The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Phen » Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:38 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:I've just read the conservapedia article on atheism.

Words fail me.

I think I've just found a new site to browse when I'm bored. :lol:

You're a mean, mean person. Stop making me visit that horrible, addicting site!
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Cynical Idealist » Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:41 pm UTC

Aikanaro wrote:Dear God, I'm afraid to think of what they say about OTHER religions (other than Islam, which it's a GIVEN they're going to tear apart). Buddhism for example, which doesn't exactly have a history of violence attached to it...

I only see two negative things attributed to Buddhism:
Many modern strains of Buddhism are atheistic in nature, thus creating a paradox as to why they are called a religion. They can be considered to be philosophies of life.

It should be noted that the ideals of tolerance and introspection among the Buddhist faithful were often ignored by the leaders of Buddhist nations (much like the leaders of most other nations often disobeyed their own religions fundamental laws in the in the interest of what was practical) [5] and persecution of Christians in predominantly Buddhist nations does occur today.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Xeio » Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:42 pm UTC

Phen wrote:You're a mean, mean person. Stop making me visit that horrible, addicting site!
They've distilled crazy into an artform. :mrgreen:

It's just too fun to read.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Aikanaro » Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:50 pm UTC

Rakysh wrote:
Aikanaro wrote:Dear God, I'm afraid to think of what they say about OTHER religions (other than Islam, which it's a GIVEN they're going to tear apart). Buddhism for example, which doesn't exactly have a history of violence attached to it...

I'd just like to mention that Tibet up until about a hundred years ago had a buddhist government that tortured peasants widely. Nobody has a history of perfection.

:shock:

Okay, that was news to me. Thank you for correcting my ignorance on this matter.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby The Reaper » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:06 pm UTC

Aikanaro wrote:
Rakysh wrote:I'd just like to mention that Tibet up until about a hundred years ago had a buddhist government that tortured peasants widely. Nobody has a history of perfection.

:shock:

Okay, that was news to me. Thank you for correcting my ignorance on this matter.

I'd just like to point out that Tibet still has a government that likes to do that, but I don't know if they're buddhist anymore. Hooray, China!

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Phen » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:14 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
Phen wrote:You're a mean, mean person. Stop making me visit that horrible, addicting site!
They've distilled crazy into an artform. :mrgreen:

It's just too fun to read.

Not when it's so rage-inducing.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Goldstein » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:20 pm UTC

I can't believe I was wasting my time trawling articles about gays, foreigners, women and intellectuals. What's the Conservative's natural enemy? Of course. It was there all along.

Conservapedia wrote:A liberal (also leftist) is someone who rejects logical and biblical standards, often for self-centered reasons. There are no coherent liberal standards; often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention, and who uses many words to say nothing. Liberalism began as a movement for individual liberties, but today is increasingly statist, and in Europe even socialistic.

Sadly, no references were provided with this text. You'll just have to take it as self-evident.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Rakysh » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:24 pm UTC

Duh. I mean, it's obvious. I think gays are people because I am self centred and crave attention.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby The Great Hippo » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:27 pm UTC

Keep in mind Poe's Law: Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article.

It's been mentioned before in this thread and it bares mentioning it again: It's very feasible that a great multitude of conservapedia's articles were written by trolls. Of course, Andy is apparently the real article (I still maintain that he's the internet's Andy Kaufman, but hey). Either way, they've had a long-standing problem with trolls who've helped make them sound even more ridiculous (not like they need help).

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Aikanaro » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:31 pm UTC

Hrmm, I looked up the WBC, and was disappointed. Can anyone else think of anyone/thing that pretty much ALL Conservatives are ashamed of, and pretend doesn't exist? (Apparently Dubya doesn't count for this site....)
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Rakysh » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:57 pm UTC

I'm fairly sure Schlafly has at least not-objected to that paragraph.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby oxoiron » Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:57 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:
Conservapedia wrote: Reasonable Explanations for Atheism

See main article: Causes of Atheism

There are a number of reasonable explanations for atheism:

* Some argue that atheism partly stems from a failure to fairly and judiciously consider the facts[128]

* Dr. Vitz has also stated other common factors he observed in the leading atheists he profiled: they were all intelligent and arrogant.[127]
Those are my two favorites. The irony of the first one is delicious, especially when you consider Conservapedia as a whole (that there group is all about "fairly and judiciously" considering the facts). The second one makes me laugh because the learned Dr. Vitz avers that all leading atheists he profiled are intelligent. I think he may be on to something...

Yes, yes. I know the leaders of almost any field can be expected to be intelligent, but a religous nut stating that atheists are intelligent is just too rich. Sadly, according to the point above that of Dr. Vitz, those intelligent atheists are unable to "fairly and judiciously consider the facts", a feat which is apparently well within the grasp of even the dimmest theist.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby apeman5291 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:24 am UTC

oxoiron wrote:Yes, yes. I know the leaders of almost any field can be expected to be intelligent, but a religous nut stating that atheists are intelligent is just too rich. Sadly, according to the point above that of Dr. Vitz, those intelligent atheists are unable to "fairly and judiciously consider the facts", a feat which is apparently well within the grasp of even the dimmest theist.
This is my favorite contradiction of thought from the liberal-bashing brand of conservatives. Almost in the same breath, you'll hear liberals described as "educational elitists taking over our universities" and then criticized for "ignoring basic logic and reason". Pick one, you can't have both.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:32 am UTC

Dibley wrote:There are two creation narratives. The first one, which is associated with the author P, goes from Genesis 1:1 to half way through 2:4. In the P account, It starts with the earth being "tohu v'bohu", usually translated as "formless and void", and the "breath/wind of Elohim" blows across the oceans. On the first day Elohim speaks light into existence, separates the light from the dark, calls them "Day" and "Night", and says that it's good. On the second day Elohim places a "r'qiyah", a dome, usually translated "firmament" or "expanse" in the ocean, separating the waters above from the waters below, and he calls it "Sky". This reflects ancient Jewish cosmology. They believed that the sky was a solid dome over everything, and that there were gates in the dome which God would open, and the water above would pour out, causing it to rain. On the third day Elohim commanded that there should be a separation of the water and the soil beneath the dome, and one would be called "Earth" and the other would be called "Seas", and that there should be plants on the earth. On the fourth day, Elohim said that there should be lights in the sky to separate day from night, so people would be able to establish a calendar, and some more lights as stars, just because your such a good customer. Note that the sun comes after light and plants. On the fifth day, Elohim created creatures of the sea and birds. On the sixth day, Elohim created all of the land animals, and then set to work on humans. He said that they should be "in our own image". From the grammar (Hebrew is a strictly gendered language) it's clear that he creates an unspecified but plural number of humans, and that there are both men and women in this group, and that when he said "in our own image" he was referring to the group collectively, rather than a single "Adam". Elohim tells the humans that they're in charge and they should "be fruitful and multiply", and he declares it "very good". On the seventh day he rested and established the sabbath.

The second narrative, identified with the author J, begins halfway through Genesis 2:4 and continues on through the whole Garden of Eden thing. The garden of Eden is part of the J narrative, and P doesn't really talk about it, unless I'm forgetting something. J starts off with a much different tone and structure, and says that when YHWH (J always says YHWH, and in fact J stands for Jahwist, the German spelling, P always says Elohim) began creating, before there were plants, because YHWH had not yet sent rains or made humans to till the soil, there was a "flow" that would well up from the ground and cover the earth. YHWH then formed man from mud, blew into his nostrils, and made him alive. This man is called "Ha'Adam", literally "the man", which is a pun on the homophonic word for soil. Adam is not a name, it's a title. He's "the man" because he's the only one at the present. Note that in this account he creates a single man, rather than a mixed group, and he creates him before the plants. Then YHWH creates a garden called Eden in the east, puts the man there, and you know what happens next. Interesting things you don't usually hear about the eden story: the snake is not associated with Satan, as the concept of Satan hadn't been invented yet. The only description the snake gets is that he was very clever, or "arum", a pun on the homophonic word for naked, which is used to describe the humans after they eat from the tree of knowledge (Ancient Jews in general and J in particular loved puns). Also, the "knowledge of good and evil" that the tree bestows is a Hebrew idiom for "everything", kinda like "a to z", and doesn't really have any moral subtext. Also, God says that the day they eat of the fruit they'll die. The snake says that if they eat it they would not die, their eyes would be opened and they would be like gods. When they end up eating the fruit, they don't die, they're eyes are opened, they gain knowledge of "good and evil", and YHWH says "Now that they are divine like us, we should kick them out before they eat from the tree of life and become immortal", and he kicks them out. God lied, the snake told the truth.

Oh hey, ninja'd, but damned if I wrote this for nothing.

With regard to the two accounts being separate, read up on the Documentary Hypothesis.

God didn't lie. According to the associated legends and commentaries, Adam and Chayah (that's Eve's original name in Hebrew) were immortal since, before they ate the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil, they ate the fruit from the Tree of Life whenever they wanted. Because they ate the Fruit of Knowledge, they got kicked out of the Garden of Eden, which made them mortal. They died (and hence we die) because they ate the wrong fruit.

Anyway, kol hakavod on knowing so damn much and on noticing the origins of Jewish humor ;-). The Midrash actually has some fairly weird stuff in it reconciling the two creation stories that I don't remember.

Alexius wrote:
Dibley wrote: From the grammar (Hebrew is a strictly gendered language) it's clear that he creates an unspecified but plural number of humans, and that there are both men and women in this group

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I always thought that Hebrew, like European gendered languages (eg French and Latin) uses the masculine plural for mixed-gender groups.
On the other hand,
Genesis 1:27 wrote:And God created man in His own image,in the image of God He created him, male and female he created them

The first instance of "man" in this verse is אֶת-הָאָדָם (et-ha-adam) which IIRC is singular and accusative ("and God created the man")

Apologies for any errors, my Hebrew is extremely rusty.

You've answered your own question. The text itself says "male and female He created them". Just for once, it rectifies its own ambiguity with a direct statement.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Gelsamel » Wed Dec 09, 2009 2:01 am UTC

That's the story I remembered. It was almost like a gry-joke as I remember being told it.

"You will die if you eat from that tree!"

"Whoa, we didn't die! Wth?"

"Well I meant you'd die eventually but not right away! Also you'd have all this suffering and stuff which is also "dying" and... yeah... See I technically didn't say that you would die right away even though it kind of sounds like that"
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Aikanaro » Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:08 am UTC

Well, compared to eternity, a century of life can count as "right away." If you wanna get technical about it, anyway.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Random832 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:52 am UTC

The Conservapedia guy is on Colbert right now.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby poxic » Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:56 am UTC

OH DEAR $DEITY, I have never wanted a working TV more than I do now...
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Gelsamel » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:02 am UTC

Working internets lets you watch Colbert online.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Kyrn » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:08 am UTC

Gelsamel wrote:Working internets lets you watch Colbert online.

Unless you're on a network which also disables/blocks video content (whee work).

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:14 am UTC

Kyrn wrote:
Gelsamel wrote:Working internets lets you watch Colbert online.

Unless you're on a network which also disables/blocks video content (whee work).

(don't ask why I'm here)


My work does the same thing. Oddly, I work for a telco, so all I have to do to watch it is turn on the TV behind me with the above-top-tier package and tune to the channel. However, I'm watching The Daily Show first.

Also, the logic of some of the articles is making my head hurt. This interview will either be great, or migraine inducing.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:14 am UTC

Kyrn wrote:
Gelsamel wrote:Working internets lets you watch Colbert online.

Unless you're on a network which also disables/blocks video content (whee work).

(don't ask why I'm here)

Or outside the United States of America.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Gelsamel » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:17 am UTC

aleflamedyud wrote:
Kyrn wrote:
Gelsamel wrote:Working internets lets you watch Colbert online.

Unless you're on a network which also disables/blocks video content (whee work).

(don't ask why I'm here)

Or outside the United States of America.


X-Forwarded-For Spoofer, or don't watch the full episodes just watch the individual clips on the site which aren't country restricted.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby poxic » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:31 am UTC

They're often still restricted in Canada, something to do with Them not liking our copyright laws or summat (or so I hear).
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Diadem » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:04 pm UTC

Here in Europe I can watch both The Daily Show and the Colbert Report on their own website. No need for proxies or logins. They are just available. Sometimes I get some stupid commercial for American products I can't even buy here, but that's about it.

Many US shows restrict online viewing to US citizens. But these two have always been an exception.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Phen » Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:31 pm UTC

Diadem wrote:Here in Europe I can watch both The Daily Show and the Colbert Report on their own website. No need for proxies or logins. They are just available. Sometimes I get some stupid commercial for American products I can't even buy here, but that's about it.

Many US shows restrict online viewing to US citizens. But these two have always been an exception.

They no longer show full episdoes, however.
Last edited by Phen on Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:38 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Diadem » Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:04 pm UTC

"now longer show"? do you mean "no longer show" or "now show longer"?

Probably the former. But as recently as yesterday I watched the full episode online, so I'm quite sure that's wrong.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Goldstein » Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:02 pm UTC

Colbert Nation addresses my people as follows:
Colbert Nation wrote:Dear Great Britain,

We're terribly sorry, but full episodes of The Colbert Report are not available.

But please don't send any Red Coats in retaliation at this time, as you CAN experience the truthiness at FXUK

Classy. Also, I don't want to alarm anyone but my computer's dictionary suggests that 'truthiness' may not be a real word.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Random832 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:13 pm UTC

Goldstein wrote:Classy. Also, I don't want to alarm anyone but my computer's dictionary suggests that 'truthiness' may not be a real word.


Don't look it up in a dictionary, look it up in your gut.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Dauric » Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:23 pm UTC

Random832 wrote:
Goldstein wrote:Classy. Also, I don't want to alarm anyone but my computer's dictionary suggests that 'truthiness' may not be a real word.


Don't look it up in a dictionary, look it up in your gut.


Reading this I had images of Hannibal Lecter carefully opening up a length of intestine in an attempt to find a dictionary-styled printing of "Truthiness"
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Pansori » Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:05 am UTC

Cynical Idealist wrote:
Many modern strains of Buddhism are atheistic in nature, thus creating a paradox as to why they are called a religion. They can be considered to be philosophies of life.



Modern western Buddhism there is more emphasis on the atheistic side, eastern Buddhism, especially southeastern, not so much. Either which way, Buddhism still has an element of distinguishing the sacred from the profane, which is one of the things that define a religion. Buddhism is what some would call an atheistic religion.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Diadem » Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:53 am UTC

Goldstein wrote:Colbert Nation addresses my people as follows:
Colbert Nation wrote:Dear Great Britain,

We're terribly sorry, but full episodes of The Colbert Report are not available.

But please don't send any Red Coats in retaliation at this time, as you CAN experience the truthiness at FXUK

Strange. I have no such problems here at the other side of the North Sea. Maybe it is because FXUk is broadcasting the show in the UK? Part of the deal for buying the show was probably that they wouldn't also give it away for free. That would at least make sense. As far as I know no station broadcasts the daily show or the colbert report here in NL, so that's probably why it's still free here.

Sucks though. Luckily there's always proxies.

Classy. Also, I don't want to alarm anyone but my computer's dictionary suggests that 'truthiness' may not be a real word.

Wikipedia knows. Though obviously its definition of the word will have liberal bias.

Damn, now I want to write a conservapedia entry on truthiness :)
It's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he is round the twist
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Goldstein » Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:41 am UTC

I'd never even heard of FXUK before, but their site tells me The Colbert Report is a 'Past show'. They have a dozen pictures of the programme, but that's really not the same. Guess I'll alert the Red Coats.
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby philsov » Thu Dec 10, 2009 9:01 pm UTC

Ha.

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Adolf Hitler 691,159
Liberal 633,870
Examples of Bias in Wikipedia 614,088

Retrieved from "http://www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics"


From the looks of it, it's getting more traffic from people coming to gawk at it than not.
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Mokele
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Mokele » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:07 pm UTC

For contrast to those figures (which, presumably, are totals over Conservapedia's lifetime):

Wikipedia pageviews for Lawn Darts (from 1-1-2009 to now): ~2,400,000
Wikipedia pageviews for Stephen Colbert (from 1-1-2009 to now): 1,224,830
Wikipedia pageviews for Barack Obama (from 1-1-2009 to now): 13,324,103

Wikipedia pageviews - Main Page (past 10 days): 42,639,117
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:14 am UTC

philsov wrote:Ha.

Most viewed pages
Main Page 6,239,999
Atheism 4,830,029
Homosexuality 3,439,170
Essay:Conservapedia's Law 1,812,862
Barack Hussein Obama 1,269,144
Wikipedia 836,947
Sarah Palin 724,898
Adolf Hitler 691,159
Liberal 633,870
Examples of Bias in Wikipedia 614,088

Retrieved from "http://www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics"


From the looks of it, it's getting more traffic from people coming to gawk at it than not.


Well that's certainly my reason for visiting it.
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Robstickle
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Robstickle » Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:06 pm UTC

I just made this edit, I expect to be banned shorty.

http://conservapedia.com/Colbert_Report ... _Bias_Here

In case it gets removed.

The Bias Here

Ok so I've been looking through various articles on this website and I have to ask. Why is there so much more bias here than on wikipedia? Let's look at a few examples. Your atheism page for example. You have a list of arguments against atheism with no mention for the counter arguments commonly made and a list of anti-atheism quotes with not a single pro-atheism quote. Your liberal page starts by completely ignoring any and all accepted definitions of liberal and simply starts with a small rant about liberals being self-centred, this sounds like nothing more than the opinion of the writer to me. I'm sure there are more to be found but frankly I see no reason to continue using this site. Thank you and good day. AlexRickets 13:04, 11 December 2009 (EST)


In case you're wondering why I'm using a fake name I got banned before when I tried to explain to them how horribly stupid their "liberal myths" page is.

Edit: As expected.

The block was made by Karajou. The reason given is Trolling / Liberal Trolling: If you have no reason to use this site, then I see no reason for you to have your silly rant posted. Have a nice day..

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:31 pm UTC

Funny how a perfectly reasonable complaint is construed as liberal trolling. :lol:
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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:49 pm UTC

Liberal trolling is a legit reason now? What about conservative trolling, do they ever ban for that?
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: The New Conservative Jesus: He's kind of a dick now.

Postby Dauric » Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:08 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Liberal trolling is a legit reason now? What about conservative trolling, do they ever ban for that?

Well all trolls are liberals or independents, conservatives are too godly to troll. They're just pontificating on the profundity of positive proofs for their position.

Hang on, I seem to have some manure to clear out of the way, it's getting deep in this post...
We're in the traffic-chopper over the XKCD boards where there's been a thread-derailment. A Liquified Godwin spill has evacuated threads in a fourty-post radius of the accident, Lolcats and TVTropes have broken free of their containers. It is believed that the Point has perished.


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