God hates Shrimp

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zenten
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God hates Shrimp

Postby zenten » Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:09 pm UTC

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

And the best part is, the part of the new testament that is said to be against gay people *also* can be read the same way to be against shrimp.

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Postby 22/7 » Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:35 pm UTC

Awesome. The bible also comes out against cotton-poly blends, I hear.
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Infornographer
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Postby Infornographer » Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:37 pm UTC

But shrimp doesn't hurt the economy and undermine both the value of marriage as well as the infrastructure of an entire country while at the same time destroying education and promoting promiscuity.

Also, one time, I saw a gay man kick a puppy. On Sunday. He brought the puppy to church just so he could kick it in front of god.

ADDENDUM:

Also for great humor potential, see God Hates Sweden. Keep in mind though, the people who made this website acted in complete sincerity, and the website actually reflects the beliefs of those people (yes, the crazy WBC folks).
Last edited by Infornographer on Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:39 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

ZeroSum
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Postby ZeroSum » Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:37 pm UTC

Wait, how does what New Testament passage which purportedly opposes homosexuality translate into an admonition against crustaceans?

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Postby 22/7 » Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:38 pm UTC

ZeroSum wrote:Wait, how does what New Testament passage which purportedly opposes homosexuality translate into an admonition against crustaceans?


I was curious about that too but quickly got distracted with the church sign maker...
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Aetre
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Postby Aetre » Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:09 pm UTC

This is kind of an old game, but my favorite in the "god hates" series is this.

That, and godhatesfurries.com, which actually has nothing to do with religion at all. Even though it keeps getting hatemail on the subject.

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Pathway
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Postby Pathway » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:04 am UTC

ZeroSum wrote:Wait, how does what New Testament passage which purportedly opposes homosexuality translate into an admonition against crustaceans?


It doesn't.

Lying with a man as with a woman is abomination--and so is eating that which comes from the see but has not fins nor scales. The parallel is amusing, especially when you use shrimp.
SargeZT wrote:Oh dear no, I love penguins. They're my favorite animal ever besides cows.

The reason I would kill penguins would be, no one ever, ever fucking kills penguins.

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:14 am UTC

See, this is why I think the Bible is actually just a sort of 8th century comic book, and there was a lot of unsuccessful retconning going on.

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Amicitia
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Postby Amicitia » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:17 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:See, this is why I think the Bible is actually just a sort of 8th century comic book, and there was a lot of unsuccessful retconning going on.

Just like Swift is a cannibalistic monster?

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Postby pollywog » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:19 am UTC

*sigh* Is there anything that God does like?
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Mighty Jalapeno
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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:32 am UTC

pollywog wrote:*sigh* Is there anything that God does like?

Smashing open the skulls of the heathens and bathing one's feet in their blood... big fan.

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Postby Zohar » Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:19 am UTC

You're joking now but this is how Judaism is. It takes a lot of what's written in the bible for granted. So yes, no shrimp for us. There are 613 different commandments in the bible. It's just that Christians are lazy and got it to a much smaller number. You don't even have to go to church! (not that I'm religious in any way)

Also, I just wanted to mention that just because something is forbidden in the bible doesn't mean god hates it.
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SpitValve
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Re: God hates Shrimp

Postby SpitValve » Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:37 pm UTC

zenten wrote:http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

And the best part is, the part of the new testament that is said to be against gay people *also* can be read the same way to be against shrimp.


Except that Leviticus and all the bits about unclean foods are definitely in the Old Testament :P

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jestingrabbit
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Postby jestingrabbit » Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:42 pm UTC

Gnophilist wrote:But shrimp doesn't hurt the economy and undermine both the value of marriage as well as the infrastructure of an entire country while at the same time destroying education and promoting promiscuity.


I think its clear though that poly cotton blends do damage the fundamental building block of our culture, the family. With their ease of washing and ironing they have become a ubiquitous symbol of the emancipation of women from their laundry duties, freeing them to challenge the rightful male bastions of running things and being arseholes.

Woe unto you who wear your poly cotton blends, you chip away at the very core of our civilization itself!

@zohar: there are nonfundamentalist jews though, right? I remember seeing female rabbis talking about how its an outmoded text that needs to be seen in context iirc.

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Postby Bakemaster » Sat Sep 22, 2007 2:07 pm UTC

There are as many varied ways to be Jewish as there are to be any major religion.

For instance, last night was Kol Nidre and I was supposed to be fasting but instead I enjoyed some delicious bacon with an assortment of weirdos from some interweb netcomic boardum.
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
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Postby 22/7 » Sat Sep 22, 2007 6:43 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:It's just that Christians are lazy and got it to a much smaller number.


AHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're right, the difference between Jews and Christians are that Christians are lazy. It certainly has nothing to do with the *rest* of the Bible, or the fact that Christians believe that any time the OT and NT disagree, the NT should be followed. Thanks so much for clearing that up for me.

I'll let you figure this one out.
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Postby bbctol » Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:02 pm UTC

That sign generator is officially awesome, by the way.

link

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Postby muteKi » Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:35 pm UTC

Pathway wrote:
ZeroSum wrote:Wait, how does what New Testament passage which purportedly opposes homosexuality translate into an admonition against crustaceans?


It doesn't.

Lying with a man as with a woman is abomination--and so is eating that which comes from the see but has not fins nor scales. The parallel is amusing, especially when you use shrimp.



I'll say it for the second time today. "Lolfish" for I'm feeling lucky on Google.
Or better yet, don't. (i.e., NSFW)
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Pathway
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Postby Pathway » Sun Sep 23, 2007 5:53 am UTC

NO NO NO. DON'T DO IT.
SargeZT wrote:Oh dear no, I love penguins. They're my favorite animal ever besides cows.

The reason I would kill penguins would be, no one ever, ever fucking kills penguins.

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jestingrabbit
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Postby jestingrabbit » Sun Sep 23, 2007 11:40 am UTC

Pathway wrote:NO NO NO. DON'T DO IT.
I would like to second that. The internet doesn't need another goatse. It really doesn't.

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Postby 22/7 » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:01 pm UTC

You know what's weird? When I put up my avatar, I'm pretty sure it was the maximum allowable size (both horizontal and vertical) and so I'm curious how, muteKi, you managed to stretch that left column with an even larger avatar...
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Postby Maurog » Sun Sep 23, 2007 10:13 pm UTC

He used bigger pixels!
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Postby bbctol » Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:53 am UTC

Maurog wrote:He used bigger pixels!


I hope you're not serious.

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Postby Maurog » Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:15 am UTC

Hope is the last resort of the desperate.
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jestingrabbit
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Postby jestingrabbit » Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:30 am UTC

22/7 wrote:You know what's weird? When I put up my avatar, I'm pretty sure it was the maximum allowable size (both horizontal and vertical) and so I'm curious how, muteKi, you managed to stretch that left column with an even larger avatar...


I think the requirement has changed over time. [\offtopic]

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Postby panzyfaust » Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:10 pm UTC

More fun with the Old Covenant! :

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Postby 22/7 » Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:47 pm UTC

That's amazing. While I have listened to Dr. Laura quite a bit, and have agreed with her stances on relationships in general, my hunch is she never answered this letter.
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Postby Benitosimies » Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:43 pm UTC

If you want to know the reason for rules like this (as well as other awesome things) I suggest one of my favorite books.

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Postby 22/7 » Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:14 pm UTC

I think the point is that it's outdated.
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Postby Casey » Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:43 pm UTC

I took the liberty of pointing one of the site's co-creators to this thread, I suspect he'll be highly amused.

-c.

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Postby mosc » Tue Sep 25, 2007 9:45 pm UTC

jestingrabbit wrote:@zohar: there are nonfundamentalist jews though, right? I remember seeing female rabbis talking about how its an outmoded text that needs to be seen in context iirc.


The vast majority of Jews are not fundamentalists. Most do not literally interpret the bible like say, an evangelical Christian would. Not all Jews believe in any specific thing, including belief in God let alone more minor details like what females can and can't do or if shrimp are worthy of being eaten.
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Postby Vaniver » Tue Sep 25, 2007 10:05 pm UTC

Most do not literally interpret the bible like say, an evangelical Christian would.
The majority of evangelical Christians are actually very loose when it comes to interpreting the Bible.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

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Postby zenten » Tue Sep 25, 2007 10:19 pm UTC

mosc wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:@zohar: there are nonfundamentalist jews though, right? I remember seeing female rabbis talking about how its an outmoded text that needs to be seen in context iirc.


The vast majority of Jews are not fundamentalists. Most do not literally interpret the bible like say, an evangelical Christian would. Not all Jews believe in any specific thing, including belief in God let alone more minor details like what females can and can't do or if shrimp are worthy of being eaten.


Also, just for the record the same is true for Christians. Most Christians are not wackos either (or at least no more so than any other people).

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jestingrabbit
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Postby jestingrabbit » Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:54 am UTC

mosc wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:@zohar: there are nonfundamentalist jews though, right? I remember seeing female rabbis talking about how its an outmoded text that needs to be seen in context iirc.


The vast majority of Jews are not fundamentalists. Most do not literally interpret the bible like say, an evangelical Christian would. Not all Jews believe in any specific thing, including belief in God let alone more minor details like what females can and can't do or if shrimp are worthy of being eaten.


For sure, this is definitely my experience. I've got jewish relatives and some are strict whilst others aren't. It was more a rhetorical question than a serious enquiry.

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Postby RockMuncher » Wed Sep 26, 2007 4:29 pm UTC

What Christians seem to forget is that Leviticus was actually outlining cleanliness rituals... and at that time, there were a lot of things that could kill you if not prepared correctly. Pork, shellfish, er ... certain sexual acts... all of which were basically described as unclean, or an abomination.

It was quite logical at the time...

Certain actions minus the knowledge of bacteria or germs or the ability to really prepare prior to them = possible death.

And you had to ritually clean yourself if you participated in uncleanly acts... which resulted in fewer deaths.

I've heard it argued before by many religious students, but if you ignore the website, this article is a very good summation of the topic:

http://www.religion-is-bunk.org/homobib.html


It's very telling that various Christian sects (mainly the few individuals who try and grab media attention, and the well meaning but ultimately misinformed people who believe them) will grab onto any small verse or reasoning to justify a cultural bias. I think it's more telling of the current culture than of a religion.

Also... god must love shrimp (and clams, and mussels, and sea snails, and eels, and jellyfish, and squid, and every other non scaled/non finned sea critter), since he doesn't want anyone to eat them.

Save the shrimp!

edit- Also, from what I've read and studied of Christianity, it seems based on tolerance, forgiveness and the willingness to reach out and help everyone, no matter who or what they are. The problem is when humans come into the equation centuries later. Of course, I'm not Christian, so I could be wrong... but it's what I've gotten out of the Bible, and various translations therein.


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