Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

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Polar bears
34
55%
Tanks
28
45%
 
Total votes: 62

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notzeb
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Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby notzeb » Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:11 am UTC

Who would win?

To make the question more precise, imagine the polar bear and the tank (or maybe there are more than one of each?) start out pretty far away from each other, the tank pointing at the polar bear, the polar bear aware of the tank, and for some reason they are pissed at each other.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby tomtom2357 » Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:20 am UTC

How do you make those voting things anyway?
I have discovered a truly marvelous proof of this, which this margin is too narrow to contain.

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby EdgarJPublius » Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:20 am UTC

What sort of tank are we talking here? Water? Fuel? Septic? SCUBA? Is it filled, or is it just an empty tank?

Without more specifics there's just no way to know whether the tank would have a chance or not.

And what's the terrain like? There's not way any sort of tank could beat a polar bear on the Polar Bear's home turf (or ice floe as the case may be) so for it to be a fair fight we'd need to establish some sort of neutral terrain.

Oh, and is the Polar Bear a mother? And if so, is the tank tank between the bear and her cubs? That could further tip the balance towards the polar bear.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Evengeduld » Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:43 am UTC

I think the brown bear flying the airplane will win...
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby philsov » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:16 pm UTC

What sort of tank are we talking here? Water? Fuel? Septic? SCUBA? Is it filled, or is it just an empty tank?


A sherman?

If so, the polar bear wins for given terrain, where the ice is weak enough that the sherman will sink like the large chunk of iron that it is. However, "adequate cover" isn't much and there are some pretty impressive accurate numbers possible, especially with the more modern technology. The polarbear can swim for a little bit for cover but once it's on land/ice it's coke-drinking days are numbered.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Deva » Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:27 pm UTC

More questions.
1. Is anyone operating the tank? Or is the tank sentient?

2. How old is the polar bear?

3. Define "win". Does the tank lose after accumulating enough rust or running out of fuel? Assumes a polar bear loss due to old age.

4. Can they be friends?

5. Is the tank an armored vehicle, a car-chucking zombie, a person who captures a monster's attention, or something else?
Changes its form depending on the observer.

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Lostdreams » Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:56 pm UTC

I heard bears tank pretty well in a pinch.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby pseudoidiot » Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:03 pm UTC

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Magnanimous » Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:14 pm UTC

If this is in Skyrim, the polar bear definitely wins.

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Belial » Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:20 pm UTC

Is the polar bear armored?
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby fearless » Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:42 pm UTC

Oops, I voted before I read the post. I thought you meant which was cuter. Polar bears are adorable. :3

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Brace » Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:12 pm UTC

Is the polar bear being ridden by a Russian with an AK-47?
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby notzeb » Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:13 pm UTC

Unfortunately, no.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Menacing Spike » Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:36 am UTC

If this is a Red Alert style bear, the tank is utterly fucked.

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Van » Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:31 pm UTC

fearless wrote:Oops, I voted before I read the post. I thought you meant which was cuter. Polar bears are adorable. :3
"Which is cuter: bears or modern military tanks?" is amazing.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby UniqueScreenname » Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:44 pm UTC

Van wrote:
fearless wrote:Oops, I voted before I read the post. I thought you meant which was cuter. Polar bears are adorable. :3
"Which is cuter: bears or modern military tanks?" is amazing.

No, she was thinking of the tee-shirt tanks.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby fearless » Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:48 pm UTC

Or maybe I was thinking of fish in a tank :?:

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby TheMaskedGecko » Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:49 pm UTC

Almost completely irrelevant post (the best kind!). Despite my lack of looks, polar experience or acting skill, I once played someone who survives a polar bear attack in a documentary. I have yet to play someone who survives a tank rolling into their tent so I have little frame of reference.

That said polar bear wins long term. After footage of a US tank firing upon an endangered species (possibly during an illegal invasion to look for WMD's in the possession of Inuits) is uploaded to Youtube, Greenpeace and animal rights activists march on Washington in a calm, collected manner, demanding the immediate abolishment of all areas of the armed forces, leading humanity into a new age of peace and brotherhood, meaning that as a result the sacrifice one brave, white, cuddly vicious man-eating bear, every tank in the world is left to rust away.

Is that the right answer?
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Shivahn » Sat Jan 07, 2012 8:12 pm UTC

UniqueScreenname wrote:
Van wrote:
fearless wrote:Oops, I voted before I read the post. I thought you meant which was cuter. Polar bears are adorable. :3
"Which is cuter: bears or modern military tanks?" is amazing.

No, she was thinking of the tee-shirt tanks.

Van's interpretation is awesomest. If I had skill in art I would definitely make a comparison picture.

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby ve_ » Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:13 pm UTC

there you go
Image

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:29 am UTC

TheMaskedGecko wrote:After footage of a US tank firing upon an endangered species (possibly during an illegal invasion to look for WMD's in the possession of Inuits) is uploaded to Youtube, Greenpeace and animal rights activists march on Washington in a calm, collected manner, demanding the immediate abolishment of all areas of the armed forces, leading humanity into a new age of peace and brotherhood, meaning that as a result the sacrifice one brave, white, cuddly vicious man-eating bear, every tank in the world is left to rust away.

Is that the right answer?

No, because the people with the tanks just kill all the people trying to take their tanks away.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby You, sir, name? » Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:58 pm UTC

Where are they fighting? Polar bears are the clear winner in any sort of naval battle (where the tank just sinks to the bottom). But in desert combat, tanks are where I put my money.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby gfauxpas » Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:05 pm UTC

Deva wrote:More questions.
4. Can they be friends?


No

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby TimelordSimone » Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:10 am UTC

fearless wrote:Oops, I voted before I read the post. I thought you meant which was cuter. Polar bears are adorable. :3

I too voted before actually reading the question.
Not sure what I thought the question was, I just decided the answer was polar bears.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby UniqueScreenname » Mon Jan 09, 2012 1:23 am UTC

TheMaskedGecko wrote:Almost completely irrelevant post (the best kind!). Despite my lack of looks, polar experience or acting skill, I once played someone who survives a polar bear attack in a documentary. I have yet to play someone who survives a tank rolling into their tent so I have little frame of reference.

That said polar bear wins long term. After footage of a US tank firing upon an endangered species (possibly during an illegal invasion to look for WMD's in the possession of Inuits) is uploaded to Youtube, Greenpeace and animal rights activists march on Washington in a calm, collected manner, demanding the immediate abolishment of all areas of the armed forces, leading humanity into a new age of peace and brotherhood, meaning that as a result the sacrifice one brave, white, cuddly vicious man-eating bear, every tank in the world is left to rust away.

Is that the right answer?

This is amazing. Polar bears win in any situation.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby scienceroboticspunk » Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:40 am UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:Where are they fighting? Polar bears are the clear winner in any sort of naval battle (where the tank just sinks to the bottom). But in desert combat, tanks are where I put my money.

What if the tank has a snorkel?
Also a polar bear has some advantage in snowy climates.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:58 am UTC

When the location isn't specified, I assume it will be in the vacuum of space. That, or final destination and no items.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby TheMaskedGecko » Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:36 pm UTC

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote: No, because the people with the tanks just kill all the people trying to take their tanks away.

Damn, didn't think this through. Maybe we could hide all the keys to the tanks.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby poxic » Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:45 am UTC

People, people, people:

Polar bears IN tanks.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Menacing Spike » Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:16 pm UTC

Fool.

Tanks that shoot bears.

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby scarecrovv » Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:36 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:Fool.

Tanks that shoot bears.

Be careful what you wish for.
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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby Kang » Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:31 pm UTC

TheMaskedGecko wrote:[...]Greenpeace and animal rights activists march on Washington in a calm, collected manner, demanding the immediate abolishment of all areas of the armed forces, leading humanity into a new age of peace and brotherhood [...]

Now I apologise for this sounding like right-wing propaganda drivel, but I think they have a point with that one, so here goes with slight exaggeration: does that age of peace and brotherhood start right after laying down arms or do we have to wait the whole week that North Korea, Iran and those that don't make the news are busy taking over the world first?

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Re: Important question: polar bears, or tanks?

Postby TheMaskedGecko » Wed Jan 11, 2012 10:23 pm UTC

That's the problem with us westerners. We don't trust people. I'm sure that these places you mention wouldn't do anything as ungentlemanly as attacking an unarmed country. It just wouldn't be right.
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