Lack of perspective does not excuse itself.
But my contention isn't that being shunned by classmates and disapproved of by teachers is heinous and horrible compared to starving and abused children. My contention is that it's still duress. Duress is subjective. If, as a child, you don't have the perspective necessary to recognize that you have a choice, then something that would not normally be considered duress for an adult, or even a child used to worse treatment, is definitely duress for you.
The same can be said for, for example, sexual pressure. Which is why a parent propositioning their child is considered illegal and otherwise heinous, where propositioning some random adult isn't: Among other reasons, because the child does not have the perspective necessary to realize that saying "no" to the adult and incurring their displeasure is not the worst thing that could happen.
Patriotism has quite a few benefits for the state.
That's neat. Don't care. The state is there to benefit its people, not the other way around.
I am not advocating that we teach every student to say "My country, right or wrong" as Decatur; but "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right" as Schurz.
I would argue that everyone already has this. Many of them just think it's currently wrong.
(Edit: Actually, no, many people would just prefer to jump ship. And why not? If another country is better, and more right, and more liveable, why should I be loyal to this one simply because I happened to be born here?)
I am advocating than every pacifist spoiled by never knowing anything other than the distant sight of war know that everything their lives was built on was fought for and died for,
That's called "history class".
and that this gives them a debt of respect, if not more.
And that's where you've started to teach "values" in school. Which I disagree with. If, upon hearing about the history, people feel respect, awesome, but it still remains that it's not up to an educational institution to tell you how you should feel.