The Order of the Knights Temporal, long believed the most staunch and sacred defenders of Time, have fallen to apostasy, heresy, and obscenity! We have the sworn testimony1 of several members of the Order that they have hosted secret4 rituals inducting members into the heretical Order in a manner contrary to the Command of Time! These apostates have received their title from "future selves" rather than--yes! I know it is shocking!--rather than waiting for it and joining the Order in proper Time.
I fear that there is little choice put to purge the Order with flame.6
1 Well, it's not really sworn exactly.2
2 But at least we didn't coerce confessions with torture this time.3
3 Mostly because it's really hard to torture people on a forum. What are you going to do, link them Youtube clips of Nicolas Cage films or something?
4 Okay, they weren't really secret. You can just go back and read them on earlier pages.5
5 Which is probably worse!!!
6 Actually, we don't seem to have any flame at the moment, so we may have to purge the Order with semenatedcancerbabyicedcoffee instead.
7 Reading unreferenced footnotes also fails to respect Time. Repent, heretics, lest an Inquisition8 come.
8 It's okay to expect this one, as it isn't Spanish.