Corrupt-a-wish

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solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Tue May 07, 2019 3:48 pm UTC

Not granted: going meta in any creative endeavour is evil enough that I don't want to make it worse.

I wish for a widget with 360 degrees of freedom

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu May 09, 2019 12:30 am UTC

given that's impossible with a 3d object it would have to be a multidimensional product and therefore you would have a hard time interacting with it.


i wish my imprisonment isn't too harsh.
good luck have fun

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Thu May 09, 2019 8:53 am UTC

Granted. You're in solitary confinement with [insert gruesome depiction of actual prison], but the supreme court decides that it's not cruel or unusual.

I wish to have free will.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu May 09, 2019 2:59 pm UTC

Granted. But since free will is an illusion, you are too.

I wish for a hola hoop (not to be confused with a hula hoop), so I could claim to be able to produce it in fifteen seconds.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri May 10, 2019 1:20 am UTC

umm sorry about the typo, i thought i spelled it right. granted.

i wish to have a good night rest every night.
good luck have fun

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Fri May 10, 2019 8:43 am UTC

Granted. You have a good 10 hours sleep every night. No matter how many sound, light or smells are present around you (including your own alarm clock or your significant other trying to shake you awake), there's nothing that can stop you from completing your rest.

I wish to complete my urgent report without going to the xkcd forums every 15 minutes.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri May 10, 2019 4:02 pm UTC

Granted, you are banned from the XKCD forums.

I wish for a magical thermostat that could change the average temperature of the Earth's surface.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri May 10, 2019 5:45 pm UTC

pretty sure i shouldn't grant this, in the wrong hands it could destroy all life on earth.

i wish meh i guess i'm good as is.
good luck have fun

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Mon May 13, 2019 11:50 am UTC

Granted. You're good ... enough, and you'll stay the same forever

I wish for a Muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri May 17, 2019 5:10 am UTC

Granted. All inventions burn up, making the brightest flame ascending to heaven. Muse on that.

I wish for new luggage.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Fri May 17, 2019 10:01 pm UTC

Granted. At the airport instead of your luggage you get a suitcase full of dildos

I wish that before each meal I'm just hungry enough to appreciate eating.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun May 19, 2019 5:20 am UTC

All you want to eat is 1 teaspoon of food 3 times a day. You're an anorexic.

I wish for a chair that I can do everything done in this comic with.
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svenman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Sun May 19, 2019 9:14 am UTC

Granted. You are now Cueball and exist as a two-dimensional stick figure within the confines of that XKCD strip.

I wish Germany could make better music.
Apart from Forum Games, mostly active on the One True Thread.
If you need help understanding what's going on there, the xkcd Time Wiki may be useful.

Addams thanks all of us who helped. Her life is much better now.

Randallspeed to all blitzers on the One True Thread!

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Sun May 19, 2019 9:42 am UTC

svenman wrote:You are now Cueball and exist as a two-dimensional stick figure within the confines of that XKCD strip.


Wait. How is that a bad outcome ?

svenman wrote:I wish Germany could make better music.


Granted. All the classical composers disappear from history and we're left with only the good stuff: techno/electro/dance music.

I wish that everyone would admit that my tastes are the right tastes.

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon May 20, 2019 2:03 pm UTC

solune wrote:
svenman wrote:You are now Cueball and exist as a two-dimensional stick figure within the confines of that XKCD strip.


Wait. How is that a bad outcome ?


Spoiler:
ImageImage I mean really, there are lots of bad things Cueball has to deal with.



granted, everyone agrees that you taste delicious.


I wish that my coffee was better, but not too much better.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Mon May 20, 2019 9:19 pm UTC

Granted. Your coffee is better and not too much better. However it is too much period. As in you've got a big barrel of scalding coffee pouring down your face.

I wish I was less worried about that trip I'm making.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon May 20, 2019 10:57 pm UTC

granted you're 50% less worried.

i wish to be a good person all the time.
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu May 23, 2019 4:45 am UTC

Granted. All the other people are great people all the time.

I wish the items presently on my desk were in order.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Thu May 23, 2019 3:19 pm UTC

Granted. You spend the next hour inventing a mathematical ordering that is self-consistent, wherein all the objects on your desk are already ordered.

I wish that fan would make less noise.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu May 23, 2019 5:27 pm UTC

Granted. It doesn't work at all.

I wish I had gotten checked out in the Arrow.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu May 23, 2019 7:49 pm UTC

granted, you had a bit part as a a bystander in the Arrow TV show, wherein you tried to check out a book in the library. However, the plot of the show revolved around the library being destroyed, and you were unable to check out as the library collapsed upon you.

No stunt doubles were used, and you were accidentally crushed under the building.

I wish metahumans were real.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Sat May 25, 2019 5:46 pm UTC

They are real. Everybody is one except you. And they've been hiding it from you so as to not hurt your feelings.

I wish there was a law against powercreep in fantasy series

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat May 25, 2019 11:17 pm UTC

Granted. It is a law against playing or having played any such games. You are arrested, convicted, and jailed.

I wish I could change my natural wake/sleep cycle at will.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Mon May 27, 2019 2:15 pm UTC

Granted. You can wake up and fall asleep as will. You overuse your new power, sleeping only an average of 4 hours a day and as a result you are way more tired than before.

I wish to live on the world described by the flat earthers.

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svenman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Mon May 27, 2019 6:51 pm UTC

Granted. Unfortunately, your front door is now flush with the edge of the world and you fall off the next time you step outside.

I wish I weren't so tired.
Apart from Forum Games, mostly active on the One True Thread.
If you need help understanding what's going on there, the xkcd Time Wiki may be useful.

Addams thanks all of us who helped. Her life is much better now.

Randallspeed to all blitzers on the One True Thread!

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:26 pm UTC

granted. you're 50% less tired.

i wish to enjoy my life every day.
good luck have fun

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:38 pm UTC

Granted. The international comitee on Time decides that a "day" will only end when you have enjoyed yourself once. It may take a while...

I wish for a better blood pressure.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jun 04, 2019 2:02 am UTC

Granted. You have great blood pressure. The best blood pressure. Nobody has better blood pressure than you.

And you're in the White House. And you have orange hair.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Jun 05, 2019 1:35 am UTC

granted. you can go back in time and tell yourself anything you need to know.

i wish good health for everyone.
good luck have fun

solune
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby solune » Wed Jun 05, 2019 3:51 pm UTC

Granted: everyone is now a brain in a vat. A very clean vat.

I wish to have Neo's powers.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:58 am UTC

A shady online persona offers to give you all of his powers on exchange for 1 bitcoin, which you accept since you want your wish granted. A pair of sunglasses and a set of implantable emp detectors arrive in the mail. The emp detectors tell you where the machines are and the sunglasses function as VR headsets that log you into the RPG known as The Matrix, while hacking the environment to enable your powers. You arrive at a war zone. Bullets are fired at you and you panic, using your powers to slow them down and dodge them. A passing GM catches you using your cheating powers and bans you from the virtual world. Your sunglasses are bricked and your emp detectors mainly just remind you of your lost opportunity whenever you go near electronics.

I wish for moonrock.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Jun 27, 2019 4:47 pm UTC

Granted, your neighbor forms a band playing a genre they call "moon rock". The genre is marked by accidental use of polyrythms and microtones. It can only be played when the moon is near it's peak, requiring many middle of the night practice sessions.

I wish to be able to visit restaurants before they open, and still get service as if they were open.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:20 pm UTC

Granted. You get service as if they were open, but you don't get food.

I wish to control all the AI that exists and ever will exist.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:45 pm UTC

granted as long as you don't do anything harmful with them.

i wish for a wife, one i can see and interact with, and isn't a family member.
good luck have fun

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jul 01, 2019 4:57 pm UTC

Granted, I get a "mail order" bride for your. To save on the hassle of convincing her to marry someone without meeting them (even online) I get a woman twenty years your senior. She's from the republic ofGeorgia, so you'll have that in common and you won't have to pay as much for her airfare.

I wish for an Italian sandwich, with fresh ingredients, severed warm.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

ubersketch
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ubersketch » Mon Jul 01, 2019 5:20 pm UTC

Become Adolf Hitler himself.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jul 01, 2019 5:24 pm UTC

granted you become adolf hitler himself.

CHESS!
good luck have fun

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Freddino18
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:24 pm UTC

BACKGAMMON!

I wish for a lemon on a stick. (don't ask me why)
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jul 15, 2019 3:07 pm UTC

Granted, lemons now literally grow on trees and every lemon forms "on a stick" (aka branch). This change is retroactive and nobody will remember anything else.

I wish for housekeeping pixies.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Freddino18
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:43 pm UTC

Granted. Their style can be represented by the following attachment:
my-housekeeping-style-isbestdescribed-as-tthere-appears-to-have-been-4210610.png
damn pixies


I wish for a Shaggy meme.
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r


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