In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:35 am UTC

They should have called it Windows X.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Deva » Wed Oct 01, 2014 2:32 am UTC

Windows X.png
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Windows X.png (27.67 KiB) Viewed 9612 times


Releases Windows Y concurrently. Compress wild files at low hitpoints. Defeat your rival, Steve.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:32 am UTC

eSOANEM wrote:Microsoft have obviously cottoned on to the alternating good and bad OSes. This is clearly a sign that this OS sucks and they've skipped a number to try and warn people :p

That could be I suppose, but (whispering in Microsoft's ear while casually making a hand motion), "Skipping numbers isn't the solution you're looking for."
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tyndmyr » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:32 pm UTC

MS CEO: "Jenkins, people are complaining about Windows. Why? How dare they?"
Butler: "Well, because it sucks, sir. Also, my name isn't Jenkins."
MS CEO: "Sucks? How on earth could anything we make do that?"
Butler: "It's every other version, sir. ME sucked. 8 sucked. The one two versions from now will probably suck too"
MS CEO: "Well, I've got just the solution for that, Jenkins. We'll SKIP the next version. Aha!"
Butler: "That's...going to be the good one, sir. What problem could that possibly solve?"
MS CEO: "Only the greatest problem we've ever faced, Jenkins. Joy."

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:39 pm UTC

That doesn't make any sense though.

Obviously we should have kept windows 9 then skipped straight ahead to 11. Otherwise we're skipping to the next bad one.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xenomortis » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:43 pm UTC

Yes... that was the joke.

It's all moot anyway, since it's obviously prime numbered versions that are the good ones.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:44 pm UTC

Yep, Angua's spotted the one flaw in the logic.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:48 pm UTC

Thesh wrote:They should have called it Windows Xtreme


fix'd for how I keep reading it. In the trailer presenter voice associated with:
Spoiler:
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xeio » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:52 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:Microsoft have unveiled the next version of Windows. Called... Windows 10. Huh. Is 9 an unlucky number or something?

This is pretty hilarious.

Could be fun, pretending all that java code is running on windows 95/98.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby speising » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:05 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
Mutex wrote:Microsoft have unveiled the next version of Windows. Called... Windows 10. Huh. Is 9 an unlucky number or something?

This is pretty hilarious.

Could be fun, pretending all that java code is running on windows 95/98.

ha. i wonder who came up with this, given that there's a perfectly cromulent "os.version" number.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:07 pm UTC

Wow.

That could have been avoided by MS using a consistent naming convention to be fair. But yeah, sloppy coding.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xenomortis » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:08 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
Mutex wrote:Microsoft have unveiled the next version of Windows. Called... Windows 10. Huh. Is 9 an unlucky number or something?

This is pretty hilarious.

Could be fun, pretending all that java code is running on windows 95/98.

Humour aside, I understand that if you asked for the OS version in 95 (Windows 4), it returned 3.95 (3 being the Major Version). Why?
Because so many programs couldn't handle 4.0 being returned as the version number.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:14 pm UTC

Xenomortis wrote:
Xeio wrote:
Mutex wrote:Microsoft have unveiled the next version of Windows. Called... Windows 10. Huh. Is 9 an unlucky number or something?

This is pretty hilarious.

Could be fun, pretending all that java code is running on windows 95/98.

Humour aside, I understand that if you asked for the OS version in 95 (Windows 4), it returned 3.95 (3 being the Major Version). Why?
Because so many programs couldn't handle 4.0 being returned as the version number.


Was it the .0 that caused the issue? If so, why not return 4?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xenomortis » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:19 pm UTC

People would check the major and minor versions separately, so yes; the .0 was the problem.

Code: Select all

if ( major_version < 3 || minor_version < 10 ) {
    fail( "Requires Windows 3.1" );
}

Apparently concatenating the version numbers was too hard...

Edit:
http://blogs.msdn.com/b/oldnewthing/arc ... 72476.aspx
The code sample given suggests Windows actually returned a single int to begin with, which means the programmer went to extra effort to fuck it up!

Edit2:
Having actually tried this on Win7, running a scratch program in Windows 95 compatibility mode, the version actually does appear to be 4.0, not 3.95.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby phlip » Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:38 am UTC

The version number issue is also why Vista had so many driver problems at launch (the driver interface doesn't get the back-compatibility focus that the rest of Windows gets, so drivers would require "majorversion == 5" not "majorversion >= 5"), and why Win7 is internally 6.1, Win8 is internally 6.2... Skipping a number in the branding name for the OS is just going to make this difference even larger...

Honestly, my guess is that they renamed Windows 9 to Windows 8.1, and no-one told the Windows 10 team... or for some reason the name Windows 10 was already locked in...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:37 am UTC

Angua wrote:
Tyndmyr wrote:MS CEO: "Jenkins, people are complaining about Windows. Why? How dare they?"
Butler: "Well, because it sucks, sir. Also, my name isn't Jenkins."
MS CEO: "Sucks? How on earth could anything we make do that?"
Butler: "It's every other version, sir. ME sucked. 8 sucked. The one two versions from now will probably suck too"
MS CEO: "Well, I've got just the solution for that, Jenkins. We'll SKIP the next version. Aha!"
Butler: "That's...going to be the good one, sir. What problem could that possibly solve?"
MS CEO: "Only the greatest problem we've ever faced, Jenkins. Joy."

That doesn't make any sense though.

Obviously we should have kept windows 9 then skipped straight ahead to 11. Otherwise we're skipping to the next bad one.


What that is, is absolutely hilarious. Wouldn't that be just like MS, to solve the problem of every other version number being bad...by switching to counting by twos...from bad version number to bad version number? Talk about a "face-palm."
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:51 am UTC

Xenomortis wrote:
Edit:
http://blogs.msdn.com/b/oldnewthing/arc ... 72476.aspx
The code sample given suggests Windows actually returned a single int to begin with, which means the programmer went to extra effort to fuck it up!

That's funny.
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Leave your mark on the digital world.

When that little programer is an old programer,
He can sit by the lake, knowing 3.95 is really 4.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby KnightExemplar » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:37 am UTC

Q: Why did Microsoft name it Windows 10?
A: Because 7 ate 9.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Grop » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:19 am UTC

KnightExemplar wrote:Q: Why did Microsoft name it Windows 10?
A: Because 7 ate 9.


Most plausible reason so far.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Chen » Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:57 am UTC

I'm suspecting they didn't want people confusing Windows 9 with the old 95/98 ones. Not even necessarily a coding/software version number level but just in general.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:34 pm UTC

Xenomortis wrote:People would check the major and minor versions separately, so yes; the .0 was the problem.

Code: Select all

if ( major_version < 3 || minor_version < 10 ) {
    fail( "Requires Windows 3.1" );
}

Apparently concatenating the version numbers was too hard...

Edit:
http://blogs.msdn.com/b/oldnewthing/arc ... 72476.aspx
The code sample given suggests Windows actually returned a single int to begin with, which means the programmer went to extra effort to fuck it up!

Edit2:
Having actually tried this on Win7, running a scratch program in Windows 95 compatibility mode, the version actually does appear to be 4.0, not 3.95.


Actually, I don't think so. It was returning a 3-part field (version/revision/release, 1 byte each) in DOS 2.0...which is nearly as far back as DOS goes. Probably there was no version at all in 1.0.

The test can be written hierarchically, rather than concatenating the fields:

Code: Select all

if ( major_version < 3 || (major_version == 3 && minor_version < 10) ) {
    fail( "Requires Windows 3.1" );
}


But yes, concatenation would work as well. It would be hard, though, in 8088; you'd basically be forced back to the hierarchical test.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xenomortis » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:38 pm UTC

Coyne wrote:Actually, I don't think so. It was returning a 3-part field (version/revision/release, 1 byte each) in DOS 2.0...which is nearly as far back as DOS goes. Probably there was no version at all in 1.0.

Having actually tried using it:
The basic version info is returned in the low word of the result from GetVersion().
The high byte contains the minor version, the low byte contains the major version.
It's a shame it's that way around actually; since then you could just use the entire low word for the comparison (endianness reasons?).
The high word contains the build number and some other information.

I don't know about DOS.

Coyne wrote:It would be hard, though, in 8088; you'd basically be forced back to the hierarchical test.

Code: Select all

WORD ver = GetVersion(); //whatever it was in DOS 2
WORD adjustedVer = (ver & 0xFF) << 8 + (ver >> 8);

Why is that hard to write in 8088 assembly? You're only really swapping bytes; you could just rotate (unless the "ror/rol" instructions weren't part of the instruction set) the word by 8 bits.
A hierarchical test still requires similar byte extraction (could the 8088 work more easily at the individual byte level than more modern x86s?).

But it doesn't really how you test versions, so long as you get it right.
Evidently, lots of people haven't.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PolakoVoador » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:06 pm UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby jestingrabbit » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:01 am UTC



So, some guys sit around and discuss the definition, and that changes the definition? No, it doesn't. Still not a planet, any more than Ceres is

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceres_%28dwarf_planet%29

When Ceres rejoins the list of planets, you can have Pluto back.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:13 am UTC

Is anyone else baffled by why anyone would care if Pluto is technically defined as a planet, or is it just me? Whatever you call it, it's a small piece of rock a billion km away.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Oct 03, 2014 2:58 am UTC

Mutex wrote:Is anyone else baffled by why anyone would care if Pluto is technically defined as a planet, or is it just me? Whatever you call it, it's a small piece of rock a billion km away.

It's a Wonderful Question.
The University Departments you might want to visit are Psychology and Marketing.

Those are two closely related fields.
They overlap on the Venn Diagram.

What part of human Psychology lights the sentence, "Poor Pluto. Those Meanies took his Citizenship and his Rights as a Planet." ?
Who told people they cared? Who the fuck cares, what fifth graders call an imaginary place in the Night Sky?

"Pluto is being demoted."
Where did you hear it?

Why did you care?
Me? TV News and deGrasse Tyson on PBS.

What was being sold to us?
Was the item being sold important or was the item we were being distracted from important?

We are getting a great many messages thrown at us.
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Children and Emotionally Exhausted Adults become interested in matters far away, when matters close at hand are....less than optimal.

I have no idea why people would care, much.
The whole thing about Uranus being outside Pluto's orbit and that funny little dance they do.
That shit I, sort of, cared about. I never have been sure how they figured it out. Maybe, Math.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:27 am UTC

Xenomortis wrote:
Coyne wrote:It would be hard, though, in 8088; you'd basically be forced back to the hierarchical test.

Code: Select all

WORD ver = GetVersion(); //whatever it was in DOS 2
WORD adjustedVer = (ver & 0xFF) << 8 + (ver >> 8);

Why is that hard to write in 8088 assembly? You're only really swapping bytes; you could just rotate (unless the "ror/rol" instructions weren't part of the instruction set) the word by 8 bits.
A hierarchical test still requires similar byte extraction (could the 8088 work more easily at the individual byte level than more modern x86s?).

But it doesn't really how you test versions, so long as you get it right.
Evidently, lots of people haven't.

I was talking about a concatenation. The 8088 that was around when this service first came out had 1-byte registers and few 2-register operations. There were no two-register compares or shifts (and the shifts that did exist were 1-bit only). This actually shows in the INT 21H 30H design, because if they'd been thinking ahead to DCMP they would surely have loaded major version to AH instead of AL, flipped them.

The 8088 instruction set was really limited.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:30 pm UTC

To all the good people of xkcd, I bring you:

Tetris
the movie.


Apparently, an epic scifi tale.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby jestingrabbit » Fri Oct 03, 2014 2:35 pm UTC

Weird how much they want to compare it to the lego movie. Lego is all about imagination and play and stories and stuff like that. Tetris is not. Correct comparison: that battleship mess from a few years ago.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri Oct 03, 2014 2:41 pm UTC

Yeah, I was thinking that too. This is more akin to battleship in many ways (Battleship also has no humans in the game, it was also made to be a scifi film). But, Lego was popular so we have to compare all things that are in any way game related to that :P
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Oct 03, 2014 2:46 pm UTC

Lego also isn't a game, it's a toy.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby WilliamLehnsherr » Fri Oct 03, 2014 2:55 pm UTC

The only kind of film that could be made from Tetris is a porn film. People in body paint fucking each other in all kinds of crazy angels... Then having parts of their body disappear when they all stand in a line...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby LaserGuy » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:00 pm UTC

Well, Tetris has no story and no characters, so it's a pretty blank slate as far as the script is concerned. Just ignore the part about trying to fit together blocks falling from the sky and you'll be fine.

What I don't understand is, if studios want to make movies based on video games (generally a bad idea), why not pick games that actually have good plots and characters to work with? This seems like someone read a list of bestselling video games and said "Look! Tetris is the #1 selling game of all time with over 100 million copies sold! We need to make a movie of that" without ever having played the game.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby mousewiz » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:16 pm UTC

At first I was a little excited (because I liked Battleship, in its own stupid way... plus this one has the Mortal Kombat pedigree, which is my favourite adaptation). But then I thought for a moment and decided that:
1) Computers are better at Tetris than people.
2) The best humans are so good/fast that watching anything but the queue is pointless (the stack can be invisible, and the blocks are placed before you begin to see them fall), and the queue moves so fast that nobody who doesn't play way too much Tetris can follow it anyways.

So I question how much block stacking could actually play a role in the Tetris movie without making movie goers ponder why the block stacker is soooo bad at their job.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby freezeblade » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:19 pm UTC

You mean something like this?
History of the Soviet Union via Tetris
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:26 pm UTC

WilliamLehnsherr wrote:The only kind of film that could be made from Tetris is a porn film. People in body paint fucking each other in all kinds of crazy angels... Then having parts of their body disappear when they all stand in a line...

That might be, sort of, good.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Fri Oct 03, 2014 5:08 pm UTC

I remember when the craze for making movies about games started a few years ago, a comedian and columnist came up with the idea of a Tetris movie as a joke, taking the idea to extremes. It seems the movie industry is actually beyond parody now.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby speising » Fri Oct 03, 2014 5:22 pm UTC

http://youtu.be/AhwGEa7507g

i thought this was a joke.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Fri Oct 03, 2014 5:50 pm UTC

That gasted my flabber.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Xenomortis » Fri Oct 03, 2014 6:54 pm UTC

freezeblade wrote:You mean something like this?
History of the Soviet Union via Tetris

That is truly amazing.
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