0293: "RTFM"

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SimonSwift
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0293: "RTFM"

Postby SimonSwift » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:04 am UTC

Image
http://xkcd.com/c293.html

Alt Text: Life is too short for man pages, and occasionally much too short without them.

All I have to say is that I laughed my ass off.

As a sidenote, I think that it woud be a great novelty prank item to have toasters that stab people in the face. Your friends totally wouldn't expect it.
"Haha! Tricked you!"
"My face is bleeding!"
"I know! That's the joke!"

Minus the whole lawsuit thing, it would be a pretty hilarious joke.

~Siswi
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P.P.S. Apologies for the verbosity.
--------------------
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Darcey
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Postby Darcey » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:09 am UTC

Like those gum sticks that shock you, but more evil! It's ingenious!

I wonder if anyone has ever sued over shocking gum sticks. "You disrupted my grandmother's pacemaker with your shocking stick of gum. Now face me in court!" Are lawsuits today's version of one-on-one combat?

Also comic was cool. -is totally on topic-

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hellmitre
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Postby hellmitre » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:14 am UTC

It seems like he'd be more likely to get an answer like that from the actual customer service of the toaster company. 911 would simply run him through loops before deciding it was a prank call.
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Postby the_padawan » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:16 am UTC

This comic reminded me of something I read in the man page of man itself:


$ man man
...
-c, --catman
This option is not for general use and should only be used by
the catman program.


As far as I'm concerned, the catman program is definitely the work of some half-feline villain who's stealth and swiftness are something I dare not reckon with.

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Postby Sinisterff » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:30 am UTC

so what are the arguments for the toaster?

user@house:~$man toaster

[...]
ARGUMENTS

--toast -t time level toast the bread to the time and level specified
--arm -a grows an arm
--stab -s stabs you in the face (must be used in conjuction with -a)
--help -h shows this help page and exits

default: toaster -a -s

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Postby SamuelDr » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:30 am UTC

the_padawan wrote:This comic reminded me of something I read in the man page of man itself:


$ man man
...
-c, --catman
This option is not for general use and should only be used by
the catman program.


As far as I'm concerned, the catman program is definitely the work of some half-feline villain who's stealth and swiftness are something I dare not reckon with.


Woah, be cautious with that!
Have you read the "man" man page before actually using man to read the man page about man?

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Postby Ilyanep » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:30 am UTC

So I wonder what the poor guy...er... I mean non-man-page-reading-sucker did to get stabbed in the face by said toaster, and what the man page would have said...

EDIT: In addition, I think more programs should have a "stab in the face" option...
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The_Toad
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Postby The_Toad » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:39 am UTC

I have to admit this is the first time in a few weeks I didnt laugh audibly at xkcd.... whats wrong with me?

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Postby IrishFire » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:43 am UTC

"man" is short for manual?

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Postby ohki » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:44 am UTC

Image

Howdy Doodley Do! I'm Talkie. Talkie Toaster, your CHIRPY Breakfast Companion. Talkie's the Name and TOASTIN'S the game. Would anybody like any toast?

Couldn't not do it.

IrishFire wrote:"man" is short for manual?


Code: Select all

$man man
MAN(1)                        Manual pager utils                        MAN(1)

NAME
       man - an interface to the on-line reference manuals


yes.
Last edited by ohki on Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:46 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Delbin
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Postby Delbin » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:46 am UTC

IrishFire wrote:"man" is short for manual?


From what my friend tells me, it's the manual that comes with linux programs.

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Darcey
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Postby Darcey » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:48 am UTC

The_Toad wrote:I have to admit this is the first time in a few weeks I didnt laugh audibly at xkcd.... whats wrong with me?


That sounds like a very serious symptom. If I were you'd I'd contact a doctor at once.

Ilyanep wrote:EDIT: In addition, I think more programs should have a "stab in the face" option...


When I'm programming things (I use Java, dunno if this stuff is in other languages too) and I need try-catch blocks because I'm getting input from users, I don't use prewritten exceptions. My exceptions usually look something like "WTF? I don't know how anyone could have been stupid enough to type in a number when I asked for a word. LAME." Anyway a stab in the face option would be useful. I would put it in catchblocks for ArithmeticExceptions. Teach people to divide by zero!

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Nyarlathotep
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Postby Nyarlathotep » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:59 am UTC

So, my toaster just turned into a robot and shot me with a missile. It's currently trying to tape a label to my friend Catherine. What do I do now?
'Gehȳrst þū, sǣlida, hwæt þis folc segeð?
hī willað ēow tō gafole gāras syllan,
ǣttrynne ord and ealde swurd,
þā heregeatu þe ēow æt hilde ne dēah.

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Postby japanese_jew » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:08 am UTC

Darcey wrote:Like those gum sticks that shock you, but more evil! It's ingenious!

I wonder if anyone has ever sued over shocking gum sticks. "You disrupted my grandmother's pacemaker with your shocking stick of gum. Now face me in court!" Are lawsuits today's version of one-on-one combat?

Also comic was cool. -is totally on topic-


When you started talking about gum sticks, I started thinking about Trick Gum that gets you addicted to heroin. Dunno about that shocking gum, that sounds insidious.

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Postby diamonds » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:17 am UTC

Especially funny today :)
All too many times I have to deal with people who have not read up on documentation for a game or program.
If you have no clue what "man" is (or can't prove why 0.9...=1 for that matter) you (probably) shouldn't be posting here.

Reminds me of an instruction on the top of a final quite a while back: circle the number twenty-five on the form to receive five extra percent (or something like that).

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Postby mikesty » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:25 am UTC

This comic went completely over my head.
Have A Nice Day :)

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Postby japanese_jew » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:42 am UTC

RTFM stands for "Read the fucking man(ual)". It is sometimes used when fools ask questions on forums that could easily be solved by reading the fucking manual.

This is not a real quote wrote:"How do I turn on the computer?"
"Do you mean the monitor?"
"Yeah."
"RTFM."

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Postby mwn3d » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:52 am UTC

this comic reminds me of unhelpful assholes in forums IRC channels who call you a noob and link you to documentation without even listening to your question.

also...
diamonds wrote:If you have no clue what "man" is (or can't prove why 0.9...=1 for that matter) you (probably) shouldn't be posting here.


THANK YOU for bringing up the 0.9... problem. my roommate last year would not believe any proofs i showed him of it.

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wileycount
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prank toasters and birthday fun

Postby wileycount » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:00 am UTC

Before I saw the title, I thought, "oh my, the toaster man can be vengeful to those who don't view his blog! Better be nicer to his minions."

SimonSwift's prank-toaster reminds me of the Sealab 2021 ep about Martian Law. "Crushed fingers!!! Get it?!!"

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Postby Alomax » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:01 am UTC

Nyarlathotep wrote:So, my toaster just turned into a robot and shot me with a missile. It's currently trying to tape a label to my friend Catherine. What do I do now?

Obviously, it is a bear in disguise.

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OneLess
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Postby OneLess » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:06 am UTC

"What the hell is a man page," I say to myself...So I google "man page". Quoth me, "Fucking Linux jokes!"

:D
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Melkarion
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Postby Melkarion » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:43 am UTC

Lest I be construed as a salesmongerer, I won't actually link this...
But did anyone else think of the thinkgeek "$> man woman" T-shirt upon reading this?

I think it's just because my second response to the joke, that part where you sit back and consider the oddity of the setup after the punchline has had its say, was "Why on earth IS there a man page for the toaster? It's a TOASTER. Don't they usually describe all the cool features on the box? Is an automatic stabbing arm something that I'd really consider a 'cool feature?' I wonder if it only does that if you try to trigger the toaster before the allotted time runs out..."

Which, of course, drew my mind to other things for which I sometimes wish there was adequate documentation.
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Postby gormster » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:49 am UTC

Nyarlathotep wrote:So, my toaster just turned into a robot and shot me with a missile. It's currently trying to tape a label to my friend Catherine. What do I do now?


RTFM
Eddie Izzard wrote:And poetry! Poetry is a lot like music, only less notes and more words.

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Postby AlphaPyro » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:54 am UTC

The first thing that came to my mind while reading this comic was this quote: http://bash.org/?4281
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

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Postby Arancaytar » Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:06 am UTC

Sadly, it did the same for me. This is a symptom of reading too much bash, I guess.

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Postby Peripatetic » Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:20 am UTC

Should have gotten his toaster from Ubuntu. Much nicer people over there.

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Postby Dark Ragnarok » Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:24 am UTC

i'm utterly thinking of foamy when i think about toasters.

http://www.illwillpress.com/toast.html

but comic was quite funny. i almost frgt what rtfm meant though.

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Postby ohki » Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:17 am UTC

One more time for all the people here who aren't getting it.

The following is an excerpt from man(1)'s man page.

Code: Select all

DESCRIPTION
       man is the system’s manual pager. Each page argument given  to  man  is
       normally  the  name of a program, utility or function.  The manual page
       associated with each of these arguments is then found and displayed.


You can read the whole thing by typing 'man man' into the terminal on any real computer. :wink:

Melkarion wrote:... "Why on earth IS there a man page for the toaster? It's a TOASTER. Don't they usually describe all the cool features on the box? Is an automatic stabbing arm something that I'd really consider a 'cool feature?' I wonder if it only does that if you try to trigger the toaster before the allotted time runs out..."


Hey, you never know what "undefined behavior" might be. Growing an arm and stabing you in the face might vary depending on compiler.

Now, how or why you would compile a toaster is beyond me.
But it raining and me peeing on your foot are NOT mutually exclusive.
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Postby PatrickRsGhost » Mon Jul 23, 2007 11:34 am UTC

Dark Ragnarok wrote:i'm utterly thinking of foamy when i think about toasters.

http://www.illwillpress.com/toast.html

but comic was quite funny. i almost frgt what rtfm meant though.


I was just about to go digging for that link, but you beat me to it. Dammit.
PRG

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Postby Krad23 » Mon Jul 23, 2007 11:40 am UTC


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Postby jc » Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:30 pm UTC

IrishFire wrote:"man" is short for manual?


Yes, but I have it aliased to "rtfm".

It's fun to watch onlooker's faces when I type that command.

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Postby Sprocket » Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:09 pm UTC

ohki wrote:Image


"I'm sorry I stabbed you in eye, Dave...but I'd do it again."

It kind of makes me happy when it (XKCD) gets so nerdy I don't have a chance in hell of understanding it, even once it's been explained. Let's me know he hasn't sold out. :-P <-- this does not look enough like a tongue.
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Postby wing » Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:34 pm UTC

mwn3d wrote:this comic reminds me of unhelpful assholes in forums IRC channels who call you a noob and link you to documentation without even listening to your question.


Or call you an idiot for running the software package on a Windows box. Because like, Windows isn't supported (even though there's a section in the manual 3 inches thick about it and they have official binaries available).

It's stuff like this that turns me off from opensource.
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Postby SuprousOxide » Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:56 pm UTC

This is not a real quote wrote:"How do I turn on the computer?"
"Do you mean the monitor?"
"Yeah."
"RTFM."


I typed "man monitor" but I can't read anything because the monitor's still black.

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Postby noonie » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:03 pm UTC

this reminded me of foamy and the amityville toaster.
anything i'd like to be remembered for saying can't be said to everyone.

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Postby Maurog » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:25 pm UTC

The first thing that crossed my mind when seeing the comic is this. I'm surprised nobody mentioned it yet. Dr. Toast's Amazing World of Toast is recommended reading anyway, especially the "ask Dr. Toast" section. Yeah.

PS: In my days of programming in Linux (forced, mind you), I very much liked the concept of man command, and equally hated the execution of that concept. It's like, great, I have help for everything, too bad it doesn't explain anything. On a level you can understand, anyway.

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Postby dskippy » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:36 pm UTC

mwn3d wrote:this comic reminds me of unhelpful assholes in forums IRC channels who call you a noob and link you to documentation without even listening to your question.


Oh man I feel your pain. Though interestingly enough, I was able to find a solution to the problem. The issue is that generally anti-social technophiles on IRC wan't to make sure that they don't enable people who are not will to do the reading. To a large decree they want to make these people look stupid as well. And nothing makes you look dumber than losing a flame war. So the next time you need the answer to some technical question, I suggest the following approach.

You: "mplayer sucks! There's no way to encode from windows media files to mpeg."
Them: You're an idoit! You just do this: <insert answer here>

I find that works pretty well.

-mike

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Postby Vaniver » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:41 pm UTC

I can totally see a Linux toaster stabbing its user for its default setting. You need to do crisp -t bread for it to actually toast, instead of defend itself. (Why is it crisp? Because toast would be too obvious!)
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

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Postby Arancaytar » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:46 pm UTC

dskippy wrote:
mwn3d wrote:this comic reminds me of unhelpful assholes in forums IRC channels who call you a noob and link you to documentation without even listening to your question.


Oh man I feel your pain. Though interestingly enough, I was able to find a solution to the problem. The issue is that generally anti-social technophiles on IRC wan't to make sure that they don't enable people who are not will to do the reading. To a large decree they want to make these people look stupid as well. And nothing makes you look dumber than losing a flame war. So the next time you need the answer to some technical question, I suggest the following approach.

You: "mplayer sucks! There's no way to encode from windows media files to mpeg."
Them: You're an idoit! You just do this: <insert answer here>

I find that works pretty well.

-mike


I'm so trying that next time I need help from Usenet. :lol:

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Postby dekonstruct » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:58 pm UTC

Randall, your toast monster has definitely beat my toast monster. Good show!


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