In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Jul 29, 2015 12:20 am UTC

Whizbang wrote:I have seen on other discussions of this forum where arguments in the form of "X is worse than Y so we shouldn't stop Y until we stop X" get soundly ridiculed by all and sundry. Please explain how this situation is different.


Because it's obvious that the people calling for the removal of Thing X are not doing it because of Good Reason A, but rather Horrible Reason B, because if they actually believe in Reason A over B they wouldn't call for only the removal of Thing X and not Thing Y.


Imagine a country made up of ethnic stereotypes when it comes to drugs and so forth. Poor working-class Irish people drink beer exclusively. Rich WASPS in control of the country drink wine exclusively. The country has a history of abusing the Irish. If the country issued a ban on beer, but not wine, would you assume that this is because the people in charge actually believe beer is bad but wine is fine, or that they were doing it because they hate the Irish?

Incidentally, this is what happened during Prohibition; wine was given an exception because rich people drank it, but beer, cider and liquors were banned. Marijuana is banned because it's an Hispanic drug, Opium because it's Chinese, but alcohol is legal and it so happens to be more White than the other drugs. Crack is Black and Coke is White, and while they are the same drug, guess which one has the harsher penalties for possession?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Whizbang » Wed Jul 29, 2015 12:22 am UTC

Good enough for me.

Thanks.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Wed Jul 29, 2015 4:20 am UTC

So, if using stun guns is so wonderfully humane...why don't we execute criminals with them, instead of injecting them with stuff that leaves them writhing in pain for 45 minutes and moaning "This shit is fucking with my head?", unquote?

(Actually, the SCOTUS answered that one last month: Because we want to simultaneously claim that capital punishment is NOT NOT NOT cruel and unusual, and yet we want the process to be horrifically unpleasant. I guess it's honest to admit that making executions more humane would conflict with their inherent barbarity.)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Wed Jul 29, 2015 7:12 am UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:So, if using stun guns is so wonderfully humane...why don't we execute criminals with them, instead of injecting them with stuff that leaves them writhing in pain for 45 minutes and moaning "This shit is fucking with my head?", unquote?

(Actually, the SCOTUS answered that one last month: Because we want to simultaneously claim that capital punishment is NOT NOT NOT cruel and unusual, and yet we want the process to be horrifically unpleasant. I guess it's honest to admit that making executions more humane would conflict with their inherent barbarity.)


Also because (twerking your phrasing), "We want to simultaneously claim that capital punishment is NOT NOT NOT about revenge, and yet we want the process to be viscerally satisfying revenge.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby solune » Wed Jul 29, 2015 12:32 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:So, if using stun guns is so wonderfully humane...why don't we execute criminals with them, instead of injecting them with stuff that leaves them writhing in pain for 45 minutes and moaning "This shit is fucking with my head?", unquote?


What I don't understand is why in a state that has more guns than the average couldn't someone just take their sidearm out and shoot him in the head. This is a method that has been proven to kill someone fast and reliably...

RE: the evaluation of pain
I'm always dubious of these studies because they generally define pain as either a concentration of stressful hormones or the firing of a lot of pain neurons at once. I empathise very well with injured trees, which have neither of those.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby elasto » Wed Jul 29, 2015 1:40 pm UTC

Saw a documentary once where they explored the most humane ways to carry out the death penalty. Turns out the best method is hypoxia via breathing a pure noble gas (it's high CO2 levels in the blood that are subjectively experienced as painful, not low O2 levels.)

Not only is this death not cruel, it is in fact mildly euphoric. This is easily proved by taking people to the point of unconsciousness, observing them and asking them how they felt afterwards.

This outraged the pro death penalty campaigners interviewed - who seemed to regard anything less than a painful death as unjust - and many even voiced the opinion that the current methods were not torturous enough.

Ah well, one day humanity will evolve beyond needing this eye-for-a-eye revenge.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Echo244 » Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:19 pm UTC

elasto wrote:Saw a documentary once where they explored the most humane ways to carry out the death penalty. Turns out the best method is hypoxia via breathing a pure noble gas (it's high CO2 levels in the blood that are subjectively experienced as painful, not low O2 levels.)

Not only is this death not cruel, it is in fact mildly euphoric. This is easily proved by taking people to the point of unconsciousness, observing them and asking them how they felt afterwards.

This outraged the pro death penalty campaigners interviewed - who seemed to regard anything less than a painful death as unjust - and many even voiced the opinion that the current methods were not torturous enough.


A BBC Horizons documentary presented by Michael Portillo? Sounds familiar.

Mind you, iirc he threw out several ideas because they'd be too messy even if they were quick and relatively painless. Then he came up with hypoxia, presented it to (just one, again iirc) death penalty advocate and got the "Hell no! I want 'em to suffer!" response. I wonder if he'd get a different one now, what with all the difficulties in getting the required drugs for lethal injections, or if he consulted a range of viewpoints within a nation with the death penalty...
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:38 pm UTC

solune wrote:What I don't understand is why in a state that has more guns than the average couldn't someone just take their sidearm out and shoot him in the head. This is a method that has been proven to kill someone fast and reliably...


Yep. Utah passed a law last March authorizing firing squad executions. Wyoming came close.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby PeteP » Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:41 pm UTC

How about destroying their head with a head sized high speed projectile. Should be so fast that they can't feel it and maybe that it looks gruesome can be used to make it palatable to the revenge people.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Whizbang » Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:45 pm UTC

I vote we clone them up and make them fight their clones in a death-match where the victor gets to go free.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Wed Jul 29, 2015 3:10 pm UTC

In other news...I LOL'ed at this headline in this morning's WSJ:

NFL Calls Brady on Destroyed Phone

(The link is subscriber-only, so I'll now belabor the pun by explaining that the National Football League has upheld the suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, in part because he destroyed a phone that presumably contained evidence that he colluded with others to deflate some official game footballs, and so gain an unfair advantage over opponents.)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Whizbang » Wed Jul 29, 2015 3:13 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:In other news...I LOL'ed at this headline in this morning's WSJ:

NFL Calls Brady on Destroyed Phone

(The link is subscriber-only, so I'll now belabor the pun by explaining that the National Football League has upheld the suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, in part because he destroyed a phone that presumably contained evidence that he colluded with others to deflate some official game footballs, and so gain an unfair advantage over opponents.)


Tom Brady's Facebook post a few hours ago:

Tom Brady wrote:
Spoiler:
I am very disappointed by the NFL’s decision to uphold the 4 game suspension against me. I did nothing wrong, and no one in the Patriots organization did either.
Despite submitting to hours of testimony over the past 6 months, it is disappointing that the Commissioner upheld my suspension based upon a standard that it was “probable” that I was “generally aware” of misconduct. The fact is that neither I, nor any equipment person, did anything of which we have been accused. He dismissed my hours of testimony and it is disappointing that he found it unreliable.
I also disagree with yesterdays narrative surrounding my cellphone. I replaced my broken Samsung phone with a new iPhone 6 AFTER my attorneys made it clear to the NFL that my actual phone device would not be subjected to investigation under ANY circumstances. As a member of a union, I was under no obligation to set a new precedent going forward, nor was I made aware at any time during Mr. Wells investigation, that failing to subject my cell phone to investigation would result in ANY discipline.
Most importantly, I have never written, texted, emailed to anybody at anytime, anything related to football air pressure before this issue was raised at the AFC Championship game in January. To suggest that I destroyed a phone to avoid giving the NFL information it requested is completely wrong.
To try and reconcile the record and fully cooperate with the investigation after I was disciplined in May, we turned over detailed pages of cell phone records and all of the emails that Mr. Wells requested. We even contacted the phone company to see if there was any possible way we could retrieve any/all of the actual text messages from my old phone. In short, we exhausted every possibility to give the NFL everything we could and offered to go thru the identity for every text and phone call during the relevant time. Regardless, the NFL knows that Mr. Wells already had ALL relevant communications with Patriots personnel that either Mr. Wells saw or that I was questioned about in my appeal hearing. There is no “smoking gun” and this controversy is manufactured to distract from the fact they have zero evidence of wrongdoing.
I authorized the NFLPA to make a settlement offer to the NFL so that we could avoid going to court and put this inconsequential issue behind us as we move forward into this season. The discipline was upheld without any counter offer. I respect the Commissioners authority, but he also has to respect the CBA and my rights as a private citizen. I will not allow my unfair discipline to become a precedent for other NFL players without a fight.
Lastly, I am overwhelmed and humbled by the support of family, friends and our fans who have supported me since the false accusations were made after the AFC Championship game. I look forward to the opportunity to resume playing with my teammates and winning more games for the New England Patriots.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mambrino » Wed Jul 29, 2015 4:20 pm UTC

PeteP wrote:How about destroying their head with a head sized high speed projectile. Should be so fast that they can't feel it and maybe that it looks gruesome can be used to make it palatable to the revenge people.


I'd imagine that would just pulverize the head. Maybe more. Smaller projectile would suffice fine and the damaged head would be still semi-recognizable as a human body part, which would make for a more gruesome effect. Even regular bullets may produce quite nasty-looking head wounds, I believe.

However, a way of removing life from body that unnecessarily mutilates the body in process might be considered extra torture to the relatives of the deceased. It probably wouldn't make any difference (physical pain wise) to the person-to-be-killed even if you would detonate a largish grenade in their immediate vicinity, but not having a proper body for burial is quite sadistic thing to do the people. Who would be exactly being punished?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Wed Jul 29, 2015 6:22 pm UTC

PeteP wrote:How about destroying their head with a head sized high speed projectile. Should be so fast that they can't feel it and maybe that it looks gruesome can be used to make it palatable to the revenge people.


North Korea had a similar idea. They used an anti-aircraft gun. And from what it sounds like, USA pro-death people would have an issue with that not being torturous and barbaric enough.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Wed Jul 29, 2015 7:43 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:
PeteP wrote:How about destroying their head with a head sized high speed projectile. Should be so fast that they can't feel it and maybe that it looks gruesome can be used to make it palatable to the revenge people.


North Korea had a similar idea. They used an anti-aircraft gun. And from what it sounds like, USA pro-death people would have an issue with that not being torturous and barbaric enough.

Absolutely. Because, as I noted, pro-death people expect the penalty to be viscerally satisfying revenge.

Every time the question of a painless method of execution is raised, there is immediate, vociferous, opposition. Death penalty supporters do not want it to be painless; the convict must suffer, to atone. Which is makes it unquestionably revenge...but if you accuse the supporters of wanting revenge, they always deny it.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby mathmannix » Wed Jul 29, 2015 8:23 pm UTC

Meh. I support the death penalty, but I neither think the manner of execution should be needlessly horrific, nor needlessly painless. Really, whatever method is reasonably quick, reliable, and cost-effective is fine with me. But making sure people are comfortable as you kill them? That's like giving them a last meal of lobster tail. Not really much of a point, just adding to the taxpayer's expense. Shooting is pretty reliable if you have trained marksmen, and a firing squad has the advantage that no particular person has to bear the guilt of knowing they were the executioner. It gets my vote.

EDIT: say, what thread is this again? How about some humor now?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bentheimmigrant » Wed Jul 29, 2015 9:19 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I vote we clone them up and make them fight their clones in a death-match where the victor gets to go free.

Teleport them, by reproducing and destroying the original. Everybody gets what they want, including internet philosophy trolls.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby firechicago » Wed Jul 29, 2015 11:06 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:(The link is subscriber-only, so I'll now belabor the pun by explaining that the National Football League has upheld the suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, in part because he destroyed a phone that presumably contained evidence that he colluded with others to deflate some official game footballs, and so gain an unfair advantage over opponents.)

I'm shocked that when Roger Goodell's decision was appealed to Roger Goodell, Roger Goodell decided to uphold the judgment of Roger Goodell.

(Seriously, whether you think Tom Brady was railroaded or he's cheatingest cheater who ever cheated, this "appeals" process has been a joke.)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Thu Jul 30, 2015 2:30 am UTC

firechicago wrote:
ObsessoMom wrote:(The link is subscriber-only, so I'll now belabor the pun by explaining that the National Football League has upheld the suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, in part because he destroyed a phone that presumably contained evidence that he colluded with others to deflate some official game footballs, and so gain an unfair advantage over opponents.)

I'm shocked that when Roger Goodell's decision was appealed to Roger Goodell, Roger Goodell decided to uphold the judgment of Roger Goodell.

(Seriously, whether you think Tom Brady was railroaded or he's cheatingest cheater who ever cheated, this "appeals" process has been a joke.)


It's called "royalty" (if benevolent; or "despotism" if not so much). The King decides, the appeal is to the King, the King decides to uphold the judgement of the King. Royalty is efficient: no need for appeals courts, a Supreme Court or any risk of the King's decision being overturned. The King's decision is always good; if you think it isn't, see the first part of the sentence.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Thesh » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:08 am UTC

Yay, debt ceiling debate coming up again. Stupidest government policy ever.

http://money.cnn.com/2015/07/29/news/ec ... t-ceiling/

And of course, we have an election coming up is that now we have to talk about how to completely change social security because of purely legal and political, but not economic reasons.

http://thehill.com/policy/finance/24881 ... cy-by-2034

The worst part about the debt ceiling, and all national debt debate, is that it covers both intragovernmental debt and debt held by the public. The Social Security trust fund is the largest part of that debt, but it's idiotic to include it because it doesn't matter at all when it comes to the national debt. Literally, the only thing the social security trust fund exists for is an accounting tool so that we can say that social security is paid for 100% by the social security tax. It's not "future" debt as some people claim (debt held by the public is overall deficit over time, regardless of what the social security trust fund does), it's not money in the bank, it's just an accounting tool. The only reason we will have a problem paying for social security when the trust fund runs out in the future is that law that says social security must be paid for by the social security tax- if we changed that law, it would have absolutely no effect on our economy or budget but would allow us to pay out social security checks.

Here's the dumbest part about it: Let's say we raised social security taxes by 800 billion dollars, and did nothing else different, and there were no economic consequences to that tax; the US would run a $200-$300 billion dollar budget surplus, but national debt would continue to increase if you included intragovernmental debt. You could get rid of all taxes except social security, but raise 4 trillion in Social Security taxes, and our national debt would grow by something like 3.1 trillion a year on a 3.8 trillion dollar budget - and you could do this indefinitely, eliminating the debt held by the public completely (and shrinking the money supply significantly). Alternatively, you can change the law, allow social security to be paid from the general fund, and have payroll taxes go to the general fund, and you could pay down over 2 trillion dollars worth of debt in the next few years, with absolutely no economic consequences or changes to the budget and without affecting our ability to pay for social security in the future.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Chen » Thu Jul 30, 2015 2:05 pm UTC

Coyne wrote:Absolutely. Because, as I noted, pro-death people expect the penalty to be viscerally satisfying revenge.

Every time the question of a painless method of execution is raised, there is immediate, vociferous, opposition. Death penalty supporters do not want it to be painless; the convict must suffer, to atone. Which is makes it unquestionably revenge...but if you accuse the supporters of wanting revenge, they always deny it.


Where is this coming from? All the opposition to the Oklahoma bill to use Nitrogen asphyxia seemed to be coming from the anti-death penalty supporters basically saying that it was untested and they weren't sure it would kill people painlessly and such.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby solune » Thu Jul 30, 2015 4:23 pm UTC

Coyne wrote:but if you accuse the supporters of wanting revenge, they always deny it.


For the record, I don't deny it. My understanding of the justice system is that the citizens delegate to the goverment their right of revenge, which allows for fairer and less random punishments than if the mob did it.
The educative and deterent justifications came much later in history.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Chen » Fri Jul 31, 2015 5:44 pm UTC

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015 ... -charities

Well that's a surprising result. I'm finding it hard to believe the government can simply decide to make that kind of decision regarding someone's will. I mean it's not even like the will was illegal or anything. Purely "well the daughter needs money, so we'll give her some from the estate of the dead mother, despite the mother explicitly not wanting her to get any".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Coyne » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:13 pm UTC

Chen wrote:Daughter wins £164,000 after decade-long legal battle over will with charities

Well that's a surprising result. I'm finding it hard to believe the government can simply decide to make that kind of decision regarding someone's will. I mean it's not even like the will was illegal or anything. Purely "well the daughter needs money, so we'll give her some from the estate of the dead mother, despite the mother explicitly not wanting her to get any".


Disinheriting someone is not easy
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby solune » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:26 pm UTC

Chen wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jul/28/daughter-wins-164000-decade-long-legal-battle-mother-will-charities

Well that's a surprising result. I'm finding it hard to believe the government can simply decide to make that kind of decision regarding someone's will. I mean it's not even like the will was illegal or anything. Purely "well the daughter needs money, so we'll give her some from the estate of the dead mother, despite the mother explicitly not wanting her to get any".


Well, I'm in favour of a 100% inheritance tax, so I would generally side with the mother. However it seems that her pettiness started when the daughter was 17, an age were it is crucial to have a parent's support if you are to get a proper education, so I guess she's partly responsible of her daughter's poverty.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Grop » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:33 pm UTC

Also who will do much about defending their right to disown their children?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby sardia » Sat Aug 01, 2015 1:03 am UTC

Edit: stupid auto correct.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Krealr » Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:00 pm UTC

Apparently Armadillo's are bullet proof. (ok not quite) http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-33748027

Man shoots at armadillo, bullet ricochets off it's shell and hit's the man in the head. (he lived)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Angua » Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:01 pm UTC

The armadillo died though.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:34 am UTC

This qualifies for funny news. It is very funny, to me, so far.
It's important to know, shooting at armadillo it is like shooting a living rock.

Injuries by gunshot via armadillo are common. That is News to me.
It seems the way to safely hunt armadillo is the tried and true method; By Truck.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Mutex » Sun Aug 02, 2015 8:44 am UTC

addams wrote:Injuries by gunshot via armadillo are common.


I definitely remember hearing almost exactly this story happening before.

Why would anyone shoot an armadillo, it's not like they pose a threat or anything.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:55 am UTC

Good question.
Hunted by Truck made sense.

Why do people hunt armadillo?
Does the meat taste good?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Sun Aug 02, 2015 12:28 pm UTC

addams wrote:Why do people hunt armadillo?
Does the meat taste good?


Probably the same reason some people intentionally hit turtles crossing the road, or go trophy hunting. A pathetic need to feel powerful.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby morriswalters » Sun Aug 02, 2015 1:56 pm UTC

They are a vector for leprosy.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby ObsessoMom » Sun Aug 02, 2015 2:23 pm UTC

True, but...

it looks like armadillos are the real victims here. Scientists believe that we actually transmitted leprosy to them about 400 to 500 years ago. Today, up to 20 percent of some armadillo populations are thought to be infected. At least, according to one researcher at the National Hansen’s Disease Program in Baton Rouge, the critters rarely live long enough to be seriously affected by the disease’s symptoms.

Experts say the easiest way to avoid contagion is to simply avoid unnecessary contact with the critters. And, of course, they advise not to go hunting, skinning or eating them (which is a rule the armadillos would probably appreciate, too).


Full article: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-new ... 40/?no-ist

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby krogoth » Sun Aug 02, 2015 11:19 pm UTC

Makes me wonder if we have an obligation to try cure them, (if possible).

We already are looking into a face cancer thing Tasmanian devils have that may be risking their life. There are tons of things we are trying to repair that we caused. Rinos with camera's in their horns, rebreeding up populations of tons of animals ect.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Mon Aug 03, 2015 4:00 am UTC

Treating them might be a nice thing to do.
The article says, they don't live long enough to be bothered by the disease.

How do we know they are not bothered?
Armadillo are cute enough. But, not smart.

I believe they are not freaked out by knowing they have leprosy.
I'm not cute like an armadillo. I'm smart enough to be freaked out.

I know we have a reservoir for Hanson's Disease when Mad Max comes true.
(shrug) When Mad Max comes true, Hanson's will not be our biggest problem.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Djehutynakht » Thu Aug 06, 2015 8:55 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:
addams wrote:Why do people hunt armadillo?
Does the meat taste good?


Probably the same reason some people intentionally hit turtles crossing the road



This reminds me of a documentary on the Cane Toad I once watched, where one guy would purposefully go out of his way, swerving all over the highway, to hit any toad that happened to be on it.

Of course, killing Cane Toads was no big deal because invasive species in Australia and all.

Here we go.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Tyndmyr » Fri Aug 07, 2015 4:16 pm UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:
addams wrote:Why do people hunt armadillo?
Does the meat taste good?


Probably the same reason some people intentionally hit turtles crossing the road, or go trophy hunting. A pathetic need to feel powerful.


Uh, you hit turtles if you live in an area with snapping turtles because snapping turtles are the worst.

Or at least, I rank baby ducklings as way higher than snapping turtles in things I care about. So yeah, I'll swerve to kill a snapper.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby existential_elevator » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:43 am UTC

This has been going round: http://benjaminmillam.com/cat-geek/monkey-the-cat-hunts-for-dinner/

It makes me happy because geekery + cat psychology


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