0278: "Black Hat Support"

This forum is for the individual discussion thread that goes with each new comic.

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

forkazoo
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2007 8:27 am UTC
Contact:

0278: "Black Hat Support"

Postby forkazoo » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:03 am UTC

Image

http://xkcd.com/c278.html
Mouseover Text: "So as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls."


He he... For a while, I did so much Windows tech support, that I might actually have been the support tech in this. Egad, and thankfully I haven't had to support a Windows setup in many moons. :)

kertrats
Posts: 36
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 5:46 am UTC

Postby kertrats » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:03 am UTC

Classic Classhole.

User avatar
The LuigiManiac
Posts: 695
Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2007 4:09 am UTC
Location: Trapped in a hypothetical situation somewhere in Ontario...help?

Postby The LuigiManiac » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:07 am UTC

Well, I'll go get rid of my topic...again...

I've lost it, haven't I?

Not that it is that big of a deal anyways...

Crosspost from soon-to-be-deleted duplicate: Now that is phone pranking done right. I wonder if he ended up doing multiple pranks along these lines, or if that was the only one...

EDIT NOT PART OF CROSSPOSTING: Also, I like the alt-text,
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

thedancecmmndr
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:57 pm UTC

Postby thedancecmmndr » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:37 am UTC

Who is black hat man?
A sinister character.
Randall's other self?

User avatar
EradicateIV
Posts: 361
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:33 pm UTC
Location: Brownsville, PA
Contact:

Postby EradicateIV » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:41 am UTC

Anything technical support is always too close to home for me.

Windows users need to stay out of the applecare hot line!
1010011010

Our truth is only as good as our assumptions.

User avatar
Twasbrillig
Tawsbirlig
Posts: 1942
Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:50 am UTC

Postby Twasbrillig » Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:17 am UTC

Tech support: "Right-click in the text box."

Customer: "Ok, do I go to properties?"

Tech support: "What?"

Customer: "After I right-click, do I go to properties?"

Tech support: "Are you sure you wrote click?"
I want to have Bakemaster's babies. It's possible, with science.

I wonder if you can see...
...what is wrong with my signature?

wing wrote:I'm sorry... But that was THE funniest thing I've ever read on the interbutts.

Street Mathician
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:54 pm UTC
Location: Out for dinner
Contact:

Postby Street Mathician » Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:18 am UTC

The alt text was what really got me cracking with this one.

Crane
Posts: 74
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 1:03 pm UTC

Postby Crane » Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:12 am UTC

If I got something like that from a linux helpline...
Tech: Okay, first click on the start menu.
Me: You're a worthless moron who can't do his job. *click*

I'm not a nice man.
Image

User avatar
voodooKobra
You just....
Posts: 159
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:34 am UTC
Contact:

Postby voodooKobra » Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:28 am UTC

Hahaha. AOL on Linux-- could you imagine the atrocity?
If you need to reach me, email kobrasrealm@gmail.com

in b4 spam

Kobra's Corner - My horribly-written opinions that aren't worth reading. Seriously; you're better off reading Nietzsche translated into myspace user lingo.

Avenger
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 4:50 am UTC

Re: Black Hat Support

Postby Avenger » Mon Jun 18, 2007 8:02 am UTC

forkazoo wrote:Mouseover Text: "So as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls."


Well that's your problem, Apache doesn't use select().

User avatar
Zak McKracken
Posts: 71
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:29 pm UTC

I know this guy!

Postby Zak McKracken » Mon Jun 18, 2007 8:25 am UTC

This strangely reminds me of the tech support we have here at work.
Almost everyone is running Linux but the people in the callcenter are all Windows people who would then pass your requsts to the (Linux-capable) tech guys ... so dialogs would run something like this:

Me:"my X-server is hanging, I need an admin to restart it"
Callcenter: "Ahm ... what's the name of that computer?"
Me: "[name of computer]"
Callcenter: "One moment ... but that's your working PC!"
Me: "Sure, and the X-server has crashed"
Callcenter: "Right, and what's the name of the X-server?"
Me: "ahm ... that runs on the same machine?"
Callcenter: "You have a server in your office? It says here it's just a PC!?"
After trying and failing to make him understand what an X-server is, I made him write down word by word what the tech guy needs to know -- he failed, and the tech guy had to call me back to understand the problem:
Me: "could you restart my X-server?"
Admin: "alright, no problem ... done!"

One of the admins is a friend of mine, and he told me they had to upgrade to CristalBall 2.0 lately to be able to read the problem descriptions from the messages they're being sent from the callcenter people ... but in 50% of the cases they still phone you back because it's just impossible.


... but also I find myself calling the K-Menu in KDE "start menu". Never used AOL, though. Never knew anyone who ever did, even, but I guess "America online" wasn't meant for the European market :o)


Zak
Can one hack writer, two Yale coeds and a stale loaf of french bread save the world from a galactic conspiracy?

User avatar
cmacis
Posts: 754
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:22 pm UTC
Location: Leeds or Bradford, Thessex
Contact:

Postby cmacis » Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:15 am UTC

I used AOL for a while. I don't know why everyone hates them. We only left because we'd have to get a BT line if we wanted broadband which would have been more expensive than going with blueyonder.
li te'o te'a vei pai pi'i ka'o ve'o su'i pa du li no
Mathematician is a function mapping tea onto theorems. Sadly this function is irreversible.
QED is Latin for small empty box.
Ceci n’est pas une [s]pipe[/s] signature.

User avatar
Alcari
Posts: 377
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 3:06 pm UTC
Location: The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby Alcari » Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:46 am UTC

i've spent a summer working for internet helpdesk over here. Getting people's networks to see the router in win98 or, as I call it, The tenth layer of hell.
I'm made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

free manga and anime music

User avatar
thebeanie
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:13 am UTC
Location: Australia
Contact:

Postby thebeanie » Mon Jun 18, 2007 10:38 am UTC

This is Hat Guy at his best. Pure, unadulterated confusing and/or pissing off everyone around him.

That guy is on my list of 'Most Admired People'.

Where do I get one of those flat-top black hats? I want one. I guess I'll just have to do with this here beanie.

User avatar
Iluvatar
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:19 pm UTC

Postby Iluvatar » Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:12 pm UTC

Almost everyone is running Linux but the people in the callcenter are all Windows people who would then pass your requsts to the (Linux-capable) tech guys ... so dialogs would run something like this:

I'm working tier 2 Mac IT at the moment. I can sympathize. :)

As for the comic, black hat man rivals Dogbert for my hero in life. We have about equal amounts of Dilbert and XKCD comics around the office at the moment.
"Don't you see?!"

"Get out of my bed, Randall, I'm trying to sleep!"

Your results may vary.

User avatar
tendays
Posts: 957
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 6:21 pm UTC
Location: HCMC

Postby tendays » Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:56 pm UTC

I have that problem actually!

My openbsd server is running apache, and every now and then (on average once a week) the load starts to rise like crazy until it crashes the machine :-/

All I could do was writing a script that checks the load every minute or so, and changes the firewall rules to reject incoming traffic on port 80 if the load is higher than some threshold, until the load gets normal again (and then the port is re-opened)

So, I haven't got a crashes for half a year now, but the script still gets triggered about once a week, blocking apache for five minutes ... Not exactly an ideal solution!

anti-double post EDIT:

thebeanie wrote:Where do I get one of those flat-top black hats? I want one. I guess I'll just have to do with this here beanie.


http://www.thinkgeek.com/apparel/hats-ties/6345/

liquid217
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:55 pm UTC

Postby liquid217 » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:59 pm UTC

tendays wrote:I have that problem actually!

My openbsd server is running apache, and every now and then (on average once a week) the load starts to rise like crazy until it crashes the machine :-/

All I could do was writing a script that checks the load every minute or so, and changes the firewall rules to reject incoming traffic on port 80 if the load is higher than some threshold, until the load gets normal again (and then the port is re-opened)

So, I haven't got a crashes for half a year now, but the script still gets triggered about once a week, blocking apache for five minutes ... Not exactly an ideal solution!


I too had a problem very similar (OpenBSD 3.2/ Apache 2.0.59/prefork). The load would just go crazy when any type of traffic hit the site. Through trial and error, I discovered that if I set the 'AcceptMutex' to 'flock' the problem goes away.

User avatar
Tomcat
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon May 28, 2007 6:30 pm UTC
Location: 40,000 feet at Mach 2

Postby Tomcat » Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:04 pm UTC

hahahahaha

I'm going to try this one on my linux-evangelist friend!
---
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I

User avatar
Sliver
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:03 pm UTC

Postby Sliver » Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:21 pm UTC

Oh me yarm, flashbacks to my 3+ years of support for HP... reminds me of a story once:

I had a guy on the line who's son just bought him a computer and he just finished hooking it up, and so he is on the first screen of the windows OOBE. It says "click next to continue" and he insists he is, but its not working. As a good tech agent, I ensure everything is hooked up properly, and it is, then restart the computer and try again (bad idea in XP SP1 as most of this audience knows already). So we end up having to completely reinstall windows (damn ntldr errors), which takes around 40 minutes.

As we are sitting waiting for the reload, we get to talking and I find out the guy has worked the assembly lines at Ford since he was about 20. It took a little bit to sink in, but it slowly dawned on me the issue at play here. we got to the same screen, and sure enough it wouldn't go any further. that is when I asked "are you using the mouse?". the response: "No, I am pressing the button, why?" The guy was used to the touch screens his whole life and had no concept of why one would use a mouse!

PEBKAC.... grrr

Shpadoinkle
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:12 am UTC

Postby Shpadoinkle » Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:57 pm UTC

Mr. Black Hat is such a wonderful asshole.

User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
Posts: 30450
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC
Contact:

Postby Belial » Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:27 pm UTC

thedancecmmndr wrote:Who is black hat man?
A sinister character.
Randall's other self?


He is, among other things, the reincarnation of Aram from Men in Hats.

"I'm bored. Catch this match with your face."
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

User avatar
ArchangelShrike
Rodan's Title
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:39 am UTC
Location: Waikiki

Postby ArchangelShrike » Mon Jun 18, 2007 10:29 pm UTC

I must admit, I now lose xkcd for parsing it as Hat Guy calling for support, not the other way around.

/runs into flames

User avatar
bbctol
Super Deluxe Forum Title of DESTINYâ„¢
Posts: 3137
Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:27 pm UTC
Location: The Twilight Zone
Contact:

Postby bbctol » Mon Jun 18, 2007 10:34 pm UTC

ArchangelShrike wrote:I must admit, I now lose xkcd for parsing it as Hat Guy calling for support, not the other way around.

/runs into flames


Hm? No...

Rakshasa
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:12 pm UTC

Re: Black Hat Support

Postby Rakshasa » Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:43 pm UTC

Avenger wrote:Well that's your problem, Apache doesn't use select().

Sure it doesn't.

User avatar
EradicateIV
Posts: 361
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:33 pm UTC
Location: Brownsville, PA
Contact:

Postby EradicateIV » Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:11 am UTC

Iluvatar wrote:I'm working tier 2 Mac IT at the moment. I can sympathize. :)


ECK!!!!!!!! I work Tier 1 desktop support. I wonder if I have ever transferred to you.
1010011010



Our truth is only as good as our assumptions.

Princess Marzipan
Posts: 7717
Joined: Sun May 27, 2007 5:28 am UTC
Location: neither a road, nor an island

Postby Princess Marzipan » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:00 am UTC

I work software tech support, and sometimes I feel like pulling a BlackHat.

Like when I someone a link for a patch to download, and they call back having the same problem. And they've SAVED the patch. They haven't RUN it to get it installed. Despite instructions to that effect in the email I write.

Don't get me started on people who excuse their lack of basic concepts with the phrase "I'm not a computer expert."
"It's Saturday night. I've got no date, a two-liter of Shasta, and my all-Rush mixtape. Let's rock!"
"I am just about to be brilliant!"
General_Norris, on feminism, wrote:If you lose your six Pokémon, you lost.

MrSomeone
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue May 01, 2007 11:52 pm UTC
Contact:

Postby MrSomeone » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:19 am UTC

Twasbrillig wrote:Tech support: "Right-click in the text box."

Customer: "Ok, do I go to properties?"

Tech support: "What?"

Customer: "After I right-click, do I go to properties?"

Tech support: "Are you sure you wrote click?"

Haha yes. That made me laugh more than the comic did.

saxmaniac1987
Can't spell sex
Posts: 825
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:58 pm UTC

Postby saxmaniac1987 » Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:01 am UTC

Belial wrote:
thedancecmmndr wrote:Who is black hat man?
A sinister character.
Randall's other self?


He is, among other things, the reincarnation of Aram from Men in Hats.



Thats my name, don't wear it out!

(no, seriously. that's my first name.)
"A witty saying proves nothing" - Voltaire

User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
Inne Juste 7 Dayes I Wille Make You A Hero!
Posts: 11265
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can
Contact:

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:43 am UTC

Windows tech support question (and trust me, I feel lame for asking)

How to I get the Language Bar to turn off, AND STAY THE FUCK OFF!?!?!??!?!

User avatar
maicrodrop
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Contact:

Postby maicrodrop » Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:21 am UTC

Unless I'm horribly mistaken (which happens often, but whatever...), this comic is an example of classic BOfH HellDesk employees...

Frenchy
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:48 pm UTC

Postby Frenchy » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:09 am UTC

I installed Linux the other week cos I was bored and curious.

Ballsed up the dual-boot thing and wiped my computer :D

I went back to Windows.

User avatar
tendays
Posts: 957
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 6:21 pm UTC
Location: HCMC

Postby tendays » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:57 am UTC

liquid217 wrote:
I too had a problem very similar (OpenBSD 3.2/ Apache 2.0.59/prefork). The load would just go crazy when any type of traffic hit the site. Through trial and error, I discovered that if I set the 'AcceptMutex' to 'flock' the problem goes away.


Thank you! I will try that.

User avatar
Iluvatar
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:19 pm UTC

Postby Iluvatar » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:20 pm UTC

If we want to share some pebkac's...

User once couldn't find the column button on Mac Word. She'd looked for 15 plus minutes. Turns out the little lizard made of beads hanging down from her monitor, which was covering maybe a 1cm X 1cm area, was covering it. She had to call tech support to determine this. She is the local IT person for that area.

Then there's the users who have files "saved in Word".
'But where are they on your hard drive?'
"in Word... in the Applications folder"
'No, those are applications, where are the files?'
"Clicking Word will open them."
The difference between applications and documents still eludes some people.

Then there's the former Windows users who think that clean reinstalling OS X is a perfectly reasonable solution for an incorrectly set permission.

They told me at this job that I'd be supporting customers, not machines. I thought they meant it in a metaphorical sense...

ECK!!!!!!!! I work Tier 1 desktop support. I wonder if I have ever transferred to you.
Your pic look quite familiar. It may be that you have.
Last edited by Iluvatar on Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:35 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
"Don't you see?!"

"Get out of my bed, Randall, I'm trying to sleep!"

Your results may vary.

Deck
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:48 pm UTC

Postby Deck » Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:23 pm UTC

thedancecmmndr wrote:Who is black hat man?
A sinister character.
Randall's other self?

Make it a sestina and I'll be really impressed.
Indeed.

User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
Inne Juste 7 Dayes I Wille Make You A Hero!
Posts: 11265
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can
Contact:

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:42 pm UTC

Ahhh, pebkac's.... been a while since I heard THAT term!

Also, the Sestina article is really wrong, but I can't understand which part is wrong.

User avatar
tessuraea
Not Phallic Enough
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:46 am UTC

Postby tessuraea » Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:03 pm UTC

I love sestinas. Very hard to write!
This is not a reference to anyone's junk.

CowShrpTrn
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 12:05 am UTC

Postby CowShrpTrn » Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:55 am UTC

Sestina's aren't that bad to write, i had to write one in english, they pretty much write themselves.

|333173|3|_||3
Posts: 124
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2007 9:41 am UTC
Location: Adelaide, SA, Aus

Postby |333173|3|_||3 » Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:22 am UTC

maicrodrop wrote:Unless I'm horribly mistaken (which happens often, but whatever...), this comic is an example of classic BOfH HellDesk employees...
The HellDesk are more idiots than malicious. Of course, back when the BOFH was an operator at a university and had to field calls from users far more, a user should have considered himself lucky to get away with such light treatment. Calling a phone tech support is rather safer though, since you cannot be brutally murdered so easily.
The voices in my head tell me that I should write something here. Unfortunately, they won't tell me what to write.

User avatar
wing
the /b/slayer
Posts: 1876
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 5:56 am UTC

Postby wing » Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:03 am UTC

We have one user who is just now getting introduced to computers. Our helpdesk staff have become his personal tutors... But he insists on trying to impart wisdom on the IT staff while they're trying to teach him Office. I avoid him as much as possible and spend more time teaching our Windows admin Linux or trying to figure out why this obscure setup at this remote site that isn't documented anywhere and I've never personally seen isn't working or chasing phantom DNS issues that aren't recordable by any logging or diagnostic means but nonetheless happen intermittantly to regular user traffic.

At any rate, he uses terms like "The Grid" to refer to file storage, and MS Word's page numbering feature is made by "Web scientists". Optical mice use megapixel cameras and the computers are black so the bats don't freeze.

Also, he has to change his password daily because he keeps forgetting it. One of the factors in accessing the self-password-reset is an ID card swipe... The mag stripe on his card is already wearing out, and we just issued it 2 months ago. My card isn't even that worn and I use it 20 or 30 times a day to open various doors (the IT department bathrooms are even card-locked, since we aren't allowed to leave areas without surveilance if we have sensitive materials checked out)

And that reminds me. I had the unfortunate pleasure of taking his picture and printing his card. Normally this should take 60 seconds to verify their identity, sit them down, flash the camera, and print the card, the card printer has been giving us serious grief lately, and mis-feeds between 5 and 50 cards for every good one it prints. Fortunately for him, I was having a good day that day, and prettymuch just ignored everything he said.

User avatar
tessuraea
Not Phallic Enough
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:46 am UTC

Postby tessuraea » Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:11 pm UTC

CowShrpTrn wrote:Sestina's aren't that bad to write, i had to write one in english, they pretty much write themselves.


I suppose we haven't really defined "easy" and "hard" here, but I maintain that sestinas are not easy to write. They're well known as one of the most difficult forms to write. As are haiku, actually.

Like haiku, it's not particularly hard to write something in the shape of a sestina--or a pantoum--or a villanelle. The difficult part is in having your poem make sense, flow well musically and metrically, and incorporate good evocative imagery. That's always the difficult part of poetry, but it's more of a challenge within the constraints of form.

Maybe it was easy for you and you magically wrote a wonderful sestina. No poet I've ever spoken to has ever said sestinas pretty much write themselves or that they're easy. Nor have any whose work I've read, as far as I know.

...wow, this is off-topic here. Guess that was a bit of a button.
This is not a reference to anyone's junk.


Return to “Individual XKCD Comic Threads”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: mscha and 91 guests