0562: "Parking"

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civver
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby civver » Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:18 pm UTC

He asked for it. Black Hat Man doesn't take crap from anybody.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Domovoi » Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:23 pm UTC

It's been some years, but ran into this situation. Parked in the spot next to them and kicked the car door to dent it in. I was in my friends car, it was dented up in the process, never got to borrow it again.


And then it turns out that he had to park that way because the guy next to him parked like a jackass, and there was no more room. Congratulations, you left a guy who was as much a victim as you were with a dented car door and a hundred bucks worth of damage.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby mysticRight » Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:34 pm UTC

Spacemilk wrote:The parking garage at my apartment is very small and the spaces are very tight, so parking is never very fun. Also you are almost guaranteed not to find a spot if you are trying to park anytime after 8 p.m. In spite of this, there's this jackass who - every goddamn day - will double park his Hummer right after work until the next morning. Granted it's huge enough that it barely fits in one space anyway, but it's still a pretty jackass move. I've considered keying it, breaking off a mirror, and in weaker moments I've thought about leaving a nice little note asking him to please not do it again.

But now . . . NOW I know what I'm going to do to that ###!@&@& Hummer.


I can relate. When I was in college I lived in an apartment right across from campus for three years. The town has a horrible parking problem as it is, but this complex is the worst. Same situation, arrive after 8pm and you were not finding a spot. You ended up having to park a mile away and walk. There was nowhere closer since everywhere you go you need a parking decal and towing is rampant. There was one guy who drove a unnecessarily huge truck, like an F-350 or something, and would always take up two spots. When he wasn't taking two on purpose, he would haphazardly park and render the spot next to him useless. My friend used to steal the stuff that was left in the truck bed in order to get back at him.

Now, there is another type of asshole that contributed to this parking problem. The spots were very small there too, and larger cars would barely fit in them. However, this parking lot had a line of wider spots (about eight) specifically for the larger vehicles to park in. Most people were considerate and parked their normal size cars in the regular spots, but there was this one f---head who would always park his little mazda miata in the largest of the 8 spots, thus forcing the truck to take up two spots. I agree with the guy earlier who said that acts of revenge on assholes should be decriminalized. I would have loved to get these guys back.
Last edited by mysticRight on Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:42 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Kailen » Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:36 pm UTC

Spacemilk wrote:
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


That would be correct. If you are enough of a tool to drive an unnecessarily large car like a hummer or a huge truck, then you can pay for it by parking a mile away and walking to make up at least a little for what you're doing to the environment.


And if you have a business that requires such a vehicle becuase you are routinely required to transport a large amount of items from one place to another you should be given access to a car crusher, so that you can make sure the cars of all the "greenik" assholes who can't fathom why someone would NEED a large car are TRUE compacts.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Sprocket » Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:37 pm UTC

That's not the action of a classhole, that's a class warrior.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Spacemilk » Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:06 pm UTC

Kailen wrote:
Spacemilk wrote:
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


That would be correct. If you are enough of a tool to drive an unnecessarily large car like a hummer or a huge truck, then you can pay for it by parking a mile away and walking to make up at least a little for what you're doing to the environment.


And if you have a business that requires such a vehicle becuase you are routinely required to transport a large amount of items from one place to another you should be given access to a car crusher, so that you can make sure the cars of all the "greenik" assholes who can't fathom why someone would NEED a large car are TRUE compacts.


I'm originally from Kansas where everyone and their grandmother owns a utility truck and they actually use it for what it's intended; I have no problem with that. I currently live in downtown Houston, where you will frequently see oversized trucks and Hummers without a speck of dirt on them, that will obviously never be used for any useful purpose other than making its owner's phallus appear larger. Maybe someday they will use it to help their friend move a couch from one apartment to another. Hooray.

I sort of assumed people would be reasonable and figure out I wasn't talking about the people who actually use those vehicles appropriately, so I figured I didn't need to double the length of my post listing out all the obvious exceptions. But thank you, sir, for making me instead make ANOTHER post enumerating what I thought was obvious. Now I feel like an ass; instead of double-parking I've double-posted. :(
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby tsevenhuysen » Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:48 pm UTC

I love it.

If only there were no consequences... And if only I owned a blowtorch.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Skispcs » Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:52 pm UTC

xuth wrote:I would think that a saws-all or an angle grinder would work far more efficiently than a cutting torch, but maybe I'm over thinking the problem.


With an Oxy-Acetylene torch I can get through the average car in less than an hour. The fun part would be the fuel tank and lines.

When i used to work in a scrap yard we would remove the fuel tank and associated parts then let the car sit for a day to let any vapor evaporate before beginning to cut. The oxy-acetylene torch was also the tool of choice when customizing cars like chopping the opt off and removing part of the pillars for that lowered look.

Leaving a note or a copy of this comic is a great idea, but as far as keying or vandalizing a poorly parked car you are even worse of an asshole than the person parking.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Tephlon » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:04 pm UTC

Re: The Smart double parking:
I've driven a Smart, and I've had problems in the beginning when parking. If you're not used to the fact that they basically end behind the front seats, you need to relearn parking...
Still, unacceptable parking it in 2 spots.

It does remind me of my friend whose neighbor would park his car on the sidewalk in front of both their houses (Duplex). After asking the guy nicely several times to not do it, I helped my friend dig two trenches, about a meter deep, both in front and behind the car. Took us about 2 hours, in the middle of the night.
My friend said it was worth seeing his face the next morning. :twisted: it took him about 3 hours to get the car out. We had of course moved the sand to a different location. :-)

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Kailen » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:09 pm UTC

I have a moderately sized SUV. Only seats 5, not one of the behemoths, but I bought it for several reasons. First, I have moved five times since I bought it. Which means routinely filling my car with as much as it can carry and driving it to one location or another (either to storage, or just take a car load of my most important things to take with me to my new residence). Second, despite the fact that I was living in Arizona at the time and had absolutely no plans of going off road, I knew I'd be eventually heading to where I currently live, North Dakota, where in the past two days we've had yet another near foot of snow fall. (Yes, it is near the end of March and we are having a blizzard. This is normal.) I wanted a car with ABS, AWD, and a good ride height. My car may be utterly filthy right now, but I do plan on getting it washed again when the roads finally dry.

I can't tell you how many times I've run into ignorant "environmental" assholes who just start going off at the first sign of an SUV. "Why would anyone need a car like that? Nobody needs cars that big. Wasting fuel, destroying the world, oh the humanity!" blah blah blah blah. Well, I've already explained why *I* needed a car like that, however, I find it flat out OFFENSIVE that I even have to. It's not up to *YOU* to determine what *I* can drive, and why. No more than I need to explain to you what I eat for dinner, or why. (MEAT, in case you're curious.) I know full well what kind of fuel millage I get (rather good for a vehicle my size) and already freaking KNOW what it's going to cost me, even if the gas prices climb to obscene amounts (they're still cheaper than Europe's). As for the environmental impact, it's virtually NIL, as with every other damn car on the road. That volcanic eruption earlier this month put out more "harmful" gasses than all the driving in the world for the next five years. And, get this, the Earth has countless built in fail safes for all KINDS of conditions. It regulates itself far better than our meager interference ever could. The Earth, no, the whole Solar system goes through cycles of temperature, natural, which are REQUIRED for the well being of the ecosystem. But forget the environmental argument for now, because it STILL feels like trying to justify something that doesn't need justification.

Now, you can backpedal from your statement all you like. "Well, obviously I didn't mean *YOU*." Yea, heard that before too. Doesn't matter, you still made the statement, you still wedged your foot firmly into your mouth and are trying to pry it out. Too late. In my world, you bitch about big cars for simply being big cars, yours gets cubed. No exceptions, no appeals. I'd crush bikes too, it don't matter.

How lucky you are not to live in BHG's world, or in mine.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby BHM » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:16 pm UTC

... so... back to the comic...

I think we need a fan-strip of how the Black Hat Girl would handle the situation. :) Mines, any one?

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Aluminus » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:16 pm UTC

Looks like Black Hat Guy inspired some real-life destruction:
Spoiler:
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fyrenwater wrote:Oh dear God, I just imagined this horrible scenario of a psychotic non-people-person running around, trying to steal the people-person section of people-peoples' brains to implant into their own brain.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby spirov92 » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:29 pm UTC

I ride a bike to school, but I'm still not safe from these assholes. The exit from my school that most people use is only 1.5m(4 feet) wide, and it saves me from going around the goddamn block. And often there's some asshole who parks across it. The room left is (barely) enough for a walker to squeeze true. So my point is: where can I find a cutting torch? Or should I try the Auto-Troll Shuffle?

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Spacemilk » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:30 pm UTC

Kailen wrote:I have a moderately sized SUV. Only seats 5, not one of the behemoths, but I bought it for several reasons. First, I have moved five times since I bought it. Which means routinely filling my car with as much as it can carry and driving it to one location or another (either to storage, or just take a car load of my most important things to take with me to my new residence). Second, despite the fact that I was living in Arizona at the time and had absolutely no plans of going off road, I knew I'd be eventually heading to where I currently live, North Dakota, where in the past two days we've had yet another near foot of snow fall. (Yes, it is near the end of March and we are having a blizzard. This is normal.) I wanted a car with ABS, AWD, and a good ride height. My car may be utterly filthy right now, but I do plan on getting it washed again when the roads finally dry.

I can't tell you how many times I've run into ignorant "environmental" assholes who just start going off at the first sign of an SUV. "Why would anyone need a car like that? Nobody needs cars that big. Wasting fuel, destroying the world, oh the humanity!" blah blah blah blah. Well, I've already explained why *I* needed a car like that, however, I find it flat out OFFENSIVE that I even have to. It's not up to *YOU* to determine what *I* can drive, and why. No more than I need to explain to you what I eat for dinner, or why. (MEAT, in case you're curious.) I know full well what kind of fuel millage I get (rather good for a vehicle my size) and already freaking KNOW what it's going to cost me, even if the gas prices climb to obscene amounts (they're still cheaper than Europe's). As for the environmental impact, it's virtually NIL, as with every other damn car on the road. That volcanic eruption earlier this month put out more "harmful" gasses than all the driving in the world for the next five years. And, get this, the Earth has countless built in fail safes for all KINDS of conditions. It regulates itself far better than our meager interference ever could. The Earth, no, the whole Solar system goes through cycles of temperature, natural, which are REQUIRED for the well being of the ecosystem. But forget the environmental argument for now, because it STILL feels like trying to justify something that doesn't need justification.

Now, you can backpedal from your statement all you like. "Well, obviously I didn't mean *YOU*." Yea, heard that before too. Doesn't matter, you still made the statement, you still wedged your foot firmly into your mouth and are trying to pry it out. Too late. In my world, you bitch about big cars for simply being big cars, yours gets cubed. No exceptions, no appeals. I'd crush bikes too, it don't matter.

How lucky you are not to live in BHG's world, or in mine.


First of all, I didn't mean you and I'm not going to backpedal from my statement. It's unfortunate that you are overly sensitive to something that obviously wasn't meant for you, but you didn't stop for the two seconds necessary to realize that. You own a moderately sized SUV in an area where a small car would be stupid and unsafe, due to road conditions frequently being terrible; I already mentioned I'm from the country, where it sucked hard to drive a small car down a muddy road - a truck is so much better. Now would you please calm down? I'm not being an ecofreak, I'm being an efficiency and conservation freak. It's just not necessary.

Also I didn't bitch about "big cars for simply being big cars". I'm sorry I didn't make a laundry list of exceptions so all the anal-retentive overly sensitive pricks wouldn't feel insulted by something that obviously wasn't meant for them. I'm also sorry that in your world a hummer driven only through downtown Houston (trust me, driving conditions sure are tough in the winter, you gotta have that 4WD just in case the pavement gets a little slick on the one day of rain we had this winter) can be lumped with a small SUV driven in North Dakota. I'm sort of boggled that you would make that unreasonable assumption in the first place.

Lastly, I'm glad you took the time to point out that 1 car in several million will have a nearly nil environmental impact, because of course it takes no natural resources whatsoever to make a large car. You made a wonderful jump in reasoning to figure (a) I meant global warming, and (b) you of course can't make 2 whole cars or really anything else useful out of the metal it takes to make 1 Hummer and the requisite (c) if every one person had the sort of selfish outlook you do we'd be farther in the crapper than we already are. You are only making yourself sound as unreasonable as your ecofreak friends.

I'm done posting on this. If you would like to continue this conversation you can PM me, but please try not to go looking for ways to take offense as you have in the last few posts.
Last edited by Spacemilk on Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:31 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Korarnithlas » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:30 pm UTC

dennisw wrote:I'm going to print copies of this comic and start leaving them on windshields


^_^ You, along with Randall, are officially one of my heroes. I didn't even consider this wonderful idea until you said it.

:twisted: Now I'm going to keep a small stack of copies in my car.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Angrist » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:39 pm UTC

I find it hilarious that large cars are commonly put down upon for their poor fuel economy when often times they actually aren't that bad. Case in point: At 70 miles an hour for interstate driving (legal speed limit here in Florida), my '92 Buick Roadmaster (wider than a Chevy Suburban; really huge boat - and it was inherited, not my choice) gets 27 mpg - better than my roommate's '95 Corolla, which gets 25. Of course, in-town mileage is a nightmare, but that's why I have a '77 Peugeot 103 moped...

As for the disabling or damaging of cars that park annoyingly, there are far better methods than keying or kicking... one is to take the drive wheels of the car and put them up on blocks so they are 1/16" off the ground. Wheels just spin and spin. Another good way is to pull the old Beverly Hills Cop trick of a "banana in the tailpipe." This has the advantage of allowing them to clear the parking spot, but killing the motor as they're driving along, hopefully causing them to get a ticket for double parking on the street :)

Edit: Another note: I always laugh at those who claim that they're helping the environment by buying a Prius, when an H3 does less damage environmentally over the lifespans of the vehicles (the nickel mining for the batteries is pretty evil... worse than strip mining for coal, and I know something about that).
Last edited by Angrist on Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:41 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby dennisw » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:40 pm UTC

Spacemilk wrote:Now I feel like an ass; instead of double-parking I've double-posted. :(

xkcdparking.png
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Sprocket » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:43 pm UTC

:-) double post.

tsevenhuysen wrote:I love it.

If only there were no consequences... And if only I owned a blowtorch.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby poirelli » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:44 pm UTC

Spacemilk wrote:
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


That would be correct. If you are enough of a tool to drive an unnecessarily large car like a hummer or a huge truck, then you can pay for it by parking a mile away and walking to make up at least a little for what you're doing to the environment.


How about oversized biodiesel trucks? Should these drivers be subject to the same ridicule. Before you complain, I'm truly sorry if you have to post a third time. I just think it's worth pointing out that large vehicles are necessary (already discussed) and that there are some large vehicles which are more eco-friendly than much smaller mid-sized SUVs or sedans.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Kyberely » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:04 pm UTC

Someone once parked across a friend of mines driveway in the morning before they had gone out. Her dad and brothers were quite strong so about five minutes after he had gone they just lifted it up and placed it on the other side of the street.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby pinkgothic » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:08 pm UTC

This has reminded me of youparklikeanasshole.com. Which could now read "youdontparklikeaclasshole.com". Or, if you'd like to be more verbose "youmadethemistakenottoparklikeaclasshole.com".

I'm surprised how many sites like this there are, by the way. youparklikeanasshole was the only one I knew until today.

Edit: They have excellent flyers, though.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Spacemilk » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:25 pm UTC

poirelli wrote:
Spacemilk wrote:
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


That would be correct. If you are enough of a tool to drive an unnecessarily large car like a hummer or a huge truck, then you can pay for it by parking a mile away and walking to make up at least a little for what you're doing to the environment.


How about oversized biodiesel trucks? Should these drivers be subject to the same ridicule. Before you complain, I'm truly sorry if you have to post a third time. I just think it's worth pointing out that large vehicles are necessary (already discussed) and that there are some large vehicles which are more eco-friendly than much smaller mid-sized SUVs or sedans.


The word of the day is "necessary." Knowing this word entirely negates your post, yet you managed to use it without realizing this.

I give up. Next time I will provide an annotated list spelling out in precise detail the exceptions any normal human being would think are obvious. Are you guys lawyers or something?

Edit: Or maybe you are successfully trolling me . . . if so kudos to you, ya got me. :( Also can we have a second word of the day? "Reasonable." Yes/no?
Last edited by Spacemilk on Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:37 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby phillipsjk » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:27 pm UTC

DSDM wrote:Situations like this are why they need to enact a "The Asshole Had It Coming" law, where acts of revenge against obvious acts of complete asshattery would be decriminalized. Obviously the revenge would have to be reasonable. It wouldn't apply if you blew the parker's knees off with a shotgun. Punching him in the face or keying his car would be reduced to a minor infraction. Retributions of an ironic or poetically appropriate nature, as depicted in this comic, would get you off scot-free. We would also accept slashing the tires or otherwise preventing the mobility of the vehicle, so that the driver would be forced to stay parked there.

I believe such a law would result in a more polite and considerate society. Either that or we'd all kill each other off. Either way, fewer douchbags.


As far as I can tell, this is how the law works already. There is no way for anybody to have a complete understanding of the law. Lawyers have libraries of information to consult. If lawyers doesn't know the law from memory, how can the average person be expected to? Police officers are allowed to use discretion: not every jaywalker gets a ticket, for example.

You seem to miss one important implication of the alt text: "Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it." The implication seems to be that the bystanders witnessed what BHG was doing and chose to do nothing. One poster even suggested that some of the bystanders may have HELPED move the one half of the car!

Lawmakers cannot pass a law explicitly saying you can ignore the law. Vigilantism is a real problem: vigilantes are not known for checking all the facts before acting. For example, some people mentioned the standards slide when snow covers the road markings.

PS: I would have missed dennisw's sideways post if I was using Lynx today :P
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Wes Janson » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:30 pm UTC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbwXIfS2nEs

Convert pesky cars into modern art sculptures in seconds!

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby duane534 » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:33 pm UTC

I'll admit that I pretty regularly double park to protect my new truck, but I ALWAYS do it at the far reach of the parking lot. Partially to be courteous, but just as much to avoid this. LOL

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby duane534 » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:44 pm UTC

Angrist wrote:I always laugh at those who claim that they're helping the environment by buying a Prius, when an H3 does less damage environmentally over the lifespans of the vehicles (the nickel mining for the batteries is pretty evil... worse than strip mining for coal, and I know something about that).


They're working on that. The next-gen Prius is set to use Li-Ion instead of NiMh. Same for the Insight.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Random832 » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:54 pm UTC

DSDM wrote:Situations like this are why they need to enact a "The Asshole Had It Coming" law, where acts of revenge against obvious acts of complete asshattery would be decriminalized. Obviously the revenge would have to be reasonable. It wouldn't apply if you blew the parker's knees off with a shotgun. Punching him in the face or keying his car would be reduced to a minor infraction.


The real problem is the way damages are assessed. One key scratch should NOT legitimately be considered worth an entire paint job. Not even if it _was_ in perfect condition before.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Jedifreak » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:56 pm UTC

I wonder if anyone has ever done this? And if so, I'm not sure if a court of law would prosecute it.
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Midna » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:06 pm UTC

In my boyfriend's apartment complex, the entire line of parking spaces are too small. As a result, even if I park PERFECTLY centered, I open the car door and the line is right at my feet. Same on the passenger size. I often drive a Civic.

There is this one doucebag with a HUGE truck that likes to park right in the middle of this line of too small parking spaces, and then he parks always slightly to the left. As a result, every car down the line has to park crooked, and at the end of the line, its too small for any car to fit into, so that poor person has to go parallel park a 10 minute walk from their own apartment.

Everytime I see that truck do this, I will place this comic on their windshield. Maybe the scumbag will get the hint, that if you can't maneuver your small battleship, you don't deserve to have it.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Capn Squid » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:29 pm UTC

When I was about 13, my dad got transferred across the country. For most of that fall, I was the New Kid. So you can imagine my joy when a neighbor kid called me up to see if I wanted to go Christmas shopping with him and his big brother and a couple of other guys.

As you can imagine, the parking lot on a Saturday in December was a nightmare. We drove around for quite a while without seeing any open spots. There was one guy who took two parking spots with his shiny blue Miata, though. The third time we drove down that row, the guys decided that we'd move him out of the way and take the other spot. So the five of us hopped out, and I (pencil-necked geek that I am) pretended to help these giants move the front end of the Miata over to one side. As we went to the back of the car, I said, "Hang on a minute, guys."

Sure, it meant that we had to park a half-mile away, but the sight of the Miata parked perpendicularly to the other cars was worth it. I'd like to think that it was parked between a couple of clerks who worked 'til eleven, and was stuck there well into the night.

All I know for sure is that the guys thought I was twisted and evil. I liked that.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Voco » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:34 pm UTC

duane534 wrote:They're working on that. The next-gen Prius is set to use Li-Ion instead of NiMh. Same for the Insight.


Because of course it matters how environmentally friendly is ANOTHER car with the same model name, made in the hypothetical future. The fact that other cars branded similarly in the future will not be so bad doesn't make the current ones any better.

But that's unfair; I'm just upset after reading all these comments.

I am a considerate driver. Too considerate, really. Nobody wants to let me drive (though since I alone of my friends don't drink, I end up driving fairly frequently anyway), because I will take this to an extreme. I will almost never take action that forces another driver to observe and react to my moves. If there's not enough space to change lanes without forcing another car to slow down, I will not change lanes. This isn't as much of a hassle as people tend to assume, though. I miss a few turns here and there, and sometimes a trip takes me 15 minutes longer than it would otherwise, but It's not the end of the world.

Anyway, I am just appalled at the number of people who actually support damaging other people's cars. The comic is funny, but like all of the Class-hole's antics, I assumed it to be a complete fiction. I too think of yellow lines as impenetrable barriers, (This is so ingrained in me that I sometimes worry I wouldn't have the presence of mind in an emergency to remember that I CAN cross them to avoid collision), and it is funny to see their ruling applied so literally. But for me it was "Haha, a literal application of the symbolic purpose of dividing lines!" not "I've always wanted to do that to someone's car."

I've never been afraid of parking lots, but now I am. Will you people "key" my car for imagined slights? I do my best to make sure no one (except any passengers) could possibly be upset by my driving, (within the limits of the law. There's a section of 25 mph road near my house where almost all people drive 45, but whereon I drive a precise 24 mph at all times. That annoys people, I'm sure, but I'm not going to break the law for their convenience.) but I do it out of respect, not fear. Now I'm terrified that one of you people will smash my windows in for some imagined slight. "You drive a small RED car!? Didn't you know red is the most environmentally unfriendly color to produce? And that by having a small car you increase the ratio of surface area to interior volume, thus requiring proportionately more red paint? Take THAT, heathen!"

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Chfan
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Chfan » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:45 pm UTC

This is the first xkcd in a while that has made me laugh out loud, annoyingly.
Just FYI, the guy isn't avatar isn't me. But he seems pretty cool.

RoseDeNose
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby RoseDeNose » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm UTC

Ever since I started driving, I've had fantasies of lightsabers existing for exactly this purpose.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Angrist » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:47 pm UTC

Now I'm terrified that one of you people will smash my windows in for some imagined slight. "You drive a small RED car!? Didn't you know red is the most environmentally unfriendly color to produce? And that by having a small car you increase the ratio of surface area to interior volume, thus requiring proportionately more red paint? Take THAT, heathen!"


Don't worry about me doing so - I just laugh at other people's idiocy in not looking up the facts - ignorantia juris non excusat and all that.

When it comes to pranks, here's my beliefs:
1) No physical danger to bystanders or targets (no reason for lawsuits, plus it's not nice)
2) Easily reversible (once the means are provided)
3) Causes massive amounts of annoyance
4) No physical destruction (but disorganization is fine)

Thus slashing tires is mean, but removing the valve stems and leaving them in an envelope under the windshield wiper is hilarious. (Better if you can remove the valves from the car - but you'd have to pop the hood for that...)

And if someone really irritated me with their parking job, I have a car built on a truck chassis, a come-along, and 25 feet of 3/8" shot-peened chain... moving it is not a problem.

Side note: How do you know you're moving at 24 mph exactly? Federal law requires that speedometers only be accurate to within 5%... so you could be driving along at 25.2 mph! Oh, the horror...

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fenrir_darkwolf
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby fenrir_darkwolf » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:52 pm UTC

LMAO, that was amazing. Dunno why, i thought the alt-text should've been: "trivial solution already exists."
"You're gonna have to learn everything anyway, so which is first is not essential."
-Richard Feynman

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poirelli
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby poirelli » Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:52 pm UTC

Spacemilk wrote:
poirelli wrote:
Spacemilk wrote:
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


That would be correct. If you are enough of a tool to drive an unnecessarily large car like a hummer or a huge truck, then you can pay for it by parking a mile away and walking to make up at least a little for what you're doing to the environment.


How about oversized biodiesel trucks? Should these drivers be subject to the same ridicule. Before you complain, I'm truly sorry if you have to post a third time. I just think it's worth pointing out that large vehicles are necessary (already discussed) and that there are some large vehicles which are more eco-friendly than much smaller mid-sized SUVs or sedans.


The word of the day is "necessary." Knowing this word entirely negates your post, yet you managed to use it without realizing this.

I give up. Next time I will provide an annotated list spelling out in precise detail the exceptions any normal human being would think are obvious. Are you guys lawyers or something?

Edit: Or maybe you are successfully trolling me . . . if so kudos to you, ya got me. :( Also can we have a second word of the day? "Reasonable." Yes/no?


Now before you get your knickers in a bunch, maybe you could take the time to thoroughly digest my post before criticizing my dictionary skills. If you notice, I commented that the necessity of such vehicles had already been addressed earlier. I discarded this point because of that exact discussion which you took part in.

On to the rest of my post. The intent of my post was to merely point out that there are many unnecessarily large cars which have less of a negative impact on the environment than some smaller cars such as mid-sized SUVs and sedans. I'm not trolling you and I'm not trying to incite another angry response. I was simply pointing out another side to the discussion on driving large vehicles. After all, this is a forum. In case you weren't sure, it's generally a place for open discussion on a topic of choice. I just wanted to discuss some alternatives to your short-sighted view of all unnecessarily-large-vehicle drivers as being "tools" and this seemed like an appropriate place to do so.

EDIT: Sorry, I promise no more nested quotes from this point forward.

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Iridos
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Iridos » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:16 pm UTC

Voco wrote:
Anyway, I am just appalled at the number of people who actually support damaging other people's cars.


Indeed - I wondered if I'm the only one to notice, how sitting into a car turns apparently sane and normal people into incredibly intolerant and violence-prone... well, assholes.

I mean - come on, "keying" a car or denting in the door and such causing a damage of possibly several hundred dollars/euro, because the guy couldn't park straight? What do you do if someone accidentally steps on your foot in a queue - beat him up with a couple of friends in a dark back alley?

I'm pretty much sure, that everyone shouting here has at least once acted in traffic in a way that was dangerous and/or could warrant the same level of aggression as shown here.

C'mon guys, try to not piss others off yourself, but also be tolerant to others mistakes - there probably was some reason, even if it wasn't a good one and while it's ok to get keyed up a bit, there's really not much of a point to it. You probably cannot educate people and you definitely shouldn't try to do so by damaging their property.

I.

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Spacemilk
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Spacemilk » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:43 pm UTC

poirelli wrote:Now before you get your knickers in a bunch, maybe you could take the time to thoroughly digest my post before criticizing my dictionary skills. If you notice, I commented that the necessity of such vehicles had already been addressed earlier. I discarded this point because of that exact discussion which you took part in.

On to the rest of my post. The intent of my post was to merely point out that there are many unnecessarily large cars which have less of a negative impact on the environment than some smaller cars such as mid-sized SUVs and sedans. I'm not trolling you and I'm not trying to incite another angry response. I was simply pointing out another side to the discussion on driving large vehicles. After all, this is a forum. In case you weren't sure, it's generally a place for open discussion on a topic of choice. I just wanted to discuss some alternatives to your short-sighted view of all unnecessarily-large-vehicle drivers as being "tools" and this seemed like an appropriate place to do so.

EDIT: Sorry, I promise no more nested quotes from this point forward.


I am talking about wanna-be cowboys in downtown Houston here, not organic produce farmers in California who use their eco-friendly trucks to transport their wares to market or something like that. I understand what you're trying to say but you entirely missed my original point. These are the kind of trucks I'm talking about (just google'd it because I'm at work, but I'll try to provide pictures of the "real" thing if I ever get them):

http://e-ticketfabrication.com/Bedup.jpg -I've actually seen one very similar to this around my complex, it can't actually fit in the parking garage. The complex is located off a major street and there's only half a block's worth of curb parking on one side, which is shared with the complex across the street. So if you can't park there, you have to walk about a quarter of a mile. The guy who owns the truck similar to this one actually double parked it in the two spaces reserved for future residents in front of the complex - which is 50% of the parking that's there, and 1 of the last 2 spots is taken by the leasing agent.

That's a bit of an exaggerated example because I've only seen one of those but hopefully you're getting the point now. Here's something more reasonable and very similar to 2-3 of the trucks that frequently attempt to park in spots in my complex's garage, the same spots which give you 4 inches to the yellow line on each side if you perfectly center a compact car in one of the spots:

http://www.marax.at/funpix/ford_f650_05.jpg -The Hummer that parks in the compact parking on a daily basis has the same sort of elevated bed and oversized tires. When he starts the thing it sounds like a piece of construction equipment, it's so loud. I have never seen a speck of mud on the thing and I'm fairly certain he waxes it frequently - I've seen him at it a couple times (he always has plenty of room to do this because he's always double parked :) ). So I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a practical use for the thing - although you never know!

I'm quite sure there are examples of "larger" cars being more environmentally friendly than "smaller" cars (the aforementioned Prius battery case is an excellent example), but saying "there are worse things than doing such and such" isn't a valid defense and can be used to justify a whole range of large and small evils, as long as you can find an example of someone doing something worse than you. I'm glad you brought up another side, but that other side really had nothing to do with my post (as evidenced by the examples I gave above, which should've been obvious in my first post just based on common stereotypes of big-car-driving Houstonites) and should've been its own independent post. I'm sorry, but the sort of person I'm thinking of doesn't buy an unnecessarily large truck and then take measures to ensure its environmental effects are minimalized. (and I apologize to the 0.001% of ULTD - unnecessarily large truck drivers, abbreviated for future clarity - who have been unfairly portrayed in my last sentence because they do take those measures) I'm not being short-sighted, except in the sense that I was discussing one specific thing, which is common on a forum if you want to avoid the sort of confusion you're clearly having troubles with. But clearly I am in the wrong because I wasn't specific enough from the get-go; in the future I will not only provide an annotated list, I will ensure there are graphs, diagrams, and pictures like I've provided above.
milk from space is good for you!



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Kailen
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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby Kailen » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:49 pm UTC

Spacemilk wrote:Words

You still don't get it. It's not up to you to determine the "necessity" of other people's vehicles. They don't have to clear their purchases with you. They don't have to let you approve of their logic before buying a car. And if someone wants to buy an original, vintage, demilitarized HumVee for their own personal amusement, they don't have to give you a list of uses for you to double check against your pre-approved list before they're allowed to do so.

As such, my elite squad of invisible ninjas is now on their way to find, obtain, and cube your car.

....At least, I think they are. They're an elite squad of invisible ninjas. I can never be certain whether or not they're actually IN the room when I give them commands.

Sure sucks when short-sightened hatred is applied to something YOU do, doesn't it?
* These senseless ramblings brought to you by Insanity™. If you just can't figure the dang thing out, it must be Insanity™.

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Re: "Parking" Discussion

Postby crzftx » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:12 pm UTC

Kailen wrote:You still don't get it. It's not up to you to determine the "necessity" of other people's vehicles. They don't have to clear their purchases with you. They don't have to let you approve of their logic before buying a car. And if someone wants to buy an original, vintage, demilitarized HumVee for their own personal amusement, they don't have to give you a list of uses for you to double check against your pre-approved list before they're allowed to do so.


So, it's ok for anyone to do anything he wants, provided he properly pays for it? Can I buy warheads which I plan to kill everyone with?
Obviously not. I can do anything I want provided it doesn't hurt other people. If I buy a massive vehicle it is my responsibility to ensure it's net contribution to society is positive. The enjoyment I get from owning the vehicle must be greater than the strain I put on people by forcing everyone to walk one (or 1/6, if there's six rows) extra parking width every time I park. Since it probably isn't (people get pretty upset about these things), I need to park near the back to justify my contribution.

If you find this example petty, you'll need to draw the line somewhere. What if it takes up 30 spaces (ignore the fact that driving would be impossible)? There is (or needs to be) a point where what you do to make yourself happy costs too much by forcing unhappiness on everyone else. Beyond that line, your vehicle is unnecessary.


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