In other news... (humorous news items)

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Iulus Cofield
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Mon May 28, 2012 5:10 pm UTC

I've heard Texas is pretty strict about those kind of things. Since education is mandatory in the US until you're 16, those sort of policies are ubiquitous, but it's rare to see them enforced with jail time, especially for an honor student. All of the public schools I attended had an expulsion policy for ten absences, but they were never enforced, largely because expelling a student means a funding drop and so there was a lot of motivation to solve attendance problems by other means.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby buddy431 » Tue May 29, 2012 4:05 am UTC

A satirical painting (maybe NSFW) of South African leader Jacob Zuma with his genitals showing prompts outcry from the ANC. In retaliation for the painting, someone has Photoshopped opposition leader Helen Zille's head onto the body of an elderly naked woman (NSFW). Zille laughed off the picture, saying
Helen Zille wrote:Now you can see why I try to cycle vigorously for an hour every day. I obviously need more than Botox

Maybe Zuma and the ANC could learn from her example.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Tue May 29, 2012 4:11 am UTC

Wait, Zuma was the one that raped a woman with AIDS but said he'd be fine because he took a hot shower afterwards, right? Also, years of massive corruption that his political party ignored? I'd assume that picture is highly accurate.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby buddy431 » Tue May 29, 2012 5:27 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Wait, Zuma was the one that raped a woman with AIDS but said he'd be fine because he took a hot shower afterwards, right? Also, years of massive corruption that his political party ignored? I'd assume that picture is highly accurate.


No no, the court found that the sex was totally consensual.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Tue May 29, 2012 11:21 pm UTC

Miami Police Shoot and Kill a Cannibal

A naked man eating another man's face "growled like a wild animal" before he was shot dead by Miami police, a police officer said, telling Courthouse News, "I think this is the craziest thing anyone's ever heard of."
...
The victim, a homeless man who also was naked, was rushed to the hospital in critical condition, with up to 80 percent of his face missing, including his nose and eyeballs, local media reported.
...
The officer fired once at the deranged man, but according to news reports this had no effect on the ravenous attacker, forcing the officer to fire multiple rounds, killing him.


Zombie apocalypse incoming.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Tue May 29, 2012 11:51 pm UTC

Apparently it was caused by bath salts.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Tue May 29, 2012 11:59 pm UTC

For those of us who are less in tune with street talk, bath salts refers to a drug called MDPV.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylenedioxypyrovalerone

That means that they fall under the classification of Chemically induced zombies.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed May 30, 2012 12:10 am UTC

Pity he was killed. He would've either made a really good anti-drug demonstrator for schools, or a horrifyingly bad one.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Panonadin » Wed May 30, 2012 12:13 am UTC

Thesh I appriciate you linking to that, I literally thought the guy like ingested BATH SALTS and it made him coocoo.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Wed May 30, 2012 12:19 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Pity he was killed. He would've either made a really good anti-drug demonstrator for schools, or a horrifyingly bad one.


Are you seriously advocating sending a zombie to schools to eat children? You are sick. I mean, yes, I advocate forced abortion, but only before the twelfth trimester, and by humane ways, not zombicannibalification (sp?).

Panonadin wrote:Thesh I appriciate you linking to that, I literally thought the guy like ingested BATH SALTS and it made him coocoo.


I appreciate the sarcasm, but I linked to it because I had never heard of a drug referred to as bath salts before, not that I think people would assume it was actual bath salts. I figured that if I had to google it, more people would google and by linking to it I could save people time. I mean, I agree, what a fucking idiotic thing to do, provide people with a link instead of letting everyone who is curious do a google search. Next time you post something, remember that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, then move on.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed May 30, 2012 12:31 am UTC

Not in true seriousness, more of a funny thought. I grew up with the god-awful DARE program. The program that turned out to be so ineffective that it increased the chance of drug use. But if we had some guy come in, talking about how he once ate someone's face while on drugs...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Panonadin » Wed May 30, 2012 12:50 am UTC

I.....wasn't being sarcastic.

I didn't read the article and went off what the person above you posted. People do dumb shit, huff paint, sniff glue, drink cough syrup. I LITERALLY thought that he ingested/snorted/injected bath salts and it made him go crazy.

I was being genuine. Sorry that you felt the need to assume I was being a dick. Next time you post something, think.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Wed May 30, 2012 12:55 am UTC

I apologize for that. My experience on this forum is that people tend to be dicks.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Panonadin » Wed May 30, 2012 12:57 am UTC

Mine too, actually.

Sorry, now that I re read it, I guess if we assume I'm like a large sample of posters it could come across both ways. No problemo though, I 'm glad to of learned of something new!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Steax » Wed May 30, 2012 1:20 am UTC

I also had absolutely no idea what "bath salts" meant. It creeped me out for a bit, thinking that any random person bathing in a particular brand of salt (I didn't know this practice existed, but hey) could turn into a zombie.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby pseudoidiot » Wed May 30, 2012 1:22 am UTC

Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed May 30, 2012 7:55 am UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby folkhero » Wed May 30, 2012 8:37 am UTC

My gut reaction when I hear about the police in the U.S. shooting someone is that it was probably unnecessary, but these guys were clearly just being genre savvy enough to prevent a major zombie outbreak.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Ghostbear » Wed May 30, 2012 8:41 am UTC

Even ignoring that, the guy who was having his face eaten is (or at least was, as of the last bit I read) still alive and in intensive care. They had to shoot the salt-zombie because otherwise they'd have had a guaranteed victim death.

Also, with respect to the bath salt stuff... I had heard of it as a drug before, but had completely forgotten about such. So the reminder about that was helpful for me as well.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed May 30, 2012 8:46 am UTC

If I'm understanding the article correctly, the officer who found the cannibal was alone and the perp was eating someone's face off and growling like an animal. I don't think I would have the courage to try and restrain someone like that by myself when I could safely shoot him. I know the police are expected to put themselves into harms way, but when you will probably looks chunks of your face, all bets are off in my book.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Роберт » Wed May 30, 2012 3:16 pm UTC

Panonadin wrote:Thesh I appriciate you linking to that, I literally thought the guy like ingested BATH SALTS and it made him coocoo.

Ditto.

And the cop preventing the zombie apocalypse was a good cop. No offense to the dead guy, but if you're eating someone's face and growling like an animal, it's okay if the cops shoot to kill if you refuse to stop.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed May 30, 2012 4:17 pm UTC

Iulus Cofield wrote:In more WTF did they put in the water news:

Police: Hackensack man stabbed himself and threw intestines at officers


folkhero wrote:My gut reaction when I hear about the police in the U.S. shooting someone is that it was probably unnecessary, but these guys were clearly just being genre savvy enough to prevent a major zombie outbreak.


Pun intentional?

Роберт wrote:And the cop preventing the zombie apocalypse was a good cop.


But he didn't shoot that homeless guy. He didn't shoot him! <Grabs shotgun, boards up windows, finds a bike>

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Wed May 30, 2012 6:13 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:
Роберт wrote:And the cop preventing the zombie apocalypse was a good cop.


But he didn't shoot that homeless guy. He didn't shoot him! <Grabs shotgun, boards up windows, finds a bike>


G'damnit you linked Cracked and I have shit I need to do today... like buy a shotgun and fix up my bike... Well I'm screwed... <clicks another link>
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Wed May 30, 2012 7:47 pm UTC

Cracked links really should come with a warning.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Panonadin » Wed May 30, 2012 7:49 pm UTC

Cracked is blocked from my work, and I have never read it at home, therefore, I am not privi(sp?) to what it's all about.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby pseudoidiot » Wed May 30, 2012 7:50 pm UTC

Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby broken_escalator » Wed May 30, 2012 7:51 pm UTC

Ditto, my work also filters cracked as "Tasteless". Usually I forget to open the articles when I get home, but StumbleUpon loves sending me to Cracked an awful lot.

TvTropes works though...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Panonadin » Wed May 30, 2012 7:58 pm UTC

Both of those are blocked as well, and I've never even heard of stumbleupon, I'm so safe from the internet!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby emceng » Wed May 30, 2012 7:59 pm UTC

What the hell? Clicked the link for the hell of it, but apparently my work filter no longer blocks Cracked. Wow. Not good for productivity.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Panonadin » Wed May 30, 2012 8:02 pm UTC

Per company policy you have been denied access to the URL:
http://www.cracked.com/article_19325_6- ... fi-movie...

Reason:
Not allowed to browse Entertainment category

____________________________________________________________________________________

Per company policy you have been denied access to the URL:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Magazine/Cracked

Reason:
Not allowed to browse Television/Movies category

____________________________________________________________________________________

That is that.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby iamspen » Thu May 31, 2012 2:38 pm UTC

Jesus, who do you work for, HitlerStalin, Inc, USA?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby eran_rathan » Thu May 31, 2012 2:57 pm UTC

iamspen wrote:Jesus, who do you work for, HitlerStalin, Inc, USA?


I'd expect them to be an LLC, personally.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Deva » Thu May 31, 2012 7:25 pm UTC

Changed his name to a web address.
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- Florida is letting a congressional candidate put the name of his web address on the ballot.

Why? Because Eddie Gonzalez went before a Miami-Dade judge this past January and had his name legally changed to "VoteforEddie.com."

A spokesman for the Florida Department of State said Wednesday that officials have no choice because a judge granted the name change request just days after election officials told him he could not use any nicknames.

"As a ministerial office, we have no authority to not permit his legal name to appear on the ballot," said the spokesman, Chris Cate.

Prefers to imagine that as his name since birth.
"Selected VoteforEddie.com for a boy and VoteforEdna.com for a girl. Will always be the first hit on Google."
Must be difficult in places with no self-advertisement, though.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Thu May 31, 2012 8:52 pm UTC

30 years in the senate.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu May 31, 2012 11:55 pm UTC

Deva wrote:Changed his name to a web address.
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- Florida is letting a congressional candidate put the name of his web address on the ballot.

Why? Because Eddie Gonzalez went before a Miami-Dade judge this past January and had his name legally changed to "VoteforEddie.com."

A spokesman for the Florida Department of State said Wednesday that officials have no choice because a judge granted the name change request just days after election officials told him he could not use any nicknames.

"As a ministerial office, we have no authority to not permit his legal name to appear on the ballot," said the spokesman, Chris Cate.

Prefers to imagine that as his name since birth.
"Selected VoteforEddie.com for a boy and VoteforEdna.com for a girl. Will always be the first hit on Google."
Must be difficult in places with no self-advertisement, though.




It's legal to have a period in ones name? I didn't know that.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:14 am UTC

You don't recall the artist formerly known as Prince?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:18 am UTC

PhoenixEnigma wrote:You don't recall the artist formerly known as Prince?


I don't remember him having a period in his name.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Steax » Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:11 am UTC

In Minecraft, I use the username Rirez.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby buddy431 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:04 pm UTC

It's raining sheep in Australia.

The story's really sort of sad, at least for the sheep, though it's lucky that no people were killed.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby broken_escalator » Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:45 pm UTC

Sounds like the sheep were having a....

Baaaaahhd day.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH


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