0857: "Archimedes"

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sportsracer48
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0857: "Archimedes"

Postby sportsracer48 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:03 am UTC

Image

Alt text: Give a man a fish, or he will destroy the only existing vial of antidote.

We'll cross that bridge when I get MY GODDAMN AIRPLANE!

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glasnt
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby glasnt » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:04 am UTC

A bird in the hand is worth more than two bullets in your kneecap, now catch that meddling parrot!



or




No Mr Bond, I expect you to expect the unexpected!


FLIP!

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Steve the Pocket
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:04 am UTC

Sometimes the simplest jokes can be the best.
cephalopod9 wrote:Only on Xkcd can you start a topic involving Hitler and people spend the better part of half a dozen pages arguing about the quality of Operating Systems.

Baige.

sportsracer48
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby sportsracer48 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:07 am UTC

Kill two birds with one stone? The Birds are wired to thermonuclear bombs in the stone set to detonate if their hearts stop beating.

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Kaelri
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Kaelri » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:08 am UTC

Steve the Pocket wrote:Sometimes the simplest jokes can be the best.

That's a fact. I don't often burst into actual laughter from reading a webcomic (alone, at night, in a dark room), but for some reason this one did it.

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KShrike
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby KShrike » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:16 am UTC

The character should have been given a beard, like in the sysadmin one (http://xkcd.com/705/)
On 10/10/10, My Little Pony started to appeal to adult males. Ya rly!
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tehol
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby tehol » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:19 am UTC

I don't know if I get it...

Does the humour exist because he took a common conditional phrase, and added a dramatic conclusion that you don't expect?
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glasnt
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby glasnt » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:19 am UTC

KShrike wrote:The character should have been given a beard, like in the sysadmin one (http://xkcd.com/705/)

I never noticed the beard before now, I thought it was part of the phone or something. He now looks like a douche, thanks :(

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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:24 am UTC

Someone's been watching Jason Statham movies. :P
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KShrike
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby KShrike » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:28 am UTC

tehol wrote:I don't know if I get it...

Does the humour exist because he took a common conditional phrase, and added a dramatic conclusion that you don't expect?


To put it bluntly, yes. I didn't ROFL, or LOL. It was more like "haha".
On 10/10/10, My Little Pony started to appeal to adult males. Ya rly!
Forget the /b/ memes, and go watch the show and see what I mean. After all, the /b/ memes exist because the show itself is so cleverly written. Check it out!

DVC
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby DVC » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:45 am UTC

If I have seen further than those who have come before me it is because I have poked out their eyes. -- Newton

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glasnt
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby glasnt » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:47 am UTC

DVC wrote:If I have seen further than those who have come before me it is because I have poked out their eyes. -- Newton

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from threatening to shoot him. -- Galileo Galilei

Am I doing it right?

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phlip
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby phlip » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:49 am UTC

tehol wrote:I don't know if I get it...

Does the humour exist because he took a common conditional phrase, and added a dramatic conclusion that you don't expect?

Yes - violation of expectations is a standard humour source. As well as jokes like this strip, which alter a well-known phrase or saying, it's also invoked in rule-of-three jokes (the first two instances establish a pattern, and then the third breaks that pattern, violating the hearers expectations and causing humour) and anti-humour (in which a well-known joke is re-told, but the now-expected punchline is replaced with something which is not, per se, funny, however the substitution of same causes humour through the broken expectation).

I'm sure there are some academic papers on the topic, which would be just as dry and humourless as this post. Wikipedia may have some useful links as a starting point.

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

gkarrish
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby gkarrish » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:00 am UTC

DVC wrote:If I have seen further than those who have come before me it is because I have poked out their eyes. -- Newton


It's not easy to get me to laugh at the same gag twice, but that did it. Well done.

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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Eternal Density » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:02 am UTC

I had "A bird in the hand is worth less than your lives!" but I guess I've been beaten on that saying, so how about:

Every dark cloud has been carefully vetted by the CIA.

If at first you don't succeed you will receive an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record. Followed by death. Good luck!

God helps those who help me.

Give me liberty, or I'll give you death.

Laugh, and the world lasts a day longer.
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phlip
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby phlip » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:04 am UTC

An apple a day is not nearly enough food to live on.

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

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glasnt
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby glasnt » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:18 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:
Give me liberty, or I'll give you death.



Got a chuckle out of me :D

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ysth
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby ysth » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:27 am UTC

Tell me that isn't an Oglaf (NSFW) reference.
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Halrandir
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Halrandir » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:37 am UTC

Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss be glad you didn't die on impact.

StrandOfGibraltar
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby StrandOfGibraltar » Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:07 am UTC

If it ain't broke... I'm not buying bombs from you again.

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Quaternia
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Quaternia » Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:10 am UTC

That's something I'd have expected Black Hat Guy to say... o.O
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Kirby
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Kirby » Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:31 am UTC

Almost only counts in horseshoes and significance tests.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with phaser guns.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the truth value of either clause in this sentence.

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cake.

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existentialpanda
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby existentialpanda » Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:47 am UTC

Note to self: do not check xkcd while roommate is finishing her chem midterm three feet away.

Although I do feel much better about my own now. I knew there was a reason I liked this comic.

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SW15243
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby SW15243 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:55 am UTC

When life gives you lemons, make sure to kidnap someone more valuable next time.

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madock345
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby madock345 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 8:05 am UTC

Kaelri wrote:
Steve the Pocket wrote:Sometimes the simplest jokes can be the best.

That's a fact. I don't often burst into actual laughter from reading a webcomic (alone, at night, in a dark room), but for some reason this one did it.

We should take a poll to see just how many people read xkcd "alone, at night, in a dark room". I expect a landslide majority.
Also: "If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s probably a well disguised bomb.
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koreiryuu
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby koreiryuu » Mon Feb 07, 2011 8:18 am UTC

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if aimed properly.

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Plasma Mongoose
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Plasma Mongoose » Mon Feb 07, 2011 8:37 am UTC

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

I hope he gets his bell curve straightened out.

People are dying like hotcakes on a hot tin man.

The fan is gonna hit the roof.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease on fire.
A virus walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve viruses in here".
The virus replaces the bartender and says "Now we do!"

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Tyrannosaur
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Tyrannosaur » Mon Feb 07, 2011 8:59 am UTC

Kirby wrote:Almost only counts in horseshoes and significance tests.


Kirby wrote:Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the truth value of either clause in this sentence.


hahahaha the best so far
djessop wrote:The t-shirt should read "There are 11 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, those who don't and those who insist the number above is pronounced as eleven no matter what base you're in".

n079614
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby n079614 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:32 am UTC

The early bird gets the worm, OR ELSE MUTHA******S!!!

philip1201
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby philip1201 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:42 am UTC

You have two spaceships moving towards each other, one of them moves at 0.8c relative to the Earth and is equipped with a 800 nm laser (according to the ship) pointed at the other ship. How fast does the other ship have to go, given there is a sensor which responds to light with a wavelength of 400 nm or below, which is rigged to explode along with all the hostages if it isn't activated in 30 minutes.

Special relativity meets Speed in SPEED 2: RELATIVE VELOCITY

Isaac
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Isaac » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:54 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Give me liberty, or I'll give you death.


I always thought that that was the spirit of the phrase anyway.

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SirMustapha
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby SirMustapha » Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:11 am UTC

phlip wrote:
tehol wrote:I don't know if I get it...

Does the humour exist because he took a common conditional phrase, and added a dramatic conclusion that you don't expect?

Yes - violation of expectations is a standard humour source.


Including the violation of the expectation that there is a joke in the first place, I suppose?

Essah
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Essah » Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:46 am UTC

Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die... when I point my gun at them

First impressions are the most lasting... especially when made by a 9mm

Fortune favours the brave, or whoever has the gun

Ignorance is bliss if the bomb under your car is about to explode.

It is better to give than to receive... especially when talking about bullets

Live for today but tomorrow never dies

The bigger they are, the harder they fall...when you shoot them

UrielZyx
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby UrielZyx » Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:05 am UTC

The cake is alive!

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Aleifr
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Aleifr » Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:17 am UTC

Essah wrote:Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die... when I point my gun at them

First impressions are the most lasting... especially when made by a 9mm

Fortune favours the brave, or whoever has the gun

Ignorance is bliss if the bomb under your car is about to explode.

It is better to give than to receive... especially when talking about bullets

Live for today but tomorrow never dies

The bigger they are, the harder they fall...when you shoot them


Don't take this the wrong way, but you're doing it wrong. It works better if you change the end of original saying, rather than adding something to the end. I'm just saying. :]
Image

Weird_Al
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby Weird_Al » Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:26 am UTC

my life philosophy is, dance like nobody's watching, work like you don't need the money, kill like there aren't laws against it.

have you ever had that dream where you sudenly find yourself in the school auditorium, everybody is watching you, you're completely naked and you go on a killing spree?



(all of these seem a bit dark now that I've written them down)

purpleriot
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby purpleriot » Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:02 pm UTC

madock345 wrote:Also: "If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s probably a well disguised bomb.


A rose is a rose is a bomb.

I have nothing to declare but war.

ElectriCom
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby ElectriCom » Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:29 pm UTC

When all you have is a hammer, it's hammer time.

lorb
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby lorb » Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:10 pm UTC

I always wonder .. why is Archimedes pronounced different in every language i know?

also: Those who live in glass houses shouldn't care much for their privacy.
Please be gracious in judging my english. (I am not a native speaker/writer.)
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KeithM
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Re: 0857: "Archimedes"

Postby KeithM » Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:15 pm UTC

This comic is only about as funny as this post.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.
"It is nothing short of a miracle that modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." - A.E.


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