Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Lawsome
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Lawsome » Sun Nov 11, 2012 5:30 pm UTC

Crown of Fire wrote:I'm scared to fall asleep... my mind over thinks absolutely everything I've done. Not that I've done a lot of things in my life that I consider bad, or that I have problems living with, it just will not shut off, ever. So I have to keep myself awake till my body basically shuts down. On the plus side I do a lot of reading, and lurking on the forums :D. Don't know how to solve this problem.

I had the same problem, it kinda just went away over time. Hold onto the knowledge that the fact that you worry about the bad things you have done makes you a better person, but at the same time try to view events as how they really are, inconsequential. As is always the case, you care far more about your actions than anyone else does.
Spoiler:
Image
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Rosewinsall wrote:DOWN WITH CERTAINTY!

Are you certain of that?

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Daimon » Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:32 pm UTC

.................
Last edited by Daimon on Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:50 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Angua » Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:51 pm UTC

So do I. My mother always had it that way because it's easier to rip off a piece with one hand.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby UniqueScreenname » Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:39 am UTC

I have no preference. Apparently that makes me less of a human.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Zarq » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:33 pm UTC

UniqueScreenname wrote:I have no preference. Apparently that makes me less of a human.


Over, under, roll on top of the tank, ... I don't give a fuck. As long as I have toilet paper.
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Tounx
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Tounx » Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:24 pm UTC

I'm afraid that my own fears are ruining my life.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Ptolom » Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:47 pm UTC

I just slept all day and I'm still tired.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Radical_Initiator » Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:49 pm UTC

Zarq wrote:
UniqueScreenname wrote:I have no preference. Apparently that makes me less of a human.


Over, under, roll on top of the tank, ... I don't give a fuck. As long as I have toilet paper.

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I looked out across the river today …

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NoodleIncident
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby NoodleIncident » Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:16 am UTC

I write posts to these forums in my head, then don't post them. Because... self esteem? Undiagnosed mental illness? I don't know.

I also do this in real-life conversations. And game design, and photoshop, and 90% of everything else I do. I come up with something to say or do, decide it's too much work/I'm not good enough, and just lurk.

I'm ashamed of how much effort it's taking to type this up and (hopefully) post it.



Also: I see myself slipping down the path towards "obese nerd living on cheetos, mt dew, and reddit at age 30". And I keep coming up with excuses to not exercise, eat healthier, make real friends, etc. And it's a little frightening.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Menacing Spike » Fri Nov 16, 2012 4:30 pm UTC

NoodleIncident wrote:I write posts to these forums in my head, then don't post them. Because... self esteem? Undiagnosed mental illness? I don't know.


I'm pretty sure that's fairly normal. "Not all my thoughts are worthy of being shared" should be a more widespread attitude (yes, I'm aware that charity starts at home, but eh).

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby maninblack » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:28 pm UTC

I just totally tried to find out what my wife got me for Christmas using our online banking information. The information only has paypal user names so that didn't really help me. I even spent a couple minutes trying to search ebay and amazon for those paypal users, but found nothing helpful. Second 'fess: I'm more disappointed by that than I expected.
addams wrote:It was like a game of Rugby and I was the Puck. Yeah. I was taking a beating and I was in the wrong game.
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If it's a philosophical one, I have no idea.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby pseudoidiot » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:48 pm UTC

When i was a kid I was pretty good about figuring out all of my gifts before Christmas. I'd go on a two-prong attack:

1. I'd raid my mom's dresser & jewelry box and anywhere else I thought she might use as a hiding place for receipts.
2. When I had time to myself I'd get a sharp knife & cut the tape at the ends of packages underneath the tree and slide the present out to see what's inside, then re-tape the wrapping paper.

I did this for years with my mom none the wiser. One year I apparently got a little sloppy with my re-taping and when Christmas day came I was opening presents that either had stuff I already owned or, in the case of at least one box, had some of my sister's stuff. I started to realize something was going on when finally I was asked "is there anything you want to tell us?"

I could tell i was caught, so I fessed up. They went and got the real presents after that. They were crafty, too. All the fake presents were pretty much the same size/shape/weight as the ones I'd peeked in making my surprise at what was in them 100% genuine.

Spoilered for enabling:
Spoiler:
The gift may not have been bought through eBay or Amazon. They may have their own private webstore or something. You could try just doing a Google search on the paypal address and see what you come up with.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby maninblack » Fri Dec 07, 2012 6:24 pm UTC

pseudoidiot wrote:Spoilered for enabling:
Spoiler:
The gift may not have been bought through eBay or Amazon. They may have their own private webstore or something. You could try just doing a Google search on the paypal address and see what you come up with.

I'm not sure if I should thank you or hate you.

I took your advice, and I think I figured out what she got me. :twisted: Now I have to wait knowing, and act surprised when I open it. Bah!
addams wrote:It was like a game of Rugby and I was the Puck. Yeah. I was taking a beating and I was in the wrong game.
roband wrote:If this is a serious question, the answer is no.
If it's a philosophical one, I have no idea.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby pseudoidiot » Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:18 pm UTC

My work here is done.
Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby SecondTalon » Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:35 am UTC

I just got good at shaking and weighing boxes. Even toys wrapped in clothes.
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heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby maninblack » Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:50 pm UTC

Well my present came in the mail today, and my guess fits the size/weight of the box :D .


Edit: We opened our Christmas Gifts early; I was right. She got me Hallmark Keepsake ornaments. One that I lost. Last year's, and this year's. I was slightly concerned that I would have to act excited or something, but when I opened them I literally burst into tears. ... It was a tradition that my Grandparents started with me when I was first born, and the tradition stopped after my grandma died. :cry: So yeah here's to being caught off guard by a present when you already know what it is.
addams wrote:It was like a game of Rugby and I was the Puck. Yeah. I was taking a beating and I was in the wrong game.
roband wrote:If this is a serious question, the answer is no.
If it's a philosophical one, I have no idea.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby I Am Raven » Tue Jan 01, 2013 1:00 pm UTC

She's got unicorns in her eyes.
I don't even know what that means, but her soul is ablaze with something I have never experienced before, and it is making me feel incredibly excited, yet it's terribly confusing at the same time. She's undoubtly the most wonderful, intelligent and beautiful creature I have stumbled across on my journey through this life, but even if she sees me even remotely likewise, she goes to university in another country. What is this cruel joke? It is of course, as always, of my own making. A great talent for repelling that which attracts me. Damn you, Raven! Why do you falter in the face of truth, what is the difference between her face, and that of a passerby? Are her lips redder, her eyes clearer, is her nose better shaped, her hair more golden? Possibly. Yet it did not matter before. Only of late have you started to avert her gaze, there where contact could have been made, finished conversations that, under regular circumstances, could have gone on till the break of dawn. Why do I pull away, when I want to get closer? I am too preoccupied with potential failure to even attempt, try, do anything. It is a fight that I cannot win, for it is not a fight.

I will lose.

But I must speak my mind, for none can simply read it. I will tell her how I feel.


EDIT: Think I'll just ask her out on a date and see how that goes. What the hell, Raven. Not everything is all or nothing all the time. Calm down.

EDIT2: Since nobody has posted anything else yet, I might as well just edit this in as well:
While I was gone from these fora (about a year) I discovered two (for me) very important things. The first one is that the solution to a problem doesn't really exist, there are only compromises. There is not really a correct way of dealing with things. There are options, and some of them suck less than the others, so you stick with that one.
The second one is that other people aren't just other people, they are individuals. They are a complete person, just as I am. Everybody is a "me" but a different one. That makes it a lot easier for me to understand their behavior.
Anybody alive here, anyway?
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raike
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby raike » Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:31 am UTC

Embarrassing confession: I spent the last two hours reading articles on T-Nation...

I Am Raven wrote:EDIT: Think I'll just ask her out on a date and see how that goes. What the hell, Raven. Not everything is all or nothing all the time. Calm down.
Anybody alive here, anyway?


I'd hope I'm alive. Beats being dead.

Unsolicited advice/comment:
Spoiler:
You kinda sound like me / your situation sounds vaguely similar (on the surface--the different country, the descriptors) to one I was in. You should definitely go for it! If only to avoid the irritating 'what-if' thoughts.
"When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt." - H.J. Kaiser
رات دن گردش میں ہیں سات آسماں
ہو رہیگا کچھ نہ کچھ گھبرائیں کیا
(غالب)

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NieXS
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby NieXS » Fri Jan 11, 2013 10:58 pm UTC

I often don't speak my mind because I'm afraid it'll cause conflict.
she/her


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RollingHead
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby RollingHead » Sat Jan 12, 2013 4:29 pm UTC

I sometimes lie about how hard I work because I'm afraid of seeming lazier than others, and I feel like I have no excuse for how tired I almost always feel.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby NecklaceOfShadow » Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:08 pm UTC

Depression? It does that.
Significantly less weird than I used to be. Still pretty weird.

οὗτός ἐστιν Ἀγαμέμνων, ἐμὸς
πόσις, νεκρὸς δὲ τῆσδε δεξιᾶς χερός
ἔργον δικαίας τέκτονος. τάδ’ ὧδ’ ἔχει.

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raike
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby raike » Wed Feb 13, 2013 3:26 am UTC

I've eaten mostly eggs, oatmeal, and toasted bread with butter, along with copious amounts of milk (upwards of two litres a day) for the past week and a half because I've not found the motivation to cook or the willingness to spend money outside.
"When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt." - H.J. Kaiser
رات دن گردش میں ہیں سات آسماں
ہو رہیگا کچھ نہ کچھ گھبرائیں کیا
(غالب)

dowmace
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby dowmace » Thu Feb 14, 2013 5:53 am UTC

First confession: I finally registered to post a confession I've lurking since well gosh it's been literal years since I guess my senior year of high school, good God that was 2005 what a slacker I am for not participating in community discussion, now I feel bad about that too :oops:


Second confession: Sometimes I think I feel like I'm being to complacent with death, I work a career that I am around hundreds of the deceased a day that are slated for cremation and it bothers me none that I don't know these peoples names or back stories or even what their cause of death might have been. Does that make me a bad person? I try to get through my days not thinking about death but to get my job task done without contacting the containers if possible.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby PolakoVoador » Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:09 pm UTC

First part: I should be working, not posting here (and I have important things to do)

Second part: I've recently changed to another job (in the same area: computer science), since I was really tired of the last one. Three months in this new job and I'm tired of it already. Now I'm filled with doubts about my career choice and I have no idea what I should do. Even if I choose to go for a different career, I still have no idea which one would it be.

Also, I'm having some strange urges to drop everything and travel to some random place really far away for some months.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby rath358 » Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:55 pm UTC

I am useless without my Adderall and I am afraid that it is the only reason that I have gotten anywhere in life. The me everyone else knows is the one on a really powerful drug. Without it, I am a useless angsty fuck-up. I can't even pay attention for two minutes in this lecture.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby dii » Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:17 pm UTC

I'm a former drug addict. I usually don't even want to talk about it to people who don't already know about it because I'm afraid they'd think of me differently. Also because it's a part of my life I'm trying to put behind me. In fact I might delete this post later.

Trying to get your life back on track after a sesquidecade of reckless self destruction is hard. And yes, I confess I only wrote this the previous sentence so I'd get to use the word "sesquidecade".

I'm trying to get back to studying, which is probably going to be fun to be in a school where most students are about half my age. I feel like I'm older than I feel. I don't feel like I'm 30 years old, I should be able to rewind my legal age back to about 22 or so. Why isn't this possible? Who designed life so shittily? Can I audit the source code of life please?

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby emceng » Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:39 pm UTC

My sister gave me a kitten for Christmas, and I really didn't want one then. I still don't. He's cute, but he attacks my other cat all the damn time, and they're fighting on my bed when I'm trying to sleep. He's starting digging at the covers like he's trying to dig a hole, which also wakes me. Plus, he isn't cuddly. He'll sleep with me on my bed, but almost never wants to be in my lap at any other point. He'll sleep nearby, but that's not the same at all.
When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. - CS Lewis

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:28 pm UTC

emceng wrote:My sister gave me a kitten for Christmas

Your sister is the worst sort of person. You should give her a toddler next year.
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Eseell
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Eseell » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:48 pm UTC

I think that sort of thing is frowned upon among siblings in most states.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Menacing Spike » Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:22 pm UTC

Some context: I'm ridiculously tall. "Can't fit door frames" tall. Usually this is an inconvenience. But not always: this brings us to the confession.

Sometimes, when taking a corner, I end up face-to-belly with tiny people. Invariably, as I tower over them, they fleetingly assume some kind of terrified rodent expression.

Now I should feel bad about it, but instead find it really funny and it gives me a pleasant feeling of power.

(interestingly, that kind of fear seems to only occur at very close range)

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Zarq » Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:31 pm UTC

I've been doing some thinking*, and I've to the conclusion that I think that a man who leaves his newborn child (aka a 'deadbeat' dad) is morally equivalent to a mother who gives up her newborn baby for adoption.

*I think about this subject way to much. Pretty sure it qualifies as a phobia.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Feb 28, 2013 5:33 pm UTC

Disagree.

Regardless of the Wanting/Not Wanting status of the mother, when an infant ends up in adoption the assumption is always that the child will end up in the hands of someone better suited to raising the child. The welfare of the child is now placed into the hands of an institution with funding, possibly state funding, and staff and so on. There is a reasonable assumption that the kid will end up in a more or less average home.

With the deadbeat dad scenario, the assumption is that the mother will figure it out on her own. The welfare of the child is in the hands of one person. The only reasonable assumption you can make is that there will be a mother and kid.

Now, there are caveats to that, of course - dude knocks up chick, chick and dude split, chick meets person with a couple of million in the bank and gets hitched, dude works part time at a gas station.... okay, kid's probably going to be alright. But the welfare of the child is still in the chick's hands. Should her and the person split, person isn't necessarily going to continue financial support without a court order, and a court order may not be possible. All things that dude cannot reasonably assume will happen. He can reasonably assume that chick is going to be responsible for a kid until her or kid's death.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Zarq » Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:46 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Disagree.

Regardless of the Wanting/Not Wanting status of the mother, when an infant ends up in adoption the assumption is always that the child will end up in the hands of someone better suited to raising the child. The welfare of the child is now placed into the hands of an institution with funding, possibly state funding, and staff and so on. There is a reasonable assumption that the kid will end up in a more or less average home.

With the deadbeat dad scenario, the assumption is that the mother will figure it out on her own. The welfare of the child is in the hands of one person. The only reasonable assumption you can make is that there will be a mother and kid.

Now, there are caveats to that, of course - dude knocks up chick, chick and dude split, chick meets person with a couple of million in the bank and gets hitched, dude works part time at a gas station.... okay, kid's probably going to be alright. But the welfare of the child is still in the chick's hands. Should her and the person split, person isn't necessarily going to continue financial support without a court order, and a court order may not be possible. All things that dude cannot reasonably assume will happen. He can reasonably assume that chick is going to be responsible for a kid until her or kid's death.


I wasn't really speaking of the child support part. "Deadbeat" was not a 100% good choice. Let's assume the dad pays his child support. I was talking about the "not wanting to be there in other ways than financially", which a lot of people still think is morally reprehensible.

But even then your point might still stand. I dunno. It's difficult. I'm trying to figure out a way/justification where in case of an unplanned pregnancy where the mother wants to keep the child, the dad's responsibilities and obligations (financial or other) aren't chosen for him. But I'm not sure if it's possible.

But yeah, in case you haven't realized: 'fess: I'm terribly afraid of accidentally getting stuck partly responsible for a kid. 2 in 100 is not a small chance, damn it! That's 50% when you extrapolate it over 30 years!
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby dii » Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:43 am UTC

Zarq wrote:But yeah, in case you haven't realized: 'fess: I'm terribly afraid of accidentally getting stuck partly responsible for a kid.


Dude, there's a very simple and easy way to prevent that from happening.

It begins with the letter "A".

Do you guess yet?

Spoiler:
Anal sex.

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Zarq
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Zarq » Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:46 am UTC

I would've guessed the more general "abstaining from PIV sex", which is something I've actively started to contemplate.
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Eseell » Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:02 am UTC

Eh, that's the reason that I personally didn't pursue sexual relationships until I was financially stable; if an accidental pregnancy did happen, then I wanted to at least not have myself and another person up shit creek for several years. That's a pretty extreme position to take because the actual risk of accidental pregnancy is ridiculously low if you're smart and careful, but I'm weird.
"Math is hard work and it occupies your mind -- and it doesn't hurt to learn all you can of it, no matter what rank you are; everything of any importance is founded on mathematics." - Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby dii » Fri Mar 01, 2013 7:06 am UTC

Zarq wrote:I would've guessed the more general "abstaining


Dude, that was the joke...

But seriously, if it worries you that much, get a vasectomy. They can pretty surely get it reversed if needed (and if not, there's always sperm banks).

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby Zarq » Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:55 pm UTC

dii wrote:
Zarq wrote:I would've guessed the more general "abstaining


Dude, that was the joke...

But seriously, if it worries you that much, get a vasectomy. They can pretty surely get it reversed if needed (and if not, there's always sperm banks).


Thinking about it, but
a) I'm still in college so it isn't really the ideal time
b) the horror stories of botched ones kinda scare me
You rang?

"It is better to shit yourself, than to die of constipation." - Some picture on reddit

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SecondTalon
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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Mar 01, 2013 2:46 pm UTC

Zarq wrote:I wasn't really speaking of the child support part. "Deadbeat" was not a 100% good choice. Let's assume the dad pays his child support. I was talking about the "not wanting to be there in other ways than financially", which a lot of people still think is morally reprehensible.
Oh!

... yeah, that's pretty similar there, then.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Postby JayDee » Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:18 am UTC

Confession: I couldn't stay away if I tried.

Page 928 of 949? Lots of unread posts. Sorry guys and gals and such.
The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:I believe that everything can and must be joked about.
Hawknc wrote:I like to think that he hasn't left, he's just finally completed his foe list.


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