1100: "Vows"

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby Pfhorrest » Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:22 pm UTC

da Doctah wrote:It matters not what you call it. As George Carlin once pointed out, all sports other than (American) football and baseball are merely variations of ping-pong. Volleyball, he said, was paddle-less team ping-pong with an enlarged ball and raised net, played while standing on the table. With that perspective, it's not hard to see soccer as yet another form of ping-pong. Hockey too.

I'm still trying to decide if you can cram billiards into the same box.

I've always thought that all sports were abstractions from old-fashioned battlefields. And that it would be cool to have a modern-style sport which explicitly acknowledges that fact.

Every player gets a foam stick (your "sword"). Teams can choose any combination of different lengths of swords for their players. Maybe allow foam shields as well. Picking a good spread of sword lengths for your team is part of your gameplay strategy, and players may select a new combination of swords and shields each time they enter the field.

Whatever kind of sword someone has, if he tags you with it (despite your efforts to deflect with your own sword or shield), you must immediately leave the field (you are "dead"). You can only reenter if your team captain (your "king") tags you back in with a special foam rod (your "flag"), representing the ability of a state to raise an army.

The objective of the game is to seize exclusive control of some external objective, represented by a ball, which can be kicked or carried or even struck with a sword. Any team which does not have contact with the ball for some set period of time loses, representing a state losing access to some vital resource that this war is over.

The ball begins in the center of a field, the teams at either end of the field. All players and elements of the field are mobile and their position is not intrinsically important, but a standard game would likely consist of the king remaining at his team's starting point with the flag, guarded by some set of defensive players, and other offensive players rushing center field trying to bring the ball back to their "goal" (flag, king, and defenders), where it can best be guarded. The basic strategies would consist simply of seizing the ball and holding it until time runs out; but if you can kill the king and take their flag, you can also just defeat the other team by attrition. Of course if one of their team members can retake their flag, then they now have a new king and your attrition strategy has failed.

And yes, I'm aware that there are various battle games out there, like Amtgard and Dagorhir (I actually ran an Amtgard chapter for some time myself), but I see no reason why the basic gameplay mechanic couldn't be distilled out apart from the silly costumes and roleplay and complicated magic and ranged weapons and the like, to boil it down to its real essence: stick tag. Give the stick taggers a magic stick that tags you in rather than out like all the other sticks, and a ball to fight over, and I see no reason why it couldn't make a very versatile mainstream team sport.
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby meat.paste » Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:37 pm UTC

bmonk wrote:
New User wrote:It seems horseball has been forgotten by history. Not enough brain and spinal injuries, I imagine.

Tell that to the polo enthusiasts.
But it seems that in water polo, they don't use the horses. Sad. :lol:


Water polo WITH HORSES!!

I'd watch that, although it would be more civilized than regular water polo.
Huh? What?

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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby Pfhorrest » Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:51 pm UTC

meat.paste wrote:Water polo WITH HORSES!!

They have to be sea horses.

Giant mutant sea horses.

And the players have to be mermaids. Topless mermaids.

And put a volleyball net across the middle of the pool so they have to jump on their sea horses to get the ball across...

...I'll be in my bunk...
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Max™
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby Max™ » Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:16 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:
meat.paste wrote:Water polo WITH HORSES!!

They have to be sea horses.

Giant mutant sea horses.

And the players have to be mermaids. Topless mermaids.

And put a volleyball net across the middle of the pool so they have to jump on their sea horses to get the ball across...

...I'll be in my bunk...

I admit I did flash to Christina Hendricks nude riding a horse in the water, but still... wat?

Horses swim fine though, but not as well as elephants, use elephants for it, but give them sticks as well!
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:51 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:
da Doctah wrote:It matters not what you call it. As George Carlin once pointed out, all sports other than (American) football and baseball are merely variations of ping-pong. Volleyball, he said, was paddle-less team ping-pong with an enlarged ball and raised net, played while standing on the table. With that perspective, it's not hard to see soccer as yet another form of ping-pong. Hockey too.

I'm still trying to decide if you can cram billiards into the same box.

I've always thought that all sports were abstractions from old-fashioned battlefields. And that it would be cool to have a modern-style sport which explicitly acknowledges that fact.

Every player gets a foam stick (your "sword"). Teams can choose any combination of different lengths of swords for their players. Maybe allow foam shields as well. Picking a good spread of sword lengths for your team is part of your gameplay strategy, and players may select a new combination of swords and shields each time they enter the field.

Whatever kind of sword someone has, if he tags you with it (despite your efforts to deflect with your own sword or shield), you must immediately leave the field (you are "dead"). You can only reenter if your team captain (your "king") tags you back in with a special foam rod (your "flag"), representing the ability of a state to raise an army.

The objective of the game is to seize exclusive control of some external objective, represented by a ball, which can be kicked or carried or even struck with a sword. Any team which does not have contact with the ball for some set period of time loses, representing a state losing access to some vital resource that this war is over.

The ball begins in the center of a field, the teams at either end of the field. All players and elements of the field are mobile and their position is not intrinsically important, but a standard game would likely consist of the king remaining at his team's starting point with the flag, guarded by some set of defensive players, and other offensive players rushing center field trying to bring the ball back to their "goal" (flag, king, and defenders), where it can best be guarded. The basic strategies would consist simply of seizing the ball and holding it until time runs out; but if you can kill the king and take their flag, you can also just defeat the other team by attrition. Of course if one of their team members can retake their flag, then they now have a new king and your attrition strategy has failed.

And yes, I'm aware that there are various battle games out there, like Amtgard and Dagorhir (I actually ran an Amtgard chapter for some time myself), but I see no reason why the basic gameplay mechanic couldn't be distilled out apart from the silly costumes and roleplay and complicated magic and ranged weapons and the like, to boil it down to its real essence: stick tag. Give the stick taggers a magic stick that tags you in rather than out like all the other sticks, and a ball to fight over, and I see no reason why it couldn't make a very versatile mainstream team sport.


This already exists. 1. the SCA 2. Battle of the Nations (USA got roflstomped this year) (watch this on Youtube, its amazing) 3. AEMMA - the Academy of European Medieval Martial Arts (live steel, like Battle of the Nations)
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby mathmannix » Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:05 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:
meat.paste wrote:Water polo WITH HORSES!!

They have to be sea horses.

Giant mutant sea horses.

And the players have to be mermaids. Topless mermaids.

And put a volleyball net across the middle of the pool so they have to jump on their sea horses to get the ball across...

...I'll be in my bunk...


Pfft. Mermaids clearly wouldn't be able to ride horses, sea- or otherwise. Possibly side-saddle, I suppose, but imo, water polo should be normal women on giant mutant seahorses. Volleyball net, yes. But if both teams are topless, then they have to at least have body paint on so we know which team to root for.

Alas, we seem to have gotten a wee bit off the topic of the comic.
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby Whizbang » Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:10 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:But if both teams are topless, then they have to at least have body paint on so we know which team to root for.


Could do blondes vs brunettes.

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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby J Thomas » Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:27 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:Pfft. Mermaids clearly wouldn't be able to ride horses, sea- or otherwise. Possibly side-saddle, I suppose, but imo, water polo should be normal women on giant mutant seahorses. Volleyball net, yes. But if both teams are topless, then they have to at least have body paint on so we know which team to root for.

Alas, we seem to have gotten a wee bit off the topic of the comic.


Looking back at the comic, I find I can't begin to tell whether topless mermaid water polo is off topic.

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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:00 pm UTC

Max™ wrote:I admit I did flash to Christina Hendricks nude riding a horse in the water, but still... wat?


welp, there goes my productivity for the day...
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby Max™ » Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:09 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
mathmannix wrote:But if both teams are topless, then they have to at least have body paint on so we know which team to root for.


Could do blondes vs brunettes.

I'm sorry, all I got from that was "blondes could do brunettes", and something about Christina Hendricks mixed in for spice.

Sorry eran, guess I'm going to the special hell?
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:49 pm UTC

Max™ wrote:
Whizbang wrote:
mathmannix wrote:But if both teams are topless, then they have to at least have body paint on so we know which team to root for.


Could do blondes vs brunettes.

I'm sorry, all I got from that was "blondes could do brunettes", and something about Christina Hendricks mixed in for spice.

Sorry eran, guess I'm going to the special hell?


(sigh)

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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby CZeke » Tue Sep 18, 2012 6:31 am UTC

This had better prompt the officials to finally ban genjutsu.
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thevicente
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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby thevicente » Fri Sep 28, 2012 11:38 pm UTC

noticed stick figures have a nice butt when wearing wedding dress

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Re: 1100:" Vows"

Postby Diemo » Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:20 pm UTC

eran_rathan wrote:
Max™ wrote:I admit I did flash to Christina Hendricks nude riding a horse in the water, but still... wat?


welp, there goes my productivity for the day...


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