Apple is a fucking sack of shit

[Pfhorrest]

Have a 2011 mbp that used to be perfectly serviceable

Computers dont just get fucking slower over time, they aren't goddamn cars made of mechanical parts that wear out

Motherfucker has gotten laggy as all shit over the past few years and i am fucking sick of it

I blame the goddamn os updates they everyone fucking insists you MUST get because Oh me yarm Oh f34r teh hax0rz zomgomgom

But nothing fucking comes with install media anymore so i cant just do a clean install back to the way this shit came if i wanted

Any recommendations that don't involve me letting these motherfuckers i used to love extort more money out of me?

Fuck tim cook up his ass

Also fuck whoever the hell runs ms these days because those shits are evil as ever too. Office 2008 auto- "upgraded" itself to office 365 that now won't run without me paying them monthly so those fucking cocksuckers just trojan-deleted perfectly fucking good software i had a permanent right to use right off my fucking computer.

[Mutex]

I'm not a Mac guy but this article seems to have instructions for doing a fresh install, which is probably your best bet to make it snappier:
https://www.macworld.co.uk/how-to/mac-s ... e-3575875/

The installation files are apparently available from the App store, it doesn't seem like you need to pay for them, I'm not 100% sure though. Also you'll need an external drive or memory stick of some sort. Hope this helps.

[Pfhorrest]

That looks very helpful, thanks!

[cphite]

Also fuck whoever the hell runs ms these days because those shits are evil as ever too. Office 2008 auto- "upgraded" itself to office 365 that now won't run without me paying them monthly so those fucking cocksuckers just trojan-deleted perfectly fucking good software i had a permanent right to use right off my fucking computer.

I recently saw this happen on a relatives laptop, and we ended up nuking 365 and reinstalling 2008... instructions and other information can be found here:

https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/msoffice/forum/msoffice_excel-mso_mac-msoversion_other/forced-update-to-office-365-form-mac-office-2008/ad62e056-a7c0-45a5-92f8-c881846a23a2?auth=1

Supposedly it was a bug in the auto-updater service, which they've (also supposedly) fixed. If you have a normal 2008 license it should be good forever, no reason to pay them more.

[Pfhorrest]

Thanks. I'd since already discovered that as well. I don't have my old Office 2008 install media any more (or rather, since this was on my work computer, my boss can't find it), so we've just abandoned using Office entirely and switched to Google Apps.

[thunk]

I'm not a Mac guy but this article seems to have instructions for doing a fresh install, which is probably your best bet to make it snappier:
https://www.macworld.co.uk/how-to/mac-s ... e-3575875/

The installation files are apparently available from the App store, it doesn't seem like you need to pay for them, I'm not 100% sure though. Also you'll need an external drive or memory stick of some sort. Hope this helps.

You don't even need a mac for that, they're also available more directly from the swscan.apple.com domain (which is how I got the image for my hackintosh)