In other news... (humorous news items)

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Xeio
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xeio » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:05 pm UTC

pseudoidiot wrote:Damn. I'd totally support Pope Biden.
Only if all the public speaking he does in in debate format. :mrgreen:

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ahammel » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:10 pm UTC

"Now, I have tremendous respect for my opponent. He's a fine diety, but frankly..."
He/Him/His/Alex
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:12 pm UTC

"... He hasn't shown up for a candidate's debate in over two thousand years. Is that omniscience you can trust?"

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:23 pm UTC

But according to John Huntsman, he showed up to debate about 150 years ago!

Also that Native Americans are the real Jews.
Last edited by CorruptUser on Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:02 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:26 pm UTC

Rom-who?

Seriously, if we stop talking about him, he'll go away.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:05 pm UTC

fix'd for ya

Speaking of which, it's such a shame they never made any Star Trek TNG movies.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Роберт » Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:16 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:But according to John Huntsman, he showed up to debate about 150 years ago!

Also that Native Americans are the real Jews.

Who is John Huntsman?
Last edited by Роберт on Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:15 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ahammel » Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:34 pm UTC

He is the man who cannot be spelled correctly.
He/Him/His/Alex
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:45 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Rom-who?

Seriously, if we stop talking about him, he'll go away.


Spoiler:
Image
Image
What would Baron Harkonnen do?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:07 pm UTC



This makes me so sad. I imagine that's being challenged on legal grounds, though.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby emceng » Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:13 pm UTC

yurell wrote:


This makes me so sad. I imagine that's being challenged on legal grounds, though.


Well yeah, but it was just some dipshit introducing a law. Hasn't been voted on or anything yet. I prefer to try and be optimistic that Missouri isn't completely overrun with the less mentally fortunate.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:45 am UTC

emceng wrote:
yurell wrote:


This makes me so sad. I imagine that's being challenged on legal grounds, though.


Well yeah, but it was just some dipshit introducing a law. Hasn't been voted on or anything yet. I prefer to try and be optimistic that Missouri isn't completely overrun with the less mentally fortunate.


Science (from Latin scientia, meaning "knowledge") is a systematic enterprise that builds and organizes knowledge in the form of testable explanations and predictions about the universe.[1]

That is what wiki says.
Twenty-five words.
To spend a lifetime on one thing that is only twenty-five words long looks, kind of, stupid.

There is nothing wrong with a fairy tail or two.
Who has never said, "Now; with a fair wind, the Graces of The Gods and a prayer on our lips, we will flip the switch and see if it works."

What do you say? Keep Notes! Label everything!
What color is Ground?!
Why do you people have five wires?

Let the people descend into ignorance. Knowing shit is a lot of bother. And; For What?
What practical use is knowing shit to people in Missouri?
Those people don't use science knowledge directly.
What do they need to know? What do they want to know?

As the individuals develop each one will ask questions.
There are still a few books.
The internet is very nice, now.
Wiki can change very quickly.

It is a non issue. Yet, Some dipshit is being paid to come up with 600 words to waste time on.
We are all wasting time. That guy is getting paid to do it.

I wrote him a note.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Max™ » Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:57 pm UTC

'If biological intelligent design is taught, any proposed identity of the intelligence responsible for earth's biology shall be verifiable by present-day observation or experimentation and teachers shall not question, survey, or otherwise influence student belief in a nonverifiable identity within a science course.'

Image

Thordammit Missouri, look how sad you made him, and he was such a nice Doctor too... cut that shit out.
mu

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:01 pm UTC

Anything that includes 'faith-based philosophy' in the description is not going to be science (unless it was some sort of investigation into the phenomenon of faith-based philosophy'.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Max™ » Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:19 pm UTC

I can't figure out that last part... isn't that saying you can't specify a deity and teachers can't question one or influence either way... but if you do you need proof?

Wat?

I mean, they actually kinda got that part right, given how science is simply the way we distinguish what is knowledge from that which is not.
mu

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Chen » Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:54 pm UTC

Max™ wrote:I can't figure out that last part... isn't that saying you can't specify a deity and teachers can't question one or influence either way... but if you do you need proof?

Wat?

I mean, they actually kinda got that part right, given how science is simply the way we distinguish what is knowledge from that which is not.


Yeah that's how I read that last part too. Which really makes the whole thing make even less sense.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby K-R » Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:01 pm UTC

Well, if they start mentioning the Christian God specifically, there's a risk they might have to teach other religions' creation myths, and that would just be absurd. Best just not to deny that it might be the Christian God, because that's what the kids are going to be told by their parents anyway.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Izawwlgood » Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:05 pm UTC

Max™ wrote:I can't figure out that last part... isn't that saying you can't specify a deity and teachers can't question one or influence either way... but if you do you need proof?

Wat?

I mean, they actually kinda got that part right, given how science is simply the way we distinguish what is knowledge from that which is not.

Yeah, I thought that part was kind of hilariously shortsighted of them as well. And science teacher worth their salt will just start throwing all kinds of creation myths into the mix.

"Well kids, since the fine state we reside in feels the need to fill your head with idiocy and hamper your future likelihood of ever entering the STEM fields, I have no choice but to talk to you about various other creation hypotheses. So lets begin; some feel it's a turtle on elephants, some feel their God said so, some feel Quaquid and Neemorak where wrestling in the cosmos, some feel a great bird laid an egg in the sun, some feel Zeus murdered his father Chronos, some feel..."
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:31 pm UTC

Turtle on elephants? It's clearly on four elephants on top if a giant sea turtle! Burn for your sins heretic!

Also I feel that you should include the theory that we are actually in the matrix.
Last edited by CorruptUser on Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:35 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Izawwlgood » Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:32 pm UTC

You haven't accepted the righteous virtue of the flippolder into your heart. You haven't been juxtoposed by his/her majesty.
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Max™ » Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:07 pm UTC

All I know is, one of those folk promised an end to jerks... but Odin promised an end to Frost Giants, and I've never seen a Frost Giant.

As for the simulation argument, here's something completely different!
Image
mu

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:44 pm UTC

Bigfoot genome sequenced!

Note: May or may not contain Bigfoot. Probably does not contain science. If you think you have encountered science, drink some whiskey and try again. If symptoms persist, report to your nearest health care professional or biology expert.Qualifications required for journal, please contact your nearest con artist for details. Offer not valid in Nebraska or Quebec. Sasquatch not available in Saskatchewan or on Saturdays. Genomes are known to the state of California to cause cancer. All results should be taken with large doses of salt; large doses of salt may cause health issues.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby DSenette » Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:53 pm UTC

PhoenixEnigma wrote:Bigfoot genome sequenced!

Note: May or may not contain Bigfoot. Probably does not contain science. If you think you have encountered science, drink some whiskey and try again. If symptoms persist, report to your nearest health care professional or biology expert.Qualifications required for journal, please contact your nearest con artist for details. Offer not valid in Nebraska or Quebec. Sasquatch not available in Saskatchewan or on Saturdays. Genomes are known to the state of California to cause cancer. All results should be taken with large doses of salt; large doses of salt may cause health issues.

they probably meant that they saw a bigfoot at the end of a video titled "The Gnome Sequence", but because of the abject stupidity required to believe in big foot they don't know the G is silent....so they said "heck fahr! look at tha bigfoot at the end of that thar Gee-nome sequence!"
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:25 pm UTC

DSenette wrote:
PhoenixEnigma wrote:Bigfoot genome sequenced!

Note: May or may not contain Bigfoot. Probably does not contain science. If you think you have encountered science, drink some whiskey and try again. If symptoms persist, report to your nearest health care professional or biology expert.Qualifications required for journal, please contact your nearest con artist for details. Offer not valid in Nebraska or Quebec. Sasquatch not available in Saskatchewan or on Saturdays. Genomes are known to the state of California to cause cancer. All results should be taken with large doses of salt; large doses of salt may cause health issues.

they probably meant that they saw a bigfoot at the end of a video titled "The Gnome Sequence", but because of the abject stupidity required to believe in big foot they don't know the G is silent....so they said "heck fahr! look at tha bigfoot at the end of that thar Gee-nome sequence!"


Sure. Laugh if you want. Bigfoot was a possibility when I was young enough to get lost in the back yard.
Big Foot? Bear? Either way it is better to not mess with them.

That's what dogs are for. Dogs make all the enemies a man needs long before the man has a chance to talk to anyone about his preferences.

What child has not gone in search of imaginary creatures?
Not many come back without the dogs.

The North American Panther does not like dogs.
https://www.google.com/search?q=north+a ... 80&bih=626

That is an animal that is real. Its natural prey is the size and shape of a human, sort of.
From what I understand. A healthy fear of Bigfoot has saved the lives of many a Tourist.
Tourists don't believe in Lions. But, they do believe in Bigfoot. Go figure.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:53 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:You haven't accepted the righteous virtue of the flippolder into your heart. You haven't been juxtoposed by his/her majesty.


Lies! We all know that A'Tuin is real!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Diadem » Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:02 pm UTC

PhoenixEnigma wrote:Bigfoot genome sequenced!

Note: May or may not contain Bigfoot. Probably does not contain science. If you think you have encountered science, drink some whiskey and try again. If symptoms persist, report to your nearest health care professional or biology expert.Qualifications required for journal, please contact your nearest con artist for details. Offer not valid in Nebraska or Quebec. Sasquatch not available in Saskatchewan or on Saturdays. Genomes are known to the state of California to cause cancer. All results should be taken with large doses of salt; large doses of salt may cause health issues.

+4 Awesome, would read again.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Grishnakh » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:19 am UTC

Not funny news:

Oscar Pistorius (the guy who competed in the Olympics with prosthetic legs) allegedly shot and killed his girlfriend in the early hours of Valentine's Day.
Initial reports said he mistook her for a burglar, but later reports said that the neighbours heard fighting long before the shooting. Apparently he has a bit of a history with domestic abuse as well.

Spoilered for being in bad taste and "too soon":
Spoiler:
And the Oscar goes to: Bullet for my Valentine



edit: added "allegedly", since nothing's proved yet

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:02 pm UTC

From now on, I'm imagining the legless Gein from Texas Chainsaw Massacre as having prosthetic blade legs. 'Yer already dead! You just don't know it yet!'

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Jofur » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:08 pm UTC

Grishnakh wrote:Spoilered for being in bad taste and "too soon":
Spoiler:
And the Oscar goes to: Bullet for my Valentine



Ha!

On another note, I wouldn't give them any kind of award.
Everybody is doing it and nobody knows why.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby emceng » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:27 pm UTC

Traditional Prom

I'm supportive of gay rights, but this seems like it's mistargeting the the high school. 1) doesn't employ the teacher that said the idiotic things, and 2) had nothing to do with the "traditional" prom event that's being planned. I mean yeah, it seems like people are bigotted, but targeting the high school doesn't make any sense.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:48 pm UTC

While we are at it, Alabama should also have traditional proms where black people aren't allowed in. Any black person with a white girlfriend is either castrated or lynched. White guys can have black girlfriends, so long as they are mistresses and they never marry.

Oh, and all the white guys rape a black girl as a rite of passage.



I'm trying to say that some traditions are better left uncontinued, if you didn't guess.
Last edited by CorruptUser on Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:01 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Adam H » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:53 pm UTC

Some people in Alabama absolutely have private gatherings where black people aren't invited.
-Adam

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby KrytenKoro » Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:23 pm UTC

Adam H wrote:Some people in Alabama absolutely have private gatherings where black people aren't invited.

And sometimes, where they are invited.

They just really, really didn't want to be.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Chen » Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:01 pm UTC

emceng wrote:Traditional Prom

I'm supportive of gay rights, but this seems like it's mistargeting the the high school. 1) doesn't employ the teacher that said the idiotic things, and 2) had nothing to do with the "traditional" prom event that's being planned. I mean yeah, it seems like people are bigotted, but targeting the high school doesn't make any sense.


I think its more people not realizing the high school isn't doing anything with this. Its only halfway through the article where it mentions the teacher sponsoring this isn't even from that school district.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby DSenette » Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:45 pm UTC

it's probably MOST people not realizing that it's not the school specifically trying to do the "traditional prom" thing...but i bet some of it is also the school not publicly calling the woman an idiot and standing up against other idiots like her directly.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:10 pm UTC

emceng wrote:Traditional Prom

I'm supportive of gay rights, but this seems like it's mistargeting the the high school. 1) doesn't employ the teacher that said the idiotic things, and 2) had nothing to do with the "traditional" prom event that's being planned. I mean yeah, it seems like people are bigotted, but targeting the high school doesn't make any sense.


What did the teacher even say that was so idiotic? The best quote from her they could find for the article was apparently "I don't ... understand it". So, she doesn't understand gay relationships? Why is that reason to fire her? I don't understand it.

KrytenKoro wrote:
Adam H wrote:Some people in Alabama absolutely have private gatherings where black people aren't invited.

And sometimes, where they are invited.

They just really, really didn't want to be.

I laughed more than I should have at this. :P
Image

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Ashlah » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:13 pm UTC

It's not in that article, but she said that gay people have no purpose in life.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:35 pm UTC

Ashlah wrote:It's not in that article, but she said that gay people have no purpose in life.


ech. Some don't. Some (cis?) people don't have a purpose.
Going to the Prom is not much of a purpose.

Poor Teachers go every year. Year in and year out.
This will be remembered as the year, Everyone was Gay.

It worked out for some. Not for others.
Just like every other year.

Funny? From a distance.
What the Hell is the purpose of the Prom?
I forget.Maybe, I never knew.
I don't mind humoring others.

Prom is a fancy dinner, a fancy dress and for those not in a committed sexual relationship a chance to get laid. Right?

That whole getting laid thing is funny. Parents are 'On' it.
Some parents go to the Prom. The parents get laid and the children are embarrassed.
Some years are more of a mess than other years.

Who cares who you sleep with?
The photographer wants two bodies in each photo.
That is the way it works. Some people make a big show of going alone.

People! They are at their best at the Prom.
If you don't like them a the Prom, you may not want to marry them.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Ashlah » Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:48 am UTC

I am always entirely baffled by your posts...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Wnderer » Sat Feb 16, 2013 1:16 am UTC

Ashlah wrote:I am always entirely baffled by your posts...

addams is our resident beatnik poet.


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