The worst film you've seen

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Angua » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:51 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
Grop wrote:I haven't watched The Last Airbender; it came to my knowledge when I was an adult and it was apparently too dumb for my demographics (I did see a few episodes before deciding that). Making the fire people brown people is certainly a bad move (I think they are the villains in this story).

However, worst movie that you have seen? I suspect you just had very high expectations from the animated series.

I watched the cartoon at 36. It's aimed at kids, sure, but it's a pretty good series overall.

Of course, having Mick Foley voice a one shot braggadocious "fighter" named The Boulder was just perfect.

The Boulder does return to do what The Boulder does best. Talk about The Boulder in the third person...

Also, TLA the movie is definitely up there as the worst movie ever. Not only does it completely spit in the face of anything to do with the original series, but the acting is wooden and the CGI is awful.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zohar » Sun Dec 24, 2017 12:15 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Wasn't Mako (Aku) a major character in that show?

Yes, he plays Uncle Iroh. Uncle Iroh is amazing.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Sun Dec 24, 2017 6:58 am UTC

Uncle Iroh is a lusty pervert. He groped Jun the bounty huntress woman when she was paralyzed by her own pet! Groped her. Zuko and Azula are right: His Royal Tea-Loving Kookiness is a crazy old pervert man.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zohar » Sun Dec 24, 2017 3:12 pm UTC

He's a flawed character, and that was a disappointment and a failure of his character. Much like all other characters on Avatar, he's nuanced and complex and isn't a purely good person.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby OP Tipping » Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:26 am UTC

Eraserhead.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Dec 28, 2017 11:41 am UTC

OP Tipping wrote:Eraserhead.

You just listed the title of what some consider to be David Lynch(professional weirdo)'s best work.

And nothing else.

Can you please explain what the problem was?

Also - insert my "you really need to watch more bad films if that was the worst" statements.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Liri » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:43 pm UTC

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians but I don't think it really counts since I watched it after seeing it at the top of a "worst movies" list. It was pretty bad tbqh.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Grop » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:11 pm UTC

Ah ah so you saw it at the top of that list and decided to watch it? Was there some motive other than try to win the thread? Alas I don't think we have defined the winning conditions for this game.

Does he conquer their hearts and make them good kids? Do they call him out on not giving them stuff on christmases before?

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zohar » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:24 pm UTC

I enjoy a good terrible movie from time to time. Like, I can say Next is really one of the worst films I've seen in the cinema, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. On the other hand Cars is one of the very few movies I actually walked out on because it was so bad.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby commodorejohn » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:46 pm UTC

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is mostly hampered by having a budget of like five dollars, plus the standard-issue B-movie Odious Comic Relief. But it's at least kind of endearingly crappy in that school-play sort of way.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Liri » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:52 pm UTC

Grop wrote:Ah ah so you saw it at the top of that list and decided to watch it? Was there some motive other than try to win the thread? Alas I don't think we have defined the winning conditions for this game.

Does he conquer their hearts and make them good kids? Do they call him out on not giving them stuff on christmases before?

I watched it years ago, way before I joined the forum.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby doogly » Thu Dec 28, 2017 11:10 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
OP Tipping wrote:Eraserhead.

You just listed the title of what some consider to be David Lynch(professional weirdo)'s best work.

And nothing else.

Can you please explain what the problem was?

Also - insert my "you really need to watch more bad films if that was the worst" statements.


Yeah, that is like saying Taylor Meade's Ass is bad.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby LaserGuy » Tue Jan 09, 2018 12:49 am UTC

Grop wrote:I haven't watched The Last Airbender; it came to my knowledge when I was an adult and it was apparently too dumb for my demographics (I did see a few episodes before deciding that). Making the fire people brown people is certainly a bad move (I think they are the villains in this story).

However, worst movie that you have seen? I suspect you just had very high expectations from the animated series.


I think even if the cartoon didn't exist at all, this would still be considered a really awful movie. The fact that it is also a bastardization of a really excellent media certainly adds insult to injury, but it's still a bad movie in terms of plot, characterization, acting, pacing, special effects... pretty much every metric of filmmaking there is.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Wed Jan 24, 2018 1:44 am UTC

Kill Bill: Volumes One and Two were... like violence pornography. Discussion of details why re: worst film you've/I've seen in spoilers.

Spoiler:
Beatrix just gets abused by men for no reason. Men shoot her while she pregnant, beat her up, r*** her and... she just gets through ALL of it every time? She's like super human durable, she can fight over eighty crazed gangsters at a time... how she do that yo? AND Elle is just sadistic and cruel, killing her own partners and some monk guy who was Beatrix's master once JUST because he was mean to her at dinnertime? And the assassins, I know they paid to be lethal snakelike women and men yet: Why can't they ever, ever be nice to each other? And Bill is heartless, he chases B all over America, Japan... and other places... he never forgives her for making him think she's dead WHEN HE was the one that shot her so. Elle puts snakes in Budd's briefcase to double-cross him and steal B's Hanzo sword.

I just wish that... Bill woulda forgave B for leaving him, it's not her fault she pregnant, no woman ever chooses to get knocked up outside of very specific, commonly fertility related reasons, or wanna settle down and. SHE, Beatrix, wanna settle down so: LET HER GO BILL. She's not your trainee girl anymore, Pai Mai taught her more than you ever did anyways, and he not even an assassin except... when people don't nod back re: respecting his authority. ANYWAYS: Bill needs to leave a woman alone, forever, stop chasing her w/all his ppls and. That assassin team needs to be disbanded, or turn into a charity call girls' services, or something. It was just a parade of tragedy, after scandal, after injustices and... worst film you've/I've seen recently.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Bloopy » Thu Jan 25, 2018 1:30 am UTC

Haha, I love Kill Bill. It makes sense within its own universe where things are exaggerated (especially the sound effects). I'll agree that most of the cruel characters aren't particularly likeable, and so Vol. 2 isn't as great because of all the talking. But O-Ren Ishii and Gogo Yubari in Vol. 1 are highly entertaining.

"Violence pornography" is a term I'd apply to films that seems to exist only for the purpose of showing violence, and not for making a homage to martial arts films or telling a character's life story or anything else that Kill Bill does. The Beyond (1981) comes to mind as the plot is laughable. Most of the Saw sequels aren't much better.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Thu Jan 25, 2018 12:54 pm UTC

LOL Saw WORST FILM I've seen too. Like, they just set up elaborate death traps everywhere, and that dude was a terminal cancer patient so how he get the energy, time, and man and woman powers to build those elaborate death traps? Gruesome scenes that make me sick everywhere. The Jigsaw guy is painted as an unsung hero for FORCING PPLS TO LIKE THEIR LIVES W/TRAUMAS... no, that won't make me value my life more, that shall just make me afraid that Jigsaw shall come back and hurt me it WON'T make me appreciate life. And that woman who was his apprentice? Totally crazy and sad... she was the only one I really liked as a character... and it was just parade of shocking death scenes, after torture scenes, after murdering and death traps scenes... violence pornography all over the places. </3 ;_;
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Yablo » Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:05 pm UTC

Ginger wrote:Saw

Disclaimer: I've never actually seen the entirety of any of the Saw movies, but the parts I have seen were just ... bad. I mean, they were really well done, I guess, given their intended purpose of overloading your tolerance for gore. But anyone who's read the Delta Green thread in my sig probably knows I prefer my horror to be more "Alfred Hitchcock meets Bruce Campbell" than "Facebook Live goes wrong."

The Saw movies don't seem to add anything of value to movie culture, and that might make them worse than anything Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever helped people suffer through.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mutex » Thu Jan 25, 2018 8:16 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:
Ginger wrote:Saw

Disclaimer: I've never actually seen the entirety of any of the Saw movies, but the parts I have seen were just ... bad. I mean, they were really well done, I guess, given their intended purpose of overloading your tolerance for gore. But anyone who's read the Delta Green thread in my sig probably knows I prefer my horror to be more "Alfred Hitchcock meets Bruce Campbell" than "Facebook Live goes wrong."

The Saw movies don't seem to add anything of value to movie culture, and that might make them worse than anything Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever helped people suffer through.

I thought the first one was decent. Not over-the-top gory, quite interesting and well executed. After that it was a pure gore-fest of course.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jan 25, 2018 8:21 pm UTC

Torture-porn. Saw and it's ilk are torture-porn.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Izawwlgood » Thu Jan 25, 2018 8:51 pm UTC

Samurai Cop. Amazingly bad in literally every way.

Re: Saw films - they're a bit torture porn-y, but they also have some decent Cronenbergian elements. At least the first... 3? have some nice twists and turns regarding character development, and they seem to be somewhat reasonable extensions of the movie Seven.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby emceng » Thu Jan 25, 2018 10:34 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:Samurai Cop. Amazingly bad in literally every way.

.


I've been going through the available Rifftrax on Amazon Prime, and watched this one. Wow, yeah it was terrible. And did I miss something - why the hell was he called samurai cop? My memory isn't good, but didn't the bad guy have a sword, and the cop never did? That's like, the main thing about being a samurai, besides all the bushido stuff.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Jan 26, 2018 1:58 pm UTC

I super vaguely maybe made it up remembered a single line about how he was trained in karate or something?

Good interview w/Matt Hannon
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby mosc » Fri Jan 26, 2018 2:31 pm UTC

Angua wrote:Also, TLA the movie is definitely up there as the worst movie ever. Not only does it completely spit in the face of anything to do with the original series, but the acting is wooden and the CGI is awful.

A legit contender.

I still say putting a camera on a tripod and shooting paint dry for 2 hours is not a bad movie, it's just one of the laziest movies you could make. They're totally different. To truly be bad you need to have access to lots of funds and talent and development time and writing and still make complete trash. You have to destroy something people care about, ruin more than just a few hours worth of time. You have to set your sights high, very high, and fail miserably, very miserably.

I am still partial to the massive scope and massive failure of "The Postman" but "The Last Airbender" deserves some serious extra credit for walking all over the source material.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Mon Feb 05, 2018 12:35 am UTC

Funny Games it about rich, white boys that... be mean to an entire family, harm them... mortally and: Get away with it. They start doing it again to other families. They made bad, awful jokes about lit fictions and... did mean things to a women, girls, and men and boys. And play loud music while they rampages through their homes. And they even hate each other very much and the dominant one bullies the submissive one. It's just a terrible, worst movie I've seen recently.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Wed Feb 07, 2018 3:49 am UTC

I'll bite: was there anything in particular that drew you to watch Funny Games? Everything I've read about it suggests that the film's creators quite deliberately set out to make something thoroughly uncomfortable to watch, which sort of puts it into a different category of badness.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Weeks » Wed Feb 07, 2018 12:50 pm UTC

Epic Movie, the only movie I consciously picked out to see (I was 15 and didnt know better) and found out the hard way how bad it was. Quit at about 20 mins in.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:50 pm UTC

Jorpho wrote:I'll bite: was there anything in particular that drew you to watch Funny Games? Everything I've read about it suggests that the film's creators quite deliberately set out to make something thoroughly uncomfortable to watch, which sort of puts it into a different category of badness.

I watch it 'cause like, I like, bad scary horror/psychological thriller movies sometimes. And it was: So, so badness and cringe-worthy. On purposes too? I just... wanted to see how bad it was? I didn't even hear any of the press I just had it turn on while mommy was watching her television set. And it made me feel thoroughly gross, kinda violate, and was... a terrible, worst film I've seen recently for the multiple, multiple needless cruelties of the rich white torturer boys and how they treat the families they torture? NO ONE: No woman, girl, boy or man... deserves what they did to them? SO my femininely feelings about that movie for you. <3 :D
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Aug 05, 2019 6:20 am UTC

So not worst movie, but terrible TV show. "Another Life", on Netflix. Watched the first episode. It's just... awful.

Alright, the special effects look beyond cheesy. I can live with that.

Premise is that there's an alien probe on Earth, and they decide the best way to figure out if it's friendly or hostile is to send a spaceship over to greet the aliens personally. Alright, you got me. But then, well, spoilers....
Spoiler:
The ship is staffed by a bunch of good looking 20 somethings with absolutely no discipline who actively whine that old people shouldn't be allowed in space, appear to have have less competence than the crew of a failing McDonald's restaurant, and instantly mutiny because the captain decides to take a safer route when the fragile spaceship is literally falling apart around them? Their method of subduing the captain is to fight her one at a time instead of rushing all at once. Then the new plan they have from their other "captain" that they've worked with for a year or so fails catastrophically because he's so fracking stupid as to not avoid crashing into a solar flare, and whose plan that everyone was sooo sure would work involved drawing power from the FTL drive to beef up the shields and absolutely no one realized this would take the FTL offline? And when it became blatantly obvious the other captain was an incompetent who would've killed everyone, he still tried to murder the competent one?

I read a bit of other reviews, and apparently it doesn't get better. Everyone has bullshit highschool drama and it's basically MTV's Real World, recycled in space, with the space part having barely anything to do with it. Plus, everyone is a moron that does things like take off their environmental suits instead of being smart and assuming every planet was full of bubonic ebolaids until proven otherwise.


Also, this is more a nitpick that applies to scifi shows in general, but the whole slingshot maneuver? I don't get it. I play KSP, and a slingshot is where you fly past a moon and you pick up some extra velocity in the direction the moon was traveling. How would traveling past a star give you any extra velocity unless it was moving in the direction you wanted, and how would orbiting the star result in a slingshot?

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby maybeagnostic » Mon Aug 05, 2019 7:16 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Also, this is more a nitpick that applies to scifi shows in general, but the whole slingshot maneuver? I don't get it. I play KSP, and a slingshot is where you fly past a moon and you pick up some extra velocity in the direction the moon was traveling. How would traveling past a star give you any extra velocity unless it was moving in the direction you wanted, and how would orbiting the star result in a slingshot?

Can't comment on the show but might they have been using the star slingshot to change direction? Not sure why someone capable of easy FTL would need to do so but I think slingshot can be used to slow down or change direction instead of speeding up (which requires you to be moving slower than the body you are using to slingshot anyway which an FTL ship or even something moving at a meaningful fraction of c absolutely would not be doing).
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby commodorejohn » Mon Aug 05, 2019 7:48 am UTC

I'd be interested to hear a proper explanation from someone who knows what the hell they're talking about, but as I understand it the idea is to exploit what is essentially centrifugal/centripetal force derived from gravity trying to deflect an object/craft moving past a gravitational attractor towards it, but balancing it out just right so that the force exerted meets or exceeds escape velocity for the attractor. Essentially, it's the effect that happens when a small child decides to bum-rush you and you grab their arms and effortlessly fling them off into the weeds using their own energy, which is definitely a responsible thing that all adults should feel free to do.

In essence, it can change direction relative to the attractee's direction of travel because the attractor is always pulling things towards it, but the momentum in the direction perpendicular to the direction of the attractor doesn't just vanish. It's the same reason a spacecraft or satellite can be injected into a stable orbit, but with more oomph behind it.

But I'm no astrophysicist, and I've been drinking. So take that with a grain of salt, and/or call someone who knows what they're on about.
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby rmsgrey » Mon Aug 05, 2019 2:10 pm UTC

maybeagnostic wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:Also, this is more a nitpick that applies to scifi shows in general, but the whole slingshot maneuver? I don't get it. I play KSP, and a slingshot is where you fly past a moon and you pick up some extra velocity in the direction the moon was traveling. How would traveling past a star give you any extra velocity unless it was moving in the direction you wanted, and how would orbiting the star result in a slingshot?

Can't comment on the show but might they have been using the star slingshot to change direction? Not sure why someone capable of easy FTL would need to do so but I think slingshot can be used to slow down or change direction instead of speeding up (which requires you to be moving slower than the body you are using to slingshot anyway which an FTL ship or even something moving at a meaningful fraction of c absolutely would not be doing).


You can slingshot to speed up regardless of your speed, provided you and the body you're using are both moving relative to whatever reference frame you're measuring your speed in. You enter and leave the slingshot with the same speed relative to the center of mass of your two-body system, but because that center of mass is moving relative to the fixed background, if you come in moving in the opposite direction to the planet/star/whatever, and leave moving in the same direction, you change from subtracting the center of mass's speed from your own relative to it to adding the center of mass's speed to your own relative to it in order to get your speed relative to the background.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Aug 05, 2019 3:14 pm UTC

Yeah but they are just chilling out in the star system, and try to slingshot by getting close to the star and orbiting close enough to be bashed by solar flares. A slingshot should only require that you pass by a star, not orbit it really close.

I mean, it's not a big thing, I put up with sound in space in movies after all. I put up with scientists in movies looking like instagram models. The big problem is how Earth decided to crew their most important mission of all time with a bunch of incompetent man-babies. No matter what else, I simply can't suspend my belief enough, and it simply isn't funny enough for the show to be an accidental comedy.

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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby rmsgrey » Tue Aug 06, 2019 11:59 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Yeah but they are just chilling out in the star system, and try to slingshot by getting close to the star and orbiting close enough to be bashed by solar flares. A slingshot should only require that you pass by a star, not orbit it really close.


The closer you get, the bigger the momentum transfer, but, yeah, for stuff in the same solar system, passing near the central star in free fall is pretty pointless in terms of speed change, though it does let you change direction. Also, getting onto a course that sends you toward the star is tricky - if you're in a circular orbit, it takes less delta-v to escape the local gravity well than it does to fall to the center.

Of course, there is another option for a slingshot and that is to fire rockets (or some other form of reaction-drive) at perihelion - by getting the same change in velocity at a higher speed, you gain more kinetic energy, so will be moving faster once you get back to your original distance from the star than you would have been had you done the same burn without orbiting in. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oberth_effect

Again, for this sort of flyby, the deeper into the gravity well you get, the bigger the benefit. Though once you start getting really close, you have to take account of the cost as well...

Alex111
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Alex111 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:56 am UTC

I think it was Suspiria (2018)

This film has 6.8 rating on IMDB https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034415/, but it was horrible. It was the worst film in my life.

Mutex
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mutex » Fri Aug 16, 2019 10:10 am UTC

I've heard it's pretty hard to watch. Was it actually bad though?

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Angua
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Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Angua » Fri Aug 16, 2019 10:53 am UTC

Otherhood on netflix was pretty bad. You think it's going to be a nice heartwarming film about mothers and sons reconnecting, but then the mothers show how controlling they are which is why their sons cut them off in the first place, but by constant pestering and stalking they manage to get what they want with no insight into how controlling and manipulative they were.
Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett


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