In other news... (humorous news items)

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elasto
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby elasto » Wed Jul 15, 2015 12:49 am UTC

Klingon was the chosen language for the Welsh government in its response to queries about UFO sightings at Cardiff Airport. While English and Welsh are the usual forms of communications in the Senedd, it opted for the native tongue of the enemies of Star Trek's Captain Kirk.

Shadow Health Minister Darren Millar had asked for details of UFOs sightings and asked if research would be funded.

A Welsh government spokesman responded with: "jang vIDa je due luq. 'ach ghotvam'e' QI'yaH devolve qaS."

In full it said it translated as: "The minister will reply in due course. However this is a non-devolved matter."

It is believed to be the first time the Welsh government has chosen to communicate in Klingon.

Mr Millar, shadow health minister and AM for Clwyd West, submitted three questions to economy, science and transport minister Edwina Hart about UFO reports around the airport and across the rest of Wales.

Responding to the government's unusual diversion into trilingualism, Mr Millar said: "I've always suspected that Labour ministers came from another planet. This response confirms it."


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Fri Jul 17, 2015 3:57 pm UTC

Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:12 pm UTC


oh, That's good!
Funny stuff!

Fucking Nature is amazing in what trouble she can be.
Poor man...He got a story worth 300 pound from this.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PolakoVoador » Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:16 pm UTC

Shadow Minister? Shadow Cabinet? The UK just won lots of points with me for using awesome names for dull official stuff.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Quercus » Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:41 pm UTC

Those aren't the only ones:

Chancellor of the Exchequer => finance minister

Chief whip => appointed by each party to organise their MPs and try to ensure they vote according to the party line. They are also responsible for arranging the day to day running of parliament, in which capacity they are officially referred to as "the usual channels"

The Lords Spiritual and Temporal => members of the House of Lords

Black Rod (which emcompasses the roles of Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod and Secretary to the Lord Great Chamberlain) => responsible for security, fire safety and ceremonial events in the House of Lords

Serjeant at Arms => basically the House of Commons equivalent of Black Rod

Edit: It occurs to me that "Serjeant at Arms vs. Black Rod" would be a great title for a superhero showdown, and also be politically apt since the Serjeant at Arms does slam the door in Black Rod's face at every state opening of Parliament, to symbolically demonstrate the House of Commons' political independence from the Sovereign.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Sat Jul 18, 2015 1:01 am UTC

The US also has Whips and Sergeants at Arms.

I think perhaps the most colorful US government title that I've heard so far however is "Czar".

I find it so random that we decided to adopt that as an, albeit informal, government title.

Some of the Czar titles at the moment include:

-AIDS Czar
-Asian Carp Czar
-Democracy Czar (seems contradictory, no?)
-Drug Czar
And many others.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ahammel » Sat Jul 18, 2015 2:45 am UTC

What, exactly, are the duties of a Czar in the US?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Sat Jul 18, 2015 3:08 am UTC

ahammel wrote:What, exactly, are the duties of a Czar in the US?


A so-called "czar" in our country is an administration officer in charge of a particular area of responsibility. For example, our "drug czar," which was the first use of this word in an informal title, was officially "Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy." (The position used to be Cabinet level but is now defunct.)

The term for that office was first used by then-Senator (now Vice-President) Joe Biden and, frankly, I think it was intended to be pejorative, but I'm not sure.

Certainly it is used pejoratively now. If the Republicans don't like an office that President Obama proposes to create, then the head of that office is immediately designated a "czar". Such titles of honor as czar, king, duke, and such, are not permitted to be recognized by the government here (Constitutional prohibition) and so the implication is that the officer is being given an improper level of authority; an abusive level of authority. There is also an implication of Communism or socialism, since most people here in the USA only know czars as former heads of the Russian state. So the term is principally assigned as a political statement.

Quercus wrote:Edit: It occurs to me that "Serjeant at Arms vs. Black Rod" would be a great title for a superhero showdown, and also be politically apt since the Serjeant at Arms does slam the door in Black Rod's face at every state opening of Parliament, to symbolically demonstrate the House of Commons' political independence from the Sovereign.


Movie hero (think about it): Serjeant Black Rod
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby eSOANEM » Sat Jul 18, 2015 2:10 pm UTC

We have Tsars like that here too. I think the term was first used by the press but it has been used officially here before I think.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby morriswalters » Wed Jul 22, 2015 7:00 pm UTC

Never give your phone number to the Donald.
Senator Lindsey Graham on how to properly break your phone

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Wed Jul 22, 2015 8:00 pm UTC

morriswalters wrote:Never give your phone number to the Donald.
Senator Lindsey Graham on how to properly break your phone



That was a pretty awesome response, honestly.

I don't think I align very well with quite a few of Lindsey Graham's positions, but I like him.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:27 am UTC

Compression; Yes.
Fire? He's too dumb to be Presiden.....never mind.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Sun Jul 26, 2015 4:20 pm UTC

Denmark bans Kosher and Halal practises.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world ... 35580.html

Al Jazeera quoted the monitoring group Danish Halal, which launched a petition against the ban, as saying it was “a clear interference in religious freedom limiting the rights of Muslims and Jews to practice their religion in Denmark”.


They seem genuinely shocked at the idea they don't get to do whatever they please and get away with it because it's religious.

Of course religious freedom isn't 100%. The line is drawn when it harms others. Denmark decided animals count as "others".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Jul 26, 2015 5:46 pm UTC

It's outrageous, I tell you. Next thing you know, they'll be arresting people for sacrificing goats to the full moon.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:00 pm UTC

The last time Denmark banned Kosher food, it was because Godwin's. Sorry, "animal rights" has been the most transparently bullshit argument used to persecute Jews.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bentheimmigrant » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:04 pm UTC

I like how they went for the "but you do worse things" argument, and chose killing a giraffe to be fed to lions. Apparently there's something immoral about feeding lions I guess.

CorruptUser wrote:The last time Denmark banned Kosher food, it was because Godwin's. Sorry, "animal rights" has been the most transparently bullshit argument used to persecute Jews.

1) No, there have been much more tenuous and downright false pretenses used for the persecution of Jews.
2) Not being allowed to slice open a live, conscious animal's throat and watch it bleed to death is not persecution.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby speising » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:21 pm UTC

A god that demands cruelty against or mutilation of animals (or kids) should not be worshipped.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:42 pm UTC

You do realize that cuts with a very sharp knife don't hurt very much, and if done right the animal passes out in seconds?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Quercus » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:56 pm UTC

This is one of those issues where I would have to see actual primary research evidence on the levels of pain and distress experienced by animals slaughtered by Kosher, Halal and conventional methods before coming to a conclusion. The relative levels of suffering are not intuitively obvious to me, and it's such a divisive issue that one can't trust any media portrayals to be unbiased.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Grop » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:58 pm UTC

I haven't studied that topic seriously, but some Muslims I know think that the animals that are slaughtered by halal butchers are better treated than most animals are generally treated by non-halal meat industry.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:00 pm UTC

It's actually true in some sense. Have you SEEN conventional slaughterhouses, at least in the US? If THAT is legal, STFU about Kosher and Halal.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby speising » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:11 pm UTC

But that's incidental. You can treat animals humane or cruel, independently of how you kill them in the end.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:37 pm UTC

Grop wrote:I haven't studied that topic seriously, but some Muslims I know think that the animals that are slaughtered by halal butchers are better treated than most animals are generally treated by non-halal meat industry.


So? Not to come across all childish, but they would say that. It's pretty clear to me that instant death via bolt to the head, where the bolt travels faster than pain signals can travel down nerves, must be less painful than opening an animal's throat while it's still conscious.

I believe most halal/kosher slaughterhouses actually do stun the animals before killing them, but it's not a legal requirement in many places.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Grop » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:47 pm UTC

I don't want to argue on that as this is only hearsay, it just sounded very plausible to me.

But if that was just a matter of stunning the animal, then why not require that instead of banning the whole halal/kosher thing?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:52 pm UTC

Personally, I'd be perfectly fine with that.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bentheimmigrant » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:53 pm UTC

I don't think they have actually banned it. They've required stunning, and some Halal and Kosher practices are so strict that they require a conscious animal. I don't believe that actually covers all of such slaughtering methods. The end result is some Halal and Kosher practices are banned (because they don't stun).
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Jul 26, 2015 9:14 pm UTC

If the ban is acceptable to the OU, but not the various Chassidic groups, I'm perfectly fine with that. The Satmars and Rabashkins have their heads firmly lodged up their collective anuses, and refuse to accept that the others is kosher. Same with all the other Chassidic sects. 60 years ago, there were no levels of kosher; it was kosher or it wasn't, end of story. But then practically every Chassidic rabbi wanted to make sure that their nephew got some business at huge markups, so only some asinine set of rules that only that nephew followed would be accepted by the community...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tyndmyr » Mon Jul 27, 2015 2:22 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:This is one of those issues where I would have to see actual primary research evidence on the levels of pain and distress experienced by animals slaughtered by Kosher, Halal and conventional methods before coming to a conclusion. The relative levels of suffering are not intuitively obvious to me, and it's such a divisive issue that one can't trust any media portrayals to be unbiased.


I've been cut by a sharp knife before. Not "and bled out to death", but a cut isn't necessarily terribly horrific. I'd take one over, say, a good burn any day.

Bolt to the head is pretty painless, for sure. I suppose the question is if the difference is enough to constitute cruelty. If it is(which doesn't seem THAT crazy), there are plenty of other things that should logically be cruelty as well, then.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Mon Jul 27, 2015 3:57 pm UTC

Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby speising » Mon Jul 27, 2015 4:54 pm UTC


What really gets me is that the sentence in question is classified as a "joke".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:34 pm UTC

Good to know I'm not the only one who didn't get it. Is "God" a brand name for some kind of juice?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PolakoVoador » Mon Jul 27, 2015 9:20 pm UTC

A town near where I live issued this invitation for the Municipal Conference on Policies for Women.
Spoiler:
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It's "nice" to see that zero women seem to be involved with their Conference on Policies for Women.

And in an amazing "sorry not sorry", the mayor answered the backlash with:
If this invitation caused questions about its format, if it provokes negative reactions and interpretations that the Coordination did not intend, we will change the format.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Quercus » Mon Jul 27, 2015 9:34 pm UTC

That is one of the only things that has ever caused me to do a literal spit take. WTF??!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Grop » Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:25 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:Good to know I'm not the only one who didn't get it. Is "God" a brand name for some kind of juice?


And I first thought there would be something dirty about that juice.

Most probably the joke is a lie. See how it does not make any more or less sense if you replace joke with cake?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PolakoVoador » Tue Jul 28, 2015 12:16 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:That is one of the only things that has ever caused me to do a literal spit take. WTF??!


WTF only begins to describe it. The more I look at it and think how could it happen, the more absurd (and sad) it gets.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby DSenette » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:03 pm UTC

Tyndmyr wrote:
Quercus wrote:This is one of those issues where I would have to see actual primary research evidence on the levels of pain and distress experienced by animals slaughtered by Kosher, Halal and conventional methods before coming to a conclusion. The relative levels of suffering are not intuitively obvious to me, and it's such a divisive issue that one can't trust any media portrayals to be unbiased.


I've been cut by a sharp knife before. Not "and bled out to death", but a cut isn't necessarily terribly horrific. I'd take one over, say, a good burn any day.

Bolt to the head is pretty painless, for sure. I suppose the question is if the difference is enough to constitute cruelty. If it is(which doesn't seem THAT crazy), there are plenty of other things that should logically be cruelty as well, then.

based on studies that I've seen (not many) exsanguination isn't exactly the most fun way to go. I mean....better than drowning, or being burned alive probably....but you're fairly aware through the majority of the process as it takes a while for all the blood to get out. add to that, being a dumb beast that can't tell what's going on, and you get a lot of "dafuq do I feel like shit right now.....I'm not supposed to feel like shit....this is bad juju I gotta get the fudge out of this shit".

so as far as I see it it's not increased suffering to the level of burning the animal alive as a sacrifice....but it's still increased suffering over "hey, this is a neat little pen. what's that thing in your hand?" *chunk*. for what amounts to personal opinion. if there was some legitimately objective value to the kosher/halal preparations it would be different, but.....there isn't such a thing.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Zamfir » Tue Jul 28, 2015 7:48 pm UTC

I am sure bleeding to death is not the most pleasant way to die. And if the rest of the bioindustry was sunshine and roses, with this as remaining issue, it might be worth a look. But the industry is full of nastiness, most of which has no purpose but to save pennies from the price.

So why do people focus on this particular practice that has a larger importance to people than all those other practices? Because they want to piss off muslims, and they want deniable cover. We can scratch our chins about how animal unfriendly halal slaughtering really is, and then we give them exactly that cover.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:24 pm UTC

Zamfir wrote:I am sure bleeding to death is not the most pleasant way to die. And if the rest of the bioindustry was sunshine and roses, with this as remaining issue, it might be worth a look. But the industry is full of nastiness, most of which has no purpose but to save pennies from the price.

So why do people focus on this particular practice that has a larger importance to people than all those other practices? Because they want to piss off muslims, and they want deniable cover. We can scratch our chins about how animal unfriendly halal slaughtering really is, and then we give them exactly that cover.


Agreed. Don't claim it's "unethical" while factory farms are still legal.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PeteP » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:47 pm UTC

So you are saying the law in general should be removed not just the exception readded?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Whizbang » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:53 pm UTC

I have seen on other discussions of this forum where arguments in the form of "X is worse than Y so we shouldn't stop Y until we stop X" get soundly ridiculed by all and sundry. Please explain how this situation is different.


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