In other news... (humorous news items)

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Yablo
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Thu May 17, 2018 9:36 pm UTC

elasto wrote:Guess it's pragmatic!

Definitely, and I guess Kelvin isn't such a bad name to have. I mean, it could have been Melvin or Kefin (no offense to any Melvins or Kefins here). It reminds me of how Oprah's name was Orpah, but no one pronounced it correctly.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu May 17, 2018 9:44 pm UTC


She called him Kelvin? I see absolutely zero problems with that.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Thu May 17, 2018 11:07 pm UTC

When I saw that, earlier, I thought that maybe the kid needs to get a "Mun" heart-and-scroll tattoo when he gets older, or whatever the Swedish equivalent would be. ;)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Fri May 18, 2018 5:04 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:

She called him Kelvin? I see absolutely zero problems with that.

Yeah, no objection to the name at all, though I do think changing a kid's name when he's 5 is a bit rough. My son will be 3 in a few weeks, and there's already no way he'd go for a name change.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Fri May 18, 2018 5:06 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:
Mutex wrote:

She called him Kelvin? I see absolutely zero problems with that.

Yeah, no objection to the name at all, though I do think changing a kid's name when he's 5 is a bit rough. My son will be 3 in a few weeks, and there's already no way he'd go for a name change.

TBH I was just making a pun.


The Kelvin temperature scale starts at "absolute zero".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby SuicideJunkie » Fri May 18, 2018 5:20 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:I think you are confusing it with the comic about ... ... ... .
Hmm.
I scored 50% on that test without looking anything up. I'm curious as to where I fit on the curve.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zamfir » Fri May 18, 2018 6:49 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:When I saw that, earlier, I thought that maybe the kid needs to get a "Mun" heart-and-scroll tattoo when he gets older, or whatever the Swedish equivalent would be. ;)

That's the true KSP spirit. Now, if he also changes his name to Kerbin.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Fri May 18, 2018 9:33 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:
Yablo wrote:Yeah, no objection to the name at all, though I do think changing a kid's name when he's 5 is a bit rough. My son will be 3 in a few weeks, and there's already no way he'd go for a name change.

TBH I was just making a pun.

Yeah. I caught it after I posted. I've put a lot of effort into training myself not to recognize puns, but it rarely works.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Sat May 19, 2018 7:05 am UTC

Zamfir wrote:
Soupspoon wrote:When I saw that, earlier, I thought that maybe the kid needs to get a "Mun" heart-and-scroll tattoo when he gets older, or whatever the Swedish equivalent would be. ;)

That's the true KSP spirit. Now, if he also changes his name to Kerbin.

Kerbus, Kerbam, Kerbin, Kerbae, Kerbata, Kerber, adjective Kerbal, adverb Kerbally.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Sun May 20, 2018 10:05 pm UTC

Change-of-address scam moved UPS corporate headquarters to tiny Rogers Park apartment, feds say

Federal court papers unsealed last week revealed an astonishing but ultimately bungled scheme to file a change-of-address form claiming that shipping giant United Parcel Service had moved its headquarters from a bustling business park in Atlanta to a tiny garden apartment.

Not only did the change go through, but it also took months for anyone to catch on.


Really? Three months? No one noticed the mail wasn't coming to UPS headquarters for three months? That's really minding the store, folks.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Sun May 20, 2018 11:16 pm UTC

OK.
You win.

That's funny.
It takes Trumpian Balls to set up a Company and cash UPS Checks.

Poor Guy.
He forgot about the, It's not What but Who you know."
He forgot to have friends in High Places.

Three months??
That, Dear Posters, is a lot of Mail.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Tue May 22, 2018 5:53 pm UTC

Proud mom left humiliated after Publix censors her son's 'Summa Cum Laude' graduation cake for profanity.
My mother had no idea what that was! I think me having to explain it to her was the worst part!!

I would have just told her the --- was Morse Code.

... and also ...

Power outage and zombie alert for residents of Lake Worth and Terminus.
There are now far less than seven thousand three hundred and eighty customers involved due to extreme zombie activity. Restoration time uncertain.

I find it interesting that the danger threshold for zombie activity in the Lake Worth, FL area is 7,380. I also find it a little ironic that a town called Terminus is worried about a zombie apocalypse.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Tue May 22, 2018 9:14 pm UTC

Sweden prepares for war, or other disaster. Zombies not explicitly mentioned, but maybe salmon balls are an alternative to headshots?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Tue May 22, 2018 9:29 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:...town called Terminus is worried about a zombie apocalypse.

I'm all disappointed now. I was thinking planet Terminus and zombies, you know, Foundation series.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue May 22, 2018 9:33 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:Sweden prepares for war, or other disaster. Zombies not explicitly mentioned, but maybe salmon balls are an alternative to headshots?
ummm....I think you may have posted in the Wrong Thread.
That shit's not funny.

That is as Dark and Chilling as a Northern Winter Night.
I kept following links, Sweden spots Fake News; Sweden has Fake Documents submitted; Sweden find Russian Sub in her water.

(crap!)Europe does Not want War!
She knows well, that is a Losers Game.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Wed May 23, 2018 12:13 pm UTC

addams wrote:
Soupspoon wrote:Sweden prepares for war, or other disaster. Zombies not explicitly mentioned, but maybe salmon balls are an alternative to headshots?
ummm....I think you may have posted in the Wrong Thread.
That shit's not funny.

More linked by theme than by common levity, I'll grant you.

Never mind. Here's a funny one!

edit: No wait this backtracking retraction of stated intent is hilarious!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed May 23, 2018 2:11 pm UTC

Israel won Eurovision and it is shaping up to be a political nightmare, of course. The Eurovision board or whatever hasn't announced the exact location of the competition yet (Jerusalem vs. Tel Aviv is a big deal) because, well, there's an actual process for this. In the meantime the ministry of culture and the ministry of communication are trying to call all the shots.

The Israeli ministry of culture responded to this in such a ridiculously disrespectful manner that I wish I could do justice to it in translation. I'll do my best:

"All of this is bullshit. Everyone knows we'll lead an international event at the highest level and according to the European Broadcasting Union's demands. The <Israeli broadcasting union> needs to stop trying to screw us over. The two ministries will create a leadership team as agreed upon with the prime minister and accepted by the two ministers"

The original article is in Hebrew, here.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed May 23, 2018 2:53 pm UTC

But it was held in Jerusalem in prior years...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Wed May 23, 2018 2:57 pm UTC

This is the funniest part about Eurovision: no country wants to host it. Hence all the trolls not really trying to win.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed May 23, 2018 3:09 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:But it was held in Jerusalem in prior years...

In 1978 Israel was in the midst of intense peace negotiations with Egypt. In 1979 Israel and Egypt just signed the peace treaty. In 1999 a left-leaning prime minister was just elected and there were no notable attacks on Palestinians by Israel. In 2018 we have a PM and government who's strongly against Palestine, the US is actively promoting its relationship with Israel at the expense of Palestinian lives, and dozens of Palestinians were killed by IDF in the biggest attack in a decade.

Israel is not in a great situation, politically.

As for Jerusalem hosting it - well, it's considered an honor, and a city whose population and leadership consistently ignore or actively deride the spirit of Eurovision and its fans, maybe it shouldn't host it this year.

At least, that's what a lot of voices are saying.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Wed May 23, 2018 4:48 pm UTC

Grop wrote:This is the funniest part about Eurovision: no country wants to host it. Hence all the trolls not really trying to win.
From what I understand, this is becoming a problem for the Olympics, too.
It costs a ton of money to be the Host Country and the Olympic Panel expect to live like Kings.

A Clip about the Olympics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7aN1WjwiQk

Same S%$t;
Different Clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-rBxNHd2fI

Another, (sigh...):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bXJGZgR1BU
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed May 23, 2018 5:30 pm UTC

The Olympics usually cost a whole lot more than Eurovision does. Eurovision is a much smaller event and it's not a uniformly bad decision to host it.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu May 24, 2018 3:28 pm UTC

NO!

Eight women accuse Morgan Freeman of sexual harassment

Who will we find out is a bastard next? Ron Pearlman? John Cena? Keith David? Tom Kenny? Mr Rogers?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Thu May 24, 2018 3:48 pm UTC

On a much less serious note... didn't this thread have an "etc" in its title? Am I going mad? Wasn't it "(humorous news, etc)"?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby HES » Thu May 24, 2018 3:51 pm UTC

Until Nov 2016, apparently. Took me this long to notice.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu May 24, 2018 6:43 pm UTC

Also whoops. Thought this was the darker news thread.


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