0595: "Android Girlfriend"

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tetromino
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby tetromino » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:36 am UTC

SummerGlauFan wrote:Seriously, when you read a book or something, you don't assign voices and whatnot to your characters?

Of course not. I just perceive the words; there is no corresponding perception of voice or sound.

The voices only come in if I take my eyes off the page and begin an imaginary and non-canon conversation with a character.

I had no idea that some people interpret the written word as sound.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Blokey » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:42 am UTC

Image
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Bernd
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Bernd » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:03 am UTC

It seems that someone watched "Cyborg She"... Nive movie :)

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby GrandpaJoe » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:09 am UTC

DSDM wrote:The only thing that sounds worse than getting oral sex from this android girlfriend is getting oral sex from her while having a Prince Albert.

ROFLMAO!

noam
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby noam » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:31 am UTC

Looking at the comic with a magnifying glass it is quite obvious this gal is a perfect replica of Audrey Thorne
from Twin Peaks... now that's a wild rose to design your cyborg after !

But the question is :
has he been feeding her all of Twing Peaks
or just that special one-eyed-jack cherry-twisting naughty episod ?


If that cyborg has been injected with David Lynch (and nowadays, androids are so clever they can actually find their own way to the good stuff)
prepare for damage !

Fermat Sim
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Fermat Sim » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:49 am UTC

sje46 wrote:HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD
Is anybody else disturbed by this? She is clearly sticking her probiscis into his head, and "nomming" his brains!
braaaains.jpg
You can clearly see the partially--ugg-deflated head after she had slurped out his brains from his cranium . . .*shudder*. I guess that Randall has been watching a lot of those late night B movies lately.
Just imagine it. You're bored on a Friday night so you go to a bar with your friends, lookin to get in a fight or get laid. You see a fine lady with a short leather skirt and kinky dirty blonde hair making eyes at you, a real femme fatale. So you start making moves on her, and the way she sussurates in your ear really makes your pants tight, so you go out to your Pontiac and drive out to behind the Market Basket and start mashing lips. Man, you could feel her groove, your bodies are messed together, totally synced, one being. Your hand travels around her body, her delicious curves, and you venture towards her pleasure zone, caressing her legs, her thighs, melting into her, almost there and A FREAKIN ROBOTIC TENTACLE THRUSTS OUT HER PUDENDA! It wraps itself around your abdomen, tightening, squeezing out your breath, crushing your ribs. You struggle to breath, and you have no idea what is going on. You pull away the best you can and throw your head back, but her teeth clamp down on your tongue, ripping it out. You scream in unimaginable pain, but it comes to a halt when you see her eyes glitter, turn to a metallic red diode starring into your very soul. The panic causes you to vomit onto her face, and you can barely muster enough strength to move your arm back, to aim for her face, but before you know it a chainsaw shoots out of her left shoulder and grinds through your elbow, splitting the bone, ripping your muscle, tearing off your limbs.
The vomit on her metallic face appears to have gotten into her machinery, as her face begins sparking, and her face melts off to reveal a metallic, bug-like face, with gnashing electronic teeth, sparking, burning off your eyebrows. A metallic hose, a proboscis, shoots from her forehead, into your occipital lobe, burrowing into your skull. The first thing to go is your vision, not that you can see anything around the blood gushing from your face anyway. You can still hear, however. You still have your audition, however, if only for a fraction of a second. You can hear the vacuum, the pumps, and the gray matter itself being sucked through the tube, resisting against the pressure, forced from its cranial throne, being reduced to mere matter, vampireandroid food.
Your deflated head plops onto the back seat, leaking blood and cerebrospinal fluid, but not a molecule of neuron. The police find your rotting corpse after a city-wide manhunt two days later when a local resident sees a wild dog drop your severed right hand on a yawn two blocks away. They will never solve the mystery.
*shudders*
Not cool, not funny, not a good comic.



Legen... wait for it... DAIRY!!!

I had the same first impression about the cherry actually being the guy's head. It might just be a prejudice, but androids and fembots invariably are quite violent in my imagination...

Meagen
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Meagen » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:23 am UTC

What I don't get about the cherry stem thing: okay, so it means a girl has a very mobile tongue. What exactly does that matter to a *guy* who is looking forward to oral sex? You don't really need finesse to get a guy off (or so I heard). Having an incredibly mobile tongue is something that guys (and lesbians) should demonstrate in order to get chicks.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby sje46 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:33 am UTC

Meagen wrote:What I don't get about the cherry stem thing: okay, so it means a girl has a very mobile tongue. What exactly does that matter to a *guy* who is looking forward to oral sex? You don't really need finesse to get a guy off (or so I heard). Having an incredibly mobile tongue is something that guys (and lesbians) should demonstrate in order to get chicks.

No, I think it refers to making out, not fellatio.
I don't get why so many of you guys don't get it. Remember that one starburst commercial with the girl putting a wrapped starburst into her mouth and spitting out the wrapper which was folded into a crane. It's supposed to hint at delicacy with the tongue.
Yes, but keep in mind that it wasn't to make a crane, originally, but simply to unwrap the starburst (which is a very hard thing to do).
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Ool
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Ool » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:48 am UTC

This is one cartoon that would be a lot funnier with facial expressions…

Karantalsis
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Karantalsis » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:54 am UTC

tetromino wrote:
SummerGlauFan wrote:Seriously, when you read a book or something, you don't assign voices and whatnot to your characters?

Of course not. I just perceive the words; there is no corresponding perception of voice or sound.

The voices only come in if I take my eyes off the page and begin an imaginary and non-canon conversation with a character.

I had no idea that some people interpret the written word as sound.


Really? Thats awesome. When I read prose as opposed to a comic strip I don't just get sound I get full sensory on what is being described. When reading a book within like a page I stop seeing the words and instead see the situation being described, I can see and hear and feel the characters, smell the smells taste the foods.

With a comic strip I tend to just get audio in addition to the supplied visuals, so they are always less intense to me.

I thought that was normal.

nirvana_grace
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby nirvana_grace » Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:49 am UTC

sje46 wrote:HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD
Is anybody else disturbed by this? She is clearly sticking her probiscis into his head, and "nomming" his brains!


Same initial thought. Although, in my case, it roused memory of "Brain Bugs" in Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers.
Sure, there are always unintended consequences -- but I can't do nothin' about 'em.

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T-Roland
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby T-Roland » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:05 am UTC

mr_pathetic wrote:"No thanks, I'd rather make out with my Marylin Monroe bot...." :wink:


"I get it!"

I love the idea of arc-welding the cherry stem, although on a deeper sexual level, perhaps not as much.

funknjam
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby funknjam » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:17 am UTC

So the first thing I thought upon reading this morning....

"Looks like XKCD is in off-season withdrawals for 'Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles." I know I am.

I think we're all waiting for the next season when Summer Glau DOES say to John, in one way or another, "Remove your pants." I bet they tease it all season long though.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby guyy » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:04 pm UTC

sje46 wrote:HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD


Yeah, looked like that to me too at first. Once I figured it out it was slightly less creepy. Then it got creepier again when I realized this apparently isn't his first android girlfriend ("new"?).

wakingrufus
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby wakingrufus » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:08 pm UTC

tetromino wrote:
SummerGlauFan wrote:
Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


Actually, and in spite of what would seem to have been the likely choice (points to avatar), I had the voice of Fry's robot girlfriend from Futurama.

You people assign voices to characters in a comic? As in, you actually hear, in your head, the sound of the characters' words being pronounced, instead of simply perceiving them abstractly?

This is completely bizarre.

I think most people do this, and that is why most people are slow readers.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby DragonHawk » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:29 pm UTC

General response to the comic:

"When virtual reality becomes cheaper than dating, society is doomed." -- Scott Adams, in Dilbert
-----
sje46 wrote:She is clearly sticking her probiscis into his head ...

Yah, that was my first take, too, too. I was quite confused and did the re-read/back-and-forth cycle a few times until the penny dropped.

sje46 wrote:... melting into her, almost there and A FREAKIN ROBOTIC TENTACLE THRUSTS OUT HER PUDENDA! It wraps itself around your abdomen, tightening ...


Isn't that the entire plot of Species right there? :)
-----
Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?

No. I'm in the "don't give voices to characters while reading" camp. Plus I don't find Glau's voice to be particularly sexy (other things, yes).

At the risk of starting a riot, I'm starting to find Glau to be overrated. I think she's quite pretty, and I like her work, but the incessant worship from some corners of the Internet is obnoxious.
-----
Meagen wrote:What I don't get about the cherry stem thing: okay, so it means a girl has a very mobile tongue. What exactly does that matter to a *guy* who is looking forward to oral sex? You don't really need finesse to get a guy off (or so I heard).

Since when have pop culture sex tropes had anything to do with reality? :)
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flyonthewall
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby flyonthewall » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:32 pm UTC

funknjam wrote:I think we're all waiting for the next season ..


Don't hold you breath..

http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/05/bub ... w-upd.html

At the risk of starting a riot, I'm starting to find Glau to be overrated.

in b4 riot.
Oh, and it's not overrated, by now it's a meme.

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creaothceann
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby creaothceann » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:43 pm UTC

Karantalsis wrote:
tetromino wrote:
SummerGlauFan wrote:Seriously, when you read a book or something, you don't assign voices and whatnot to your characters?

Of course not. I just perceive the words; there is no corresponding perception of voice or sound.

The voices only come in if I take my eyes off the page and begin an imaginary and non-canon conversation with a character.

I had no idea that some people interpret the written word as sound.


Really? Thats awesome. When I read prose as opposed to a comic strip I don't just get sound I get full sensory on what is being described. When reading a book within like a page I stop seeing the words and instead see the situation being described, I can see and hear and feel the characters, smell the smells taste the foods.

With a comic strip I tend to just get audio in addition to the supplied visuals, so they are always less intense to me.

I thought that was normal.

Sounds like you'd have an excellent time with text adventures. (ZORK, Leather Goddesses, ...)
Last edited by creaothceann on Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:53 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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BioTube
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby BioTube » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:48 pm UTC

I LIKE ZORK!

And when I hear voices, they're almost always mine(ie, I'm reading aloud in my head).
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3Davideo
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby 3Davideo » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:51 pm UTC

BlueNight wrote:
lordofnarf wrote:
elnerdo wrote:I hate being "that guy", but....

Isn't this technically a gynoid, not an android?


Technically, yes, but android has become the common gender neutral term for a human-like robot, so it's still acceptable usage.

Proper neuter term: anthropoid. The term is already in use, so anthroid might work, though it bastardizes the Greek (anthropos, not anthros, means human). Think Data's child Lal, before it decided to become a gynoid.


I totally agree with this, but I prefer the term Gynoid, because a "she-android" conjures weird pictures in my mind that I do not like.

Since I like robots, and I like women, I often identify as a "Cyborg Gynoid" on several of my forums.

Jamaican Castle
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Jamaican Castle » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:02 pm UTC

re: neutral-gender form of "android": isn't that what "robot" is there for? (Though I agree that current usage tends to equate "android" and "humanoid robot", not "android" and "robot that looks like a dude".)

re: voices: I don't always "hear" what characters say, though I inexplicably have a voice assigned to almost any character anyway. I'm told "hearing" text while reading it is common and often involves Morgan Freeman

Also, the sexy part about Summer's voice isn't the voice itself - it's that it's attached to Summer Glau. :)

However, I would assume it has the same voice as Mr. Universe's wife-bot.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby DSDM » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:22 pm UTC

BlueNight wrote:Proper neuter term: anthropoid. The term is already in use, so anthroid might work, though it bastardizes the Greek (anthropos, not anthros, means human). Think Data's child Lal, before it decided to become a gynoid.


Who says "anthropoid?" "Android" is used like "man" or "mankind", referring to both sexes when the context is meant to encompass humanity. I mean, no one hardly ever says "humankind."

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby nyssssa » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:46 pm UTC

Am I the only one who wants to see the arc welded cherry stem?

wolf_man
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby wolf_man » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:19 pm UTC

Am I the only that thinks an arc-welded cherry stem would be a small pile of ash?

fiatluxstop
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby fiatluxstop » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:22 pm UTC

do lonely androids dream of rubber robotic sheep?
Oh, and hi from long time lurker, first time poster.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby cathrl » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:35 pm UTC

Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


I actually came to the thread to see how long it was until someone said this. I'm just seeing Cameron in place of stick-figure here.

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neoliminal
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby neoliminal » Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:06 pm UTC

Is she a sex bot?


No.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby dragonseth » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:42 pm UTC

I also think an arc-welded cherry stem would be ash. Anyone care to disagree?

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby 10nitro » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:50 pm UTC

BlueNight wrote:Think Data's child Lal, before it decided to become a gynoid.


I always though it was 'Lol'! It makes sense, on the internet first there was data, back when it was in universities, but then gave way to LOLZ.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Dylan » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:25 pm UTC

What happened to the martini glass?

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby asanisimasa » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:36 pm UTC

They're installing Android on everything these days! Phones, netbooks, girlfriends...

Where can I download the arc weld a cherry stem app?

Wait.. not the same Android? Aww...
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Homncruse » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:44 pm UTC

sje46 wrote:Just imagine it. You're bored on a Friday night so you go to a bar with your friends, lookin to get in a fight or get laid. You see a fine lady with a short leather skirt and kinky dirty blonde hair making eyes at you, a real femme fatale.
... (read original post) ...
Your deflated head plops onto the back seat, leaking blood and cerebrospinal fluid, but not a molecule of neuron. The police find your rotting corpse after a city-wide manhunt two days later when a local resident sees a wild dog drop your severed right hand on a yawn two blocks away. They will never solve the mystery.


I'm so horny right now.

(Sorry, couldn't resist when I read through the rest of the thread and nobody else said it...)

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Whynaut
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Whynaut » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:46 pm UTC

Karantalsis wrote:
tetromino wrote:
SummerGlauFan wrote:Seriously, when you read a book or something, you don't assign voices and whatnot to your characters?

Of course not. I just perceive the words; there is no corresponding perception of voice or sound.

The voices only come in if I take my eyes off the page and begin an imaginary and non-canon conversation with a character.

I had no idea that some people interpret the written word as sound.


Really? Thats awesome. When I read prose as opposed to a comic strip I don't just get sound I get full sensory on what is being described. When reading a book within like a page I stop seeing the words and instead see the situation being described, I can see and hear and feel the characters, smell the smells taste the foods.

With a comic strip I tend to just get audio in addition to the supplied visuals, so they are always less intense to me.

I thought that was normal.


It works the other way too. When people here spoken words, their responses vary wildly. Some see the text version(if you hear tree, you will see a tree), some see the image of the word (is you hear tree you will see the word tree), some see nothing (like me). I haven't seen as much science on visualizations while reading text though.

I am intensely jealous of those who get sound and whatnot. It seems that it would greatly improve the reading experience. Possible link: maybe the ability to not just visualize but somehow smell and taste is similar in origin to synesthesia (where you assign numbers and letters random colours).
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby SirMustapha » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:58 pm UTC

Dammit, this was a really good comic, but I only understood the humour after reading through this thread -- so now it's too late to laugh.

Really, not only I didn't know about the stem-twisting thing, but I had to read the comic about 10 times before I realised what the FUCK WAS GOING ON.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby RealZeratul » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:07 pm UTC

Dammit guys,
I managed to not register on these forums for years to save the last bit of spare time that is left, but now you left me no chance.

Didn't anybody of you think of the not as good as old movie Cherry 2000? Granted, it is not great, but it IS a sci-fi movie... dealing with sex androids, btw. ;)

Now let's see how long it will take to create some proper profile...

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby ukaberry » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:10 pm UTC

HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD
Is anybody else disturbed by this? She is clearly sticking her probiscis into his head, and "nomming" his brains!


It took me about six reads to get that it was a cherry.

And I immediately got the cherry stem-making out correlation, and I'm 14.

Also, I have to say that the "nom" was the only thing about this comic that actually made me laugh.

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umop ap!sdn
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby umop ap!sdn » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:19 pm UTC

sje46 wrote:HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS SHE DOING TO HIS HEAD
~Long post~
Not cool, not funny, not a good comic.


Get out of my head sje46.
Oh god... what did I just say?!?

I did like this one, as the cherry stem trick is sexy. Assuming she doesn't make dumb faces when she is attempting it.
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby Heron » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:41 pm UTC

wakingrufus wrote:I think most people do this, and that is why most people are slow readers.


Registered just to be a counter-example ;) I do this (see images, hear voices/sound, etc) quite vividly while reading, yet I read quite rapidly; during high school I'd get through a whole volume of the Wheel of Time in a week (reading between classes and at night), and I've read novels in a day on numerous occasions. Recently I went through about 1.5 books per week reading the Ender's Game and Ender's Shadow series, but I work full-time and have a baby, so I get less time to read than I used to.

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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby sableye22 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:58 pm UTC

tetromino wrote:
SummerGlauFan wrote:
Drooling Iguana wrote:Did anyone reading this not mentally give the gynoid Summer Glau's voice?


Actually, and in spite of what would seem to have been the likely choice (points to avatar), I had the voice of Fry's robot girlfriend from Futurama.

You people assign voices to characters in a comic? As in, you actually hear, in your head, the sound of the characters' words being pronounced, instead of simply perceiving them abstractly?

This is completely bizarre.


I seriously thought everyone does this. And NO- it does not make me a slower reader.
You know how people usually talk faster than they read? Well if I can imagine a voice for narrators and characters then somehow it feels more like listening than reading. Even with stick figures. :? Makes sense? I figured not.
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dchudz
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Re: "Android Girlfriend" Discussion

Postby dchudz » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:43 pm UTC

I don't really want to say it's sexist... but if I did, maybe something about portraying female sexual agency as something dangerous?
-David


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