

Stand in line with a tube of K-Y Jelly, a single potato and a spatula. She would call me (she'd be in the car where she could see the cashier so she would know when to call) and I would tell her what I had. She would say it wasn't enough so I'd race back and get a second tube of K-Y Jelly and a bottle of chocolate syrup.

We tried acting excited and bored. The bored routine got much better responses.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:04 pm UTC
by Pau!
^That was an excellent first post.

Greetings, sir! And welcome to the fora.


Although not disgusting, I do get confused looks from cashiers when I buy a pack of soy burgers and, say, lamb.

If you're a dude: Skimpy lingerie+camera film+shaving cream.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:37 pm UTC
by Nuclear Summer
As soon as I saw the words "My Hobby:" I was immediately put in a great mood, and the comic just made it better.

This one was from an old ass-topic from a few years ago on another board, it's been my quote there for a while:

1.A box of condoms
2.An adult batman costume
3.A child sized robin costume

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:16 pm UTC
by TheTankengine
Nuclear Summer wrote:As soon as I saw the words "My Hobby:" I was immediately put in a great mood, and the comic just made it better.

This one was from an old ass-topic from a few years ago on another board, it's been my quote there for a while:

1.A box of condoms
2.An adult batman costume
3.A child sized robin costume


Haha! Win.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:25 pm UTC
by Mix
And I always just tried to combine other people's food purchases into a single bizarre dish. Apparently the internets have not corrupted me enough yet.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:42 pm UTC
by Rockapotamus
This comic immediately reminded me of the part in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk where the guy went to the store, bought a carrot and some KY, and went home and did some things to himself with it.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:51 pm UTC
by aldimond
Rockapotamus wrote:This comic immediately reminded me of the part in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk where the guy went to the store, bought a carrot and some KY, and went home and did some things to himself with it.


OK, dude, you seriously have to stop getting me aroused at work.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:59 pm UTC
by matts2
benmcm wrote:The best is men buying tampons though, they always look so nervous and sheepish.


I used to feel that way, then someone pointed out that it is not like I was going to use them or something. Now I do it with a bit of a swagger: "I got a woman!"

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:59 pm UTC
by MythGuyDK
aldimond wrote:
Rockapotamus wrote:This comic immediately reminded me of the part in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk where the guy went to the store, bought a carrot and some KY, and went home and did some things to himself with it.


OK, dude, you seriously have to stop getting me aroused at work.

ewwww....

Here's two combos: Largest watermelon in the store.... and a couple tubes of KY.

And.... KY, cucumber, frying pan.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 9:10 pm UTC
by LE4dGOLEM
Astroglide > KY