Page 1 of 5

0562: "Parking"

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:01 am UTC
by joee
Image

Link: http://xkcd.com/562/

Alt: Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.

Hahaha - the number of times I've been tempted to do this. Even worse are people who do this with parallel parking spots

Edit: And people who park crooked, making you park crooked as well so you can open your doors. Then you come back and they've gone, so everyone thinks you're the douche who couldn't park properly.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:02 am UTC
by TheHand
I like how the car isn't even pu together properly, so it doesn't even have the semblance of a car.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:02 am UTC
by athelas
Yay, the Black Hat Guy returns!

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:03 am UTC
by suso
Dare to dream Randall, dare to dream.

What I don't understand is, why does double parking refer to people who park in a lane of the street and it doesn't refer to this practice?

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:03 am UTC
by dennisw
I'm going to print copies of this comic and start leaving them on windshields

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:04 am UTC
by suso
Anyone reminded of that scene in Deal of the Century? How about a little touch up. :twisted:

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:05 am UTC
by Luthen
I once set up a free website called "The Great Parking Awards" with certificates and everything for my family and friends to embarrass these people with. Of course the BHG is better.

I've posted about this before

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:06 am UTC
by jpardey
I guess cars aren't isomorphic to the first Brillouin zone...

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:06 am UTC
by Spacemilk
The parking garage at my apartment is very small and the spaces are very tight, so parking is never very fun. Also you are almost guaranteed not to find a spot if you are trying to park anytime after 8 p.m. In spite of this, there's this jackass who - every goddamn day - will double park his Hummer right after work until the next morning. Granted it's huge enough that it barely fits in one space anyway, but it's still a pretty jackass move. I've considered keying it, breaking off a mirror, and in weaker moments I've thought about leaving a nice little note asking him to please not do it again.

But now . . . NOW I know what I'm going to do to that ###!@&@& Hummer.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:07 am UTC
by Zenexer
My question: how do you suppose he moved the other half of the car?

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:08 am UTC
by Spacemilk
Zenexer wrote:My question: how do you suppose he moved the other half of the car?


My guess? Science.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:09 am UTC
by Storm
If only people who did this really did get their just desserts. Go BHG!
I approve of Spacemilk's new found motivation, %$#@ Hummers for city driving.
@Zenexer - he turned on the "More Magic" switch.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:09 am UTC
by KBlack
I bet this is happening in front of a starbucks (wink wink).

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:10 am UTC
by Luthen
Spacemilk wrote:
Zenexer wrote:My question: how do you suppose he moved the other half of the car?

My guess? Science.

Black hat is magic

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:10 am UTC
by TheHand
I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:10 am UTC
by poxic
One of the happiest days of my life was finding a single available parking spot at a mall one day. The neighbouring car had parked slightly over the line, by a foot or two, just enough to prevent anyone from parking beside him. Well, *most* anyone...

I was driving a 1975-ish Toyota Corolla, a tiny, beat-up, badly painted pile of crap (with a new engine so it ran fine). I cheerfully wedged myself into the remainder of the parking spot, exiting via the passenger side door. I think my car was about four inches from the offending neighbour, if that.

When I came back out, the asshole-car was gone and hadn't even left a scratch. Aw, they musta had a hard time getting out. Heh.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:10 am UTC
by burtonlang
When I catch the owner of these vehicles, I like to say, "Wow! You got the best two spaces in the lot!"

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:12 am UTC
by Spacemilk
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


That would be correct. If you are enough of a tool to drive an unnecessarily large car like a hummer or a huge truck, then you can pay for it by parking a mile away and walking to make up at least a little for what you're doing to the environment.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:13 am UTC
by madhollywood
A little geometric manipulation comes in handy. It is fun to imagine the frustrating world so easily modifiable.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:15 am UTC
by Sparrow15
When I was in France, I saw two cars parked in some place they weren't supposed to be. Both were *covered* in cling-wrap, and had notes taped to them saying, in french, "I parked like a shit, so I learned my lesson." It was epic.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:16 am UTC
by TheEvilPotato
We all know he drove around the city for hours looking for someone who'd parked like that ;)

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:17 am UTC
by ubergeek09
That's why I drive a narrow car, even when I park crooked I'm still in only one spot.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:19 am UTC
by xuth
I would think that a saws-all or an angle grinder would work far more efficiently than a cutting torch, but maybe I'm over thinking the problem.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:21 am UTC
by Luthen
BHG had an angle grinder,

My dad's revenge on a guy who kept parking across his driveway was to PVA a lot of newspaper to the windshield. A much less dangerous/permanent tactic.

Also you can screw people's duco by using some specific household liquids.

EDIT: Shouldn't BHG have cut the rear bumpers off all the cars? They're all sticking out.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:21 am UTC
by joee
xuth wrote:I would think that a saws-all or an angle grinder would work far more efficiently than a cutting torch, but maybe I'm over thinking the problem.


I believe he has an angle grinder in his left hand

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:22 am UTC
by dennisw
Zenexer wrote:My question: how do you suppose he moved the other half of the car?

In a much more satisfying manner than moving the whole car.

Apropos of nothing, has anyone noticed that the mark of a gray* crayon looks a lot like bare metal?

* Or "grey" if you prefer.

xuth wrote:I would think that a saws-all or an angle grinder would work far more efficiently than a cutting torch, but maybe I'm over thinking the problem.

Look in his left hand. Plus, we don't know what's in his backpack.

edit: I don't think it's an angle grinder. It looks like a circular saw, to me.

edit: stupid typo

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:24 am UTC
by Samsoneffect
Oh goodness, I wish I could've done this many many times. I hate these people.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:29 am UTC
by josiahstevenson
How often I've wanted to vandalize cars inconsiderably parked!

usually though i'm wanting to throw a brick through the window of the pickup truck monstrosity that didn't leave the space next to him with any room, not cut it in half. Same basic deal, though.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:35 am UTC
by sugarhyped
Ima think of this now whenever I see that at my apartment parking lot. I always wanna take a bat to their taillights but... i don't. because i'll never be as cool as black hat guy.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:37 am UTC
by yadumey
Doesn't Black Hat Guy prefer the Auto-Troll Shuffle to deal with double parked cars?

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:37 am UTC
by ANeMzero
3 dozen bystanders but no one saw who did it?

The only logical explanation would be that the car was a famous rapper!

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:41 am UTC
by pgn674
Reminds me of a web site I came across recently: You Park Like an Asshole. Gives you tickets for various situations you can print out and bring along with you in your car.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:45 am UTC
by periculum
TheEvilPotato wrote:We all know he drove around the city for hours looking for someone who'd parked like that ;)


Pfft. **** yeah. I would have done the same if I had the resources.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:49 am UTC
by Cathode Ray Sunshine
It reminds me of this guy in college who parks his car perpendicular to the parking lines, so that no one scratches his car. Never occurred to him that someone might actually key his car because he parks like a tool.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:51 am UTC
by philsov
TheHand wrote:I suppose cars who are built too big to fit in spaces even when parked correctly would be s**t out of luck huh?


they would be chopped up and then stacked vertically. maybe next time you'll go green, asshole :wink:

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:58 am UTC
by Snowdream
I confess, normally I'm levelheaded... However:

One day, at the movies; I noticed a gigantic black pick-up truck taking up >SIX< parking spaces. This parking lot is known for being way to small, and I was so far back, and I just have my tiny little VW. I was beyond pissed off. I don't mind walking, I like it; but just the fact that I could have been a lot closer, really made me loose my mind; also the audacity of this driver; clearly he did this on purpose.

Soooo... I went to my movie. Kill Bill.

When I came out, his truck was still there, and it was now night. My anger broiled in me, and... I remember putting my key between my ring and middle finger... as I was walking behind his truck, going back to my car; my arm suddenly went straight, and I whited out -- a second later, I looked back and saw a nice wavy key scratch on his car.

The key mark was very well done, it matched the bounce in my walk very well, luckily I'm so tall that it was exactly parallel with my arm - right where everyone can see my tag. I had a friend with me, her mouth was hanging open for a long while; and she didn't talk to me for a couple of days.

However, now she thinks it was one of my greater moments.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:59 am UTC
by westrim
I would have enjoyed this comic more if I hadn't wondered how long it took him to cut it with just a blow torch, and how he moved it into place. It might have worked better if a Jedi had done it instead of black hat guy (or black hat just whipped out a lightsaber), and the mouseover said something about that (reason #151 I wish I had a frikkin lightsaber, or something). Perhaps someone can create an alternate version.

Also, woo, my first post (on these forums, anyway).

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:00 am UTC
by almightyze
Magnificent Bastard. That's all I have to say.

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:00 am UTC
by Eternal Density
Utter win!
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe :P

Re: "Parking" Discussion

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:01 am UTC
by almightyze
joee wrote:Edit: And people who park crooked, making you park crooked as well so you can open your doors. Then you come back and they've gone, so everyone thinks you're the douche who couldn't park properly.


Wait...so why the hell did you do it in the first place? Ain't there another spot?