In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:31 am UTC

False imprisonment, intentional causing of emotional distress ... right.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Randomizer » Wed Nov 16, 2011 4:03 am UTC

The solution to this is obviously the extinction of the cockroach. But then I always think that.

Roaches are ******* nasty. While I wouldn't necessarily agree with the specific terms used (false imprisonment, etc.) I have no problem with the airline getting sued over this. I mean, if it were a restaurant and there were roaches crawling all over the kitchen the health inspectors would shut them down. The $100,000 sends the message to the airlines to keep their ******* planes clean and vermin-free.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby dragon » Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:17 am UTC

Better be careful with those asterisks. I take it you haven't seen what the mods are like about swearing around here.
Context? What context?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby poxic » Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:25 am UTC

Ooh, you're right. They're quite fucking likely to bring out the shitcanning of asterisks by massive hellacious titramming of asscunts. Darn it all to heck.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby broken_escalator » Wed Nov 16, 2011 5:05 pm UTC

False imprisonment? Seems to me like a shotgun lawsuit to deal with the cockroach problem. Personally I would prefer either a chemical or flame based weapon to deal with the cockroaches.

This ******* thread is easily my ******* favorite thread in N&A. Sorry for ******** jumping on the **** ****** asterisk bandwagon.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby LaserGuy » Wed Nov 16, 2011 5:15 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:I think at this point, it wouldn't be a surprise to hear that every living human had a common human ancestor, we know there have been some severe bottlenecks in population at certain points, and it's not difficult to imagine that everyone at one of those bottlenecks had a common ancestor.


Mitochondrial Eve is the most recent common ancestor of all currently living humans on the maternal side; Y-chromosomal Adam is the most recent common ancestor on the paternal side. [edit]Note that the names are not representative of anything of particular significance. They lived many thousands of years apart. Moreover, they were not the most recent common ancestors at the time that they were alive.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:49 am UTC

Hey, if we're exterminating any insect species, can we start with mosquitoes? Just thought I'd say...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Shivahn » Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:55 am UTC

LaserGuy wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:I think at this point, it wouldn't be a surprise to hear that every living human had a common human ancestor, we know there have been some severe bottlenecks in population at certain points, and it's not difficult to imagine that everyone at one of those bottlenecks had a common ancestor.


Mitochondrial Eve is the most recent common ancestor of all currently living humans on the maternal side; Y-chromosomal Adam is the most recent common ancestor on the paternal side. [edit]Note that the names are not representative of anything of particular significance. They lived many thousands of years apart. Moreover, they were not the most recent common ancestors at the time that they were alive.


Also it should probably be noted that if you go back far enough you'll find that every known living thing has a common ancestor, so finding one for humans is doubly unsurprising :P

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jplus » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:34 am UTC

Shivahn wrote:Also it should probably be noted that if you go back far enough you'll find that every known living thing has a common ancestor, so finding one for humans is doubly unsurprising :P

Hm. I think that's not entirely sure yet for viruses (you may argue that viruses are not alive, but ancestral relationships do apply). Also, eukaryotes are a bit vague in this respect... the last common ancestor is probably not the same for different groups of prokaryotes, even though the eukaryotes themselves are almost certainly monophyletic.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:52 am UTC

Yeah, the tree of life really isn't, it's more of a sponge.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Diadem » Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:11 pm UTC

Shivahn wrote:
LaserGuy wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:I think at this point, it wouldn't be a surprise to hear that every living human had a common human ancestor, we know there have been some severe bottlenecks in population at certain points, and it's not difficult to imagine that everyone at one of those bottlenecks had a common ancestor.


Mitochondrial Eve is the most recent common ancestor of all currently living humans on the maternal side; Y-chromosomal Adam is the most recent common ancestor on the paternal side. [edit]Note that the names are not representative of anything of particular significance. They lived many thousands of years apart. Moreover, they were not the most recent common ancestors at the time that they were alive.


Also it should probably be noted that if you go back far enough you'll find that every known living thing has a common ancestor, so finding one for humans is doubly unsurprising :P

It should also be noted that Mitochondrial Eve is just the most recent common ancestor of all females through a direct female line. That makes her also a common ancestor of all humans of course, since all males have female ancestors, but she is neither the only one nor the most recent one.

Direct matrilinearity is a strong constraint. You only have one ancestor through a direct female line, no matter how many generations you go back, but that's hardly your only ancestor. The most recent common ancestor is thus much more recent than the most recent common matrilinear ancestor. Surprisingly recent, imho. According to some estimates the most recent common ancestor of all humans may have lived as little as 5000 years ago. And every ancestor of that human is also a common ancestor of us all. So only a few thousand years longer ago you come to the point that any human alive then who has living offspring today is a ancestor of all humans. In short, if you go back 10,000 years or so every single one of us has the exact same ancestors.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby TheSoberPirate » Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:22 pm UTC

Diadem wrote:According to some estimates the most recent common ancestor of all humans may have lived as little as 5000 years ago. And every ancestor of that human is also a common ancestor of us all. So only a few thousand years longer ago you come to the point that any human alive then who has living offspring today is a ancestor of all humans. In short, if you go back 10,000 years or so every single one of us has the exact same ancestors.

I might be misunderstanding something, but isn't 5,000 years much too recent to account for the migrations that created the various haplogroups in the first place? For instance, since the Americas were settled by a migration that occurred something like 10-13,000 years ago, shouldn't modern Native American's and Asian's MRCA have to predate this?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jessica » Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:26 pm UTC

TheSoberPirate wrote:
Diadem wrote:According to some estimates the most recent common ancestor of all humans may have lived as little as 5000 years ago. And every ancestor of that human is also a common ancestor of us all. So only a few thousand years longer ago you come to the point that any human alive then who has living offspring today is a ancestor of all humans. In short, if you go back 10,000 years or so every single one of us has the exact same ancestors.

I might be misunderstanding something, but isn't 5,000 years much too recent to account for the migrations that created the various haplogroups in the first place? For instance, since the Americas were settled by a migration that occurred something like 10-13,000 years ago, shouldn't modern Native American's and Asian's MRCA have to predate this?
Those numbers look like they are missing zeros. But, I haven't actually studied it. So, that would be interesting if it is correct.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Magnanimous » Thu Nov 17, 2011 7:38 pm UTC

bigglesworth wrote:Yeah, the tree of life really isn't, it's more of a sponge.

It's more like a big blob of wibbly-wobbly, lifey-wifey... stuff...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Plasma Man » Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:22 pm UTC

Benetton trolls, Vatican unhappy. To be honest, I think both sides are being asshats.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby kiklion » Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:43 pm UTC

Should be protected under creative works but duno where it was created.

I think the creator is being awesome.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Decker » Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:45 pm UTC

kiklion wrote:Should be protected under creative works but duno where it was created.

I think the creator is being awesome.

Is the Pope public domain?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:57 pm UTC

Decker wrote:
kiklion wrote:Should be protected under creative works but duno where it was created.

I think the creator is being awesome.

Is the Pope public domain?


He's a public figure which reduces his rights to his image (at least according to copyright law). Thing is they're not alleging anything illegal, just that it's "Damaging to the dignity of the pope and the feelings of believers."* and the Italian clothing company discontinued the use of that one image in their marketing (though odds are that image is getting more views on the internet than the rest combined, controversy in advertising.)

*As a non-christian, cry me a fucking river.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Decker » Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:01 pm UTC

Dauric wrote:*As a non-christian, cry me a fucking river.

Just had to get your shots in, huh?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:14 pm UTC

Decker wrote:
Dauric wrote:*As a non-christian, cry me a fucking river.

Just had to get your shots in, huh?


Yes.

The irony of course is that had they not gotten their delicates in a twist and showed a modicum of stoicism over the ad it probably wouldn't have become the wider meme that it has become.

Edit:

To be clear, I'd have made that shot if it was Coca Cola, or Nike that came out with a press release about some bit of satire "Hurting their feelings". It's not simply that it's an organized religion that's whining about hurt feelings, but that it's a multi-billion dollar organization with worldwide political and cultural influence that can't take the pitfalls of fame and notoriety. That it's a religious organization that routinely uses this influence to impose itself on other nations only exacerbates the outrageousness of their complaint.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jessica » Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:40 pm UTC

Swiss can ban naked hiking, court rules.
Spoiler:
Swiss can ban naked hiking, court rules

Switzerland's highest court has ruled that local authorities can impose fines on people hiking nude in the Alps.

The federal court threw out an appeal by a man who was fined after hiking past a family picnic area with no clothes on.

Judges said the eastern canton (region) of Appenzell had been entitled to uphold a law on public decency.

They said the ban on naked hiking was only a marginal infringement on personal freedom.

Although Switzerland does not have a law against public nudity it does have one against public indecency.

The man had been fined 100 Swiss francs (£69; $109) after he walked naked past a family with small children at a picnic area and a Christian rehabilitation centre for drug users in Appenzell.

"It is not overly high-handed to qualify naked hiking as a breach of decency customs," the court said in a statement.

The BBC's Imogen Foulkes in Geneva says naked hiking is an increasingly popular pastime in Switzerland.

However, Appenzell is a deeply devout and conservative canton - it only granted women the right to vote in 1990 - and the influx of naked hikers has offended many local people, she adds.

The new ruling applies to the entire country.

Naked hikers may now have to look for another country which offers them a warmer welcome, our correspondent says.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Роберт » Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:59 pm UTC

Dauric wrote:*As a non-christian pope-worshipping Catholic, cry me a fucking river.

FTFY. Not all Christians are Catholic, and not all Catholics care.

Should we have a "Photoshop the pope kissing someone" day? That sounds like fun.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:09 pm UTC

I expect something like that to emerge from 4chan or Reddit in response.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:33 pm UTC

Reminds me of the Benneton ad of a black man and a white man (wearing similar clothing) handcuffed together. Several complaints were received about the racism in having a black prisoner on the advert, why couldn't it be a white one?

Spoiler:
The ad doesn't actually state the black man is a prisoner.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby buddy431 » Fri Nov 18, 2011 5:41 am UTC

Jessica wrote:
TheSoberPirate wrote:
Diadem wrote:According to some estimates the most recent common ancestor of all humans may have lived as little as 5000 years ago. And every ancestor of that human is also a common ancestor of us all. So only a few thousand years longer ago you come to the point that any human alive then who has living offspring today is a ancestor of all humans. In short, if you go back 10,000 years or so every single one of us has the exact same ancestors.

I might be misunderstanding something, but isn't 5,000 years much too recent to account for the migrations that created the various haplogroups in the first place? For instance, since the Americas were settled by a migration that occurred something like 10-13,000 years ago, shouldn't modern Native American's and Asian's MRCA have to predate this?
Those numbers look like they are missing zeros. But, I haven't actually studied it. So, that would be interesting if it is correct.


http://tedlab.mit.edu/~dr/Papers/Rohde-MRCA-two.pdf

The model assumes a small but sufficient rate of contact between Siberia and Alaska past the closing of the land bridge to indeed allow even "native" Americans to have a more recent common ancestor with Europeans than the initial migration. I have no clue how valid this assumption is.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Zamfir » Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:46 am UTC

People underestimate how much ancestors they have. At 4 generations each century, you have 1000 billion ancestors in the year 1000, and that squared in the year 0. Mostly the same people of course, but it does mean that if a single person from region A leaves children in region B, it already creates a ancestry " shortcut" between all the people in those regions in about half to a whole millenium.

That's very different from the matrilineal lines of "mitochrondial eve", which doesn't have this mixing. If two people share the same matrilineal ancestor some time ago, then odds are that nearly all of their lines of ancestry pass though a single cohesive group. After all, the matrilineal line is just one basically random sample out of all ancestry lines.

So you need nearly perfect isolation between regions to prevent common ancestors within a few thousands years. if some Vikings or anybody else from Africa or Eurasia arrived in the Americas before the year 1000 and had surviving grandkids there, then odds are that all people in the Americas have them somewhere in their family tree by now. The same of course with people from the Americas making it to the other continents.

But even Columbus and the first wave of European invaders is 400 to 500 years ago. There can't be many people in the Americas who are completely sure that none of their ancestors in those centuries came from Eurasia or Africa. We're talking about a 100,000 to low millions of ancestors. And even with the main flow of people in the other direction, there must have been people with some American ancestors going to Europe as well

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby AvatarIII » Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:49 am UTC

LaserGuy wrote:
AvatarIII wrote:I think at this point, it wouldn't be a surprise to hear that every living human had a common human ancestor, we know there have been some severe bottlenecks in population at certain points, and it's not difficult to imagine that everyone at one of those bottlenecks had a common ancestor.


Mitochondrial Eve is the most recent common ancestor of all currently living humans on the maternal side; Y-chromosomal Adam is the most recent common ancestor on the paternal side. [edit]Note that the names are not representative of anything of particular significance. They lived many thousands of years apart. Moreover, they were not the most recent common ancestors at the time that they were alive.


if y-chromosomal Adam is a common ancestor of all males, wouldn't his mother also be a common maternal ancestor of all humans? or am I missing something?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Ubik » Fri Nov 18, 2011 10:38 am UTC

He could have had children with several women. It's just that the lineages of other men of the same period eventually died (the male side to be exact), not that he was the only male in existence at some point.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby adho » Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:29 am UTC

Ubik wrote:He could have had children with several women. It's just that the lineages of other men of the same period eventually died (the male side to be exact), not that he was the only male in existence at some point.

Doesn't preclude what Avatar said, I am also confused by this.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Ubik » Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:05 pm UTC

The Y-Adam thing also applies to only people with Y chromosome, not all humans. XX-people's genetic heritage is not "bottlenecked" by that person.

Am I still missing something?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:25 pm UTC

I believe mitochondrial Eve is the person with direct female line to every single person on the planet. Y-Adam's mother is indeed a common ancestor (as indeed are all of Y-Adam's ancestors), but she doesn't represent an unbroken female line.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Zamfir » Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:58 pm UTC

Ubik wrote:The Y-Adam thing also applies to only people with Y chromosome, not all humans. XX-people's genetic heritage is not "bottlenecked" by that person.

Am I still missing something?

Well, look at it this way: a pure matrilineal (or patrilineal) line is like random sample out of all your myriad ancestral lines. You can look at the divergence in mitochondrial DNA between two people from different regions, and estimate how long ago they were separated. If you repeat this exercise a few times (every time with someone from region 1 and someone from region 2) and you keep getting similar times since separation, then it's likely that most of their ancestral lines have been separated since the same time.

Not just the patrilineal or matrilineal lines, but all of their lines. Which suggests that these groups of people can trace most of their ancestry to a single, genetically well-mixed group of people about that time ago. Which is useful info for migration histories etc.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jessica » Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:20 pm UTC

buddy431 wrote:
Jessica wrote:
TheSoberPirate wrote:
Diadem wrote:According to some estimates the most recent common ancestor of all humans may have lived as little as 5000 years ago. And every ancestor of that human is also a common ancestor of us all. So only a few thousand years longer ago you come to the point that any human alive then who has living offspring today is a ancestor of all humans. In short, if you go back 10,000 years or so every single one of us has the exact same ancestors.
I might be misunderstanding something, but isn't 5,000 years much too recent to account for the migrations that created the various haplogroups in the first place? For instance, since the Americas were settled by a migration that occurred something like 10-13,000 years ago, shouldn't modern Native American's and Asian's MRCA have to predate this?
Those numbers look like they are missing zeros. But, I haven't actually studied it. So, that would be interesting if it is correct.
http://tedlab.mit.edu/~dr/Papers/Rohde-MRCA-two.pdf

The model assumes a small but sufficient rate of contact between Siberia and Alaska past the closing of the land bridge to indeed allow even "native" Americans to have a more recent common ancestor with Europeans than the initial migration. I have no clue how valid this assumption is.
Thank you! That is really cool.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby TheSoberPirate » Fri Nov 18, 2011 10:39 pm UTC

Thanks buddy and Zamfir, I had a feeling I was missing something. I was thinking more in terms of the MRCA between two species, rather than the one within a species. Turns out that's not really useful when the "lines" aren't permanently separate and regularly cross and occasionally merge back together.
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Indeed.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Darryl » Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:00 am UTC

I'm pretty sure this qualifies.

Especially given that apparently, lack of hydration is a symptom, not the cause, of dehydration. At least according to the EU.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:05 am UTC

What?


By simple logic, having water completely fixes the problem of not having water.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Torchship » Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:24 am UTC

Man shoots at White House, is charged with attempted assassination.

Unfortunately for him, Obama wasn't in the country, much less the White House at the time.

Spoiler:
Pittsburgh (CNN) -- An Idaho man who acquaintances say called President Barack Obama "the anti-Christ" was charged Thursday with trying to assassinate him in a shooting incident outside the White House, federal authorities said.
Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, 21, is accused of firing shots at the White House on Friday, including some that hit the building near the residence area where Obama and his family live, according to a complaint document made public after the suspect's initial court hearing Thursday.
One witness described to investigators hearing about "eight sounds of popping noise" and seeing "puffs of air" from a car on Constitution Avenue near the White House, an FBI agent's sworn statement said.

One bullet hit a window and was stopped by bulletproof glass, and another was found on the White House exterior, the Secret Service said.
Investigators found a semi-automatic rifle, several boxes of ammunition and nine spent shell casings in a car owned by Ortega-Hernandez that was parked several blocks away on the lawn of the National Institute of Peace, the agent's affidavit said.
White House shooter suspect in custody White House shooting suspect charged
Ortega-Hernandez was charged with attempted assassination, Assistant U.S. Attorney Jimmy Kitchen said Thursday at the suspect's initial court hearing in Pittsburgh. The charge carries a possible maximum penalty of life in prison and a $250,000 fine.
At the brief hearing, Ortega-Hernandez spoke once, answering "yes, ma'am" when Magistrate Cynthia Eddy asked if he understood what his federal defender had said on his behalf.
Eddy agreed with a prosecution request for Ortega-Hernandez to remain in custody. Ortega-Hernandez agreed to be extradited to the District of Columbia, and the federal defender, Christopher Brown, said the defendant reserved his right for a detention and preliminary hearing after the transfer.
The government agreed not to formally indict Ortega-Hernandez until after his transfer, Brown said. It was not immediately clear when the transfer would occur, but it was expected in coming days.
With long, tangled hair and a beard, Ortega-Hernandez wore a white jumpsuit and was handcuffed with legs chained when entering the courtroom guarded by U.S. marshals.
Guards removed the handcuffs for the hearing, but the leg chains remained on as he sat down.
The complaint document said that on the night of November 11, two witnesses saw shots fired toward the White House through the window of a car on Constitution Avenue. The car's Idaho plates registered to Ortega-Hernandez.
Another witness saw a man run away from the same vehicle a few blocks away, the complaint document said. From the vehicle, police recovered a rifle of the same caliber as recovered shells from the White House grounds, it said.
A law enforcement official told CNN on Thursday that a trace of the weapon did not show Ortega-Hernandez as the purchaser.
The official, who was not authorized to speak about the ongoing investigation, provided no further information on the weapon's purchase.
According to three acquaintances cited in the complaint document, Ortega-Hernandez considered Obama the cause of his problems and referred to him at times as the "anti-Christ" and the devil.
One witness -- identified only as "W-4" -- told investigators that Ortega-Hernandez "has increasingly become more agitated against the federal government, and is convinced that the federal government is conspiring against him," the FBI agent's affidavit said.
He "wanted to 'hurt' President Obama and referred to him as 'the anti-Christ,'" the witness said.
Another witness -- identified as "W-6" -- also quoted Ortega-Hernandez calling Obama "the anti-Christ." This witness told agents Ortega-Hernandez told him he "needed to kill him."
A third witness, known as "W-7," told investigators Ortega-Hernandez owned an "AK-47 like gun." His "opinions and comments regarding the government and President Obama have gotten worse" over the past year, the witness told agents.
"W-7 stated that Ortega-Hernandez believed President Obama is 'the devil,' and that Ortega-Hernandez 'will not stop until it's done.'" the affidavit said. "W-7 also reported that Ortega-Hernandez stated President Obama 'needed to be taken care of.'"
Lt. Brad Shields of the Pennsylvania State Police said Ortega-Hernandez was arrested Wednesday in western Pennsylvania under a U.S. Park Police warrant issued Sunday in Washington "based on a shooting that occurred at the White House on November 11."
According to Shields, a tip came in Wednesday that the man sought by federal authorities in the Washington shooting was at a Hampton Inn in the town of Indiana, Pennsylvania.
Ortega-Hernandez had stayed at the hotel with another person for a few days before the Friday shooting incident, Shields said.
When Ortega-Hernandez returned to the hotel on Wednesday, staff members recognized him from a photo provided by authorities and notified police, Shields said.
Ortega-Hernandez was arrested without any resistance in the hotel lobby, asking why he was being detained, Shields said. A bag of his was checked by sniffer dogs, but no weapons were found, according to Shields.
The suspect apparently had returned to the hotel to locate what Shields called "his friend," and Shields said the suspect's companion was not from the area. He provided no further details of the companion's identity or whereabouts.
In Idaho Falls, Idaho, police spokeswoman Joelyn Hansen said the man -- identified there as Oscar Ramiro Ortega -- was reported missing October 31. Hansen said Ortega is the same man who the Secret Service is calling Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez.
The bullets were found on the south side of the White House, a Secret Service official not authorized to speak on the record told CNN.
"A round was stopped by ballistic glass behind the historic exterior glass," a Secret Service statement said. "One additional round has been found on the exterior of the White House. This damage has not been conclusively connected to Friday's incident, and an assessment of the exterior of the White House is ongoing,".
On Friday about 9 p.m., U.S. Park Police and the Secret Service investigated after hearing shots fired about 700 to 800 yards from the White House, the Secret Service statement said.
Within five minutes, officers located a vehicle in the 2300 block of Constitution Avenue, according to the statement.
The FBI, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, and the Metropolitan Police Department all took part in the search for Ortega-Hernandez, officials said.


Seems like a rather sadly ineffective assassination attempt. The bulletproof nature of the White House's glass is public knowledge, as is the fact that Obama isn't in it at the moment. Surely if you're going to try to kill someone, you'd at least check what country they're in at the time?
That said, I do find it kinda bizarre that merely shooting at the White House is sufficient to qualify for an Assassination charge.

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Djehutynakht
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:30 am UTC

Torchship wrote:Man shoots at White House, is charged with attempted assassination.

Unfortunately for him, Obama wasn't in the country, much less the White House at the time.

Spoiler:
Pittsburgh (CNN) -- An Idaho man who acquaintances say called President Barack Obama "the anti-Christ" was charged Thursday with trying to assassinate him in a shooting incident outside the White House, federal authorities said.
Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, 21, is accused of firing shots at the White House on Friday, including some that hit the building near the residence area where Obama and his family live, according to a complaint document made public after the suspect's initial court hearing Thursday.
One witness described to investigators hearing about "eight sounds of popping noise" and seeing "puffs of air" from a car on Constitution Avenue near the White House, an FBI agent's sworn statement said.

One bullet hit a window and was stopped by bulletproof glass, and another was found on the White House exterior, the Secret Service said.
Investigators found a semi-automatic rifle, several boxes of ammunition and nine spent shell casings in a car owned by Ortega-Hernandez that was parked several blocks away on the lawn of the National Institute of Peace, the agent's affidavit said.
White House shooter suspect in custody White House shooting suspect charged
Ortega-Hernandez was charged with attempted assassination, Assistant U.S. Attorney Jimmy Kitchen said Thursday at the suspect's initial court hearing in Pittsburgh. The charge carries a possible maximum penalty of life in prison and a $250,000 fine.
At the brief hearing, Ortega-Hernandez spoke once, answering "yes, ma'am" when Magistrate Cynthia Eddy asked if he understood what his federal defender had said on his behalf.
Eddy agreed with a prosecution request for Ortega-Hernandez to remain in custody. Ortega-Hernandez agreed to be extradited to the District of Columbia, and the federal defender, Christopher Brown, said the defendant reserved his right for a detention and preliminary hearing after the transfer.
The government agreed not to formally indict Ortega-Hernandez until after his transfer, Brown said. It was not immediately clear when the transfer would occur, but it was expected in coming days.
With long, tangled hair and a beard, Ortega-Hernandez wore a white jumpsuit and was handcuffed with legs chained when entering the courtroom guarded by U.S. marshals.
Guards removed the handcuffs for the hearing, but the leg chains remained on as he sat down.
The complaint document said that on the night of November 11, two witnesses saw shots fired toward the White House through the window of a car on Constitution Avenue. The car's Idaho plates registered to Ortega-Hernandez.
Another witness saw a man run away from the same vehicle a few blocks away, the complaint document said. From the vehicle, police recovered a rifle of the same caliber as recovered shells from the White House grounds, it said.
A law enforcement official told CNN on Thursday that a trace of the weapon did not show Ortega-Hernandez as the purchaser.
The official, who was not authorized to speak about the ongoing investigation, provided no further information on the weapon's purchase.
According to three acquaintances cited in the complaint document, Ortega-Hernandez considered Obama the cause of his problems and referred to him at times as the "anti-Christ" and the devil.
One witness -- identified only as "W-4" -- told investigators that Ortega-Hernandez "has increasingly become more agitated against the federal government, and is convinced that the federal government is conspiring against him," the FBI agent's affidavit said.
He "wanted to 'hurt' President Obama and referred to him as 'the anti-Christ,'" the witness said.
Another witness -- identified as "W-6" -- also quoted Ortega-Hernandez calling Obama "the anti-Christ." This witness told agents Ortega-Hernandez told him he "needed to kill him."
A third witness, known as "W-7," told investigators Ortega-Hernandez owned an "AK-47 like gun." His "opinions and comments regarding the government and President Obama have gotten worse" over the past year, the witness told agents.
"W-7 stated that Ortega-Hernandez believed President Obama is 'the devil,' and that Ortega-Hernandez 'will not stop until it's done.'" the affidavit said. "W-7 also reported that Ortega-Hernandez stated President Obama 'needed to be taken care of.'"
Lt. Brad Shields of the Pennsylvania State Police said Ortega-Hernandez was arrested Wednesday in western Pennsylvania under a U.S. Park Police warrant issued Sunday in Washington "based on a shooting that occurred at the White House on November 11."
According to Shields, a tip came in Wednesday that the man sought by federal authorities in the Washington shooting was at a Hampton Inn in the town of Indiana, Pennsylvania.
Ortega-Hernandez had stayed at the hotel with another person for a few days before the Friday shooting incident, Shields said.
When Ortega-Hernandez returned to the hotel on Wednesday, staff members recognized him from a photo provided by authorities and notified police, Shields said.
Ortega-Hernandez was arrested without any resistance in the hotel lobby, asking why he was being detained, Shields said. A bag of his was checked by sniffer dogs, but no weapons were found, according to Shields.
The suspect apparently had returned to the hotel to locate what Shields called "his friend," and Shields said the suspect's companion was not from the area. He provided no further details of the companion's identity or whereabouts.
In Idaho Falls, Idaho, police spokeswoman Joelyn Hansen said the man -- identified there as Oscar Ramiro Ortega -- was reported missing October 31. Hansen said Ortega is the same man who the Secret Service is calling Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez.
The bullets were found on the south side of the White House, a Secret Service official not authorized to speak on the record told CNN.
"A round was stopped by ballistic glass behind the historic exterior glass," a Secret Service statement said. "One additional round has been found on the exterior of the White House. This damage has not been conclusively connected to Friday's incident, and an assessment of the exterior of the White House is ongoing,".
On Friday about 9 p.m., U.S. Park Police and the Secret Service investigated after hearing shots fired about 700 to 800 yards from the White House, the Secret Service statement said.
Within five minutes, officers located a vehicle in the 2300 block of Constitution Avenue, according to the statement.
The FBI, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, and the Metropolitan Police Department all took part in the search for Ortega-Hernandez, officials said.


Seems like a rather sadly ineffective assassination attempt. The bulletproof nature of the White House's glass is public knowledge, as is the fact that Obama isn't in it at the moment. Surely if you're going to try to kill someone, you'd at least check what country they're in at the time?
That said, I do find it kinda bizarre that merely shooting at the White House is sufficient to qualify for an Assassination charge.




Well, you know, he could be that stupid. I see no other reason to shoot at the White House, unless he was just trying to mess with people, which is probably probable.


Also, they could be trying to charge him with attempting assasination of someone else than Obama (someone important must be there, after all).

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Shivahn
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Shivahn » Sat Nov 19, 2011 2:15 pm UTC

Just because he's exceedingly inept doesn't make it not attempted assassination.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:02 pm UTC

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What would Baron Harkonnen do?


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