RogueJustice wrote:I once saw a pretty girl on the train with a really cool hat. One station before my stop I got myself together, stood up and went over to her: "I've never done this before, but it's worth a try: I think you are the most interesting person on this train and I would like your cell number." She smiled and said "Why don't you give me yours and maybe I'll text you." I did and a few minutes after I left the train, she texted me. Contact was on and off for some time, I went to see one of her school plays. Somewhen in between, she told me how me noticing her made her day that time. We haven't talked in years, but it still was fun while it lasted.
Point of the story: A flirt, even outside the hunting grounds can be a pleasant experience for both parties. "No means No" applies of course. Girl in the comic does it just right: If you don't want that person around, shoot them down.
Hats off to you for having the courage to do that. Even more hats off for doing it in a way that showed both openness and integrity - a far cry from the kind of stuff we've seen from the PUA stuff so far. According to anything any of the PUA apologists have advocated thus far, that is more or less the polar opposite of what you are supposed to do with a girl. A PUA would have gone in with a plan, a tactic... they would have opened with a neg maybe, or a compliment of some kind as an ice breaker. Then they'll try to go through the various stages of touching to get the girl comfortable with them. Then ... you get the idea.
So no disagreement here, really. Nobody's saying that it's wrong to ask out a cute girl you see on the street or at a cafe. What people are contesting isn't the act of approaching someone, but the manner, mindset, and motivation in which you do it.
In fact, your experience here serves as such
an important lesson that's been repeated over and over again by many of the women who have participated in this thread. If you are interested in a girl, just go up and ask her
and allow her a very clear exit strategy. If you can compliment a girl while making her feel safe for you having done so, that is damn sexy. Your experience here is a shining example that guys don't NEED to have a game plan, or a system, or a premeditated strategy, and that the simplest approach is often the most effective as well as the most respectful and ethical.
tanthalas wrote:To be honest: If you are a single person going out to a bar or club and don't do it to meet new people, what is the point? Dancing all by yourself in the middle of a crowd? Maybe this does happen, but I think "People in a social location want to interact socially" is a sound assumption usually.
There's a *huge* leap to be made from "I want to go out to be social" to "I want to go out to be worked by a pickup artist."