FireZs wrote:Lamiakuei wrote:Okay, you know what?
Your family, your business. It doesn't matter to us.
But I know what it's like to be saddled with a boyfriend who was acceptable as a friend but a total pussy-drier as a boyfriend. He was the one attracted to me. He was the one who asked me to be his girlfriend right off the bat. Fine. I dated him, to see if I could ease into an attraction for him.
Didn't take. And as a friend, I couldn't tell him point blank that I was uncomfortable about how he just wasn't well-read or interesting enough for me. How if I were to confide in him my problems, he would brush them off in typical "deal with it another day" fashion. How he would always be attempting to borrow money from me that I knew he would not pay back. How he WHINED about how I wasn't going to have sex when we were in high school and without contraceptives.
You think I liked that? It was nice and comfortable. We didn't fight. Mostly because we had nothing in common and he had no opinions on the things I was interested in and vice versa for me. It was easy. Day in, day out, go see him, kiss and make out. I could've gone for years on this familiarity alone. But did we? No. He dumped me over the phone and picked up a new girl within three days. Apparently, I was too unconventional and it embarrassed him in public the way I was, as his girlfriend, when before, I was fine as a friend.
Who wants to settle? Who wants to be in a relationship so inoffensive, so nonconfrontational, there is no passion, no ardor, no spark? Why is it that the speaker of the comic gets all the sympathy, when the girl is the one who silently suffers and floats in a malaise of polite relationshipness?
A relationship can chug along fine to outsiders, but inside it can be completely different. A basic lack of attraction did my first relationship in. I didn't think he was sexy. I didn't think his conversation was interesting. But you know, he's so nice. So generically unoffensive. Surely I must be missing something about him? No. No, I had not.
The both of us were immature and so on and so forth.
But if some clown with his lack of attractiveness to me the same way as my first boyfriend tried to weasel his way in instead of being up front and making an honest attempt the way I did? No. NO, I will not tolerate a boyfriend, I will love.
Wow. A situation where you would have been better off HAD HE NOT ASKED YOU OUT UPFRONT. Mind-blowing.
I'm getting the impression that you wanted any and all relationships that do not have any egregarious problems like beatings to be maintained, no matter the situation, just because they are in a relationship.
I'm just saying that it would be even WORSE if he had weaseled his way in and I had less clarity to draw the line between friend and boyfriend. For the both of us, it would've been much nastier to endure.