In other news... (humorous news items)

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PeteP
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PeteP » Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:09 pm UTC

That list tells me two things: a) They probably just went by what they find squicky. b) They aren't particularly well versed in the variety of porn. I mean they put water sports there and not scat for instance.
Also, female ejaculation is on the list? Really?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:15 pm UTC

Yeah, last thing I want to see in porn is women having a good time. Male ejaculate is the only sort of ejaculate that is worth seeing! Also, why should the BDSM community enjoy themselves; clearly the way forward is for straight-only missionary position where the man does his duty and the woman lies back and thinks of England!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:20 pm UTC

Yeah, the only proper porn is the type that involves a dick so large it's like giving birth in reverse. And forget realistic female sounds; make her sound like a seal for the entire time. And of course, the sexiest job in the world is pizza delivery boy, rather than firefighter.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:27 am UTC

Carlington wrote:
yurell wrote:Massive storm in Brisbane ... temperature dropped 15 degrees (C) in fourteen minutes, 141 km/hr wins, 20mL of rain in ten minutes (40 mL in 25 mins), 80k customers without power ...
This is the first I've seen/heard about this! If I remember right you're not up that way, though you might be - if so, hope you weren't hit too hard! Looks much, much worse than the ones down here the other week.
Mallich wrote:On a less happy note:
Citizens of Thailand use Hunger Games three-fingered salute to protest against a government they claim is Capitol-level evil.
Government responds by being Capitol-level evil.
Link.
"Highlights" include:
Protesters being sent to a military camp to get an "attitude adjustment".
Police detain protesters, police Colonel says that "we are just inviting them to talk".
On a more happy note:
Police have lain down their gear and taken down the barricades in solidarity with the protesters, which seems to mark a serious shift in the balance of power.
link

What a Great Clip!
So heartwarming!
So hopeful!

So darned cute.
Those moments are enough to make us all proud to be human.

Changing the Guy at the Top is like rearranging the deck chairs.
The Real Change must come from within the rank and file.

Those Police look like the Change I'd like to see more of in the World.
Thank you for that.
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Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby HungryHobo » Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:13 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:make her sound like a seal for the entire time.


I mean who isn't into seals?

And ya, some of the stuff on that list gets a raised eyebrow.

Not unexpected though. The anti-porn morality-brigade were able to push through the first round of bans without much resistance so they're going to continue pushing until everything that makes them blush is outlawed or someone pushes back.

It's tough to get a politician to stand up in defence of anything except missionary sex between married people so it's going to keep going for a while. Which of the current MP's can you imagine standing up and declaring that "[porn fetish] is perfectly fine, they're consenting adults"

I'm waiting till fantasy-necrophila gets banned and suddenly a load of female middle-aged housewives get in trouble for twilight/true blood porn.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Sizik » Thu Dec 04, 2014 3:06 am UTC

she/they
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Thu Dec 04, 2014 3:19 am UTC

So, does this cover everyone who was a member or the Nazi party, or just those who served in the military?
cemper93 wrote:Dude, I just presented an elaborate multiple fraction in Comic Sans. Who are you to question me?


Pronouns: Feminine pronouns please!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Dec 04, 2014 3:23 am UTC


I'm sorry.
My sense of humor must be broken.

I read that as, There will be no forgiveness, Not Ever.
An enemy, even if only on paper, will be punished in any way the US can think of, forever.
As long as the Real AssHoles live in Peace and Luxury, we'll pass laws that punish them; After they are dead.

I don't like it.
What's in a name, Shakespeare?
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Thu Dec 04, 2014 4:26 am UTC

I read it in the same tone, addams.
cemper93 wrote:Dude, I just presented an elaborate multiple fraction in Comic Sans. Who are you to question me?


Pronouns: Feminine pronouns please!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Dec 04, 2014 5:34 am UTC

yurell wrote:I read it in the same tone, addams.

oh, Good.
Now there are two of us.

We should be able to find something to laugh at.
The Australian News tends to be funny.
They live in a topsy-turvy world.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby K-R » Thu Dec 04, 2014 5:36 am UTC

PeteP wrote:Also, female ejaculation is on the list? Really?

It was banned in Australia a few years ago, because female ejaculation doesn't exist, so anything claiming to depict female ejaculation comes under the urolagnia ban.

Pretty sure that was around the same time they banned porn involving women with A-cups, because women with A-cups don't actually exist, so it falls under child pornography laws.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Thu Dec 04, 2014 7:33 am UTC


Just great!

Wait until you apply for social security: You'll have to face an inquisition to prove you aren't a Nazi. "To the dunking chair with him; and if he shall survive, then he shall be put to death; for if he survives then he is surely a Nazi!"
(Yes I know that's an urban legend, but it is such perfect parody of the mindset of these idiots.)

I'll be more forgiving of the concept if they require every officer of a bank or corporation, and every elected or appointed officer of federal or state government in the United States--every patriarchal figure--to prove they aren't Nazis.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:05 am UTC

mathmannix wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:I hope that someone buys it and displays it next to a list of the names Crick, Franklin, Watson and Wilkins.

Watson and Crick are the two names I recognized. I had to look up the others...
How can you say someone is great if he's never been on bubblegum cards?


Poor Ros Franklin got gypped, severely. And she's still virtually unknown.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Dec 04, 2014 12:39 pm UTC

Coyne wrote:

Just great!

Wait until you apply for social security: You'll have to face an inquisition to prove you aren't a Nazi. "To the dunking chair with him; and if he shall survive, then he shall be put to death; for if he survives then he is surely a Nazi!"
(Yes I know that's an urban legend, but it is such perfect parody of the mindset of these idiots.)

I'll be more forgiving of the concept if they require every officer of a bank or corporation, and every elected or appointed officer of federal or state government in the United States--every patriarchal figure--to prove they aren't Nazis.

That's what is so frustrating.
People with control of enough money can Act like Nazis.
While pointing an accusing finger at Terrorists/Witches/Communists.

It IS tempting to give them a taste of their own medicine.
If we ever tried to, then we become them.
I don't want to be like Them.

ok...A little.
Rich, powerful and at ease might be nice.

What do you think?
Is it nice?
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Dec 04, 2014 2:32 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:Poor Ros Franklin got gypped, severely. And she's still virtually unknown.


In all fairness she did try to give the Double Helix a funeral service.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ahammel » Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:05 pm UTC

He/Him/His/Alex
God damn these electric sex pants!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby sardia » Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:09 am UTC

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/05/upsho ... f=politics
The current do-nothing Congress isn’t do-nothing across the board. Some of its lassitude is quite intentional...Like its predecessor, this Congress has struggled to pass mandatory spending legislation and failed to agree on major policy proposals. But the decrease in output is at least partly due to a “decreased desire to legislate among Republicans,” Joshua D. Clinton, a political science professor at Vanderbilt University, wrote in an email. In most cases, Democratic lawmakers’ goals are tied to enacting or changing policies through legislation, while some Republican goals may not require the passage of bills, but merely the defeat of Democratic legislation.

Once we redefine the purpose of a Republican Congress, then it becomes quite clear. Congress is the most successful institutions in the country, they have succeeded very well in GOP policy goals.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:35 am UTC

Yes.
The US Congress has for the last fifteen years succeeded in GOP goals.
It is hard for me to see the funny in that.

It is a group of people saying one thing and doing a different thing.
The goals of Misinformation and Shock and Awe have been met.

Off the top of my head.
1. They say they don't want to spend money foolishly.
They got a nation with 3 million dollars in the Black.
Within 8 years they had turned it into 4 trillion dollars in the Red.

2. They say they want education.
They support policies that cripple the intellect.
What is That? Sweet misery loves your company?

3. They say they want the US to be safe.
They have made enemies feel vindicated and turned friends into distant and cool acquaintances at best and some into enemies
The Congress does anything and everything to make people that liked the US change their minds. Even, many of our own have changed their minds.
The ones that never liked the US have watched the deplorable words and actions of the US leadership and must feel vindicated in their conformation bias.

4. No good will toward mankind comes from that legislative body.
The contention and lack of good will is a point of pride with our GOP leaders.

We are being led effectively by the GOP to meet GOP goals.

Gosh! Look!
The Gates of Hell!

I suppose, blaming and going over the details of the journey are fitting activities to engage in as we stumble into Hell.
We are willingly being led into Hell.

Damn.
What happened to my sense of humor?
(sorry)
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby yurell » Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:40 am UTC

In news that surprises absolutely no one, giving someone purpose, hope and structure decreases their crime rate. Tested on minority youth in Chicago.
cemper93 wrote:Dude, I just presented an elaborate multiple fraction in Comic Sans. Who are you to question me?


Pronouns: Feminine pronouns please!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:53 am UTC

yurell wrote:In news that surprises absolutely no one, giving someone purpose, hope and structure decreases their crime rate. Tested on minority youth in Chicago.

Thank you for bringing that.
It is heart warming and hopeful.

We have KNOWN that for longer than those people have been alive.
What is Wrong with us that we don't ACT on it more?

Maybe, my sense of humor is broken.
I may need a mechanic.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:57 am UTC

This did not Kick Start my sense of humor.
It is silly and Aussie. It's a start.
http://www.chilloutpoint.com/funny/top- ... lines.html

Students Cook and Serve GrandParents.
It has a Ring to it.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Fri Dec 05, 2014 6:24 am UTC



Received chicken manure in return box. Unable to restock.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:44 am UTC

Watson to get his Nobel Medal back.


Aww.. It's kind of sweet actually.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:04 pm UTC

Louisville Bar uses $80 bottle of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon to make jello shots

Because fuck you, that's why.

(That being said, if you wanted to buy a bottle on the black market, the same stuff would be +$400.)
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Diadem » Mon Dec 15, 2014 12:52 pm UTC


Wow, a foreign news paper that correctly capitalizes IJsselstein. Bonus points for the BBC.

The worst part is that during the attempt to remove the fallen crane, the cable broke (or become undone, not sure) and the crane fell on the house *again*, doing even more damage. They showed that footage on the Dutch news, and it is just painful to watch.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:15 pm UTC

What's so difficult about capitalising Usselstein? :mrgreen:
Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Link » Mon Dec 15, 2014 7:19 pm UTC

bigglesworth wrote:What's so difficult about capitalising Usselstein? :mrgreen:

*Thwap.*

Although, in a rather convoluted way, it's still less wrong than "Ijsselstein": in Dutch, 'ij' is a digraph; the capital form is 'IJ'. In crossword puzzles and the like, Y gets substituted for IJ, and Y is of course related to U through the Greek upsilon. Writing 'Ij' implies the I and j are to be treated as separate letters rather than a digraph, and I can't think of any non-madey-uppey words where that would be the case.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bigglesworth » Mon Dec 15, 2014 7:35 pm UTC

Ÿsselstein?
Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Mon Dec 15, 2014 10:44 pm UTC

Moscow no longer getting "Eye of Sauron"

Apparently, an artist group had intended to erect the eye on top of a Moscow skyscraper in tribute to JRR Tolkien, but after objects from the city government and Russian Orthodox Church (which thought it demonic) it is being scrapped.


One person suggests an alternative location for the Eye: "The roof of the US Embassy's the best place for it."


(Personally I would think that Putin would love a giant fiery all-seeing eye)


EDIT: In similar Eastern European Lord-of-the-Rings related news:

Wanted: Gandalf-like individual to run for President of Belarus.

"It's a cushy job," they promise, adding that they've chosen the character because he's "a good wizard and a friend to the Hobbits, who as we know are like Belarusians"


President Lukashenko is a close ally of Russia - a point not lost on the organisers, who quip that "Gandalf's" main task will be to "confront Mordor, which lies somewhere near Moscow".



Funny coincidence.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Diadem » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:07 pm UTC

Link wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:What's so difficult about capitalising Usselstein? :mrgreen:

*Thwap.*

Although, in a rather convoluted way, it's still less wrong than "Ijsselstein": in Dutch, 'ij' is a digraph; the capital form is 'IJ'.

Actually it's a ligature. Some people (including wikipedia) insist on calling it a digraph, so the mistake is understandable, but historically at least it is clearly a ligature. If it were a digraph you wouldn't have to capitalize both parts. Of course thanks to modern computers not having the 'ij' key, more and more people think of it is as a digraph. I guess eventually it will become one. But I shall be figthing that change for as long as possible.

Link wrote:Writing 'Ij' implies the I and j are to be treated as separate letters rather than a digraph, and I can't think of any non-madey-uppey words where that would be the case.

There's the word "bijectie" ("bijection") from math. Here it's 2 separate letters, bi-jectie. There's a few more combinations you can make with the bi- prefix, but none are common. And you wouldn't capitalize either letter there anyway.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PolakoVoador » Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:31 pm UTC

Methane 'belches' detected on Mars

Well, it seems organic matter is all over stuff, be it comets or Mars.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Wed Dec 17, 2014 11:54 pm UTC

Sony cancels "The Interview" release.


I'm absolutely astounded.

We let North Korea win.

Honestly.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby poochyena » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:16 am UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:Sony cancels "The Interview" release.


I'm absolutely astounded.

We let North Korea win.

Honestly.


I just can't decide how to feel about North Korea potentially going into war due to a movie.

I do wish they'd stand up to North Korea, its kinda sad that anyone would let North Korea bully anyone.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Sizik » Thu Dec 18, 2014 3:15 am UTC

Who wants to bet it'll be the most pirated movie of the year?
she/they
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Dec 18, 2014 3:27 am UTC

poochyena wrote:
Djehutynakht wrote:Sony cancels "The Interview" release.


I'm absolutely astounded.

We let North Korea win.

Honestly.


I just can't decide how to feel about North Korea potentially going into war due to a movie.

I do wish they'd stand up to North Korea, its kinda sad that anyone would let North Korea bully anyone.

Really? That's what you think?
I did not think that.

I read:
The film is about a fictional plot to kill North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

I thouht, "Is that a living person? The movie is about killing a living person?"
"It that like a Movie about hunting down and killing any living human being?'

Not illegal, but in questionable if not poor taste.

What if the US made a Movie about going into Pakistan and killing a leader there?
Only, Not Do It!

I'm not too sure how the person the movie is about should react.
How would you react? I'd not want to see the movie. You?

I read.
Comedian Jimmy Kimmel tweeted that the decision by theatres to refuse to show the film was "an un-American act of cowardice that validates terrorist actions and sets a terrifying precedent."

My little head exploded.
What is more Terrifying than US Media??

What the Fuck??
Calling a person Un-American may be a kind of compliment.

US movies for little children are violent and frightening.
The movies built for Adults will scare the living shit out of Educated and Experienced Adults.

The American Media Corporation makes a movie about the assassination of a leader in one of the Koreas....It's a comedy.
When the Korea refuses to expose themselves and each other to it, the Lobbyist/Actor for the Movie call those people Anti-American Cowards.

Can I call Onion?
That can't be real.
It must be Onion.

Did you hear??
Mars Farts!!
PolakoVoador wrote:Methane 'belches' detected on Mars

Well, it seems organic matter is all over stuff, be it comets or Mars.



Methane!
Sure. Sure. Methane is produced in small amours.....Ask a Chemist!
Even I know, a lot of Methane is made by living things.
Methane...What interesting stuff Methane is.

LIFE!!
How else could so much Methane be produced?

I'm ok with Life on Mars.
Let's look at their books!

I know I can't read Mars.
I still want to look at Mars Books.

...uumm..The old questions remain unanswered.
Where did the Martians go?
Are we going there, too?
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Dec 18, 2014 8:42 am UTC

A movie about assassinating a living person may be in bad taste, but I'd say what Kim Jong Un and the North Koreans have done (to suppress the movie alone, not even in general) trumps that bad taste, I'd say.

Even if in "bad taste", there's a basic right and freedom to show the movie, which North Korea forcefully infringed not only by hacking attacks, but also by terrorist threats.

This dummy hacker group literally said in a statement "Hey Americans, remember 9/11? Yeah... you might not want to go near any movie theater showing this movie".


I'd say North Korea has definitely moved into the "wrong" on this one.

Chen
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Chen » Thu Dec 18, 2014 12:58 pm UTC

Out of curiosity when was North Korea in the "right" about...well anything lately?

DSenette
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby DSenette » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:47 pm UTC

Chen wrote:Out of curiosity when was North Korea in the "right" about...well anything lately ever?


fixed that for you
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:47 pm UTC

Chen wrote:Out of curiosity when was North Korea in the "right" about...well anything lately?


Well the argument I think Addams was making is that North Korea (or Kim Jong Un, at least) had a right to be offended, because we were basically making a comedy about killing their leader.

And my counterargument was that if our comedies about assassinations put us in the wrong, then North Korea hacking into Sony and essentially threatening sabotage and terrorism put them much further into the wrong than we (in the case of this particular event).



Also, in related comedy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-un

The picture being used for Kim Jong-Un's profile on Wikipedia is a hand-drawn sketch.

I can't exactly gather why, but from a quick glance at the talk page I think it has something to do with no picture of him being copyright-free or something, or something along those lines that prevents Wikipedia from using it.


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