1567: "Kitchen Tips"

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eidako
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1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby eidako » Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:16 am UTC

Image
Alt: "Household tip: Tired of buying so much toilet paper? Try unspooling the paper from the roll before using it. A single roll can last for multiple days that way, and it's much easier on your plumbing."

If you're anything like me, you press F5 on xkcd.com every thirty seconds. Try subscribing to the RSS feed, you won't believe how much money you'll save on replacement keyboards.

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rhomboidal
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby rhomboidal » Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:22 am UTC

Super useful. But is there a tip for disposing of garbage better? It's so hard and costly jackhammering a trashcan into the garbage disposal every week.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby SAI Peregrinus » Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:23 am UTC

If you're anything like me you find swallowing food difficult and painful. Try "chewing" it first!

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby ps.02 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:02 am UTC

Did you know you can microwave something for more than 9 seconds? Simply press the number buttons, one after another, as though you were writing out a number from left to right. (This also explains why there is a "0" button, which you've probably wondered about.)

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Plasma_Wolf » Fri Aug 21, 2015 6:15 am UTC

Wear these handy things called "oven mitts" when you take something out of the oven. You won't believe how many trips to A&E will be spared!

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Eebster the Great
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Eebster the Great » Fri Aug 21, 2015 6:29 am UTC

Plasma_Wolf wrote:Wear these handy things called "oven mitts" when you take something out of the oven. You won't believe how many trips to A&E will be spared!

? And Emergency?

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby biohazard » Fri Aug 21, 2015 6:40 am UTC

Eebster the Great wrote:
Plasma_Wolf wrote:Wear these handy things called "oven mitts" when you take something out of the oven. You won't believe how many trips to A&E will be spared!

? And Emergency?


accident? just a guess

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby sfmans » Fri Aug 21, 2015 6:53 am UTC

This is the first xkcd in a while that has just made me giggle.

I love the alternative reality and/or angry logic ones, but the occasional silly one is always welcome.

Yes, I'm that shallow an xkcd reader :D

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alvinhochun
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby alvinhochun » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:03 am UTC

If you're anything like me, your desktop is full of crap. Instead of throwing every file on the desktop, try using folders!

If you're anything like me, your desktop is full of crap. Instead of throwing your clothes all over it, try using a closet!

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keithl
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby keithl » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:24 am UTC

If you are anything like me, you are wondering why cakes made from box mix are more crunchy than cakes from the bakery. But if you take the mix out of the box before you blend it, and take the eggs out of the shells, cardboard and shell fragments do not get stuck in your teeth.

Also, pour the water OUT of the cup, don't blend the cup, too. Recipes often call for folding. I don't know what you are supposed to fold, if not the cardboard of the box, but I'm sure an expert kitchen mechanic can tell us what to do, what tool to do it with, and where to find that tool at Home Depot.

Perhaps Home Depot has something smaller than a rental concrete mixer for making cakes. When I ask, they laugh and rent me the biggest tools they have. The Vermeer wood chipper makes carrot slices very fast, but I had to cut a hole in the wall to back it into my kitchen. They rented me a nice chainsaw for that. It is good that all these tools are gasoline powered, because the chainsaw made a lot of sparks when it cut through the power conduit, then the house went dark. I had dinner last night by blowtorch light.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Eternal Density » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:34 am UTC

Wow, the first one was just serious enough to make everything else that much more hilarious.

If you're anything like me, you regularly ask your mother or sister whether you're cooking things the right way even though you could probably figure out out fine on your own.
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby squonk » Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:07 am UTC

If you're anything like me, you creep me out.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby speising » Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:38 am UTC

If you're anything like me, you desperately wait for the promised better way to make ice.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:40 am UTC

if you're anything like me, you're one of the rare human beings who vaguely deserves to live
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby HES » Fri Aug 21, 2015 9:15 am UTC

biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Flumble » Fri Aug 21, 2015 9:36 am UTC

If you're anything like me, please contact me so we can form a group for world domination.

HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

As in 'ER Majesty?

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby chrisjwmartin » Fri Aug 21, 2015 9:46 am UTC

Flumble wrote:
HES wrote:Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

As in 'ER Majesty?

As in "Elizabeth Regina".

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Rombobjörn » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:11 am UTC

speising wrote:If you're anything like me, you desperately wait for the promised better way to make ice.

I'm like you then. Do you think we'll find out on Monday? Cliffhangers are otherwise fairly rare in XKCD.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Tub » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:18 am UTC

The ice trick is to push your refridgerator over. When it's upright, all that water will seep right back out and you need to be really quick slamming the door shut. But when it's lying on its back, you can take your time, easily filling it to the brim with water.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Eebster the Great » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:27 am UTC

HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

Aren't accidents just examples of emergencies? (At least the ones you would go to the hospital for?)

Maybe it's one of those redundant legal doublets like "null and void."

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby speising » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:53 am UTC

Americans call it "emergency room". as if there was any doubt that it isn't open air.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:02 am UTC

Eebster the Great wrote:
HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

Aren't accidents just examples of emergencies? (At least the ones you would go to the hospital for?)

Maybe it's one of those redundant legal doublets like "null and void."

"The guy that stuck my left foot in the woodchipper didn't do it by accident. He wanted answers I wasn't prepared to give. Neither was it an accident that I stuck his head in the same chipper. Still I need some assistance, or at least a roll of duckttape."

It's "Afdeling Spoedeisende hulp" in the Netherlands, but it is more commonly called "EHBO". EHBO stands for "Eerste Hulp Bij Ongelukken" or "first aid in case of an accident".
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:12 am UTC

ps.02 wrote:Did you know you can microwave something for more than 9 seconds? Simply press the number buttons, one after another, as though you were writing out a number from left to right. (This also explains why there is a "0" button, which you've probably wondered about.)


On the "actually true" side, didja know that you can punch in "99" and the microwave will run for 99 seconds? You've just saved a keystroke compared with punching in "1:39" :P
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby cellocgw » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:14 am UTC

HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.


Little Known Fact: here in the US and A, there are no "Emergency Rooms." THey are ED, for Emergency Department. Popular lore and TV show titles notwithstanding.
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Echo244 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:18 am UTC

I like the way Cueball is advocating the cleaning of plates and glasses, but not of pots and pans. Mmmmm, layers of seasoning, flavour and some sort of culinary heritage cooked in to every dish...

<Echo's scrambled eggs often taste of soy, garlic, chilli, ginger and whatever else she was frying last night>
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DennyMo
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby DennyMo » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:22 am UTC

Anybody else have the phrase "Thank you, Captain Obvious!" pop into mind while reading these?

Or maybe today's comic was a PSA for blondes...

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby thallone » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:41 am UTC

What? No click-through?

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Cousj001 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:42 am UTC

chrisjwmartin wrote:
Flumble wrote:
HES wrote:Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

As in 'ER Majesty?

As in "Elizabeth Regina".


Actually, ER refers to Elizabeth I; By the Grace of God, Queen of England, France and Ireland, Defender of the Faith, etc.. Our present monarch's royal cypher is EIIR; for Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.
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da Doctah
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:43 am UTC

HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

If you're anything like me, the Queen is an Accident. And maybe also an Emergency.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Eebster the Great » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:45 am UTC

cellocgw wrote:
HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.


Little Known Fact: here in the US and A, there are no "Emergency Rooms." THey are ED, for Emergency Department. Popular lore and TV show titles notwithstanding.

At least one hospital near me (CCF) has an "emergency department" and at least one (UH) has an "emergency room." So both terms are used.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:52 am UTC

cellocgw wrote:
ps.02 wrote:Did you know you can microwave something for more than 9 seconds? Simply press the number buttons, one after another, as though you were writing out a number from left to right. (This also explains why there is a "0" button, which you've probably wondered about.)


On the "actually true" side, didja know that you can punch in "99" and the microwave will run for 99 seconds? You've just saved a keystroke compared with punching in "1:39" :P

That is not true. Not for most microwaves I have seen apart from movies. I have no number buttons on my microwave. Only 2 rotary dials (one for power + time and one for function select(microwave, oven, grill, all permutations of those three and settings)) and 4 push buttons (OK, start, enter and previous).
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby HES » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:55 am UTC

I have a cheap ass-microwave which only has dials. None of this digital mumbo jumbo.
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:08 pm UTC

My microwave is digitally controlled and probably wasn't cheap. Even the highest end microwave here in the Netherlands don't have number buttons.
Here is the built in selection of a major online seller of this stuff. No number buttons at all. Not even on the EUR 668 ($753) model.
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patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Hafting » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:08 pm UTC

And on boxes of frozen pizza, they actually print "Take the pizza out of the box & plastic before heating". It amazes me to imagine people who actually benefit from such advice.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby PolakoVoador » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:16 pm UTC

Hafting wrote:And on boxes of frozen pizza, they actually print "Take the pizza out of the box & plastic before heating". It amazes me to imagine people who actually benefit from such advice.

I believe it's more of a defence for the the company, otherwise someone somewhere will come up with: "I put your pizza in the oven, but everything caught fire because of your stupid box!"

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Flumble
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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Flumble » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:22 pm UTC

Hafting wrote:And on boxes of frozen pizza, they actually print "Take the pizza out of the box & plastic before heating". It amazes me to imagine people who actually benefit from such advice.

You'll learn this at some point, so it's plausible that a few people have learnt it by reading the box.
Oven lasagna, for example, comes in a variety of packages, some that are used to prepare it, some that might even have microwave support, and some that aren't suited for preparation at all.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Eebster the Great » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:24 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:
cellocgw wrote:
ps.02 wrote:Did you know you can microwave something for more than 9 seconds? Simply press the number buttons, one after another, as though you were writing out a number from left to right. (This also explains why there is a "0" button, which you've probably wondered about.)


On the "actually true" side, didja know that you can punch in "99" and the microwave will run for 99 seconds? You've just saved a keystroke compared with punching in "1:39" :P

That is not true. Not for most microwaves I have seen apart from movies. I have no number buttons on my microwave. Only 2 rotary dials (one for power + time and one for function select(microwave, oven, grill, all permutations of those three and settings)) and 4 push buttons (OK, start, enter and previous).

The large majority of microwaves in the U.S. have buttons rather than dials. Even cheap microwaves under $40 all have buttons. When I search Google for microwaves, more than 95% have buttons. And every microwave I have ever used in my life has buttons, and whenever I have tried numbers between 60 and 100, it works just fine.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby rmsgrey » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:28 pm UTC

Eebster the Great wrote:
HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

Aren't accidents just examples of emergencies? (At least the ones you would go to the hospital for?)

Maybe it's one of those redundant legal doublets like "null and void."


Accidents are unplanned occurrences; emergencies are things that require immediate action. There's overlap, but not exact equivalence. The treatment for most non-urgent accidental injuries is also pretty much the same as for a lot of emergency conditions.

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby speising » Fri Aug 21, 2015 1:02 pm UTC

rmsgrey wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:
HES wrote:
biohazard wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:? And Emergency?

accident? just a guess

Accident and Emergency is the British equivalent of the Emergency Room. To us, ER refers to the Queen.

Aren't accidents just examples of emergencies? (At least the ones you would go to the hospital for?)

Maybe it's one of those redundant legal doublets like "null and void."


Accidents are unplanned occurrences; emergencies are things that require immediate action. There's overlap, but not exact equivalence. The treatment for most non-urgent accidental injuries is also pretty much the same as for a lot of emergency conditions.


No one claimed it was equivalent. But accidents seem to be a strict subset of emergencies, or can you name a counter example whcih requires A&E/ER/ED care?

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Re: 1567: "Kitchen Tips"

Postby Echo244 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 1:29 pm UTC

Cut to the skin where the bleeding's been stopped; not an emergency, still needs stitches.
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