Everything Must GO? Several months until the Rapture?

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Iulus Cofield
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Iulus Cofield » Fri May 20, 2011 10:54 pm UTC

From my Facebook:

ATTENTION: If you are reading this message, you have not been saved. As we speak the dead are rising from the grave. Yes, the zombies are coming for us. All survivors in the Seattle area, gather as much non-perishable food, water, medical supplies, and weapons you can. My house is now a rally point. I am destroying the staircase and barricading the doors and windows as we speak. Do not lose hope. We will survive.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Telchar » Fri May 20, 2011 10:55 pm UTC

Well, as long as there's a reasonable explanation...I'm in. Rapture ahoy!

edit:

Iulus Cofield wrote:From my Facebook:

ATTENTION: If you are reading this message, you have not been saved. As we speak the dead are rising from the grave. Yes, the zombies are coming for us. All survivors in the Seattle area, gather as much non-perishable food, water, medical supplies, and weapons you can. My house is now a rally point. I am destroying the staircase and barricading the doors and windows as we speak. Do not lose hope. We will survive.


Man, why would you stay in Seattle in a zompocalypse? That's like actually living in Spokane but with less Zombies! /rimshot

But seriously, staying in large urban environments seems like a really bad idea.
Last edited by Telchar on Fri May 20, 2011 10:57 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby buddy431 » Fri May 20, 2011 10:56 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:It's not just saving for the children's college. It sounds like the parents have stopped supporting their children's futures at all.

The dad still has a good job. They aren't going to be destitute on the street because their parents have nutty religious beliefs. The kids are in high school - their parents only have to feed and clothe them a couple more years anyway. Not making as much money as you can does not make you a bad parent.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Aikanaro » Fri May 20, 2011 10:56 pm UTC

You know, it JUST now occurred to me to mention that I happen to live with a graveyard outside my bedroom window (not joking, but at least it's quiet at night).

buddy431 wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:It's not just saving for the children's college. It sounds like the parents have stopped supporting their children's futures at all.

The dad still has a good job. They aren't going to be destitute on the street because their parents have nutty religious beliefs. The kids are in high school - their parents only have to feed and clothe them a couple more years anyway. Not making as much money as you can does not make you a bad parent.

But not caring or making any plans for what happens to your children after you believe 1: You're going to be leaving for heaven, 2: THEY'RE still going to be stuck here, makes you a bad parent. Not to mention, "Now sweety, just so we're clear, after Saturday, Mommy and Daddy are going to be staying with God. You won't be joining us, you're going to be tortured for every instant for the rest of eternity, with agonies you cannot even imagine."
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby sourmìlk » Fri May 20, 2011 11:00 pm UTC

Aikanaro wrote:
buddy431 wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:It's not just saving for the children's college. It sounds like the parents have stopped supporting their children's futures at all.

The dad still has a good job. They aren't going to be destitute on the street because their parents have nutty religious beliefs. The kids are in high school - their parents only have to feed and clothe them a couple more years anyway. Not making as much money as you can does not make you a bad parent.

But not caring or making any plans for what happens to your children after you believe 1: You're going to be leaving for heaven, 2: THEY'RE still going to be stuck here, makes you a bad parent. Not to mention, "Now sweety, just so we're clear, after Saturday, Mommy and Daddy are going to be staying with God. You won't be joining us, you're going to be tortured for every instant for the rest of eternity, with agonies you cannot even imagine."


I don't get why these instances of verbal abuse aren't reported more often. There are catholic school teachers who tell their students that they deserve to be tortured for an eternity. How is it ever appropriate for a teacher to say that?
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Aikanaro » Fri May 20, 2011 11:03 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:
Aikanaro wrote:
buddy431 wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:It's not just saving for the children's college. It sounds like the parents have stopped supporting their children's futures at all.

The dad still has a good job. They aren't going to be destitute on the street because their parents have nutty religious beliefs. The kids are in high school - their parents only have to feed and clothe them a couple more years anyway. Not making as much money as you can does not make you a bad parent.

But not caring or making any plans for what happens to your children after you believe 1: You're going to be leaving for heaven, 2: THEY'RE still going to be stuck here, makes you a bad parent. Not to mention, "Now sweety, just so we're clear, after Saturday, Mommy and Daddy are going to be staying with God. You won't be joining us, you're going to be tortured for every instant for the rest of eternity, with agonies you cannot even imagine."


I don't get why these instances of verbal abuse aren't reported more often. There are catholic school teachers who tell their students that they deserve to be tortured for an eternity. How is it ever appropriate for a teacher to say that?

Oddly, I see THAT as a grey area, depending on wording. Basically, we all "deserve" it by God's judgement, but we don't need to WORRY, because we WON'T be. What the mom here is doing is basically saying, "You're GOING to be tortured, and it's YOUR FAULT." Not to mention I get a vibe of the mom not even CARING that much about it. I mean, your own DAUGHTER is going to hell, and you're not even shedding a tear?
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Soralin » Sat May 21, 2011 12:21 am UTC

Aikanaro wrote:Oddly, I see THAT as a grey area, depending on wording. Basically, we all "deserve" it by God's judgement, but we don't need to WORRY, because we WON'T be. What the mom here is doing is basically saying, "You're GOING to be tortured, and it's YOUR FAULT." Not to mention I get a vibe of the mom not even CARING that much about it. I mean, your own DAUGHTER is going to hell, and you're not even shedding a tear?

I don't see it as that different, if anything it seems like it could be worse. I mean, if you tell someone that they're going to be tortured forever, and they actually truly believe it, then they're going to live in constant fear and anguish and terror. But if you tell someone that they deserve to be tortured, and they actually truly believe it, that's soul-destroying, and they'll probably commit suicide or hurt themselves, or other self-destructive behaviors, since they truly believe it's what they deserve. And if they believe it about other people, I mean actually believe it, then nothing that causes harm or suffering to anyone is bad, that that's simply the way things should be. They may still think they're prohibited or compelled to do certain actions, but any empathy is completely incompatible with truly holding that belief, since it would mean that they disagreed with it, which means they don't truly think that that's what people deserve. It's something I can't see anyone actually believing without it damaging them, to the very core of their being.

Fortunately, not many people actually end up believing it, or at least believing it that deeply. They may say they believe those things, but without actually integrating it into the core of their beliefs, and adjusting everything else they believe accordingly. Which from what the children have said here, seems to be the case, which is a good thing.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby H2SO4 » Sat May 21, 2011 3:59 am UTC

Iulus Cofield wrote:From my Facebook:

From my Facebook:

Well guys, Rapture's coming! Better get your last-minute repenting in before your spirit and body separ
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Sockmonkey » Sat May 21, 2011 4:58 am UTC

Huh, my neighborhood is really quiet... :?



Oh crap. :shock:





Honestly the really depressing thing about this is that the nuts won't even have the good taste to feel sheepish, silly, or ashamed at being wrong and making asses of themselves and hurting people.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Wodashin » Sat May 21, 2011 5:03 am UTC

MY FAMILY IS NOW NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF LIFELESS BODIES! They're breathing and alive, but aren't doing anything. Their souls have left. Some might say they are asleep because it's midnight here, but I know the truth.

I have not been saved. :cry:

Oh well.

Today's gonna be hilarious.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby wtspman » Sat May 21, 2011 5:56 am UTC

I think that Camping guy got the date wrong. Here in Canada this is a long weekend, and everyone knows that Canadian Jesus (Jesus Murphy) will be at the cottage till Monday, turning water into beer, going fishing with his 12 buddies, riding on his jet ski. It will likely be coming home in the bumper-to-bumper traffic on Hwy 400 on Monday afternoon, he'll blurt out "When will this ever end?" And that will be it.
Last edited by wtspman on Sat May 21, 2011 7:05 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Magnanimous » Sat May 21, 2011 6:31 am UTC

I wonder if anyone's going to try a Big Daddy/Little Sister cosplay...
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby phlip » Sat May 21, 2011 8:02 am UTC

Well, it's 6pm here, and AFAICT noone near me has been raptured yet. But fear not, that doesn't mean the rapture's off, we are a nation of criminals after all. Could be that noone here is worthy.

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enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby sourmìlk » Sat May 21, 2011 8:04 am UTC

phlip wrote:Well, it's 6pm here, and AFAICT noone near me has been raptured yet. But fear not, that doesn't mean the rapture's off, we are a nation of criminals after all. Could be that noone here is worthy.


Well it's 1am here and nobody in my house has been raptured, but we're all Jewish Atheist heathens, so that means nothing.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Sat May 21, 2011 10:37 am UTC

As Brooklynxman pointed out, we are missing the fact that today is a very important day:
Spoiler:
SfCJ6.png
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby podbaydoor » Sat May 21, 2011 1:23 pm UTC

Good article about likely reactions of the "true believers":

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2 ... ing-react/
Drawing from the cult story above, my predictions are as follows:

1. After the rapture doesn’t happen, Camping and the populace of rapture-ready folks will go through a similar series of four stages: they’ll examine the prediction again (whoops, wrong date?), re-iterate their faith in the rapture, take time to contemplate, and become emotionally distressed.

2. After the rapture doesn’t happen, Camping (or another opinion leader on the subject) will put out a statement that essentially paraphrases what Mrs. Keech had written after the UFO didn’t arrive: “The little group, sitting alone all night long, had spread so much light that God saved the world from destruction”.

3. After the rapture doesn’t happen, Camping and his followers will be strengthened in their beliefs — especially those who gave up their livelihood or property in anticipation of the end. They won’t admit that Harold’s prediction was incorrect — the burden of admitting this will be too much to bear — so they’ll begin to believe more deeply in order to avoid a sense of shame.

4. After the rapture doesn’t happen, Camping and his followers will begin to proselytize more strongly. The social proof that they receive by doing this will make them feel validated and fuel further recruitment.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby sourmìlk » Sat May 21, 2011 1:28 pm UTC

So, I think there are parts of the world now that are on the 22nd now. Is he going to maintain that the rapture is coming on May 21st right until the international date line hits 12:00am or what?
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby el_loco_avs » Sat May 21, 2011 1:38 pm UTC

PhoenixEnigma wrote:As Brooklynxman pointed out, we are missing the fact that today is a very important day:
Spoiler:
SfCJ6.png


SWEET! FINALLY!
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby schismtracer » Sat May 21, 2011 2:57 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Good article about likely reactions of the "true believers":


Option 5: mass suicides at 6 pm.

It's unlikely, granted, but it would handily dodge the shame and/or mental contortions.

*edit*
Well, color me totally surprised: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/05/while_harold_camping_sits_safe.php
Last edited by schismtracer on Sun May 22, 2011 3:20 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Izawwlgood » Sat May 21, 2011 4:12 pm UTC

Check the EVE Online thread, someone posted a message that greeted everyone on log-in last night about the Rapture.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Triangle_Man » Sat May 21, 2011 4:19 pm UTC

Welp.

The days just begun and so far no signs of the rapture.

Looks like we're safe until the next time someone sets an arbitrary date for the apocalypse.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby CorruptUser » Sat May 21, 2011 7:03 pm UTC

We should find some of his believers and stomp around really hard so they think it's an earthquake.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby DavidSpencer » Sat May 21, 2011 7:11 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:We should find some of his believers and stomp around really hard so they think it's an earthquake.


That reminds me of a prank idea I heard about that involves going out at night and laying empty sets of clothing around the streets for people to find when they wake up.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby CorruptUser » Sat May 21, 2011 7:18 pm UTC

DavidSpencer wrote:That reminds me of a prank idea I heard about that involves going out at night and laying empty sets of clothing around the streets for people to find when they wake up.


Hah! It should be one type of clothing, e.g., "sorry, turns out only the Amish had it right" or something. Better yet, skimpy outfits and effeminate man-clothes, "sorry, sluts and (mansluts) are god's chosen because they make more people happy than you do".

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby periboob » Sat May 21, 2011 9:23 pm UTC

DavidSpencer wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:We should find some of his believers and stomp around really hard so they think it's an earthquake.


That reminds me of a prank idea I heard about that involves going out at night and laying empty sets of clothing around the streets for people to find when they wake up.


Why did the blog-o-sphere not creatively report a few signs of Armageddon at the local start time? would have been a good joke, but I guess there might have been some folks who took it too seriously and offed themselves.

I was taking reassurance from the fact that there were still posts coming from time zones where it is past 6pm, local standard. Obviously, if Australia, Japan, Europe... are still business as normal, then the rapture is not happening, and everything is cool. Then I heard that it was going to start on NY time.

But then I realized, if the evidence from the early timezones revealed that the faithful were flying off to heaven, I would likely be digging for my old bible to cram for finals. So, an imaginative, truly omnipotent creator would just continue to provide broadcasts and postings as normal from the early rapture regions, to make it look as if it was a normal day. This would keep minimize the flurry of last minute conversions to maybe prevent God's computer having a melt down with the flood of last minute applications. So, guess I will have to wait a couple more hours.

When he does get around to the rapture, I have a suggestion for God --at least the first step. Rather than taking all the faithful directly to heaven. Everyone who drives around with collection of devout bumper stickers, should be selectively chosen to spread the gospel in one of the more needy zones. e.g., Here in the bible-belt, I would suggest that they be provided with a full tank of gas, and zap-transferred to say, a busy street in Iran. There, they could drive around and allow the crowds to be shown the true word.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby WalkerRiley » Sat May 21, 2011 10:21 pm UTC

This just in. 200 million dolphins were raptured today. Just up and disappeared.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Gears » Sat May 21, 2011 10:45 pm UTC

Today was a good rapture. Nice weather. Played some football and bought new pants.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Lostdreams » Sat May 21, 2011 10:57 pm UTC

Spoiler:
No Rapture Randy.jpg
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Vaskafdt » Sat May 21, 2011 11:31 pm UTC

WalkerRiley wrote:This just in. 200 million dolphins were raptured today. Just up and disappeared.



did they leave any message or last words?
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Radical_Initiator » Sat May 21, 2011 11:33 pm UTC

WalkerRiley wrote:This just in. 200 million dolphins were raptured today. Just up and disappeared.


Did they leave a note? Anything thanking us for all the fish?

Lostdreams wrote:
Spoiler:
No Rapture Randy.jpg


Snap into eternity! OOOOH YEAAAH!

Well, unless the dear fluffy one is waiting for the last time zone, the rapture has passed the Eastern time zone once again. And Central, assuming he's not waiting until the top of the hour. Strangely, I'm having a hard time getting through to Camping's Family Radio website. Wonder why?
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby CorruptUser » Sun May 22, 2011 12:34 am UTC

Radical_Initiator wrote:Well, unless the dear fluffy one is waiting for the last time zone, the rapture has passed the Eastern time zone once again. And Central, assuming he's not waiting until the top of the hour. Strangely, I'm having a hard time getting through to Camping's Family Radio website. Wonder why?


Because he got raptured and can't respond from heaven :P

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby WalkerRiley » Sun May 22, 2011 12:39 am UTC

Radical_Initiator wrote:
WalkerRiley wrote:This just in. 200 million dolphins were raptured today. Just up and disappeared.


Did they leave a note? Anything thanking us for all the fish?




No nothing quite so intelligent. Just a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backward somersault through a hoop while whistling the "Star Spangled Banner." Dumb animals.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby Levi » Sun May 22, 2011 2:51 am UTC

It's now 11 pm in my time zone. I can't wait for a statement from Camping and the gang.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby podbaydoor » Sun May 22, 2011 4:33 am UTC

Gizmodo has collected some of the best "Rapture bomb" photos.
http://gizmodo.com/5804259/the-best-rap ... /gallery/1
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noun
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tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby addams » Sun May 22, 2011 5:16 am UTC

IcedT wrote:
Sheikh al-Majaneen wrote:
Aikanaro wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:
Aikanaro wrote:No, no, the rage was at telling their own children that they are going to hell. The rest I just feel contempt for, or sadness/disgust at the children not getting a college education, but THAT? Rage.


Oh yeah, tons of fundamentalists are like that. I have a friend whose parents yell at her because of her political opinions. She once voiced support for gay marriage, they yelled at her. When her mom said (after hearing Donald Trump question Obama's place of birth) that Trump would make a good president, my friend just responded "he doesn't have political experience." Her mom yelled at her.

"Damnit, child, stop applying logic at me!"

His lack of political experience is not the reason he would make a terrible president.

Agreed. His lack of hair is clearly the biggest problem.

D. Trump IS an ugly man. I have read that he is an Alien. They are the Orange men. Boner is one, too. And, Bill O'Rilley.
Trump is more powerful than the president. The Orange men control the conversation.
Back to the Rapture. I have allowed myself to think that they got it backwards. The Assholes will be taken. When I wake up in the morning, everyone will be reasonable and easy to get along with.
That would be nice.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby LaserGuy » Sun May 22, 2011 5:24 am UTC

schismtracer wrote:Well, color me totally surprised: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011 ... s_safe.php


Wow. That is really disturbing.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby sourmìlk » Sun May 22, 2011 5:32 am UTC

LaserGuy wrote:
schismtracer wrote:Well, color me totally surprised: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011 ... s_safe.php


Wow. That is really disturbing.


And expected :/

Seriously though, I haven't talked to a single Christian today: did the rapture happen or not?
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby LaserGuy » Sun May 22, 2011 5:35 am UTC

sourmìlk wrote:
LaserGuy wrote:
schismtracer wrote:Well, color me totally surprised: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011 ... s_safe.php


Wow. That is really disturbing.


And expected :/

Seriously though, I haven't talked to a single Christian today: did the rapture happen or not?


Well, if the rapture did happen, Harold Camping and his followers apparently were not among those who made the cut.

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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby sourmìlk » Sun May 22, 2011 5:51 am UTC

LaserGuy wrote:Well, if the rapture did happen, Harold Camping and his followers apparently were not among those who made the cut.

Oh. We still don't have a reaction from them? I was looking forward to one.
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Re: Everything Must GO! One Week until the Rapture!

Postby gmalivuk » Sun May 22, 2011 6:02 am UTC

WalkerRiley wrote:This just in. 200 million dolphins were raptured today. Just up and disappeared.
Wow. Where did the other 199 million come from all of a sudden?
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